by NM Facile
“I have nothing here, except you and bad memories.”
She understood that. This wasn’t the first time Ty had talked about wanting to escape the regrets of his past. It went further than just his record; it was his mom, and his resentment about his own actions. It was the first time he had spoken of physically leaving.
“It doesn’t matter where you go, you can’t outrun the past.” Mary didn’t hear him mumble that he could try; she was still trying to figure out how she felt about leaving her new home. “Ty, I don’t know. I just started teaching a new semester, and I have Faith here. She would be all alone…” she trailed off. She thought, and you’ve never even said you loved me.
Ty sat up and looked away. “It’s fine. It was just a thought. I think being here just made me think of Mom and all.” He shook his head and stood, reaching to help her up.
She pulled him to her for a kiss. It was a kiss of understanding and apology, a kiss to share the words that couldn’t be said.
“Do you think we could stop by Dee’s and pick up a pizza to take back to Faith? There’s nothing at our place, and I’m getting kind of hungry.” The sun was starting to dip low as Ty drove. Mary was sitting next to him, absentmindedly petting the stuffed bat.
Things between Faith and Ty were tense at times, but bit by bit, Faith was loosening up around him. After the Fourth of July, things had changed. Mary had told Faith that Ty was going to be in her life, and Faith could deal with that in whatever way she chose. Thankfully, Faith had decided to give him a chance.
“Does it have to be Dee’s?” Ty had told her he was working last night when, in fact, he hadn’t been there at all. “I get sick of being there all the time.”
“We don’t have to be there long, I’ll call it in and we can just run in and pick it up. It’d be nice to see Dylan, too. We should take him to a Vikings game this fall. It was fun when we took him to the Twins game. He’s a great kid.”
“Yeah, Dylan’s pretty cool.”
“So can we?”
“Can we what?”
“Call an order in?”
Ty reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “What do you want?”
Dee’s was busier with orders than Ty had expected, and they were stuck waiting at the counter. To make things worse, he saw Dom’s ride out front, although there was no sign of Dom himself. He must have been in the back room. Dom still flirted with Mary outrageously and, more often than not, Mary flirted right back, but Dom had started seeing some girl, so Ty didn’t get as worked up about it as he might have if Dom were serious about Mary.
Dylan came bounding out of the kitchen wearing a hat and carrying a delivery bag. Since he had gotten his license, he had been promoted to a driver on the nights they were busy. He complained about having to drive his mom’s minivan, but it was better than doing dishes.
“Hey, Ty, Mary.” He gave her a wide smile. “Dom said he needs to see ya in back a minute.”
“If he wants to see Mary he can walk his ass out here to see her.”
“Think he just meant you.”
Mary gave Ty a little push, “Go ahead and see what he wants. I’ve got things to talk about with Dylan, anyway.” She grinned, and as he walked away, Ty heard her ask Dylan if he liked football.
Sandra said a quick hello to Mary, and handed her their order, while telling Dylan to get back to work because the phones were ringing off the hook.
Mary took the pizza and went off in search of Ty. There were a few people in the back, but none she knew well enough to stop and talk with. The only other place she could think would be the back alley. People took smoke breaks back there, and even though Ty didn’t smoke often with her around, she knew he still did it. She cut through the back, waving again at Dylan as he held a phone to his ear. The back door was propped open, letting some much-needed cool air into the overheated kitchen. Mary heard their voices as she slipped out the door.
“I said no!” Even at a whisper, Ty’s tone was hard.
“Why not? We used to work well together. Your boss would be happy to have us back. Just talk to him.”
“Trust me, Dom, you don’t want me to do that.”
“What the fuck ever, dude! You’re not the only one with that shit. We can find someone else. I heard ‘bout some good Afghani shit just as tight as yours. Just remember, we talked to you first. When your boss fucking goes all Heisenberg on your ass, remember that. Not talking small shit, either, we’re in for the bigger shit this time.”
Mary had heard enough. She stepped back into the kitchen, placed the pizza on the nearest flat surface, and turned to see Dylan staring at her.
