by A. J. Pine
She wanted to not lead him on if he wanted anything more than tonight.
But God, she wanted him. Tonight. And hoped he still wanted her.
“I don’t date younger men,” she said softly but loud enough for him to hear it over the rain.
“I know,” he answered, and she noticed he hadn’t pulled away, but he hadn’t actually embraced her either.
“But I like you,” she added. “And against my better judgment I find myself wanting to kiss you.” She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’ve found myself wanting to kiss you quite a bit today, actually—and quite a bit more tonight.”
He sighed, their breath mingling in the small space between them, and Jenna wasn’t sure she could breathe anymore after that.
She shouldn’t kiss him.
He shouldn’t let her.
They shouldn’t still be touching.
But they were, his chest pressed against hers, and she could feel his heart beating just as fast as hers.
Kiss me. Good Lord, just kiss me.
“Jenna?” he said slowly, carefully.
“Colt?” she answered, unable to hide her earnestness. Her hope.
“Are you sure about this? Because there is nothing I want more—nothing I’ve wanted more since the moment I saw you in the Everett house—than to kiss you until the sun comes up. But I don’t want you to regret doing so in the morning.”
She nodded. “Will you regret it?” she asked. “If I meant what I said—that I can’t date you—but tonight I just really, really need to kiss you?” She cleared her throat. “Before you answer, I want to tell you something else—something about what this trip means for me.”
“Okay,” he said softly.
Her heart hammered in her chest, but this time it had nothing to do with thunder or lightning.
“Last night I made a list of things I want to do on this trip—a Happily-for-Now list.”
“Okay,” he said again, this time drawing out the second syllable.
“While I don’t regret anything that’s happened in my life up until now…” she continued, “…I think I realized last night that there are certain things I never got to do because I had to grow up a little sooner than expected. And, well, one of those things…” She swallowed, her throat going dry. “You know, this is really hard to ask you when we’re all tangled up like this.” She let out a nervous laugh.
He sighed, and she felt his breath warm on her cheek, which only made it harder for her to keep from smooching him right there on the spot. But she wouldn’t do that again, not without his permission—not without him signing on for what she was proposing.
“You can tell me anything, Jenna. You don’t have to be afraid.”
Her stomach tightened, not so much with need but because he was right. She barely knew him, yet she believed everything he’d just said. She felt it in her bones.
“I want to have a fling—while I’m at the ranch. I’ve never done anything like this before. No strings attached, just two people enjoying each other for the time they have, and…” She blew out a long breath. “I would like it to be with you.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see his immediate reaction because no matter what he said next, she was totally mortified for having even asked.
For a long moment he didn’t move or speak, and Jenna was sure she’d just set herself up for two weeks of awkward at the Meadow Valley Ranch. But then his leg slid up between hers, and one arm wrapped around her waist while he gently slid the other between her pillow and cheek, cradling her head in his very capable palm.
“So what you’re saying is that if I kiss you right here, right now, I’m signing myself up for getting to do it again and again over the next two weeks? No questions asked?” he said.
She opened her eyes and stared at him—stared at the nervous smile on his face.
“Have you—ever done anything like this before?”
He shook his head. “But the last time I tried the real thing, I got my heart trampled. Big time. Maybe…” He paused and licked his lips. “Maybe this is exactly what I need to ease myself back into the game. Two weeks with a beautiful woman with the guarantee that neither of us gets hurt? What could be better than that?” Then he pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. “And now you’ll know that whenever you find yourself alone in your room at the ranch and wanting to kiss me again, I won’t be too far away.”
She sucked in a breath, but before she could say another word, his lips were on hers, and she knew the second it happened that she’d made the right choice in Colt Morgan. The only question was how two weeks of something this delicious would be enough.
She couldn’t worry about that now, not when he was grabbing her thigh and pulling it over his hip. Not when she parted her lips and he slipped his tongue inside, letting her taste the need that matched her own. Not when he was pulling her shirt over her head so they were chest-to-chest, skin-to-skin, and she thought being with him, like this, until the sun came up might actually be better than breathing.
Not when she woke in the morning to a ray of bright sun streaking across Colt’s empty pillow, a warm imprint of his body in the sheet the only evidence that he’d been there with her all night, that she’d slept wrapped in his arms, safe from the storm and from any painful memories of the past or worry of a future the two of them could never have.
“Oh no,” she said out loud. Lucy—that damned psychic chicken of hers—was right yet at the same time so very, very wrong.
This was nothing more than a fling. She would not fall for him, even if she knew she could.
Chapter Eight
They’d gotten on the road earlier than Colt had expected, Maggie and Robert insisting they didn’t need help with the roof after feeding him and Jenna a generous breakfast of fresh eggs, toast made from home-baked bread, and fresh-squeezed juice. They’d even sent them off with coffee in insulated mugs.
“Just means you both have to come back,” Maggie had said before wrapping them both into warm hugs.
“You can count on it,” Colt told her. “And I’ll bring Willow next time too.”
