by Sophia Gray
I finally shut off the water and pulled one of the towels down from the shower curtain rod. As I dried myself first standing in the shower, I noticed I could see Cole through the cracked bathroom door.
Instead of lying there staring at me, the way I imagined so many men would have, he rested peacefully with his hands behind his head. I gasped when I noticed that he was shirtless, but I felt a surge of desire when I gazed at his naked chest and wanted to run my hands over it. I didn’t have time for these feelings and desires right now. He was being so kind and helpful, and he didn’t even know me. It struck me as funny how I’d been looking for adventure, but the dangerous-looking tattooed biker was turning out to be my safety net from the danger my ex was putting me in with my son.
I wrapped my towel around my body and grabbed the other towel for my hair. I dried it first and then wrapped it in the towel, pulling it up away from my shoulders and back. I stepped out of the tub and realized I’d left my bag in the other room with Cole. I opened the door a little further and reached out to grab it.
He looked at me and smiled. He didn’t say anything; I figured he could tell I was going right back into the bathroom. I made sure I closed the door all the way the second time and locked it.
I wiped the fog off the mirror so I could see myself better. I stared at the stress and worry written all over my face. I looked so tired. I figured it was only because I had someone strong standing behind me, helping to hold me up. I stood there for a few minutes and stared into my own eyes before dropping my towel to the floor.
I stared at my pale skin. I couldn’t help but think about the tattoo Cole wanted to do for me so badly. I didn’t see anywhere on my front where I wanted a tattoo to go, so I turned to the side and thought about where I would want one to go. I didn’t see anywhere to put one on my sides either. I tried to imagine my body covered in colorful tattoos like Cole’s, but I couldn’t see that for me yet. I couldn’t even imagine a small one on me let alone full sleeves or a chest piece.
I figured that I’d probably have a better idea once we got through the situation with Micah. I tried to comfort myself by telling myself that at least Micah was with his father. Troy wouldn’t have done anything to endanger his son – our son. At least there was that.
I pulled on a tank top I had grabbed from my closet and slid my panties on. I pulled up the pair of pajama shorts I brought with me as well. I wasn’t comfortable enough with him yet to be walking around in front of him naked or just in my underwear. Sex wasn’t even part of the equation yet. And with crazy shit like this going on, I wasn’t sure if he’d ever get to the point where he wanted to sleep with me. I couldn’t have blamed him if he didn’t. I came with baggage.
“Did you have a good shower?” he asked when I finally walked out of the bathroom.
“Yeah, it was nice and hot,” I told him.
He lay on the opposite side of the bed from the bathroom, and I got the impression that he was claiming that as his side of the bed. I hadn’t been aware that by inviting me to stay at the clubhouse, he was actually inviting me to share a bed with him. It would be nice to sleep next to someone’s warm body though. One of the hardest parts of my divorce was getting used to sleeping in an empty bed.
He rolled onto his side, facing me as I dumped my dirty clothes into my bag. He was gorgeous with his ripped chest and abs. His muscles weren’t huge or anything like that, but they were very well-defined. He took care of himself when he wasn’t sitting in a chair at his shop inking people.
He had more tattoos on his chest, too. A couple of tribal designs carried over from his upper arms to cover a portion of his chest. He also had a few smaller pieces that seemed to come together in a larger theme, but I couldn’t tell what they were from where I was standing.
He rubbed the empty side of the bed, inviting me to join him. I felt safe with Cole. I knew he wasn’t going to try anything, but I felt a little too vulnerable around him, as if what little guard I had was in danger of coming down completely.
“I don’t bite,” he encouraged me, sensing my hesitation. “I mean, not unless you want me to, but I’d honestly rather leave other marks behind,” he added with a grin.
“Yeah, I know.” I smiled at how clever he thought he was being and climbed into the bed.
What the hell, it’s not going to hurt to let someone close to me.
I lay down next to him, and he held his arm out for me to scoot closer to him. I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression by exploring his tattoos. I didn’t want to lead myself on by allowing myself to explore his flesh. He held his arm up for what must have been forever while he waited for me to make a decision.
I realized my first impression had been my hesitation, my reluctance to make spontaneous decisions. He was probably used to it and trying to accommodate my slow decision-making process. At the same time, he was quietly urging me over against his chest.
I finally slid across to him, and he put his arm down around me. His warmth and scent surrounded me, comforting me. I breathed him in and nuzzled up against the bare skin to be closer to him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked in a low, soothing voice.
“I’m okay,” I lied. I was trying to stay focused on him, trying to hold it together for this beautiful stranger holding me close in his bed. I didn’t want to run him off.
“You don’t have to be strong with me,” Cole said.
