by Sophia Gray
I was afraid of who I was becoming when I was with Enzo, pure and simple. Pulling off the silk robe had really made me realize it: it didn’t matter what he said about clothing. I got that he had a point about the office—thinking about embarrassing him with my sartorial decisions made me feel horrible—but if we were going to be together, I was going to keep my clothes.
“That’s right, Pep,” I told her as we waited on the frigid “L” platform for the next train. It was so cold that, for a moment, I’d regretted my decision to leave Enzo’s toasty condo. I wish I could have called a cab, but I didn’t want to spend any money. Not knowing how much longer I’d have a job was definitely taking a toll on me.
Pepper wagged her tail, then sat down and whined at the cold platform. I winced and reached down, stroking her soft fur with my gloved hand. As I stamped my feet, I checked the timetable—the nearest train was still twenty minutes away. It was sometime after midnight, and I was lucky that I’d managed to catch the last one at all.
Even though it would probably take me over an hour to get home, I was glad that I’d left. I didn’t want Enzo to wake up, and I cringed when I thought of his reaction to the clothes. After all, I didn’t think what I’d done was gracious. Another girl, probably any other girl, would have taken the clothes. But I didn’t want to let Enzo, the man I loved, change who I was inside. I didn’t want to become mean and superficial like Karen or those other girls he’d slept with. After all, if he liked me for me, he’d understand that.
Assuming that he likes you and you’re not just another notch on his bedpost. Haven’t you ever heard about virgin fetish? I shuddered as the small voice in my head popped up, determined to undermine how I was feeling. I hated that I couldn’t think anything without doubting myself. I envied Enzo—that didn’t seem like a problem that he ever struggled with. He was the kind of guy who didn’t let anything faze him. Or at least, not that he showed.
Pepper rubbed against my legs. She was cold, and I felt guilty, but there was nowhere else to go. After sunset, the Loop usually got pretty deserted. Only rich people like Enzo could afford to live downtown, and most people who worked in the office buildings went home to their suburbs or other neighborhoods.
It felt eerie, almost like a ghost town. I’d rarely been downtown past closing hour, and it was definitely the first time I’d taken the late train by myself. I knew that I shouldn’t be afraid—after all, my weekly shifts at Helping Hands were probably more dangerous than anything else—but the crime rate in Chicago had skyrocketed as of late. Suddenly, I was nervous that I wouldn’t even make it home.
Pepper whined again. “I know, girl, you didn’t have dinner, but we’ll have some meatballs when we get home, okay?” She whimpered, rubbing her face against my legs. I rubbed my hands together; my fingers were starting to go numb even in my fleece gloves. As I looked out over the tracks, there was a weird scraping noise, seemingly from underneath the platform. I jumped a foot in the air. Suddenly, I was actually scared. I wanted to go home. Hell, I didn’t just want to go home, I wanted to be with Enzo. A lump swelled up in my throat as I thought of him, warm and snuggled in his bed, not four blocks from where I stood.
“It’s okay, Pepper,” I said nervously. “We’re going to be okay.” She barked, and I felt a slight surge of confidence—maybe whoever was out there wouldn’t want to mess with me knowing that I had a dog. As she got up and paced around me in a little circle, I strained and listened in vain for the sound again.
The air was silent. My nose tingled with the cold, and when I looked up into the inky black sky, I saw tiny flakes of snow coming down towards my face. Great, I thought sourly. That’s just awesome. Now I’ll be a brick of ice by the time the train gets here. Maybe Pepper can drag me onboard.
Stamping my feet in a useless effort to warm up, I finally saw a flicker of light all the way at the end of the platform. As the train approached, the platform shook and quivered with the weight of the train. Gratefully, I took off my gloves and started to blow on my frozen hands. They were so cold that my breath felt like an icy blast and I cried out in pain, shoving my hands deep into the pockets of my jumper.