Yesterday—last night—it felt like it had happened in some sort of alternate universe. Strangers had taken them in like they were family, had treated Jenna and Colt like they were their own children. And then Jenna…
He’d almost lost a finger changing the SUV’s tire because he was thinking about Jenna Owens’s lips instead of making sure the jack was secure.
Even now, two hours into their drive while Jenna dozed with her head against the window and Lucy scuffled around in her travel coop in the back, he couldn’t think about anything else.
All she wanted was a fling, and he’d agreed to it, but she’d kissed him like she needed his lips more than air in her lungs, and he’d been more than okay with that. What he wasn’t okay with was how much he wanted to do it again knowing that they were already on borrowed time.
Maybe her hang-up about letting things go any further than her stay at the ranch wasn’t that he was younger. The distance between thirty and forty wasn’t that big. Maybe it was the physical distance between them. But he was back and forth between Meadow Valley and the Oak Bluff area as much as he could be, whenever Willow was in town. So if that was what was holding her back, it wasn’t an issue.
But if that was what held her back, Jenna could have just said it. She hadn’t.
Good Lord, he was overthinking one spectacular night with one hell of a spectacular woman whom he’d only just met yesterday.
Get a grip, Morgan. You’ve got two weeks with her still. This is your chance to get out of the woods, to prep yourself for the real thing, which you will find someday.
She stirred in the passenger seat, and Colt held his breath as if that could keep her from waking up. Other than superficial pleasantries—Good morning. Need any help loading the bags. I’ll go get Lucy—they hadn’t said a word about the night before, and he was beginning to wonder if she was having se
cond thoughts—if they even had those two weeks after all.
They truly had kissed and touched and everything they could think of other than sleeping together until close to dawn. They’d doze and wake and start kissing again, and it was quite possibly the most intimate experience he’d had in years.
Colt never spent the night in a woman’s bed and never brought one home to sleep in his. He always had the ranch as an excuse to put his pants on and get back home. Not that he was proud of one-night stands, but they were always consensual. And he always knew, in the back of his mind, protecting his heart had been the reason behind that excuse.
But Jenna Owens…He’d signed on for two weeks, no questions asked, convincing himself it would be enough, yet here he was silently agonizing over the thought of her changing her mind.
She sighed and stretched, interrupting his thoughts.
She was still wearing the white T-shirt she’d slept in with the cutoff denim shorts that, yesterday, were caked with mud. But thanks to Maggie and Robert, they were now no worse for the wear.
He itched to reach over and tuck her hair behind her ear, but he held fast to the steering wheel.
“Mmm,” she hummed, her eyes fluttering open beneath her sunglasses. “The sun and the rhythm of the ride just lull me right off to sleep. You must be bored out of your mind—or happy as hell I’m not awake to bug you.”
He shook his head. “Neither,” he said coolly, hoping nothing about his tone or demeanor gave away that he’d been thinking about kissing her for every minute she’d been asleep. “You getting hungry? We can stop for a quick lunch in another hour or so. I know this great diner in Yuba City. Best club sandwich you ever had. And if you like milkshakes…”
Jenna turned to him and slid her glasses down to the tip of her nose so that when he glanced in her direction, he could see her wide-open bright blue eyes focused right on him.
“I wasn’t hungry at all, but then you said the magic word. Now all I’ll think about until we get to Yuba City is whether I’m in the mood for a strawberry shake, a chocolate shake, or both. Do you think they’ll do a half and half? Or maybe two half-sized shakes? Or maybe—”
He chuckled, and she straightened in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I didn’t realize my love of all things ice cream was so amusin’,” she said.
He loved the way her accent dropped the g from amusing.
He shook his head. “It’s not your love of ice cream,” he mused. “It’s the way you love ice cream, or home-baked cookies, or your unconventional pet back there…” He nodded toward the back of the vehicle. “Or, I’m guessing, everything. It’s so—big.”
He guessed by the generous gift her nephews gave her—two weeks at the ranch—that she was the same with her family, and that only made him like her more, which wasn’t what he was looking to do.
Her shoulders relaxed, and she was smiling again.
“I love what I love,” she said with a shrug. “And you’re right. When I do love something, I’m all in. I love with my whole damned heart. I don’t see the point in doing it any other way, do you?” She gasped.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing!” She grinned. “It’s just—my list! One of the items on my list is to eat the best ice cream in town. Since we’re hitting Yuba City before Meadow Valley, that means I get to check it off my list twice.” She cleared her throat. “That is—assuming there’s spectacular ice cream in your neck of the woods as well.”
Colt nodded. “Sure is. I’ll see to it you don’t leave town without getting that second checkmark.”
He blew out a breath and kept his eyes on the road. Okay. She brought up the list. That meant he could check in, right? Make sure she still wanted to do what she said she wanted to do? Because he wasn’t going to last the rest of the way to Yuba City if he didn’t address the elephant in the room. And considering the room was the front seat of an SUV, that elephant was taking up a hell of a lot of space.
