I felt him taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly, but I didn’t rush him. His words were making my head spin anyway. A few seconds to process definitely wasn’t unwelcome.
“I can’t explain it exactly, and I know she’s not technically mine, but I feel like I’m connected to her regardless,” he said, sounding as if he couldn’t quite believe it himself. “Whenever I’m with her, I feel things I didn’t know a person could feel before they have their ‘own’ kids. I want nothing more than to make her smile and see her happy. I want to share every moment with her just so I don’t miss out on any of the big, formative ones. I want to be there when she spreads her wings and flies, but I also want to protect her from the big bad world out there.”
Butterflies exploded inside me. Not just in my stomach, but everywhere. My heart got replaced by a jackhammer, and blood pounded in my ears, the rushing of it almost but not quite blocking out what he was saying.
“You have zero reason to believe that what I’m saying is true, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove it,” he said, resolve strengthening his voice. “All I’m asking you for is a chance. Just one more chance.”
“Paxton, I…” I didn’t know what to say. “Is this real? Is this really happening right now? ’Cause I gotta say, I’ve had a lot of dreams where I’ve heard you say things just like this, and I always woke up from them.”
Fingers sliding down to my ass, he pinched me hard enough that I jumped away from him a little. When I looked up, his expression was tender and sincere, but there were devilish flames flickering behind his eyes.
“Satisfied that you’re not dreaming?”
I glowered at him, but only for a second until I stepped back into him. “Yeah, I am, actually. It might surprise you to know that you did that a few times in some of my dreams too, and it was always then when I woke up.”
“You really dreamed about me saying all these things?” he asked after a brief pause, the pads of his fingers skimming over my cheek before he put the slightest amount of pressure under my chin.
Knowing it meant he wanted me to look at him, I raised my eyes slowly until they were back on his. They were darker now than they had been only a minute ago, the flames extinguished to leave only remorse behind.
“Yes, Paxton. I did. I dreamed about you asking me for a second chance,” I admitted, a flash of pain burning through me when I remembered the depth of the disappointment I’d felt whenever I’d woken up to realize it hadn’t been real.
He winced, like he’d either seen the pain on my features or like the admission had made him feel pain of his very own. Possibly both.
He looked like he was about to apologize again when I shook my head. “Don’t say it. You already have, and I’ve already accepted. I’m not telling you about this because I’m fishing for another apology. I’m just answering your question honestly. In the early days, before I accepted you were gone for good, I used to dream about you crawling back all the time.”
His fingers flexed where they held me. “I thought about doing it all the time too, if that helps. Until I saw you again and realized you’d thrived without me, not a month went past that I didn’t wonder if I’d made a mistake.”
“Seriously?” I frowned. “Every month?”
“At least.” He chuckled softly, bringing his forehead down to touch my own. “You weren’t the only one left with battle scars, babe. I know I’m the one who left, but I broke my own heart when I did it right along with yours. But I didn’t crawl back because I still didn’t believe I deserved you.”
“Do you believe it now?” I asked cautiously. “Because if you don’t, then let’s rather just forget this conversation ever happened. If you’re doubting—”
“I’m not doubting a single fucking thing,” he said, that unwavering determination back in his tone. “If I’m still not the man who deserves you, then I’m going to be selfish and ask you for this chance anyway. I’ll never stop working at being that man, and I’ll never stop working at being the kind of man and father that April can look up to.”
My jaw dropped. Actually, properly dropped. Paxton Gould just referred to himself as a father. Or a father figure, at least. Life of the party, player Paxton wants to be a dad? To April? My April?
Before I could phrase it that way for him, he made it plenty clear that he understood what he’d just said. That it hadn’t just slipped out.
“I want you back, Colette,” he said. “I want you back more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life. Bring your baggage and your battle scars. My shoulders are wide enough to help you carry both. Hell, I’ve even got extra storage space at my place for you.”
Disbelief.
Total. Fucking. Disbelief.
And he wasn’t even done yet.
“I want you to be mine and April too. I don’t know the first thing about what it takes to be a good dad to a three-year-old, but I want to learn. I want to be the best father to her anyone has ever seen, and I swear to you that I will become him. I will never hurt her, you hear me? Never.”
As I stood there gaping at him in the middle of the dance floor, he placed his hands lightly at either side of my jaw, holding me like I was something precious to him. “I fucked this up once, and I will never do it again. Let me prove to you that I left the boy who hurt you behind. Let me show you that the man I am now can do better. Just say you’ll give me another shot. A second chance. A last chance.”
Everything hinged on my answer to this question, and I knew it. I couldn’t even describe what was going on with my heart, and my brain wasn’t doing much better. At the end of the day, though, it came down to whether I wanted another chance with Paxton. Whether I believed we deserved a second chance.
When I thought about it that way, there was really only one possible answer to give him. Right there in the middle of the dance floor in front of everyone, I wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss so passionate that it broke my world apart.
