Ryan didn’t want to lie to you.
Most importantly, why did Ryan feel like I needed to know the truth?
I was confused and a little bit angry. But down deep inside me, in a place I was trying hard not to think about, a flame had been lit. A little flame glowed and stirred as I considered this idea. Ryan wasn’t with my sister. Ryan had almost kissed me. Ryan had asked her to tell me the truth.
The little flame burned brighter, and I realized with horror that it was a flame of hope.
Chapter Eleven
Ryan
When lunch was over, I stepped off the sweeping back porch, gazing out at the river lapping at the beach down below and the huge old trees leaning over the wide yard, cooling the still air. This place felt magical to me—part of it must have been the knowledge that it had been here for hundreds of years, it had seen turning points in American history that I’d read about in books. And, if Gran was to be believed, plenty of history I hadn’t read about. Who knew the founding fathers were such stone cold players?
When you’ve lived your entire life on the West Coast, this kind of real history makes an impression. Even the air here gave the sense of calm steadiness, of patience, as if the whole place was saying, I’ve been here this long, I’ll be here forever. It made me feel small, somehow, less solid. But it also made me aware of the impermanence of my own life—not that my own history hadn’t done a pretty good job of that. But it just hammered home the knowledge that our time here was short.
And while the history of the place was definitely interesting, it was the present that held my interest most.
I didn’t know what it was about Tess, or what might exist between us if we gave it a chance, but it was something I’d never felt before.
I turned back to the house, and could see Tess through the kitchen window at the sink. Juliet had gone inside with her after lunch, winking at me as she’d gone, so I was pretty sure by now Tess knew the truth. I was less sure what that meant for me. Would she be angry that we’d lied to her? Would she think I was just another dirty Hollywood type, doing anything to get ahead?
Wasn’t I?
I thought about Dad, back in Los Angeles, about the money it took to take care of him. I thought about the abandoned plans I’d had once for a completely different kind of life. And I thought about the deal I’d made with Juliet when the roles seemed to be drying up and the money with them. I’d had a reason for what I’d done—maybe Tess would understand.
I crossed the wide porch, ignoring the squawk of Chessy, who was chasing Jack across the lawn as he hovered just far enough away from me that I knew he was assigned to me for today, and I went inside to find Tess.
“Hey,” I said, stepping into the kitchen. She was wiping the countertop, cleaning things up after lunch.
She stopped moving and looked up to meet my eye, something quizzical and uncertain there. “Hey,” she said, and then opened the dishwasher and put a few things into the rack.
I leaned against the counter, watching her. I wanted to talk to her, but if I was being honest, I just liked watching her move. She was lithe and graceful, but she wasn’t lean like her sister. Tess was clearly a woman, with curves under her clothes that begged for exploration, and a hint of movement when she walked that was mesmerizing. I’d never had a type, I didn’t think, but my hands itched to fill themselves with those generous curves, and I was beginning to think I’d been living in a world surrounded by women who were definitely not my type.
“You’re making me nervous,” Tess said, finally stopping her movements around the kitchen and turning to face me. “Staring like that.”
“Sorry,” I said, brushing my hands against my thighs as if I could clear the nervous energy out of my body. “Is there anything I can help with today?” I tried. “For the party?”
Tess washed her hands slowly and seemed to think about her answer. “I took today off work so I could get things ready for Gran’s party, but I think things are pretty much set. Turns out I’m more organized than even I realized.” Her light laugh dissipated some of the nerves that were gathering in my stomach.
She ran a hand over her hair, smoothing up a tendril that had escaped over her shoulder and was hanging in her face. She looked at me a long minute, and little spikes of excitement skewered my gut, my muscles tightening as I tried to figure out what the look in her eyes meant.
“I’m sorry we lied,” I said. I wanted to banish the awkwardness between us, address the biggest issue so maybe we could move forward.
She nodded slowly, lowering her eyes and spreading her hands on the countertop, her slim fingers splaying wide on the dark granite. “Yeah,” she said, her voice almost a breath. “I get it. I mean, I guess I do.” She turned to face me, her beautiful face bunched with worry. “You and Juliet … you live these lives I can’t even begin to understand. Your world is just so different.” She smiled and shook her head as if to brush away her concerns.
“Not that different,” I said.
She squinted up at me, like she was trying to see inside me somehow, see why I would agree to lie. “It’s okay,” she said finally.
