“I’m assuming you know plenty of those?” She peered at me from the corner of her eye. “I know one girl, but she mostly does photoshoots for schools. She often works for the daycare April goes to.”
“I’ll put some feelers out. I do know plenty, but they’re usually fully booked for professional shoots over weekends. A couple of them owe me favors, though. We’ll find one.”
“Can I see some of their pictures?” she asked. “Brett gave me a pretty good idea of the look they’re after. I think I’ll be able to help you narrow down who to ask.”
Shifting on the carpet, I moved closer to her and pulled up a few websites on my phone. Her faint scent drifted over to me, and I nearly groaned when I breathed it in. The smell of shea nut always had and always would remind me of her. There had been a time when I got a little hard every time I walked past those shops where women bought these things, since that was usually the smell that won out over the others.
Her fingers grazed mine when she took my phone to study the gallery on one of the websites I’d pulled up, and I nearly grabbed hold of her hand to keep her skin on mine. Holding hands wasn’t really my thing, but it had been something I’d liked doing with her. Just because I’d always been wanting to touch her in some way, shape, or form.
“I like this one,” she mused, tilting her head as she put both fingers on my screen to enlarge the picture she was looking at. “It’s very similar to the work of a woman Brett loved, but she’s not available on the day.”
“Let’s send Langdon a message right now, then,” I suggested, taking the phone back from her when she held it up in her palm.
After firing off the message to the photographer, we made notes of the other vendors we had to schedule visits with. The wine kept flowing, and several glasses in, Colette didn’t seem quite so bitter toward me anymore.
“I’m proud of you, you know,” she said suddenly, her blue eyes shining with laughter over a joke I’d made a few minutes ago.
I cocked an eyebrow at her, frowning while I wondered what this was all about. “You are? What for?”
“You’re taking this really seriously,” she said. “A part of me thought you were going to come over tonight and only want to mess around, but that’s not the case at all.”
My other brow climbed to join the first one as I shrugged, not looking away from her for a second. “I’m not the same person I used to be, Colette. I’ve changed. I’ve grown up. If we’re going to be working together, you’re going to have to accept that.”
For the longest minute, she didn’t look away. Her eyes searched mine, moving from one to the other as if she was waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, she nodded and let out a soft sigh.
“Yeah, you might be right, but for the record, I’ve changed too.” She picked up her glass and cradled it between her fingers. “If we’re going to be working together, you’re not only going to have to accept that. You’re going to have to respect it too.”
“Consider it done,” I said again, meaning every word. “Now that that’s out of the way, can we please try to have some fun with this?”
“We’ll see, Paxton,” she said after a brief pause. “We’ll just have to see.”
And see we would, but I was determined to get her to relax around me. Sure, I’d hurt her once upon a time, but it wasn’t like I’d walked away unscathed. Our past was complicated, but that didn’t mean our future had to be as well.
Chapter 12
COLETTE
It was well into the night when the words on the paper in front of me started to blur. When I glanced down at my watch, I realized it had gotten much later than I’d thought, and I was exhausted.
“It’s past midnight,” I said to Paxton, closing the binder I’d been working on and stretching my arms out above my head while covering a yawn with my bicep. “I think it’s time for you to go. We’ve done what we can for now. Tomorrow is a new day, and we can start checking things off the list.”
“Yeah. You’re right,” he agreed, his eyes slightly red as they dropped down to a strip of skin that had been exposed when I reached up.
My arms fell back down to my sides immediately, but I couldn’t deny that seeing him notice it made me wonder what he would do if I just leaned in and kissed him. Would things still be as explosive between us as they used to be? I didn’t know, but the fact that I suddenly wanted to find out meant that the wine was messing with my head.
He needs to go. Right now.
“I’ll let you know if I hear back from the photographer or the DJ in the morning,” he said, averting his gaze and moving it over to April instead. “Are you sure I can’t help you get her into bed?”
“No, I’m fine.” I stood up, stepping over to her and picking her up carefully.
Cradling her head on my shoulder, I held her close and carried her to her bedroom. It was a bit of a shuffle to get her sheets turned down so I could lay her down, but I’d done it so many times that I managed it just fine.
She’d brushed her teeth and washed her face after dinner, but she’d have to have a bath in the morning. After covering her with her comforter, I flicked on her nightlight and turned to leave the room to see Paxton out.
To my surprise, he wasn’t very far away. He must’ve followed me because he was leaning in the doorway, a soft smile on his lips and his arms crossed loosely over his chest.
“I know you don’t need my praise, but I’m going to give it to you anyway,” he said quietly, moving back to let me out of the room before falling into step beside me. “You’ve done an amazing job with her. She’s the sweetest kid I’ve met in a long time, if not ever.”
“Thank you,” I said. He was right about me not needing his praise, but I would never throw a compliment about April back at anyone. “She is pretty great.”
“She really is,” he agreed.