And that was all it took, to be given permission to feel what I was feeling without feeling ashamed of my emotions. The tears started to flow. I cried into his strong, protective arms. He squeezed me tighter, holding me against his chest while I sobbed.
“That’s okay. Let it out.” He stroked my hair with one hand and held me by my arm with his other arm around my back.
I curled up in his embrace. I balled my fists up with the intensity of my emotions and pressed them against his chest. I clenched my fists as tightly as I could from the anger at my ex and at the men who destroyed my house, but I cried mostly for my son. I wanted to scream, but I could only sob. My body shook with my sobbing.
The harder I cried, the tighter he held me. He was protecting me, taking care of me. And he was only the tattoo artist I’d just met a few days before. But I started to feel like he could have been more, like he wanted to be more.
“I want to believe he’s safe with Troy,” I spoke through sobs. “I really do.”
“But…” he said again, reaching for the contradiction.
“But if the person chasing him down did that to the house, I don’t know if I can feel safe with him being alone with his father. What happens if Troy’s partner catches up with them?”
“You can’t think like that. You have to stay positive while you do what you can to get Micah back in your custody.”
“If I don’t think like that, who will?”
His arms tightened around me again. “That’s what guys like me are here for,” he assured me. “I’ll make it my business to make sure your boy is returned home safely.”
I unclenched my fists and wiped my eyes. I looked up into his sculpted face and saw that he was genuine. He meant what he was saying to me. It was written in his eyes.
“You really don’t have to,” I told him. “We called the cops. They’re on it.”
“Don’t hold your breath waiting on them to handle it for you. I can probably find your ex and son faster than they can. I have a lot less paperwork and bureaucracy to deal with than the cops do.”
Still, I wasn’t sure. Letting Cole handle it outside of the law seemed risky for everyone. It did seem like he’d be able to handle it faster than the police though. If my ex were involved in illegal businesses, someone like Cole would probably have more direct access to the kinds of people Troy dealt with.
“This was not what I was thinking when I said I wanted my life to be more adventurous,” I thought out loud.
Cole laughed. It was an honest laugh, as if my comment had caught him off guard. He leaned in and kissed m
y forehead. It was a gentle, safe kiss. He probably meant it to comfort me, but instead, I felt it awaken all of my desire for him. Suddenly I wanted him, and my body ached to have him.
I turned around and pulled his arms around me. If I had continued to face him, there was no telling what I would have done. I pressed my back against him, keeping a space between my hips and his.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Was that bad?”
“Just hold me,” I replied, ignoring the answer to his question.
The answer was: No, that wasn’t bad. That was great, actually. I want to feel your lips on mine. I want to taste your breath in your kiss. I want your hands to grab me, to possess me, and I want you inside of me, making me yours. I don’t want this to turn into a game where we have to guess each other’s intentions and desires. I want you to know what I want from you, and I want to know the same. I didn’t think we were quite to that point yet, regardless of how I felt.
I sighed as I pushed the answer down. I held his hands in mine, intertwining our fingers over my stomach. His touch was both comforting and thrilling. I felt safe, but I also felt a surge of electricity flowing underneath my skin, all through my body. I closed my eyes to it, trying to ignore it.
It wasn’t late. It wasn’t even dark out. I just needed the quiet comfort of being in a peaceful man’s arms. Then my phone rang, ruining the peace and quiet of the moment.
My eyes shot open, and my body jumped as I let go of Cole and reached for my phone, which was in my jeans pocket in the bag on the floor. I frantically searched for the pocket and pulled it out.
“That’s Troy’s ringtone,” I explained to Cole while I searched for the phone. “It could be Micah.”
“Okay, I understand,” he said. He didn’t try to hold me back or stop me from grabbing my phone.
“Hello?” I answered out of breath after I finally got the phone out of my jeans.
“Hey, calm down. It’s just me,” Troy said. “I wanted to call and let you know that we’re safe. Micah is okay; it’s just a little stomach bug. The nurse said it’s going around right now.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “You had me worried there for a minute.”
“No need to worry. We’re going to stay up here for a few days to let the virus and the storm pass. Do you want to talk to him?”
“Yes, of course,” I said, trying not to snap his head off and cause more trouble.
I shot Cole a look. I hoped to convey how hopeful and excited I was to hear my son’s voice. Instead, I probably looked scared or crazy.
“Hi, Mom,” I heard Micah say, and all my anxiety and fear melted.
Chapter Eight
Cole
“Feeling better today?” I asked Lilah after the alarm on my phone went off to wake us up. I had stretched and hugged her close to me again.
“I don’t know yet. Wait until I’ve had my coffee,” she croaked out, sitting up on her elbows on the bed.
