Frank leaned on the porch railing with both hands and gazed over his ranch. “Your reason in coming here, and Coulter’s, too, is to figure out your place—your future. For him, it’s to earn back his property. Not all change is bad.” He took another draw on his cigar and then flung the stub to the dirt. Walking down the steps he then ground it out with his boot before looking up at her on the porch. “You both might just belong here more than you know.”
She watched him stride to the bunkhouse, his last words echoing inside her, giving her a sense of home. After prison Gabe was struggling to regain his place in this world as much as she was. Could she fault him for that? Of course not. But what did it mean for the two of them now?
“I suppose I had better find him and talk to him,” she murmured and looked toward the corral. Her horse stood there pawing the ground, still saddled. Gabe had never returned to take care of the mare.
Chapter Six
From the porch, Gabe stared at the land that once was his. He had to figure out what, if anything, he was going to do with the fact that he had a son...and that Brody was a Rawlins. The other hands were rounding up cattle in the back country and none of them would be coming by to check this part of Rawlins’s property. He could hole up awhile and think through a few things. Heck...he had that rattler he could eat, water from the well and all around him an abundance of dandelion greens. He was fit for more than a week if need be.
He stepped inside the house. Memories came rushing back at him...his father sitting by the fireplace, oiling his rifle, his mother making tortillas on the open hearth. He’d like Brody to know about his folks. There was a lot he’d like to tell him...teach him. Things a man should teach his son. Things his father taught him.
He headed out to the meadow where his parents’ gravestones stood side by side. Sitting down cross-legged in the grass, he stared at the stones and fisted his hands beneath his chin. What would he do now?
He wanted to continue working for Rawlins. He was learning a lot about managing a ranch even though Rawlins might not suspect it. But to see Riley every day and to keep on acting as though she didn’t affect him...how could he do that? The need to be near her was a gaping hole in his chest that grew larger every minute. There was no future in it, no hope, especially when he would never be good enough in her eyes to...
To what? Be Brody’s father? Be...someone special to her again?
If he stepped in...told the boy he was his father... Brody might hate him. An ex-convict for a father? Telling him might only make things worse. The kids at school had been rough enough just knowing that Gabe worked at the ranch. What would they be like if they found out he was Brody’s father? It would be tough on the boy. He might even get kicked out of school because he had Indian blood in his veins. That’s what had happened to him at the ripe age of twelve. If Riley wanted Brody in school, Gabe had to keep his mouth shut.
The pounding of hooves on the hard earth broke the stillness of high noon. He glanced toward the sound.
Riley.
He rose to his feet and crossed his arms over his chest as she reined her mare before the house. She had always been a natural at riding, with a fluid, graceful seat as though she was born for the saddle. She caught sight of him and jumped down, then tied the reins to the gate. Her steps slowed as she neared, moving from the bright sunlight into the shade of the oak.
“I thought you might be here.”
He nodded. Trying to keep in mind that to her, he wasn’t good enough. That he’d never measure up. But...she had come after him. She was here now.
“Are you coming back?” her voice was husky with worry.
He looked down, aware of the concern in her pretty green eyes. It came to him then, that he had to know there was more to go back for. Not just the land, not just a job. He had to know that she wanted him back. Enough to put everything right. Everything.
“Would it make a difference to you?”
She hesitated slightly. “You should come back...work off the debt to this land. After all, it really is your land.”
“I know where I stand with the land. I’m talking about where I stand with you.”
“Then...yes. Of course. You did just save my life. It would be good to have you return.”
She sure didn’t want to admit much. Guess the feelings between them were only one-sided—from him. That made things easier...and harder at the same time. He huffed out a breath. “Be sure, Riley. Because if I come back, I’m coming back as Brody’s father.”
The color drained from her face. “No. That’s not possible. Do you realize how that will look with me living there and you working there? The gossip? The...stares? I can’t do that to my son. Things have been difficult enough for him as it is.”
“For him! I’ve been cheated out of years with my son! My son! How do you think that makes me feel?”
She raised her chin. “I’m surprised you care at all. Especially when you used me and then deserted me.”
“What? What are you saying? I didn’t desert you.”
“You left me. After we were...together... I had to face my father and my mother. I defended what I thought was our abiding deep love. Silly me.”
He should have suspected that Rawlins would never tell her. No wonder she’d been on guard with him since she returned. “You don’t know what happened. Two of your father’s men took me to the border and held me there. When they finally released me, you were well on your way east.”
The shock and confusion in her eyes confirmed it. She’d never known.
“He said it was a lesson to cool me off. That I wasn’t good enough for you and never would be.”
“I never thought that! Not once. But when you didn’t come for me...”
He heard the hurt in her voice and hung his head, avoiding her gaze. “Guess he got to me. I thought maybe he was right. I wasn’t good enough.”
She pressed her hand to her forehead. “Oh, Gabe... I didn’t know!”
