by Erica Lee
Well, this was embarrassing. My only hope was getting my mom’s help without causing a scene that Reagan would notice. “Um, Mom?” I muttered softly. When I didn’t get an answer, I opened the door part way and tried again. “Mom?”
Much to my chagrin, Reagan showed up at the door instead. “Your mom and grandma went to get the car. What do you need?”
“Forget about it,” I snarled.
Before I could shut the door, Reagan pushed on it from the other side. “Seriously, Charlie, what’s up?”
I rolled my eyes at her insistence. “Well, if you must know, my zipper is stuck and now my pants won’t go down.”
Apparently, my brain didn’t inform my body that she was just assessing the situation, because as her eyes scanned my jeans, it felt like flames were being shot from her pupils and burning every spot they touched on my body.
“I can help you.” Reagan rubbed a hand over the back of her neck as she said those words.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I breathed.
Reagan gave me a sympathetic look. “Me either, but do we really have another option?”
I sighed and motioned toward my zipper. Reagan dropped to her knees to get a closer look. I laughed to myself. This had to be some sick joke the universe was playing on me for pouting about how long it had been since someone had gone down on me. I watched as Reagan carefully navigated, doing her best to be respectful of my personal space. Well, as respectful as you could be when pulling down someone’s fly. It only took a few heavy tugs before Reagan got the zipper down. She stood back up as soon as she finished.
I noticed a bead of sweat running down her forehead, as she shyly backed herself against the dressing room wall. ”Sorry. I was just trying to help. I’m really not trying to make things even more awkward between us.”
Before I could overthink it, I placed both hands on either side of Reagan and leaned in close. “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry about how badly I want to kiss you right now.”
Reagan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Charlie, I…”
I let out the breath I had been holding and forced myself to take a few steps back. “I know. We can’t do this. I get it.” I tried my best to change back into my shorts as quickly as possible, but the feeling of Reagan’s eyes on me made it hard to focus on anything else. Once dressed, I let my eyes connect with hers, and they naturally drifted down toward her lips. I forced myself to look away, then walked out of the dressing room, trying to ignore the erratic beating of my heart.
***
Later that night, I lay in bed replaying the whole scene in my head. The more I thought about it, the more I beat myself up. What was wrong with me? I wasn’t the type of girl to try to turn a straight girl, and I certainly wasn’t someone who condoned infidelity.
Except, the more I thought about Reagan’s response to my come on, the less it seemed like the reaction of someone who wasn’t attracted to girls. I sighed as I pushed those thoughts from my head. This was the girl who was currently hiding away in her boyfriend’s bedroom doing who knows what. Well, I had a pretty good idea of what they were doing, but the thought made me sick.
Chapter 5: Reagan
“Ooooh yes, that one right there,” I laughed as I lay next to Jamie in his bed.
He put one finger up to his mouth, making a gagging motion. “Absolutely not. He’s wearing a MAGA hat. I told you using my current location on the dating app would be a disaster. The last thing I want is to hook up with someone in this podunk town who is still stuck in the closet.”
That makes one of us, I thought to myself.
“Technically, aren’t you stuck in the closet here?”
Jamie waved one hand at me. “Semantics.” I playfully shoved him and we broke into another fit of laughter. “Listen,” Jamie said, suddenly becoming serious. “I’m loving these late night hangouts, but they really do need to stop. I don’t want my parents to catch us and get the wrong idea.”
“Do you think your parents would be more upset if they thought I was screwing you silly in here or helping you pick out guys on a dating app?”
Jamie rolled his eyes at my question. “I’d rather not have them thinking we’re doing anything, hence why you should go back to going to bed earlier than Nana, like you did the first week here.” He shoved me back and added, “But just for the record, they would totally prefer you screwing me silly. At least that could give my mom grandbabies. But could we drop it? Thinking about it makes me want to barf.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know that I’m a great lay,” I pouted.
“And I don’t doubt that one bit, darling. But in case you haven’t noticed, you’re not my type.”
No, but I am another Miller sibling’s type.
And just like that my mind was back on Charlie. After her big reveal on Friday night, our interactions made so much more sense. It turned out I hadn’t been imagining the flirting and the chemistry. And that kiss. That kiss proved how electric we were together. Unfortunately, the kiss was a mistake and couldn’t happen again. There was no way I could hook up with Charlie without revealing the truth about her brother. And it’s not like I could ask Jamie if it was okay because that would involve outing Charlie. What a mess. I was stuck acting like the doting girlfriend and trying to ignore the sexual tension surging between Charlie and I, which was really hard when she did things such as getting her pants zipper caught and then pinning me against the wall. I wanted to have my way with her right there in the dressing room and I probably would have if she hadn’t backed off.
“Speaking of being super duper gay,” Jamie interrupted my thoughts, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell my sister anytime soon. I felt it out and I’m still not sure how she would react.”
“Why is that?” I asked a little too intensely, selfishly wishing that Jamie would just tell her already.
“Well, she was saying how cool you were. Weird, right? Clearly, she doesn’t know you. Anyway, I made a joke about how maybe she wanted to date you and she got ridiculously flustered.”