When the doors of the train opened, I hurled myself inside. It was hot and sour-smelling—there was a homeless person curled up on the bench across from me—but I was so grateful to be out of the cold that I didn’t even mind. Pepper curled up on thebench and rested her head on my lap. Closing my eyes, I relaxed and let my head thump against the window. I didn’t want to watch as the train pulled out of the station and away from Enzo. I couldn’t bear it.
Shifting in my seat, I wondered if he’d be unhappy with me for leaving. He was both possessive and controlling. Oddly, I didn’t mind as long as I could exercise some degree of autonomy. I wasn’t going to change my life for Enzo, but I didn’t mind a little domination in the bedroom.
Pepper whined. “Hush,” I said softly. “It’s not my fault that thinking about him makes me so hot and bothered.” She whined and thumped her tail against the seat. “I know, girl,” I said as I rubbed her ears. “I know. It’s late. We’ll be home soon.”
As the “L” train hurtled through the darkness, carrying me up and away from the city, I felt a strange sense of calm blanket my limbs. There were so many mornings that I’d seen women, still clad in evening clothes with lipstick clinging to their mouths, struggling on the train. I was finally one of them. I was finally one of those girls who stayed out all night at a guy’s place and then returned home in the wee hours of the morning.
Even though it was miserable and cold outside, I could tell that it was just before dawn. I didn’t entirely feel good about my revelation. For all the happiness that Enzo brought me, I still wasn’t sure that I’d be able to do a good job maintaining my life without him.
We screeched to a stop, and my stomach froze. The homeless man across the aisle from me didn’t even stir as the lights on the train blinked on and off. Suddenly, I felt just afraid as I had back on the platform. Chicago at night was an entirely different creature than Chicago during the safe daylight hours, and I couldn’t wait until I was home and snuggled on the couch with Pepper. It was almost daylight, which meant that I could maybe shower and nap for an hour or so before going into work.
The train finally reached Pilsen, and I gently pushed Pepper off the bench as we exited the train. The first pinky-gray streaks of dawn were starting in a far-off corner of the sky, and I closed my eyes and breathed in deep. I was too far away from Lake Michigan to smell anything fresh, but it smelled like home all the same. My home, where there wasn’t a single silk item in the whole apartment. I grinned to myself as Pepper and I jogged up the stairs. Sure, it wasn’t Enzo’s luxe high-rise, but it was what we knew.
Pepper barked and growled, stopping dead in her tracks as I took my keys out. I looked down and saw that the fur on the back of her neck was sticking straight up.
“Girl, what’s wrong?” I asked in a soothing tone. I reached down to stroke her, and she tensed again, growling and backing away from the door. “Pepper? Did something happen?”
Frowning, I looked at the door. Everything looked fine—it hadn’t been broken, or jammed open. Still, a sense of fright and unease descended over me. Pepper never acted up unless something was really wrong. What did she know that I didn’t?
“Pepper, come on,” I insisted. “Stop being such a silly goose. You’re coming with me girl, okay?” She dug her paws into the wooden landing and refused to move, growling and barking sharply. I winced. “Pepper, hush!” I scolded her. “We have neighbors!” My mouth went dry, and my heart started to beat faster in my chest as I slowly pushed the door open. For a moment, everything looked fine.
Then my eyes adjusted and I let out a scream of fright. The inside of my apartment had been completely ransacked. The kitchen was a mess—all of the doors to the pantry were open, and everything had been pulled out and tossed on the floor. I felt shocked, like someone had poured a bucket of ice water over my head. Pepper gr
owled again, and I gripped her leash tighter, pulling her inside the door with me.
“Hello?” I called loudly. My voice trembled and I cursed myself—I was the least intimidating woman out there! “Hello? Who’s there?”
There was no answer as I slowly slipped into the house, treading as lightly as I possibly could on the floor. Pepper strained and tugged at the leash. She pulled me into the living room, and I let out a small gasp. It was completely destroyed, even more so than the kitchen had been. The couch had been ripped apart—stuffing and slashed cushions littered the floor—and my TV was broken and smoking on the ground. I winced as I trod over some broken glass. It crunched under my boots, sending a scary tremor through my body.