“I see that now.”
“When you didn’t come back to the waterfall the next night...or the next one...I began to question things. That afternoon you said that you hated my father. I thought...what happened between us...was your vengeance.”
That she had been thinking like that all these years left him cold inside. “You’ve got things all twisted in knots. Just so we’re clear...Brody was made with love, not revenge. That night we made love.”
She swayed slightly. “Oh...oh!”
He took hold of her arm to steady her.
Her eyes misted as she looked up at him. “I wanted so badly to believe that. But my father...my mother...”
“Guess they had both of us questioning things.” Reluctantly, he let go of her.
“What a mess.” She walked away a few steps and then turned to face him. “I didn’t know I was with child until after I arrived in Philadelphia. When I didn’t hear from you, I came to believe you had used me. It was easier that way to...to justify things.” She blinked back tears, her long black lashes spiked and wet. “That is why I didn’t return, and that is why you never learned that you had a son.”
“So you admit it straight-out. Brody is mine.”
“Yes,” she said softly.
He’d known inside, but he had needed to hear it from her. For a moment he couldn’t say a thing and just let the certainty that he was Brody’s father spread through him and settle into his bones.
She met his gaze, her voice resolute. “And I never thought you weren’t good enough. That is your fears talking. Not me.”
He whipped off his hat and raked a hand through his hair. “Riley... If only I’d known... I would have helped.”
She turned away from him. “You weren’t in any position to help. You and your mother were barely making it after that fever took most of your cattle.”
“We were kids. And knowing now about my father’s interference, I understand how things happened. I... I’m not angry about it anymore.” She turned to face him. “At least...not with you.”
“You still don’t believe I cared.”
She pressed her lips together. “Not enough. You didn’t come after me.”
No, he’d been like a crazed man—angry at Rawlins for dragging him away, angry at Riley for leaving him and angry at his mother for whatever had happened with Rawlins in the first place. Then, on top of that, he’d been unsure he was right for Riley. He’d let Rawlins’s words get to him. “I can’t change the past. I wish I could.”
Finally her tears spilled over.
More than anything, he wanted to pull her to him and hold her—to comfort her as she had once comforted him so long ago. He didn’t. There was something more important, and he wanted to see her face when he said it—
“I’ll marry you now.”
Her mouth dropped open. “But...you barely know me anymore!”
“I know you, Riley. And I haven’t been able to get you off my mind since you came back. I nearly lost you up there on that hillside. That cleared things up in a heartbeat.”
She stood there absorbing his words, appearing half in shock, her face clouded with uncertainty.
Desire for her had tugged at him relentlessly since her return. He studied her upturned nose, her stormy green eyes. Between them, they’d never done anything slowly or sensibly. It had always been one wild ride. He slipped his hand behind her neck. He waited, knowing she could sense what would come next. She could pull away, but she only stared at him with a look of inevitability...and wanting.
He slammed his mouth against hers.
She trembled and her lips softened under his—and parted. She slid her hands up his back. Just like that, the need for her gripped him and would not let go. He deepened the kiss, his heart pounding in his chest.
In her throat her pulse throbbed, there where his palm touched her skin. She wanted him, too—as a woman wanted a man. He sensed it as she pressed herself against him, as her breath shuddered in her breast.
His body responded rapidly. At least it hadn’t forgotten how after being locked away for all those years. He had to get control of himself, but the softness of her lips, her skin, her warmth...he didn’t want to stop. If only she would give in to him. He’d carry her to the cabin. He’d force himself to go slowly...be gentle...
Riley pushed against his chest.
And his hopes came crashing to a halt. Reluctantly, he pulled away from her.
“Gabe... I...” she said in a stunned voice. Her chest heaved with the breath she dragged in. She put her hands to her flushed cheeks. “Gabe... Oh...” She took another step back.
He was breathing hard, too. He turned away from her in an effort to calm himself.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her words halting. “I... I didn’t expect...”
He wasn’t sorry...not for the kiss. Only sorry she seemed upset now. Finally in control, he faced her. “Make no mistake. I wanted you then and I want you now.”
“I need...time.”
“You’ve had fourteen years.”
Her small jaw tightened. “There is more going on here than just you and me. There’s Brody...and my father.”
“Your father...” he repeated slowly. Rawlins would still probably object to them being together—even more so now that Gabe had been in prison. What man would want his daughter marrying an ex-convict? And Gabe had to keep working if he was ever going to buy his land back, ever going to make any kind of a home for her and Brody. That sudden realization brought him up short. “Guess your father still holds all the cards,” he said, the words sitting like acid on his tongue. “But a boy should know who his father is.”
“I know that. It’s just...I’m not ready.”
“There will never be a perfect time,” he said, sensing that he was losing her. “We could do it together.”