“Could you please take me home?” the tears began to fall as she processed what she had just heard.
Chapter 17 - Gone
“Mom, I’m taking a delivery,” Dylan called out, and strode to the back door.
Mary rubbed her eyes, hoping to hide the tears until she was away from Ty. She knew that she would have to confront him, but not here. She needed time to think this through before she could face him. Going out the back door, there was no way to avoid him. She just needed to get past him. She shivered from the chill that hit her when Dylan pushed the door open further. She pulled her shawl tighter around her, took a deep breath, and stepped outside.
“Mary?” Ty called, as she stepped out of the shadow.
She held up her hand to hold him off, and with a shaky voice answered, “Not now, Ty.”
“What the fuck? Mary, what’s wrong?” He moved to her quickly, wrapping his arms around her before she could duck away. She struggled against him until both Dom and Dylan reached out to stop him. Dom grabbed Ty, and Dylan pulled Mary away from him.
Ty looked between the three of them, trying to piece together what was going on. He shook Dom off before reaching out to Mary, but she refused his hand.
“Mary?” She was close enough to see the hurt and confusion from her rejection in his eyes. She couldn’t even find the words to answer him. She turned and walked away.
“Ty, let her go,” Dom’s voice was quiet, but the sound of skidding gravel suggested that he was physically preventing Ty from going after her.
Dylan walked stiffly beside her. He didn’t say anything as he led her to a grey minivan. Unlike Ty, he didn’t open her door.
Mary caught a glimpse of Ty going in through the back of Dee’s. She knew he would beat them to her place, but for the moment she had time to contemplate what she had just overheard. Dylan attempted conversation, but opted for the radio when she didn’t reply. Mary watched, her mind reeling, as the houses and buildings drifted by. Had she heard him correctly? It was possible that she had misunderstood them, wasn’t it? Had he been lying to her this whole time? How fucking stupid had she been to believe him? Everyone warned her, yet she just shut her brain off and let her emotions take over.
She tried to think through what she’d heard. ‘Afghani shit’ could be anything. Jack had told her about the different forms of heroin and the most common places it was trafficked from. She recalled him saying something about Afghanistan being a producer. But Dom said something about supplying it. What did that even mean? Was Dom trying to get it or trying to sell it, too? It was all a big ball of confusion. The one thing she knew for certain was that if heroin was not out of Ty’s life, then she needed to be.
Her time for thinking it through was up; Ty was blocking the walkway to her building, waiting for her. Dylan hesitantly asked if she wanted him to walk her to the door. That would be such an easy way out. Ty wouldn’t press anything with Dylan around to hear.
“No, I’ll be okay. Thanks for the ride.” She was out of the van and slamming the door behind her before Dylan could say any more.
Ty took a few long strides to meet her, but he stopped short when she looked up at him. The breath was knocked out of him. Mary must have overheard him and Dom. There was no other explanation. There was nothing but anger and hurt in the eyes that, not but a few hours earlier, had looked into hi
s with love.
“I’m sorry,” What else could he say? “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I…I…” Her words failed her. His response confirmed enough of her suspicions. She continued on her way to the door, only hesitating when she realized she didn’t have her keys with her. Ty had a set of keys to her place, but she wasn’t about to ask him to let her in. She pressed the call button, desperate to get inside, and prayed that Faith would answer quickly.
“Mary, please…” The sheer heartbreak in his voice gave Mary pause.
“No, Ty. There’s no please. I can’t do this.”
Faith answered the call, and Mary asked for her to buzz her in. The click of the lock sounded, and Mary grabbed the door handle, giving it a small jerk before turning towards Ty.
“I believed you. I trusted you. Goddamn it, Ty, I loved you.” She choked on the words and tears came spilling over. The pain on his face was too much. She pulled the door open and was gone.