I bit my lip as tears welled up in my eyes. My whole apartment was ruined! What the hell was I supposed to do now? Taking a deep breath, I pulled out my cell phone. Enzo was the last person I wanted to call, but I knew he was the only one I could turn to.
Pepper barked as I dialed his number.
“I know you don’t like him, Pep, but we don’t have a lot of options right now,” I said to her as I braced the phone between my shoulder and my cheek.
Pepper growled in response.
Chapter Nineteen
Enzo
I was having some kind of amazingly lusty dream. In my sleep, I reached out for Audrey, expecting her warm, supple body to be right there next to mine in the big bed.
My eyes flew open when I only groped cool silk and the comforter.
“Shit,” I muttered. Where the hell did she go?
Climbing out of bed, I pulled a robe on and stalked into the living room. I knew that it would be empty before I got there, but seeing the confirmation only made my heart sink. She was gone. Her mutt, Pepper, was gone, too. One of my solid gold serving bowls was on the floor with some water and crumbs in it, and I rolled my eyes. Fucking Audrey. Of course she’d pull down a three-thousand-dollar dish and use it for her goddamned mutt.
“Audrey?” I called out. “Audrey. Where are you?”
Balling my hands into fists, I stalked through the apartment and looked for her. She was gone. She’d left, and taken the pooch with her. In the bathroom, I flicked on the light and gazed at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. I needed to moisturize and get a haircut, but somehow, I knew that wasn’t the reason why she’d left.
A feeling of discontent came over me, and I whirled into the dressing room. Sure enough, Audrey’s dowdy clothes were gone, and the silk bra and panties were on the floor. I rolled my eyes as I snatched them up and stuffed them in the bag. I’d sent one of my personal assistants on a shopping spree after giving her Audrey’s size, and she’d spent close to twenty thousand dollars at some new boutique. Bags littered the floor. I picked one up and read the label: RH Shoes.
“Goddamn it, Audrey,” I mumbled, dropping the bag on the floor and kicking it to the side. I couldn’t believe she’d done that. What was her fucking damage? I took her out to a nice meal, took her home and fucked her and gave her amazing new clothes, and she left? What kind of woman did that? I’d never been with a girl who didn’t positively leap at the prospect of new clothes.
She was a strange woman, alright. I set my jaw in a thin line and went back to the bathroom, turning on the shower and letting hot water gush down. With a sigh, I looked out the window. The sky was streaked with the first beginnings of the new day, and I felt like I’d barely slept at all. My muscles were slightly sore from fucking Audrey so thoroughly, and I was regretting the fact that I’d eaten red meat and drunk so much wine on a weeknight. I normally didn’t get hangovers, but lately, the lack of stress and sleep had gotten to be almost too much.
The hot water felt soothing, almost calming on my head. I closed my eyes and ran my head under the spray, letting the water wash away all thoughts of Audrey. Mmm, Audrey. Audrey in the shower, wet and naked and pliable, all for me. My cock stiffened, and I hesitated for a moment before reaching down and wrapping my hand around the shaft. It felt good to stroke myself, though not nearly as good as Audrey’s pussy, and I closed my eyes, thinking of her delectable body. I was angry with her, but that somehow only made the moment hotter, and before I knew it, I was coming and bracing myself against the thick glass walls of my shower.
I didn’t feel any better when I got out of the shower. I couldn’t explain it. Most of the time, when a girl left without asking, I was fucking thrilled. I didn’t love having to kick women out. Hell, I couldn’t even believe that I’d fallen asleep with Audrey after sex. So why was I so fucking mad?
Scowling, I walked into the bedroom as I toweled myself off. Audrey’s robe was folded messily on the bed, and I rolled my eyes. Of course, she had to be such a fucking martyr that she couldn’t even accept a gift. Of course.
