by Ashley Munoz
She buried her face into my neck as her hand went up to grab my shoulder.
I rubbed her side, hating how close I’d come to losing her.
“I’m not sorry that I left,” she whispered in my ear, stroking my neck and dragging her finger along my collarbone.
“You left assuming I’d be better off without you. How would you feel if I had done that to you? Agreed to marry a different person, giving you no choice in the matter, because I thought it was best for you?”
She let out a small sob that seemed to get caught in her chest. “I couldn’t think that way, Juan. You were never mine to begin with…I was never going to be able to keep you.”
“I’ve always been yours. Yours and no one else’s,” I explained coldly. My anger began to rise, making me hold her tighter against me. “I love you…I can’t…” I snapped my mouth shut, trying to get my emotions under control. “I won’t live without you, Taylor. It’s not a life I want.”
Her finger moved down to my chest where the zipper to my hoodie latched. She slowly dragged it down until she could see my chest and the two hearts tattooed there. I winced when the material grazed the ink. I was an idiot for taking the wrap off early, but hopefully with caring for it at Mal’s it would be fine.
“You claimed us. For real this time.” Her eyes found mine, watery and red and yet still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
My hand came up to cover hers. “For real and forever.”
She nodded and pressed a small kiss to my chest, which only made me want those lips on mine. I tipped her chin up until her mouth was accessible for me, and then I claimed it just like I did her life, her heart…her entire existence.
Taylor
My sister lived at the top of a thirty-story building, in the penthouse suite. She and Decker hated it and couldn’t wait to hand off the reins to the person they were currently in the process of training for the job.
I was at the window again in her guest bedroom, sipping decaf coffee, while I watched the city turn white under the December snow.
Alex had been bathed, fed, and burped, so now she was sleeping soundly in the crib my sister had ordered and set up for when I came to visit. I had turned to goo when I saw how many things she’d already bought for my baby girl.
The door opened with a click then shut, and I knew it wasn’t the man who was sharing this room with me tonight who had entered.
“I’ve been patient, but I need to know what the hell happened, and I know this is super shitty, but I’m not going to lie—at the top of my nosey list is why the hell you walked in looking at Juan like he was your knight in shining armor, and why you’re sharing a room with him…and why you never mentioned anything while I practically lived with you for ten days?”
I smiled at her, snuggling into the plush chair she had by the window. She settled on the bed, cradling her own mug of coffee. Probably isn’t decaf. Bitch.
“Did I ever tell you I had a massive crush on Juan?”
My sister’s green eyes grew into huge saucers. “What? No, you never told me that. How am I just hearing about this?”
I blushed and brought my sleeve up to my face, trying to hide my smile.
“I saw him play hockey my freshman year at RFU, and at first it was just the way he moved on the ice that I was drawn to, the way he seemed to glide so beautifully…it was like he was made for it. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him, and when he took his helmet off on the players bench…” I blushed again, shaking my head. “Mal, it was like everything faded away. Nothing had ever felt like that before. The way he shook his hair, the way he swept it out of his face…god, I was completely obsessed with him. I tried to talk to him after the game, but he ignored me. He walked right past me like I didn’t exist, and that was the first time anything like that had happened to me…with guys at least.”
“So, you saw him as a challenge?” Mal smiled at me over the brim of her cup.
I shook my head. “No…I just wasn’t expecting it. I was actually super embarrassed, but then I saw him again at a local hangout spot, that place off First Street, and that feeling came back…like everything else had just become a blur, except for him. I watched him like a stalker that entire night, and no joke…I tried talking to him again.”
My sister laughed, tossing her head back, and it made me laugh too.
“So, what happened that time?”
I covered my face in shame. “He ignored me again…totally talked to a different girl and ignored me.”
“Did you happen to grab a different date that night?” my sister asked, knowing me too well.
“Of course I did…I thought I could make him jealous, even though he didn’t know I even existed.”
“Poor freshman Taylor.”
I wiped my eyes, loving how good it felt to laugh with her again.
“I was seriously so obsessed with him. I knew his favorite places to eat and hang out…then I made all these ambitious plans over the summer before sophomore year, and what was the first thing that happened?”
My sister covered her face, cradling her mug between her legs. “I became friends with him.”
“Not just friends—best friends, and suddenly all he saw me as was Mallory’s little sister.”
“Still, you should have told him…or me, for that matter.”
I shook my head again, biting back another smile. “I ended up making a move on him senior year, right before I found out I was pregnant. I stole his number from your phone and texted him to come over…”
“Was this around the time Juan gave me crap for not being there for you?” Mal’s voice rose a little as she narrowed her eyes and pointed her finger at me.
I shrugged. “Close to it…it was a little before. Anyway, I kissed him. Then when he kissed me back, I told him I thought he was Holden.”
“No!” Mallory threw a pillow at me.
“Yep.” I nodded weakly.
Mal’s voice lowered. “Is that why you two didn’t get along?”