“Well, that is a really awkward joke, dude.” I tried my best to keep my voice level, so Jamie didn’t realize how overwhelmed I felt about that “joke.”
“Only if you’re a homophobe who has an issue with two girls being together, dude,” Jamie fought.
I shook my head. “You’re missing the point. It’s not awkward because of it being two girls together. It’s awkward because you are implying that your sister wants to date her believed-to-be future sister-in-law.”
Jamie squinted his eyes, as if he was considering my words. “I guess that’s a good point. But in that case, I feel like it would only be awkward if it was true, which it obviously isn’t.”
Oh yeah. Obviously not.
“Whatever you say. I’m just saying that you should believe me when I tell you that your sister is cool with it.”
“Fine. I guess I believe you, but I’m still not ready to tell her. Maybe by the end of the summer.”
I groaned internally. The end of the summer seemed so far away.
***
By the time Friday rolled around, I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. Anytime spent around Charlie was pure torture. My eyes were drawn to every single move she made, and at this point, it seemed like a miracle no one had noticed. To make matters worse, the whole family was going to some small town barbecue joint for dinner, which meant that I would have to endure at least two hours of mindless banter about marriage, babies, and which guys Charlie’s cousins wanted to hook her up with.
Which is why I didn’t even hesitate when Jamie asked me if I wanted to get away for the afternoon. As soon as I answered, he hopped out of the chair he was sitting on and started heading out of the room. “Wait, where are you going?” I asked.
He pointed his thumb toward the stairs. “I was just going to ask Charlie if she wanted to come along. She’s seemed stressed out lately. I think my parents are getting to all of us, and since we had such a good time
on the boat, I thought it would be fun to all hang out again.”
“Sounds great,” I lied. I knew I couldn’t argue since I had been the one to tell Jamie that he needed to spend more time with his sister. Still, I prayed she would say no.
Unfortunately, my prayers were not answered, and within a few minutes, Jamie was coming back downstairs with Charlie following close behind him. “So, are you as surprisingly good at mini golf as you are at water skiing?” Jamie asked, a shit-eating grin splitting his face.
“I’ve told you multiple times that I’m not, which I assume is exactly why you are about to tell me that’s what we’re doing.”
Jamie put an arm around me and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Oh honey, you know me so well. Let’s go.”
***
Not only was I terrible at miniature golf, but I also hadn’t gone since high school. I was against participating in sports that I knew I couldn’t win, so I avoided it. That was obvious when I went to hit the ball at the first hole and couldn’t even figure out the best way to hold the club. I hit the ball too hard, causing it to leave the green and land in one of the many man-made ponds.
“God damnit,” I muttered under my breath, walking past a giggling Jamie and Charlie to look for my ball. I noticed it right in the middle of the pond, just out of reach. Of course. I tried my best to anchor myself into the ground as I leaned over the water to retrieve the ball. My fingers were almost touching it when I felt my one foot start to slip. I braced myself for my very wet fall when I suddenly felt two strong arms grab me around the waist. Already off balance, this sudden change in direction caused me to fall right on top of the person.
A light gasp escaped from my rescuer. It was much too high to have come from Jamie, so I wasn’t surprised when I turned around and was staring into Charlie’s wide eyes. Instead of moving, I stared back. I knew I needed to get off of her, but this position felt so damn good. Would it really hurt if I just enjoyed it a little bit…
“You guys are insane.” Jamie’s cackle distracted me enough to remind me where I was and I jumped to my feet.
I reached my hand toward Charlie to help her up. It’s the least I could do. She had saved me from spending the rest of the day drenched. She accepted my hand and I felt the electricity run between us as soon as our fingers brushed together. It didn’t escape me that she had held onto my hand a few seconds longer than necessary, but I wasn’t complaining.
Instead of looking at me, Charlie stared out at my ball. “That really wasn’t the best choice,” she chuckled.
I wasn’t sure if she was referring to how I went about trying to retrieve my ball or the fact that she had rescued me, but I decided to assume the former. That was much less awkward. “Can you tell me a better way to get it?” I challenged.
Charlie leaned over and grabbed something about five feet away from her. She smirked at me as she used the object to skim through the water and pick up the ball, exactly as it was made to do. Her cocky grin only grew as she handed the ball back to me. I wanted nothing more than to wipe that smile off of her face, but my methods probably wouldn’t have been accepted by my closeted twins.
The next few holes went a little better than the first. I at least knew how to retrieve my ball from the water now, which came in handy. When we reached the halfway point and another one of my shots left the green, Jamie groaned and walked up behind me. “I can’t handle this anymore. Please let me help you.”
I was going to yell at him to just leave it, until I noticed the look in Charlie’s eyes in response to his proximity to me. I shouldn’t have enjoyed the jealousy that I saw. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her even more than I already had, but damn, green looked good on her. Yep. It was sexy as hell how her eyes burned into me as Jamie’s hands grabbed ahold of mine to direct them to the correct place on the club. There was nothing sexy about what was happening between us. Jamie and I were so close that we were used to pushing boundaries, in a completely platonic way. Of course, Charlie didn’t realize that, so I took advantage of the situation and pushed back against Jamie, cringing a little when I thought about how close I was to his junk.