Silence fell between us until we reached the front door, but it was charged with the electricity that always seemed to be present when we were together. I used to think that the electricity meant that we were meant to be. That we’d been lucky enough to have found the “one” at the ripe old age of fourteen when he started at my school.
Now I knew better. The electricity was simply lust. Pure physical chemistry that had never been the problem between us.
I really wanted to not want him, but I did. It wasn’t just the wine talking either. Pax had always drawn me in, and that wasn’t any less true now.
There was just something about him that I found utterly irresistible. As evidenced by the fact that I’d known how much of a player he was when we’d gotten together, and I’d done it anyway. I thought he would be different when he was with me.
Ha. Silly, girlish fantasies.
I would not be making that mistake again. My heart had been blown to smithereens by him once. Just because he was still the most beautiful man I’d ever seen didn’t mean I had to give in to the lust.
And he was beautiful. He wasn’t simply skating by in a profession that only allowed in the most perfect-looking specimens humanity had to offer. He was thriving in it. Some might even say he was dominating the scene at the moment.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his tone.
The words made me pause, reminding me of all the times I’d heard him ask that question in the exact same way. When I didn’t answer, he stopped walking and grinned at me. “You were thinking about me, weren’t you?”
“How did you know that?” I folded my arms, lifting my chin to look him right in the eye. I refused to lie or to be embarrassed about the fact that he’d caught me red-handed. Red-minded?
“So you really were, huh?” he mused, the corners of his eyes crinkling as his grin widened. “You got this really furious expression on your face. I figured it had to be about me. What were you thinking?”
“Just about how infuriating you are,” I said, waving my hand dismissively.
“No, that’s not it.” His lips pursed as he gave m
e a look. “What was it really? Also, while we’re on the topic of things you should tell me about—Gabriela?”
“We were nineteen when we had that conversation, Pax.” I held his gaze steadily. “Nineteen and more than a little drunk. I never made any promises that I wouldn’t use the name if we didn’t have a daughter together. We should never even have been talking about starting a family. We were way too young.”
“Maybe, but we were also very much in love.” He stated it as fact, so I just shrugged before he continued. Both of us knew it was true anyway. “I would’ve done it, you know. All of it. Everything we talked about. Married you. Started a family with you. Grown old with you.”
“In order to have done any of those things, you would’ve had to stick around.” I took a step back toward the door, reaching out and sliding the dead bolt out to open it. “On that note, it’s time for us to say goodbye. You didn’t drive, did you?”
“Would you have cared if I had?” His voice was soft, and there was genuine curiosity in his eyes when he asked.
I sighed—loudly—before nodding. “We’ve been drinking. No one should drive under the influence. It’s not even really only about what might happen to you. It’s about the other people on the road and their safety as well.”
“Agreed, which is why I took a cab,” he said, the moment of truth arriving as we geared up for the big good-night.
If he tried to kiss me, I was slapping him. As much as I wanted to be kissed in the way he used to kiss me again, I didn’t want said kiss to be coming from him.
His gaze dropped to my lips, but then he took a few deliberate steps away and only stopped again when he was well out of reach. “It wasn’t so bad being stuck in a house with you. See you soon, Colette.”
I rolled my eyes, gave him a small wave, and shut the door in his face. It might’ve been childish, but it was so fucking satisfying.
After locking the door, I went to make sure April was still happily tucked in before I went to the bathroom to get myself ready for bed. My eyes were slightly shiny from the wine and my cheeks flushed. With my hair loose, a little tangled from having had it that way all night, and my face looking the way it did, I looked younger. Less stressed and much sexier than usual.
Jeez. Paxton didn’t even have to touch me to make me look like I’d been screwed. I groaned out loud before I grabbed my toothbrush from the holder next to the sink. Why does it have to be him?
Out of all the men I’d ever met in my entire life, why was he the one who still got to me? It was ridiculous. And I needed to get over it.
I hadn’t seriously played with the idea of dating again in years, but maybe it was time. Even if it was just to find someone who might become familiar to scratch whatever itch I had with. Friends with benefits? Isn’t that what the cool kids call it?
Once my teeth and face were clean, my pajamas on, and my lights off, I collapsed into bed myself. It had been a hellishly long day, and I desperately needed to stop thinking about sex and Paxton in the same train of thought.
Inevitably, that would lead to thinking about sex with Paxton—again—and I couldn’t have that. Unfortunately, it seemed like my subconscious had other ideas.
Paxton looked down at me on my knees in front of him, his pupils so blown there was almost nothing left of those beautiful blue irises. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I figured out that I must have fallen asleep and was dreaming, but this wasn’t just a dream. It was a memory.
I recognized it almost instantly because it wasn’t the first time I had dreamed about my last time with him before he left for the army. He was older now than he really had been at the time. In fact, he looked exactly like he’d looked tonight even though we were back in his childhood bedroom.