She shook her head and backed away. With each step she took, her face closed off a little more. “I’m sorry, but I need more time. Come back to work if you want, Gabe, but understand...the only way you are welcome on the Golden R is as Gabe Coulter, the ranch hand.”
Something cold congealed in his gut. He’d lost. Even with the truth between them now, she didn’t want him. “That’s what you want?”
“Yes.”
He blew out the breath he’d been holding. “Then I’m not welcome at all.” He turned and walked across the yard and into the house.
* * *
Riley stared after Gabe until he closed the door. What had just happened? Was that some kind of backhanded proposal she’d just been a part of? One minute he was saying he would marry her and kissing her blind, and the next minute he was walking away! Just what had happened? All she had wanted was time...a little more time! Didn’t he understand that she was doing the best she could for Brody?
She took hold of the saddle, ready to mount and then stopped. Or...was she the one who didn’t understand?
A boy should know who his own father is. Gabe was right. What right did she have to keep it a secret from Brody? Or keep Gabe from his son for one more minute?
She collapsed against the sun-warmed leather. She didn’t want to leave things like this. She believed Gabe now...about loving her back then. And, oh, how she had loved him. Could they get back to that point? Was it even possible after all the lies and misunderstandings?
She squeezed shut her eyes. What was the right thing to do?
Time. She needed time, just as she’d told him. She climbed into the saddle, took one last look at Gabe’s small homestead and reined her horse away and down the lane.
When she arrived at the ranch she left her horse in the corral and marched straight into the house and found her father. He was eating a solitary lunch at the dining table.
“I just got back from seeing Gabe.” Her nerves were on edge with all that she’d learned.
He put his fork down. “So it’s Gabe now.”
She paced back and forth in front of him, unable to settle down. “All those years ago why did you tell me he left when in fact it was you who dragged him off?”
“You both were too young. You needed to grow up.”
“What about later? After you learned of Brody? Why have you let me believe all these years that he deserted me? Do you know how much that hurt?”
He frowned. “Nothing can change that now.”
“I still want to know why!”
He wiped his mouth with his napkin and set it on the table. “Once my men released him, Coulter didn’t come back. Even his own mother didn’t know where to contact him. A year later I learned he was working on a ranch down south—a hundred miles away—and sending money home. I left word for him to come see me, but he never did. Can’t say as I blame him. He had his pride. After that I lost track of him until I read in the newspaper that he killed that ranch owner. At that point, I didn’t see how telling the truth would help anyone.” He placed his big, gnarled hand over hers on the table. “I regret some of what happened. That’s one reason I felt compelled to hire Coulter and keep him on even when I knew you were on your way here. I know it isn’t easy for you. As for me...I don’t want to lose you again. This is a lonely old house without you and Brody.”
She would not let him sway her. How much had he stolen from Gabe...from her? She pulled her hand from his. “What happened with Gabe’s mother?”
“Ramona?”
“Gabe thinks you...and his mother... He saw you coming from the cabin.” She couldn’t say it more directly than that.
He frowned. “Now wait a minute. I checked on Ramona from time to time to make sure she didn’t need anything. Neighbors do that. I respected her.
And I respected Gerald’s memory. It was Coulter’s job, but he was hardly around.” He peered at her. “Apparently he was spending time with you.”
She glanced away, embarrassed.
His shoulders slumped. “I’ll have a talk with him...if he returns.”
Chapter Seven
Gabe didn’t come back to the ranch the next day—or the next. Brody was sure she’d said something, done something to upset him. She tried to keep herself busy, teaching Brody how to saddle a horse, how to mount and dismount, and all the while her heart was slowly breaking all over again.
She had wronged Gabe...she realized that now. And she still loved him. Her life would be only a shadow of a life without him in it. If only she could trust that Brody would be better for knowing that Gabe was his father. If only she could let down her guard and give in to what her heart wanted. Had she ruined everything by asking for a bit of time to think things through? Would he ever forgive her?
The evening of the third day, the ranch hands returned with a bevy of young calves. The entire place was in an uproar as the men prodded and maneuvered the cattle into a holding paddock behind the stable. Rosaria complained about the dust and the stink of man and beast while she hurried to feed them all.
Riley distanced herself from the commotion. She didn’t care about the ranch...not when Gabe wasn’t a part of it. Looking over the dust rising from the cattle pen as the sun set, she made up her mind. She would ride out to Gabe’s ranch and talk to him—try to convince him to come back—as soon as it was light.
On rising the next morning, Riley heard shouts and mooing. In the hall, Brody let out a whoop and then pounded on her door. “Coulter’s back!”
Jumping from her bed, she pushed aside the curtains and looked out the window. Gabe rode a black horse through the herd, cutting the young calves out and roping them. He would pull them to another, smaller holding pen where they would anxiously call for their mothers. He had rolled his shirtsleeves, and his face carried a sheen of sweat as he jumped from his mount to untangle his rope from the legs of a calf.
Western Spring Weddings Page 15