And then it put it back together again. Stronger than it had been before. Better. The possibilities of this world infinite, and each one of them filled with so much joy that I could barely stand it.
Maybe I could’ve focused on the past again. The hurt I knew he could inflict and the ease with which I knew he could change his mind.
But I didn’t focus on that.
Because it was well and truly over.
Forgiveness might not mean forgetting, but it did mean not dredging it up at every opportunity. It meant finally opening up and trusting the person who had earned it not to repeat the same mistakes.
I had forgiven him.
Fully. Finally. Free.
“What was that for?” he breathed when we eventually parted an age later. “Is that a yes?”
I smiled. “You make me so mad, Paxton. But you’re also the only person I’ve ever been madly in love with.”
At that, he kissed me again—harder this time. Literally sweeping me off my feet. I felt the grin spreading across his lips before we broke apart.
His eyes shone like brilliant, shimmering gems when he rested his forehead against mine. “I love you too, Colette. Always have. Always will.”
Chapter 39
PAXTON
When I’d arrived at the hotel this morning, I’d been single and not seriously considering changing that status. I honestly hadn’t even thought there was a chance of walking away from the reception as anything other than single.
Yet here I was, dancing with the woman who had just agreed to give me another chance. Pretty sure that means I’m officially off the market.
I held her tighter to me, resting my head on top of hers and grinning like a madman at anyone who met my gaze. Being part of a couple had never come easily to me after her, which was why I’d never tried staying in one again, but nothing in the world had felt as right to me as she did in this moment.
Tierra’s talk and my reactions to what she’d said had changed everything. It had made
me realize that I didn’t only want a second chance with Colette; I needed it.
There was also no way I could let her walk out of my life just when we’d finally worked through everything. What Tierra had said about me loving Colette the way she suspected I did had been true.
All roads I could take would always have led me back to Colette. A future with her was what I’d always wanted, even though there had been more days when I’d believed it was impossible than those when I’d thought it might just happen.
It was like the tides and the moon. As weird as it was to look at the ocean and the hovering ball of light so many miles away and know that they were connected, it was an undeniable truth. Colette and I were the same.
We could have years or miles between us, but we would always be pulled toward one another. Always affect one another in ways that might seem weird or absurd to others, but not to us. As far as I was concerned, we were as undeniable as the moon and the tides. As inextricably linked and just as timeless.
This right here? This was forever. Bet on it.
Colette glanced up at me, her fingers entwined with mine tightening as she smiled. “This was always going to happen, wasn’t it?”
I pressed a kiss to each of her eyelids before I grinned. “I’d like to think so, yes.”
“What was always going to happen?” Tierra’s inquisitive voice piped up next to us, and when I turned my head, I saw her and her brand-new husband had danced up to us. Her gaze swept from me to Colette and back again before she shot Brett a smug grin. “I think I know, and I told you it would happen.”
He rolled his eyes at her, but there was no hiding the love radiating from either of them. “I didn’t disagree with you. I just said I didn’t think it had happened yet. Pretty sure it’s happened now.”
Colette chuckled, then met his worried gaze. “It has happened, and I’m fine. More than fine, actually.”
Brett took her in for a beat; then his face split into a wide grin, and he whooped. “Fucking finally. I thought you guys were never going to get it together.”
“So did I,” she admitted, “but deep down, I always knew it would either be him or no one.”
“I, for one, am glad it’s me,” I said before kissing her forehead and stroking my thumb over the exposed skin at the small of her back. “Before we continue this, where’s April? I thought she was with you.”
My sister giggled and exchanged a look with Colette. “You still need to develop the parental all-seeing eye, but she’s with Brett’s mom. She saw me handing her off a minute ago.”
Colette nodded before smiling at me and mimicking my action on her back at the nape of my neck. “She’s fine with Maeve. They’ve eaten some cake, but I should go get her stuff together. Veronica will be here any minute to pick her up.”
“You were keeping track of all that while you were making the most important decision of my life?” I pretended to gape at her, but the truth was that I was in absolute awe of her.
She laughed and gave a coy little shrug before she let me go. “If you were serious about what you said just now, you’ll figure out how it’s done sooner or later. I’ll be back.”
I circled my fingers around her wrist when she made to leave and slid them between hers. “You’re not going anywhere without me right now. I was being serious, so consider me officially ‘in training.’ You’re right, I do need to figure it out. Starting right now.”
Her brown eyes were warm but shining with humor when she brought them back to mine. She shifted her hand in my grip to press our palms together as well, then gave me a tug.
“Alright then, trainee. Let’s go. We’ve got a bag to pack, a toddler to assist in making her rounds to say good night, and a car seat to move from my car to Veronica’s. You up for all that?”
“Bring it on.” I winked at Tierra. “Whoever thought I was going to be taking parenting classes before you?”
“Dude, everyone thought that way back when,” Brett laughed. “Whenever you two came close to each other, there was a chance of Colette getting knocked up just from the way you two looked at each other.”
