“Paxton,” I gasped, pressing my chest as close to his as it could go. “Please, Pax.”
A grin spread on his lips, and he slid one of his hands beneath the elastic of my panties and groaned, dropping his forehead against mine as his fingers slid between my bare flesh. “Fuck. You actually did it. It’s all gone.”
Even though I could barely breathe from how badly I wanted him, I still managed to flash him a teasing smile. “It’s all been gone for almost as long as you have been. At first, it was kind of a ‘fuck you’ to you that I got waxed and you’d never get to experience it. But then I realized I really preferred it this way. It felt much cleaner.”
“If it makes you feel any better, if I’d known…” He let out a tortured moan. “The ‘fuck you’ would’ve been loud and clear. No doubt about it.”
“Well, you’re getting to experience it now anyway, so I guess it wasn’t all that effective of a ‘fuck you’ in the long run.” My hips jerked when his first finger found my entrance, and his eyes went wide before they became so heavily lidded that I wasn’t sure he could see anymore.
“God, you’re so fucking wet for me,” he gritted out.
“We are in a hot tub,” I said with the last bit of coherent thought I could muster. “Wet goes with the territory.”
“Ha fucking ha.” His teeth grazed my neck, and both of us let out loud groans when his finger slid all the way in. “Fuck. Colette. Just… Fuck.”
He stopped thrusting up into me with his hips after that, the muscles in his thighs trembling. Stilling as he focused on me, it gave me a not-so-little thrill to know he was so close to the edge that one more push would send him flying over it.
“What’s that all about?” I asked. “You’ve never been one to hold back.”
“Yeah,” he said, his lips brushing against mine as he talked. “But this is you. I’m not under any illusion that we would’ve been doing this if we’d been sober tonight, and I don’t know if I’m going to get to do it again, so I’m not blowing my load anywhere other than in you.”
“Who said you only have to blow it once?” I wasn’t even kidding.
Paxton really had never held back. Like with everything else, he went where he wanted to when he wanted to go there, but he’d also always recovered fast whenever he’d come first, and he’d had a lot of fun while waiting for his second turn to come around.
No pun intended.
He grinned against my mouth. “I love the way you think, baby, and it’s definitely happening more than once, but the first time will also be while buried deep inside of you.”
“Well, you won’t have to wait very long,” I mumbled, stumbling over my words as I felt the familiar stirrings of an orgasm brewing.
White-hot tension pulled at my insides, pleasure coiling deep within me. My toes curled, my brows pulled together, and my teeth sank into my lips to keep my moans muffled. The privacy shield surrounding his balcony might be keeping us from the prying eyes of everyone not in a helicopter, but that didn’t mean his neighbors were deaf.
A scream still ripped out of me when he used the heel of his hand on my clit, and the whole world disappeared from the force with which I got pulled under by that wave. My muscles locked, and I trembled my way through until my vision came back and my body relaxed. I sagged against him, but his arms were steel bands around me, holding me up and keeping me from going under the water.
If only he could be counted on this way under different circumstances, maybe we’d be planning our own wedding. As soon as the errant thought hit, I knew I was in trouble of my brain coming too far back online.
It had probably been about two hours since we’d had our last drinks, and the excitement, activity, and everything else that had happened had made the alcohol feel like it was leaving my system much faster than I thought it would.
Thankfully, Paxton took one look at my face and must’ve realized he needed to distract me fast. Without hesitating, he lifted me right out of the tub, set me down on the edge, and ripped my panties right off. I was about to protest when he spread my legs apart, moved between them, and put his mouth on me.
Deciding to just keep doing what I’d been doing and staying in the moment, I put one hand out slightly behind me and braced myself on my palm. The other burrowed into his hair, gripping it just as tight as I knew he used to like.
Sex hadn’t been our downfall, though. We’d always been really good at that. Joking and having fun together hadn’t ever been a problem for us either. Paxton hadn’t been one of my best friends for no reason. He got me on a level very few other people did, and he had from the very first moment.
It was like we’d locked eyes when he’d walked into the cafeteria that morning, looked into each other’s souls, and thought, That’s it. You’re my person.
Even though we’d only been fourteen at the time, we’d clicked on a much different plane than I’d clicked with anyone before him. Sex, fun, friendship, and even working together and supporting each other came naturally to us. None of that was what had ended us.
No, what had ended us was Paxton’s inability to settle. It made no sense to me that he would suffer from that particular affliction. His sister was marrying a guy she’d met and started dating twelve years ago. As far I knew, their parents had also met in high school and had never spent a day apart—even eventually going to their final resting place together as though some higher power had known one wouldn’t survive without the other.
By all logic and reason, the guy should’ve been the perfectly willing and eager to marry type. But he wasn’t. It was like he saw all that and ran in the other direction as fast as he could.
While I might have thought he’d change for me once before, that wasn’t an issue any longer. I didn’t think so anymore. And even though I knew I had to tread lightly here and that it would be so easy to get sucked into how easy things could be with him, I refused to worry about any of it right now.