Jamie tipped his mouth close to my ear, so only I could hear his whispered words. “I see what you’re doing, but I don’t think it’s necessary with my sister. Save the over dramatic acting for my parents.” He paused for a second, then added, “By the way, please stop grinding against me or I might barf.”
I snickered at his words and pulled away, so I could teasingly swat his arm. When I looked back at Charlie, she still hadn’t taken her eyes off of us. I tried to focus on the ball, taking into consideration what Jamie had just told me, but the feeling of Charlie’s eyes on me was too distracting. The ball stayed on the green this time but ended up on the side completely opposite the hole.
Jamie threw his hands in the air, shaking his head. “Seriously? Normally, I’m all about things I can actually beat you at, but this is just ridiculous.” He looked around, his eyes landing on something in the distance. “Will you ladies be okay if I go empty the water hose? If I knew this game was going to take so long, I wouldn’t have hydrated so well.”
“Go do your thing, babe,” I teased, adding a wink for good measure and watched as he walked back toward the entrance where the bathroom was.
When I turned around, Charlie’s gaze had intensified. We stood there staring at each other for what felt like hours, before she took a few uncertain steps toward me. “So,” she hesitated, “it turns out my brother might not be the best teacher. He was showing you all wrong, you know.”
I lifted one flirtatious eyebrow at her and let my lips curve into a half-smile. “Is that so?”
My body language seemed to give her the confidence she needed, and she didn’t falter in closing the rest of the distance between us. She settled in behind me and reached for my hands, just as Jamie did earlier. Only this was nothing like Jamie’s lesson. Her hands slowly slid down my arms before forming a firm grip over my hands. She brought her body even closer, so there was no space left between us. My body hummed in response to her touch and I let myself lean into it, as she directed my hands with her own. I followed her lead as we pulled the club back together and allowed to it lightly tap the ball on the way back through. She continued to hold onto me as we watched the ball make its way toward the hole. It didn’t go in, but stopped just past it, which was much closer than I had gotten all day. I excitedly jumped, causing Charlie to release her grip.
As if the reality of the situation suddenly hit her, she backed away, eyes wide. She shook her head and looked toward the ground. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I’m not sure why I keep acting like this.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” I soothed, starting to reach out toward her, then thinking better of it and letting my hand drop.
“Why are you acting like this? It’s weird and really confusing.” The pain I saw in Charlie’s eyes killed me, and in that moment, I was willing to admit anything to take it away.
“Charlie, I…”
“Are you guys messing with me right now?” Jamie’s voice bellowed behind us. “You guys had to set that up to mess with me because there is no way that Reagan got the ball so close to the hole. I’m not buying it.”
“I guess maybe your lesson worked, after all,” I responded, using my eyes to try to convey something completely different to Charlie. I’m not sure exactly what I was going to say before Jamie interrupted, but I knew it was probably something I shouldn’t. I didn’t want to keep my feelings a secret though. I started to question what was more important: revealing my secret or keeping Jamie’s. My heart and my head had two very conflicting answers.
***
This question continued to run through my mind as we sat at dinner with the whole Miller family. Charlie had barely looked at me since our moment on the miniature golf course, and it was killing me. The outfit she had decided to change into was also killing me. Her tight Daisy Dukes and short tank top had my body on high alert, and I had to wonder if she
did it on purpose. A part of her had to realize that her feelings weren’t one-sided, and I had a notion that she was trying to drive me wild. That notion was confirmed when Charlie’s cousin-in-law again brought up the guy who was absolutely perfect for her.
“So, Charlie, I showed Travis, the one who owns the auto body shop, a picture of you and he is really interested. Have you reconsidered going on a date with him?” Naomi pried.
“I’m still not convinced I want to date anyone right now, but I’ll keep him in mind. He seems like the best prospect right now. I can’t think of anyone who would be better.” I knew what Charlie was doing, but it still didn’t make her words hurt any less.
The whole night was getting to be way too much and I knew I had to get out of there. I turned toward Jamie, but spoke loud enough so the others could hear me. “I think I need to go back to the house. I don’t feel good. Something isn’t sitting well with me.”
Before Jamie could respond, Mrs. Miller cut in. “Aw, sweetheart. Sick again? I guess with all of that city living, your stomach never learned to handle a good, homemade country meal. Charlie, since you have your car here, do you mind taking Reagan? I’ll get the rest of your food packed up and bring it home with me once we leave here.”
The shock on Charlie’s face in response to her mother’s request matched exactly how I felt. “I think it makes more sense for her boyfriend to take her home.”
Mrs. Miller laughed as if Charlie had just told a funny joke. “Oh honey, we can’t do that. There would be no one home to supervise the two of them.”
Charlie snorted at this answer. “With all do respect, Mom, they live together. I think they spend a lot of time unsupervised.”
Mrs. Miller’s face dropped, clearly still feeling distraught over this fact. “Well, they are adults and unfortunately that means I can’t control what they do when they aren’t here. But, I can control what they do under my roof, which is why I can’t condone that.”