As I was pulling on a pair of boxers and a fresh shirt, my phone started to buzz on the nightstand. I frowned. Back in the early days of LennoxCo, getting phone calls at five in the morning had been part of the routine. I hadn’t even minded; hell, most of the time I’d slept at the office anyway. But things weren’t like that anymore. Now it was pretty typical for me to leave for the day and not hear anything new from work.
When I stepped closer, I saw that it was Audrey’s number. Of course. She wanted to call and apologize and tell me that she just isn’t that kind of girl, blah, blah, blah. I debated not answering, watching the phone light up and buzz across the nightstand. I should just ignore her from now on. That would serve her right.
I felt almost disappointed when Missed Call showed up, and the phone stopped ringing. With a smirk, I walked over to the dresser and pulled a fresh pair of pants from my drawer. If Audrey had to put on such a self-righteous act about the clothes and the food, she could find someone else to do it with. I wasn’t going to put up with that shit, not from her.
I whipped my head around when I heard my phone start to buzz again. I frowned. It wasn’t like Audrey to call more than once. Frustration welled up inside of my chest as I walked over and ripped the phone out of the charger.
“What?” I demanded into the receiver. “What the fuck, Audrey? Can’t you just apologize at work like a fucking normal person?”
She didn’t answer. I only heard the breathy sound of her sobs.
“Enzo,” Audrey finally said in a broken, raspy voice. “Enzo, someone broke into my apartment.”
A chill flooded my body. “I’ll be right there,” I snapped. “Don’t go anywhere, you hear me?”
Twenty minutes later, I was in the back of a car racing across town. The sky had fully lightened, and the city was starting to wake up to the morning—homeless people were dragging their shopping carts full of possessions across the streets, and the first commuters were blearily approaching “L” stations, clutching briefcases and economy-sized containers of coffee.
I closed my eyes and willed the driver to go faster, but we kept getting caught at one red light after another. My mind was racing. I couldn’t believe that someone would have attacked Audrey. Then again, she lived in a shitty neighborhood. It was possible that whoever broke in had absolutely nothing to do with LennoxCo. But I wouldn’t know until I saw it for myself.
Audrey and her mutt, Pepper, were standing outside. She was wearing her pink parka and her usually pale face was red from the cold and from tears. She reached up to wipe a tear away from her eyes as I ran out of the car and stood in front of her.
“We got home,” Audrey began in a shaky voice, “and Pepper was making a fuss, and I didn’t know what was bothering her because she never growls or barks like that! And she didn’t want me to go inside, but I dragged her anyway…” Audrey hiccupped, and her voice broke.
When I realized that she was trembling, I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. Even though she was wearing that ridiculous marshmallow jacket, her frame felt thin and vulnerable in my strong arms. The dog whined and howled as I hugged Audrey, but I didn’t let her go.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” I said firmly. “We’ll che
ck it out together, okay? And we’ll make sure you don’t have to come back here.”
Audrey blinked and swallowed hard. Her tongue darted out of her mouth and nervously licked her lips. “Okay,” she said in a shaky voice. “Here, take Pepper.” She held the leash out to me. “She’ll bark if you’re in danger.”
I rolled my eyes. Pepper was a fat mutt who looked like she wouldn’t even be able to scare off a squirrel, much less a bunch of rabid burglars. “It’s fine,” I said. “You keep her. I’ll be right back.”
Swallowing hard, I pushed my way into the apartment. It was a complete mess—it looked like someone had broken in and destroyed literally everything in sight. When I heard a noise behind me, I turned around to see Audrey standing there.
“I told you to stay outside,” I growled out in a low tone. “Don’t you ever fucking listen?”
Audrey blushed. “I feel safer with you,” she said softly. She still had her hand clamped tightly around the mutt’s leash. “And Pepper was cold.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled, turning around and sweeping my gaze over the kitchen. “It looks like someone broke in looking for spare cash, Audrey, like maybe someone who needed it for drugs. Is anything missing?”