Not while he was lapping at me like I was his favorite ice cream on a hot summer’s day, his fingers touching me everywhere I needed to be touched. His free hand was on my hip, and my hands came up shamelessly to massage my breasts.
Within minutes, I was tumbling right back over the edge, and again, when I came to, he was there holding me and making sure my wet ass didn’t slide off the ledge and into the tub. Damn it. Don’t make me feel like you care, Pax. Just don’t do it.
“Need you,” he grunted when he saw my eyes blinking open again. “Now, babe. Right the fuck now.”
He pulled me back into his lap, and I didn’t know when he’d done it, but his underwear was gone. My bra hit the deck surrounding the hot tub with a wet splat next, and then he was positioning me over him.
Despite the orgasms he’d already given me, I was desperate to get him inside me. But he was still Paxton, and that meant we needed to have a quick conversation. On this particular topic, I trusted him with my life.
One of our friends had contracted an STD when we were younger, and it had made it painfully clear to all of us how vitally important this was. Taking his face in my hands, I peered down into his eyes.
“You’re clean?”
He nodded. “Still getting tested obsessively even though the last person I didn’t use a condom with was you.”
“I’m on birth control. I wasn’t going to risk another unplanned pregnancy,” I said. “Also still getting tested regularly at every one of those health-screening days we need to attend for the hospital even if I haven’t been with anyone in years.”
He kissed me hard and fast before I felt his tip sliding between my folds. “You’re good with this, then?”
“Too good.” I smacked my lips back to his and kissed him just as hard but a lot slower as I lowered myself down on him.
As I fed him into me, I nearly stopped breathing from the intensity of the stretch. It seemed while a lot of me remembered a lot of him, one body part needed time to get used to him again.
The strain was clear on Paxton’
s expression, but he didn’t push into me or try to rush things. His jaw was clenched, his Adam’s apple was moving as he swallowed, and his eyes were narrowed, but I could feel him watching me like a hawk.
After taking a moment to adjust, I nodded and let out a soft moan. “Fuck me, Pax. Do it. I need you to move like you mean it.”
And oh dear Lord did he.
By the time I’d have drowned at least three more times if it hadn’t been for him and the clock I could see through the glass windows said it was way after 2:00 a.m., my body was so sated I was limp and practically delirious.
Paxton went to get a bottle of champagne once he’d recovered, bringing back with him two crystal flutes and then proposing a toast as we sat side by side in the hot tub, watching as the rest of the city slumbered.
“To us,” he whispered. “To our new chapter.”
My eyes popped wide open, and I threw the contents of my glass into my mouth in one go and drank it all down. But I didn’t ask which chapter he was talking about.
It was just this one month, and we were already one week in. We would be fine. I would survive, but there was no way I was sleeping next to him. That was for fucking sure.
Chapter 19
PAXTON
After one of the most intense and intensely stupid sexual encounters of my life, Colette tried to bail. She was fine at first, but by the time I got back with the champagne, she seemed on edge.
I thought a toast to us working together might remind her of the bigger picture, but she downed that glass and another, then sank further down under the bubbles like she was self-conscious all of a sudden.
“Do you think you can get me a towel?” she asked, her words slightly slurred again.
I wasn’t surprised. Champagne wasn’t anyone’s friend when you went into drinking it completely sober, and that, we were not.
“You want to get out already?” I asked lightly, resting my head back against the inflated pillow behind me. “Why?”
“It’s tomorrow morning, for one. I need to be up in a few hours to pick up April, and I still need to get a cab and get home.”
It was probably more than a little selfish of me, but I didn’t want her to leave. “Let’s not make things weird. You can crash here, and I’ll give you a ride to Brett’s in the morning to pick her up.”
She glanced at me from where she was resting against the pillow behind her, holding my eyes with more than a little weariness in hers. “That’s not a good idea. If I stay here, we’ll end up sleeping together in more ways than we already have. It’s just not a good idea.”
“I have guest bedrooms,” I said. “Hell, if you want, you can even sleep on the sofa, but we need to get this liquor out of our systems before we go anywhere.”
“I don’t even have a change of clothes to sleep in,” she countered, lifting a single finger out from beneath the water and pointing at me. “Before you even suggest it, I’m not sleeping naked.”
Well, there goes that plan. “I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ll get you a pair of my sweats and a T-shirt. You can sleep in those.”
“Your sofa, huh?” She yawned, not bothering to cover her mouth but just turning her head away from me before she sighed. “Fine, but don’t get any ideas. The only reason I’m agreeing to stay here at all is because you’re right about needing to sleep it off.”
“Understood.” I meant it too. “As much as I’d like you in my bed, or in any of my beds really, if you’d prefer the sofa, then the sofa it will be.”
“Alone,” she warned. “I’ll sleep on the sofa alone. If I’m in a bed, who knows if you might be tempted to come cuddle up next to me.”
“I’m not Goldilocks, you know. I don’t need to test the beds, but you’ve got yourself a deal. If you want a sofa, alone, then consider it yours. They’re pretty comfortable anyway. I’m an experienced sofa-sleeper myself.”