Ty stood speechless, wanting to follow her, but unable to take the steps. His feet were as frozen as his voice. I loved you. I loved you. Past tense. It was as if she had already made up her mind and it was final. She’d told him she’d leave if he was lying to her, he just never wanted to imagine she would really do it. Back in the car, he spied the stuffed bat on the seat. He held it as he sat in silence, staring at her window. He knew her nightly routine, and wondered if it would be the same tonight. Did she walk in with a bottle of water in one hand, and her mail or a book in the other? Did she toss them both on her bed before stripping down? Would she sleep in her hockey t-shirt, or in nothing at all? He had had the pleasure of seeing both.
He sat there long after her light went out. It hadn’t been on long enough for her to have read anything. Ty doubted she would sleep, and wondered if she would spend the night questioning herself, or placing blame? Did she regret ever having allowed him to take her to the ER? Maybe he should have just called her a cab. Things would be a helluva lot simpler without having to factor her into his every move, or being constantly concerned for her safety. He held his breath every day with the thought of his parole officer coming to question her. Hinks had told him they weren’t interested in her, as long as she didn’t negatively affect his departure agreement.
“Fucking Hinks!” Ty would have sat in that parking lot all night if he didn’t have a meeting with that bastard first thing in the morning. The days of having to see that fuckhead were numbered. He just needed to show them he was cooperating. He reluctantly turned the key and backed out. Sitting there wouldn’t do any good anyway; she wouldn’t be coming back out. He just prayed that he could change her mind.
As the time apart crept from hours to days, Ty lost count of the voicemails he left her. He followed each with a text, but figured she was probably just deleting them, unread. After the first couple of weeks, he cut the number of messages down to two a day. He wanted her to know that she was his first and last thought of the day. Often, the messages were slurred and the texts barely readable. The Jack didn’t help as much as he’d like, but it did pass the time. He knew he should have been staying sober. One call, either from Mary or Karl, and his life could change. Hell, if she called and said she’d leave with him, he would risk it all; just take her and never look back.
His first shift back at Dee’s had been hell. No one had said anything, but he saw it in their eyes. Dylan or Dom, probably both, had told others. No one could keep their fucking mouths shut in that place. He lasted only a few hours before calling it quits. Soon he wouldn’t need the job, anyway. The extra time, both sober and drunk, was spent cleaning out his apartment. He gathered all of Mary’s things, wondering if she even wanted them back. He offered to bring them in some of his messages, but they went unanswered. The stuffed black bat sat at the top of the box next to the door, watching him prowl his apartment restlessly. Note after note was stuffed into, and then torn out of, the little rip in that bat. He could never find the right thing to say.
Two calls. His life had become nothing more than the minutes he spent with his phone in hand. He desperately waited for one call, and dreaded the other.
Mary, too, found herself with phone in hand, making plans that would take her to Florida, while avoiding all calls from Ty. She struggled to keep thoughts of him at bay and concentrated on the news from her mom. She tried to calm the ache of his betrayal, stifling it, burying it under the more immediate fears for her mother. Daily, she told herself that she would deal with Ty later, when they had both had some time to think things through. She told herself she was just giving them time to make a decision.
A few days after Mary’s confrontation with Ty, Jen had been admitted to the hospital, and while the doctor was optimistic that a transplant would happen soon, she couldn’t be specific about the timing. Mary attempted to continue teaching for the first few days after she heard the news, but the stress became too much. She wasn’t giving the kids the kind of attention they needed, and she knew it. The principal was understanding, and told her that her job would be safe until everything calmed down.
Faith was the supportive friend that Mary needed when it came to her mom, but before the call from Florida, she hadn’t exactly been comforting. There was no ice cream, no sad movies or words of advice. After Faith had buzzed Mary in, she had just shaken her head, and even though she was visibly biting her lip, Mary knew she was thinking, ‘I told you so.’ She hadn’t even had to tell Faith what the problem was.
Faith simply asked, “More lies?”
Mary had tossed a reproachful glare over her shoulder and continued to her room, where she spent a sleepless night wondering if she should’ve just run away with Ty. The question was, why did Ty want to go? Was leaving an escape for him, or was he looking for a new market? There could be more to it. What if he was in trouble with the law, or being forced to deal again? Maybe that was what Dom was talking about. He was so close to being done with his parole. If he went to jail, would she be in trouble, too? He should have been straight with her. Mary could have dealt with it, if she had only known what ‘it’ was. Now she was left with questions on top of questions, all piling up and leaving her more hurt and confused, with no one to turn to for advice.