“I should have waited until you were awake before leaving the room this morning,” he said.
Her body shifted so she was staring straight ahead as well.
“It’s all right,” she said matter-of-factly. “We laid everything on the table last night. Wasn’t like there was anything to discuss.”
“So you still want to do this,” he said, motioning between them. “The—uh—fling? Because if you changed your mind…”
Jenna sat silent for a long moment, and he braced himself for her reaction. If she wanted to forget the whole thing—to chalk it up to the storm and the forced proximity of sharing the bed—he’d let things be. He wouldn’t enjoy it, but he’d respect her wishes.
She let out a nervous laugh. “I thought you’d changed your mind, which is why I wasn’t saying anything. Because if you have, that’s okay.”
He laughed too. “Clearly we are both clueless here, so let me be the first to say that in the not-so-cold light of day, I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the next two weeks than being able to kiss you again whenever I feel like it—with your permission, of course.”
“Of course,” she said. “That’s how flings work. We enjoy each other physically and leave all the emotional stuff at the door.”
Colt’s jaw tightened. “So—I don’t get to know you, even a little bit?” He wasn’t expecting her to reveal the most intimate details of her life, but a fling involved more than just the bedroom, didn’t it?
“You know I love ice cream and that it’s part of my list. Heck, you know about the list. I didn’t even tell my nephews about that. Then again, I didn’t make the list until the party was over and everyone was in bed, but that’s beside the point.”
She pivoted to face him, and he could see her arms cross again. He realized they were her safety barrier. A wall she could put between them.
But Colt was crafty. He could climb walls.
“Jenna…I’m not sure you and I are on the same page with the whole fling definition,” he said, keeping his voice even so as not to spook her into thinking he wanted too much more than what she was proposing. But talking like this—with him staring out the windshield and her staring at him—wasn’t working.
He moved onto the shoulder of the road, slowing to a stop and then shifting the car to park. He undid his seat belt and shifted to face her.
“What are you doing?” she asked, pressing her body up against the passenger-side door, her hand on the handle. Her eyes were wide with what looked like terror. Not the terror of thunder crashing and making her jump into his arms but bone-chilling fear, like she was afraid of him.
He reached a hand toward her, and she flinched, shrinking back even further.
Then it clicked.
Colt survived the foster care system but not without getting placed with one family who never should have been allowed to foster in the first place. His only saving grace was that when his foster brother took a swing at him, Colt was big enough to swing back.
“Who hit you, Jenna?” he asked softly, though inside he was boiling with rage.
She didn’t move for several seconds. She just watched him, watched his hand lower into his lap, watched him wait without pushing her to proceed. Not if she didn’t want to.
Finally, she let out a long, shaky breath.
“The last guy I dated. When I told him something he didn’t want to hear.”
Shit. The only time Colt had ever raised his fist to another man was when that man raised his first. But right now he wanted to hunt down whoever dared lay a finger on Jenna Owens with anything other than love and care.
He shouldn’t have pushed. He should have just taken what she was offering.
“Jenna,” he said softly. Carefully. “I will never, ever hurt you. No matter what you say. No matter what you do. No matter what you want today, tomorrow, or ten years from now. I will never hurt you. Okay?”
She nodded, then swiped at a tear as it fell below the frame of her sunglasses.
&nbs
p; “All I was going to propose was us getting to know each other a little better, but if that’s too much for you, I’ll back off. I don’t think it’s any secret, though, that I like you. And I think…” He raised his brows, and the corner of her mouth turned up. “I think you like me, too, or at least find me tolerable enough. We can leave the emotional baggage at the door, but I think it’s okay to at least share things like loving ice cream.”
She lifted her shoulder in a small shrug. “Or cookies?”
He nodded. “Especially cookies—toffee shortbread cookies to be precise. How about this?” he asked. “If you share the list with me, I’ll help you check everything off. That way, when we’re not enjoying each other—um—physically, we’ll have something to fill our time without pushing the boundaries of emotional connection.”
It would be a win-win, wouldn’t it? Having specific tasks to conquer would keep them from getting too close or getting attached.
Jenna’s posture relaxed, and she finally let go of the door handle.
“You’d be willing to do all that for me?” she asked, still sounding hesitant.
“Yep.”
“Do you promise not to laugh at the list if I show it to you?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. Then she reached into the back seat where her backpack was and pulled something out. When she turned to face him again, she was holding a leather-bound journal of some sort.
“Swear on it—on the book containing the list,” she said.
He chuckled, then placed his right hand on the journal and held up his left. “I, Colt Morgan, do hereby swear not only that I will help you check all the items off your list, but that I will refrain from laughing at the items written on said list as well.”
She gave him a satisfied grin and yanked the journal away, pressing it against her chest.
“And now our agreement is binding,” she said. “You’re a smart man, Mr. Morgan. I assume you know there will be penalties should you break the rules and laugh at or mock my list in any way.”
He raised a brow. “You didn’t say anything about mocking…”