“Sort of…I hurt him pretty badly when I said I was waiting for Holden, and he came by one morning like he always seemed to back then and said something awful to me. Then he took that girl to your wedding, and it was just…” I blinked, looking out the window to clear the emotions away. “Anyway, as you know, I ended up staying with him, and then everything with my dad happened, but we had preexisting feelings…so things sort of moved along.”
“Wait a second,” Mal said conspiratorially. “Have you two had sex?”
I blushed.
“Oh my god! You have and you didn’t tell me!”
I covered my face. “I’m sorry…I was so worried about Juan being tied to his family stuff that I didn’t have time to be myself with you.”
My sister softened. “It’s okay, oh my gosh. My best friend and my little sister—I’m so excited.” She squealed and jumped off the bed.
“Does this mean you talked to him about everything and you’re not mad anymore?”
She ducked her head, watching her coffee. “He talked to me while you were bathing Alex, and I kind of get it now…I think. I mean, I don’t want any of you to feel like you can’t talk to me just because of what I do for a living.”
“You write about this stuff specifically, Mal…of course we’re going to be hesitant.”
She moved her head, sipping the last of her coffee. “But I get it. I mean, with Decker and Kyle…I would never do anything to endanger them, and the same goes for Juan. He’s my family. Even more so now.” She stood up, kissed my forehead, and then leaned away. “I’m going to go hug him and tell him how excited I am that he’s going to marry into my family.”
“Hey, who said we were getting married?” I sat up quickly. Where was this coming from?
Her hand paused on the door handle while she looked back at me. “Are you for real?”
She did know everything we had gone through, but Mal was the number one person who’d argue for me not to get married this young, regardless if she had
done so herself.
“Taylor, you don’t get it. He doesn’t just love you—that boy craves you. There’s no way he’s not putting a ring on it the second he gets a chance.”
I sank back into the chair as my sister left. I wasn’t sure how I felt about getting married right away. All I knew was that I wanted to be with Juan…but I didn’t think that required marriage. Did he think differently? I half wondered if the ideas about Holden coming back around lingered in his mind the way that image of Angela pressed against him lingered in mine.
Chapter Thirty-Five
It was late when I opened the door to the guest room and closed myself inside. Taylor was awake with the side lamp on, holding Alex in her lap. I stood by the door for a second, just watching how Taylor’s hair was swept up into a loose bun on her head with little strands falling to her neck. Her face was bare so her freckles were showing, and all she wore to bed was a white tank top with some kind of built-in nursing thing, underwear, and a pair of tall socks.
My dick twitched at just watching how her nose scrunched as she laughed and cooed with her baby girl and dove in to kiss Alex’s cheek and feet.
Watching them together felt like my entire life was playing out before my eyes, like I was dreaming. They were it for me, and I didn’t even know if either of them would ever know how monumental that was.
“You just going to stand there, or are you going to come get in on these snuggles while she’s awake?”
I smiled, jolting out of my stupor, and walked toward the bed.
“Watching you two is like a dream…like something I don’t ever want to end.”
I moved, crawling onto the bed until I was lying in front of Taylor’s crossed knees and Alex was between us. Holding my head up with my palm, I peered down at the little bundle of perfection, taking in her dark hair and blue eyes. Her gaze drifted up until she was looking at me, then she smiled, warm and bright, and it was everything. My heart felt like it grew a thousand sizes in a single instant, and all I knew was that this girl was mine. Regardless of who her biological dad was, she was mine, and would be forever.
“She knew about your hockey offers,” Taylor suddenly said, still looking down at Alex.
My eyes jumped to hers. She…shit.
“I didn’t tell her.”
She eyed me, grinning at the sweet face below her. “You didn’t tell me either.”
“I’m sorry about that entire thing, babe. I was exhausted, and she said she had something from my mom, which is why I went out there to begin with.”
“You didn’t push her away when she kissed you.”
I stared at her while she stared back, the silence stretching.
“I was tripping pretty hard over her Holden comment. I’m worried you’ll leave me if he comes around. I don’t want her…just you. Only you.”
“Holden hasn’t contacted me,” she said quietly, stroking her daughter’s hand, grabbing her tiny fingers.
I mimicked her along Alex’s other hand but didn’t respond. Even if he hadn’t reached out, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t.
Taylor suddenly touched my face, forcing my eyes up until I was meeting hers. “You make us whole, so even if he one day decides he wants to be in her life, you were here first. You loved her first. She’s yours, Juan. Just like I am. If you want us…then you have us.”
Fuck, she broke me. I had never felt this broken, but this was it. I was done for.
I moved so I was lying next to Taylor, then I pulled her until she was lying in my arms, and the baby too.
“I love you both. I want you both. So, if you’ll have me…then…”
“Yes,” Taylor rushed out.
“No more games…no more walls. You’re mine, and I’m yours,” I said, meeting her eyeline.
She sat up gently and set the baby in the lounger across from where we were entwined.
“No more games.” She pressed a kiss to my bottom lip. “No more walls.” She moved until she was pressing her lips into the corner of my eye. “You’re mine.” Her tongue darted out, tracing the shell of my ear until she was whispering, “And I’m yours.”