Dealing with her mother over the phone left Mary edgy and drained, but her thoughts would still drift back to Ty, no matter how hard she tried to keep them away. She read his texts, but refused to answer his calls. A few words on a screen were far easier to handle than his voice. If she heard his voice, she would cave. She didn’t even bother to check her voicemail; she just let the messages fill up her box. Given time, she was sure she would be able to delete them, maybe even listen to them. For the time being, she pretended the texts didn’t put a lump in her throat and test her will.
Finally, the day came when her ticket had been purchased and all her bags were packed. Faith loaded up her little bug with Mary’s bags and drove her to the airport. Her last step before boarding the plane had been to send a text to Ty. She didn’t tell him she was leaving, just that she still needed time, and based on his choices they could attempt to talk when she was ready. She hoped that would be enough to stop his messages for at least a few days. The click of the seatbelt on the airplane cracked the fragile shell of emotions she had been bottling up. She closed her eyes, sobbing silently all the way to Florida.
Ty’s first call came, not from Mary, but from an unfamiliar number giving him the time and place to meet the bosses. He knew the old, empty storefront from his days bussing tables. It had been on the back edge of the parking lot of a strip mall the size of a city block. The Raylyanu brothers owned all of it. Their restaurant was on the far end, not even visible from the small brick unit that had once housed some kind of food business. It had been continually for rent, only occupied for brief amounts of time by a series of seasonal tenants. Ty figured this was just another seasonal setup, using it as a temporary base.
It was a few hours before the meeting and Ty was on edge, going through every possible scenario
, every outcome. Mary’s text interrupted Ty’s restless pacing. He desperately wanted to see her again, even though she told him she wasn’t ready. If he showed up at her door, she would probably shut it in his face, but he didn’t care. He just needed a hit of her beautiful, crazy-colored eyes to get him through whatever it was he was walking into. He grabbed the box of her stuff and took it to her place. He hoped she would be there and open the door for him, but he had no idea what he would say to her if she did. Just one last look, that’s all he needed.
He called, knocked quietly, and then knocked louder. He had seen Mary’s car in the lot. Faith’s was gone, so Mary was either out with Faith, or she was ignoring him. Ty fingered the keys in his pocket. He could just unlock her door and go in. He checked the time, and waited a few minutes before knocking again. There was still no answer. He didn’t want to leave the box in the hall, so he unlocked her door, hoping that she would understand. The apartment was silent. Mary’s bedroom door was open, and without thinking, he went to her room. There was no sign of her. He stood in the middle of her room, breathing deeply, absorbing the lingering traces she left behind. The ache of loss and regret crept through his veins, leaving him shaky and unable to breathe. He set the box next to the closet door; she’d see it and could do whatever she wanted with it. With one last glance towards the bed, he turned and left.
Ty drove mindlessly. He didn’t have anything more pressing to attend to, and he needed to clear his mind. That wasn’t going to happen. As he drove, an uneasy feeling started to overtake him. He was becoming increasingly anxious. He watched a beat-up Honda trailing him. He didn’t know who it was, and he was beyond even fucking caring. Without Mary, freedom meant nothing; without freedom, he would mean nothing to Mary.
Ty saw the first spotter a block from the meeting point. He noted where he was, and continued ahead, pulling into the back lot where employees parked. There was another man at the door. This one was packin’. Ty held up his hands, and turned his gun over to the thug asking for his name. He didn’t like having to hand it over. He had the feeling that this was a night he would actually need it. He was ushered into what would be a stockroom for any normal store. The shelves where inventory would sit were mostly empty, with a few exceptions; a scale and other necessary tools for cutting and packing heroin were there, and bulk packs of heroin itself. Tonight Ty would be learning a new skill, a skill to be taught to him by his new bosses. No more answering to Karl, tonight he would be answering to the men in charge.