My hands were on him, one wrapped around his shaft and the other running along the back of his thigh. There was a bit of wetness leaking from his tip, and my tongue darted out to taste it. It didn’t matter how many times I’d done this with him, his reactions still fascinated me and made me want him that much more.
A long, low groan parted his lips, and his tongue darted out to swipe across them after. He always tried to keep his eyes on me, but then there would come a point where he’d tip his head back and send this intense, piercing glare at the ceiling as he fought to stop himself from screwing them shut.
His fingers were in my hair, but he never hurt or pushed me. His grip was firm, showing me what he needed or simply using me as an anchor to hang on. Bare chest rising and falling, his breathing sped up until he was practically panting as I sucked him in between my lips while still working him with my hands. His cheeks were tinged with red, and his hips jerked every so often, as if he just couldn’t quite stop himself from thrusting.
“Baby,” he moaned before his face scrunched up in an expression of the most beautiful agony that told me he was very close to losing it. I kept watching him, my eyes glued to every part of him I could see until I finally noticed that slight dipping of his stomach.
The sound that escaped him just before he let go was small, but so sexy and raw that I almost came right along with him. Reaching between my legs, I moaned around him when my fingers brushed my clit. I’d never thought I’d do anything like this with someone else in the room with me, but this wasn’t just anyone else.
This was Paxton. He’d been the one who’d encouraged me to explore and to get comfortable with what I liked, and when he opened his eyes to see me playing with myself just because I wanted to be touched right now, he moaned again.
Still shuddering, he lifted me against him and kissed me until I was breathless before walking me back to his bed. I toppled down onto his mattress, my fingers already curling into his soft sheets when I felt him spreading my legs to settle between them.
His warm breath on my aching pussy was almost enough to do me in as turned on as I was after all that, but he didn’t leave me hanging. He never did. Mouth latching onto me, he performed his magic with his tongue and his fingers until I was a writhing, moaning mess in the center of his bed.
By the time he finally sank into me, our eyes connected and his fingers twined around mine, I was so lost in him that I’d never have believed this would end up being our last time. In fact, as we flew over the edge together this time, I really thought our story was only just beginning.
Especially when he stayed inside me after, his mouth pressing kisses to my skin before he lifted his head to look into my eyes again. “I love you, Colette. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you, and I will keep loving you for the rest of my life.”
“I believe you,” I whispered, and I really did believe him. “I love you too, Pax. From now until forever.”
Then I looped my arms around his neck and didn’t even realize that our forever was only going to be another couple of days long.
Chapter 13
PAXTON
Tierra’s eyes went wide when I told her about last night over brunch at a small cafe near her office. “You spent five uninterrupted hours with Colette and you’re still here? I’ve got to say, I don’t know if I’m more shocked or more impressed.”
I grinned, raising my orange juice for a toast. “Best brother and man of honor ever, am I right?”
“I honestly didn’t think you’d actually follow through,” she admitted incredulously as she clinked her glass against mine. “I really thought you were going to find some way around it.”
“Of course I was going to follow through,” I said. “You and Brett didn’t give me any other options.”
She rolled her eyes at me, knowing I was just giving her shit. “Yeah, sure. Because you always go along with whatever the option given to you is.”
“Hey, I’d much rather have taken a sexy model back to my place from my shoot yesterday, but I love my baby sister more than I love sex with pretty strangers.”
Tearing off a piece of her toast, she tossed it at my head and wrinkled her nose. “Eww. I’m so grossed out about the thought of my brother having sex right
now. It’s way too early for this.”
“Coming from the girl who told me just the other day that I’m not allowed to be grossed out by the thought of her having sex because, and I quote, ‘It’s not like I’m a blushing virgin’?”
“I was talking about having sex with my fiancé and soon-to-be husband. You’re talking about dragging a pretty stranger back to your bed and smashing your bits into hers.” She pulled her nose up as high as it could go.
I laughed. “If you think sex is just about smashing my bits into hers, then I might need to have a talk with Brett.”
“Don’t you dare.” She narrowed her eyes into a pretend glare as she pointed her fork at me. “We’re not talking about Brett. We’re talking about you, and I used to hear more than enough about your exploits from the girls at school. Until you hooked up with Colette, anyway. I’m still impressed that you managed to keep it in your pants for the better part of that year.”
“Except I didn’t keep it in my pants,” I said teasingly, wagging my eyebrows at her. “I just kept it in hers.”
Tierra’s hands flew up to cover her face, and she shook her head back and forth a few times. “I really don’t want to even think about that. You two sure were hot and heavy back then, though. It’s kind of difficult to believe it now.”
“Yeah, I know.” My mood dipped. “She fucking hates me.”
She dropped her hands, her expression turning thoughtful. “Well, you did run off on her. I understand that you felt like you needed to do it, but you know you didn’t have to break up with her, right? Lots of people join the army and still stay in their relationships.”
“I know that now,” I corrected before letting out a deep breath. “Yeah, okay. I’m being full of shit. I knew it then too. Things just got super serious between us, and then I joined up and then…”
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