My sister smirked and held up her fist to bump it against her husband’s. “Well said. He was probably the only one who didn’t even see it coming now, though. Go easy on him. Paxton can be a bit blind when it comes to love.”
“A bit?” Brett echoed, laughing again as Colette joined in.
I flipped them all off but let her lead me away from the bride and groom, who suddenly thought they knew it all about love. Tierra called after us. “We’re thrilled for you, you know!”
Colette planted a kiss on the underside of my jaw when I fell into step beside her, and then she beamed up at me. “It might’ve taken us a bit longer than anyone expected to get here, but we are here now. Ignore them. They’re delirious in their happiness.”
I snaked my arms around her waist and held her close to me, dropping yet another kiss on the top of her head. “So am I. I never thought I’d get to say this to you again, but since I can, I love you.”
“I love you too.” She rested her head on my shoulder for half a beat before we reached Maeve and April. “It’s time to go, baby girl. Veronica will be here in a minute.”
The little girl swung pleading eyes up to her mother, then darted them to me when Colette just smiled. “Can’t I stay for five more minutes?”
I would’ve given her the world when she looked at me like that—never mind only five more minutes—but Colette held firm as she ruffled April’s hair. “You’re going to have five more minutes while we say goodbye, but it’s time for bed.”
Maeve was the first to bid April farewell, then grinned widely up at us as she drank us in. “Congratulations, you two. Paxton, don’t be stupid with this one again, alright, my love?”
“Never,” I promised, lifting April into my arms as we walked away from Brett’s mom. We gathered all of April’s toys from behind the table, packed them along with her other things into her bag, then headed out toward the babysitter’s car.
I got a crash course in all things car seats but managed to move it from one to the other, and before I knew it, I was getting just as big a hug as Colette had. April clung to me for a few moments before she let her mother strap her in, and then we waved goodbye as Veronica drove her home.
With my arms around Colette, her back to my front, we moved back into the venue just when Tierra was about to throw her bouquet. She seemed to have been waiting for us, since she smiled as soon as she saw us walking in.
As the head groomswench, Colette rushed forward to blindfold Brett with his tie, then joined the ranks of the girls waiting for the flowers to hit them on the head. Handsy winked at me, but when I arched a brow and inclined my head toward Colette, she deflated and whispered something to Screechy.
Both girls eyed Colette but quickly set their sights on the prize. A prize that ended up flying just past the tips of their outstretched fingers and landing smack in Colette’s hands.
Tierra shrieked and then gushed with excitement when she spun around to see her bouquet in Colette’s hands, and when I caught the garter later on, I swore I saw the cartoon hearts above my sister’s head.
Later on, I was outside puffing on a cigar with some of the boys. A lot of the older guests had gone home, and the party was winding down.
Dan blew out a plume of smoke before he glanced at the garter in my pocket. “So, you and Colette again, huh?”
“Yep.” I grinned. I couldn’t seem to stop doing it. “It’s about fucking time too.”
He frowned. “You’ve been covered in models for years and you’re not freaking out about the whole her catching the bouquet and you catching the garter thing? You know you can’t still tap your coworkers now, right?”
“Those days were gone the second I saw her again, and I have no desire to get them back,” I said honestly as I clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Besides, I never really wanted anyone else anyway. If it was anyone else who’d have caught that bouquet on
me, all you would’ve seen of me was my back as I ran for the hills. With her, no. I’m not freaking out about it.”
There was a strange peace inside me, like the universe had sealed our decision with a promise of its own. Dan and I talked for a little while he stubbed his cigar out. A pair of arms wound around me from behind, and I stiffened before I realized it was her.
“There’s a storage room around the corner with a door that locks,” she murmured after Dan gave us a wave and walked away. “Feel like sneaking around a little bit?”
I choked on the last drag I’d taken and tossed the cigar into the ashtray while reaching down to grab her hands. “Take me to your storage room, oh sneaky one.”
Laughter bubbled out of her as she led me to an outbuilding not far away from where we’d been standing. We were as giddy as teenagers as we stumbled into the dark room and locked the door behind us.
As soon as I heard the snick of the lock, I turned her around and pushed her up against the door. There were no windows in here, and while they probably had lights, I wasn’t about to go wasting time looking for one.
Besides, the dark just made things that much more exciting. Supremely aware of the sounds she made as I captured her lips with my own, I ran my hands all over her in that dress that had been driving me out of my mind all day.
I heard every hitch in her breathing and every whimper that followed when I touched her somewhere she craved me, and it turned me right the fuck on. The sounds of the last of the party seemed distant with all the walls separating us, but it also assured me that it wasn’t likely anyone would hear us.
Between the walls, the music, and the laughter drifting in from outside, I decided it was safe to have a little fun. After giving her one final, hard kiss, I dropped to my knees and didn’t even give a damn if it left evidence of what we’d done on my suit.
The scent of her arousal hit me as soon as I bunched up the hem of her dress around her waist. So it’s true what they say about other senses being heightened if you’re robbed of one. Interesting.
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