“There’s coffee downstairs in the common room,” I told her. “But what I’m talking about is since you got to talk to your son last night.”
“Yeah, that was nice. Now I know he’s safe.” Her face lit up a little bit when I mentioned her conversation with Micah the night before.
Her ex had checked in to let her know they were safe, which I thought was odd for someone who seemed to be the source of so much stress for her. Unless, of course, he had called solely for the purpose of letting her talk to her boy. I felt like that made more sense.
“Why do you ask?” she asked, yawning and stretching on her back on the bed.
Her body was so delicious, especially early in the morning. I wanted it. I wanted to see it out of those clothes. I wanted to touch her tender white skin with my hands and my lips. I hadn’t said anything, and I hadn’t wanted to make a move on her until she knew her son was safe. I had wanted to give her at least the night to adjust to everything before I said anything to her about staying at the clubhouse.
“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” I told her.
“That doesn’t sound ominous at all,” she said, rolling over and looking me in the face.
I smiled. I wasn’t in the mood for jokes really. I wanted to be serious with her. For me, what I had to say was serious business. Stipulations needed to be put in place in order for her to stay at the clubhouse. There were things that had to happen.
“Last night was on me,” I told her. “You didn’t have anywhere to go. I had to provide you somewhere safe.”
As I spoke, I watched the emotion on her face change. It slowly dawned on her what I was about to say, and she already didn’t like what she was about to hear. I knew there was a possibility that she’d run once I put the conditions in front of her, but she really didn’t have anywhere else to go. I didn’t see her running.
“But if I stay?” she asked me, trying to get me to the point.
“If you stay, there are some stipulations.”
“Yeah, I should have known. I didn’t think anyone was really that good-hearted. What do you want me to do to stay here?” she asked.
“I want you in my bed every night,” I started.[LC3]
“I was going to ask if I got a private room, or how that worked,” she admitted.
“No, you don’t get a private room. You’re staying with me.”
“Does that mean you want sex every night? Does it mean you’re going to demand that I perform certain sexual acts with you every night?” She almost sounded eager when she asked the last question, like she wanted me to answer yes and wanted to hear me command her sexually.
“I do want you to give yourself to me when you’re ready,” I told her.
She looked at me with a little of her typical reluctance in her eyes. I could see her struggling with my demands. It looked like she wanted to reject it, but part of her really wanted to be okay with it.
“Is there anything else?” she finally asked.
“Yes. I want you in my chair at the shop. I want to tattoo your body.”
“I don’t have a choice, do I?”
“You do. You drove over here yesterday so you can leave at any time. I’m not going to hold you against your will. If you don’t want to give yourself to me or to let me use you as a blank canvas, you can leave at any time.”
She took a deep, shaky breath. She looked like she was trying to rush herself to an answer.
“You don’t have to answer me now,” I assured her. “I’ll give you the day today. I’ve got to go to work, and you have until I get back tonight to decide, okay?”
She nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll have an answer for you when you get home.”
I wanted to lean over and give her a kiss before I got up to leave for work, but I didn’t think she would find it appropriate after putting my stipulations on her the way I did. I climbed out of bed and started getting ready to go to work. She didn’t say anything while I got ready. She sat quietly and seemed to be thinking about what I’d told her while I got ready.
When I came out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to leave, she still lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She acted as though she didn’t notice me as I walked through the room. I grabbed my boots from the floor on the other side of the bed and slid them on my feet. She lay there silently the whole time, not saying anything. She didn’t even breathe heavily.
“Anything you need is downstairs,” I told her. “There are drinks at the bar, and there is a kitchen with anything else you might need. If you have any questions about anything, talk to Mick. He’s the big guy behind the bar with the big beard.”
“Yeah, I think I can manage,” she said flatly, not even looking at me to acknowledge that we were talking.
“I’ll see you tonight,” I said, walking out of the room and pulling the door closed behind me. If she’d said anything else, I didn’t hear it.
I went downstairs and hopped on my bike. I felt like there should have been some guilt over springing my conditions on her as suddenly as I had, but I did
n’t feel any. I justified it to myself by thinking that since she said she wanted something more exciting, I’d show her what being with a member of the Steel Devils was all about. If she stayed at the clubhouse, she had to give me a reason to let her continue staying there.
I felt like my expectations were perfectly reasonable, considering.
When I pulled up to the tattoo parlor, I noticed that the frame of the door was dented and the glass was scratched. It looked like someone had been trying to get in overnight. I wondered if it was the same guy who had ransacked Lilah’s house. It didn’t seem likely that they would have known I was involved in her, but I didn’t believe in coincidences. Stuff like this didn’t just coincidentally happen. Usually, when things like this happened back-to-back, no matter how connected the places were, the actions were usually related.