She chuckled, but I could see her eyelids drooping. Leaning over to brush a quick kiss to her temple, I pushed away from the seat and got ready to get out.
“I’ll be back with a towel and some clothes in a few, then I’ll give you a minute to get changed while I grab the blankets.”
“Thank you.” Another yawn came out of her, and I jumped my naked ass out of the hot tub before she passed out on me.
When I got to my bedroom, I went straight to the window to make sure she hadn’t fallen asleep yet. Seeing her feet kicking lazily and her eyes focused on the inky sky, I went to my en suite bathroom and got us each a towel.
After quickly stopping at my dresser to get our clothes, I went back to the window to keep an eye on her while I changed at the speed of light. That protective beast inside was roaring that I needed to hurry. It was dangerous leaving her down there alone in her state.
She was exhausted, drunk, and the post-intercourse sleepiness was even dragging at my eyelids. I had no doubt she was feeling it too.
I walked out onto the balcony only a few minutes later—as promised—and held out her towel in my hand. “Colette? You okay?”
Her eyes had closed at some point in the seconds it had taken me to get back downstairs after leaving my bedroom, and my gut clenched until I saw them cracking open again. She even smiled at me. “Do you mind turning around? I know it seems odd, considering what we’ve just done, but—”
“Say no more.” As soon as she took it from my hand, I turned my back on her but kept my ears on high alert just in case she fell over or something.
Nothing like that happened, though. There was only the gentle lapping of the water as it reached the sides of the tub when she stood up. Then there were the slightest of splashes as she climbed out.
Just like that, she had the towel wrapped around her body and came to stand next to me. “Clothes?”
“Right here.” I passed her the small pile in my other hand, then walked her to the guest bathroom to get changed. “There should still be some airplane freebies in there if you want to brush your teeth or whatever.”
“Classy,” she said, but the end of the word was said on yet another yawn. “Be right out.”
The door clicked shut behind her, and I went back to the living room to dim the lights and make up the sofa for her. It irked me that she’d chosen this over a bed, especially since I would’ve kept my promise to let her sleep alone, but I respected her decision.
She didn’t trust me fully, and I couldn’t blame her for that any more than I could blame her for anything else, which was not at all. I definitely would’ve preferred having her in my bed, but she’d been right too.
If she slept next to me, that meant waking up together as well. It wasn’t something I’d done in a while, waking up next to someone after sleeping with them all night, but I wouldn’t have minded it with her. But not if it would make things weird, and it would.
From her side, anyway.
As it was, I knew she was going to wake up hungover. What I didn’t know was whether she’d regret tonight. I sure as fuck hoped not. I sure as hell wouldn’t be regretting it, but this was Colette. It was different for her.
All of these thoughts roamed around my head while I made up her bed, adding my own pillow as a finishing touch. It was the best one in the house, as far as I was concerned, and I wanted her to have it.
Soft footsteps padding over the laminated floors and then dulled completely by an area rug made me look up. I nearly groaned out loud again at the sight of her in my clothes, with her feet bare and her face scrubbed, the soft, dimmed lights making her look like a figment of my imagination.
How many times have I wondered what she would look like now when she got ready for bed? The answer was a lot, because while I’d had many more naughty fantasies about her than clean ones, I was only human.
It had been my fault that I’d lost her, but that didn’t mean I never wondered what our lives would’ve been like if I’d stuck to our plan. There had been plenty of nights when I’d lie in my bed, staring at the ceiling, imagining her walking out of the bathroom and climb
ing into our shared bed beside me.
They’d gone a little further than that too. Colette’s belly round with my child. Her walking around with our baby in her arms, or even her walking down the aisle toward me.
But when she gave me a soft smile now, patting the space beside her once she’d sat down on the sofa, she exceeded everything my imagination had conjured up.
Every. Single. Thing.
Knowing she was here in real life was infinitely better than anything I ever would have been able to cook up for myself. I almost didn’t even have to order my body to move. It just did it.
Once I was seated beside her, she laid her head on my shoulder. “Thanks for tonight, Paxton.”
I looked down at her, noticing that she was already almost dozing off. On the other hand, it was three in the morning. After the week we’d had, of course she was practically sleepwalking by this time.
Turning my head, I planted a soft kiss on top of her hair. “You’re welcome. Sleep tight, okay?”
As I was trying to summon the willpower to get up with her body pressed against mine and the weight of her head on my shoulder feeling better than it had any right to, she stopped me with just a few simple words.
“Also, I wanted to thank you for not asking me about April’s father. People always ask, you know?”
So surprised that I was suddenly wide-awake again, at least ten prying questions jumped into my head but I didn’t ask one of them. “I figured it wasn’t something you’d want to talk about, least of all to me.”
She shrugged, her eyelids so heavy they were almost shut. Her voice was soft, but not so soft that I couldn’t hear her.
“His name is Andrew,” she said sleepily. “After he left, I realized that I never really loved him. Not in the way that I loved you.”
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