I grabbed her, gripping the side of her face until our lips landed in chaos against each other. My tongue swept into her mouth while my lips pressed a solemn promise into hers. Our mouths moved in cadence while Taylor’s hand delved into my hair, pulling on the ends, deepening the kiss.
“I love you. I have loved you for so long.” She broke away, gasping, then slammed her lips back to mine.
“No, I’ve loved you…you’ve driven me crazy for the past two years.” I returned the messy rhythm of kisses along her jaw and neck.
“I have you beat. I’ve loved you for four, not counting this year…so I’ve loved you longer.”
I moved until she was cradled under me, my arms caging her in. I dipped my head until I was licking the swell of her breast.
“You may have loved me longer, but I’ll probably outlive you, so in the end it will be me who loves you longer.”
A scoff left her lips, which rumbled in her lungs and forced a smile from my lips. “You think I’ll die first?”
“You eat like crap, babe. Sorry.”
I smiled, shoving her shirt up, marking my way down her stomach. It wasn’t entirely flat yet, so I wasn’t surprised when she tried to shove me away, but I stayed where I was.
“No. I get to love you and touch you, fuck you at whatever physical size you happen to be. Don’t ever push me away from loving this body.” I pressed a kiss to her belly button. “This skin.”
She let out a sigh.
“You’re too sore still?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not sore, but the doc said six weeks, and we’re only at four…”
I kissed down her underwear, nuzzling her pussy from behind the cotton barrier. “Then we’ll wait, but you can still orgasm without penetration, right?”
She gave me that lazy smile that answered without using words. I smiled and returned my lips to her body.
I ended up kissing her until she fell asleep, and I gladly took a shift with Alex, walking around the room with her tiny body cradled in my arms. I watched the skyline of the city as I sang in Spanish. Her big round eyes just watched me in fascination. Taylor said they can’t really smile at this stage, that it was probably just gas…but every time Alex looked up at me, she smiled. It was like she knew who I was, even when I didn’t know who I was.
I loved her more than I could anything on this earth besides Taylor, but this love was so different. It was a roar in my chest, a war drum in my veins, demanding I protect her, keep her safe, and buy her anything she’d ever want in her entire life. I didn’t care what Taylor said…we’d get her whatever she wanted.
I ended the night watching both my girls sleep, and while they slumbered, something inside of me came alive.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Juan’s mother sat across from me with weary eyes and a frown that made her look decades older than she was. She’d been apologizing for the past half hour and had even brought me flowers and a baby gift for Alex.
“You think I’m bad for him?” I asked at about the fifteen-minute point, and that was when Anna switched gears from kissing my ass to being real with me. I always preferred that people be real; it saved time.
“I think you tied him to this life, and he didn’t want it,” Anna explained, her voice soft.
My heart broke a little bit. She wasn’t defensive or being mean. She finally understood that I wasn’t going anywhere and we needed to figure this out for the sake of her son.
“I tried to leave so he wouldn’t be.”
The sun broke through the clouds, offering a little bit of warmth. The fire roaring near our legs was still warmer. Juan was inside with Alex while his mother and I had stepped out to the patio to chat. It was mid December and my twenty-first birthday. A date that had held such fear for me all those years had turned out to be nothing but perfect peace. Juan woke me with a searing kiss, which led
to us dry humping. I still hadn’t been cleared by the doctor for sex, but we’d been touching, kissing, and sucking like crazy. Dry humping in our underwear had become one of our favorite pastimes.
I always finished Juan off with my mouth, and while he always wanted to reciprocate, I wasn’t ready to have him near me in that way yet, so he’d take out his cock and let it fill the space between my legs while I wore my underwear. Then I’d rotate my hips and grind against him until I was screaming. After our orgasms, Juan took us to breakfast; he’d even bathed and dressed Alex for me. Fatima, Mallory, and Decker, along with my mother and Charlie, were on their way for my birthday dinner, but before then, Anna wanted to make peace.
“I know you did, and that’s how I knew you were the one for him. He never would have risked so much for someone who didn’t mean this much. I will never interfere in your relationship again, and I hope in time, you can grow to trust me…and allow me to love Alex like she’s my own grandchild.”
I reached over and grabbed her hand in mine. “Of course. I want nothing more than to have that. Juan and I will marry one day and have more kids. I want to have a good relationship with you before that happens.”
We hugged and talked about Juan’s plans for the family. Hector had talked to me about Juan’s dream for El Peligro, which prompted me to ask Juan about it. I ended up crying from how proud I was of him and how badly I wanted to partner with him on making it better. Anna cried too, and I watched as the worry for her son began to lessen and eventually drift away.
“You ready for your big night?” Juan walked up behind me, his hands going to my hips, his lips to my bare shoulder. I moved my hair to the side as he took up residency in his favorite place. We danced like this, him behind me, holding me. We watched Alex sleep like this. It was often how he let me know he wanted me. I loved this position.
“Did you know Kyle is coming and bringing that girl with him?” Juan teased, biting my earlobe.
I spun in his arms. “She forgave him?”