The topic seemed to be closed, even though there was a lot more I wanted to tell her. Maybe now, standing in her kitchen with an insane chicken shrieking just outside the door, wasn’t the right time. I hoped there would be more time for us. That she might give me a chance.
“Tess,” I said, lowering my voice and taking a step nearer. “I’d love to see more of the area. I wondered if you’d have time to show me around a little bit while I’m here.”
Her eyes widened and her breath hitched, making her gorgeous chest swell before she let out a quick huff of breath. “I mean … the party is tomorrow night, and …”
“So let me help you get ready. What can I do?”
“I mean … I guess it’s mostly done, really. The cake is done. The caterers will do the rest.”
“So do you have some time?” I should have stayed back, let her tell me she didn’t want anything to do with me, let her tell me that because I’d lied, whatever magnetic pull was between us meant nothing. But I couldn’t. I needed to see if she felt it too, now that I was free to try. I stepped closer still, until we were just six inches apart. I could feel the heat of her body against my own, and longed to close the distance, to pull her into my arms. “Please show me around,” I said, my voice low.
Her eyes didn’t leave mine, and I saw it the second she gave in, her body relaxing slightly. Relief washed through me. “Sure,” she said on a whispered sigh. “Okay.”
“Great,” I said, trying to push down the excitement building in my veins at the idea of a day spent at Tess’s side. “I’ll get ready.”
“Sure,” she said again, looking a little baffled as she shook her head lightly. “Okay. Fifteen minutes?”
“Perfect.” I was about to start for the stairs to get ready when Juliet walked in, spotted us inches from one another, and stopped in her tracks. “Everything okay in here?” Her nose wrinkled and she cocked her head to the side, trying to decipher the odd atmosphere, mistaking intimacy for trouble.
Tess turned back to the sink and rinsed her hands again. “Just planning for an afternoon of sightseeing. You in?”
I didn’t want Juliet to say yes, but schooled my expression into something friendly.
Juliet laughed lightly, but glanced over her shoulder back at the porch before responding. “I think I’ll pass. I’ve seen it all. Plus … if I go, we might get mobbed. Do you mind showing Ryan around on your own?”
I ignored the unspoken assertion that I was not so famous we’d get mobbed, mostly because my heart was busy swelling in my chest and my stomach had just filled with little trapeze artists at the thought of having Tess all to myself for the afternoon.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Tess said.
“I’ll look after Granny.” Juliet said. “You don’t mind, do you Ryan?”
Mind? I was trying to hide how very much I did not mind. “Not at
all,” I said. “It’ll give me a chance to get to know your sister a bit better and see a little more of Maryland.”
That strange look passed over Juliet’s face again, as if someone wanting to get to know Tess was actually a little confusing. But she covered it quickly with a smile. “Great.”
Fifteen minutes later, I stood on the front porch waiting for Tess. The front door opened, and Granny stepped out lightly, and gave me a direct look, one eyebrow raised. She wasn’t holding a shotgun or anything, but her look made it clear she had something to say to me. When the door swung shut behind her, she faced me, her thin arms crossed over her narrow chest, the pale dress she’d worn for the photos looking incongruous in place of her usual track suit.
“Tess says you two are going out for some sightseeing.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Don’t fuck with my granddaughter,” she said plainly.
Shock trickled through my chest like ice water. “Uh, no ma’am.”
“Don’t ‘no ma’am’ me. I know your type,” she said, pointing a bony finger at me. “Too big for your britches, full of yourself, maybe. Good-looking guy like you … well, you need to know that Tess is strong and smart and happy, just the way she is. And if you screw any of that up, you’ll have me to answer to.”
I wasn’t quite sure where this was coming from, but I tried to accept the warning and reassure this fierce old woman that I had no intention of hurting either of her granddaughters—not if I could help it. She still believed I was dating Juliet, as far as I knew. “Both of your granddaughters are incredible,” I told her. “I’m lucky to know them both.”
She eyed me then, crossing her arms again. “Well, you’ll have to pick one,” she said, and then turned on her heel and went back into the house.
Gran was just being protective, and I thought both Tess and Juliet were lucky to have her looking out for them. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, and I hoped I could get to know Tess and try to make my heart happy while keeping my agreement with Juliet—hopefully making both of our careers better.
I tried to shake the tension from my shoulders, swinging my arms as I waited for Tess, who appeared a minute later. Her hair was pulled back again, as it had been this morning, but now it was swinging behind her in a ponytail, with just a few tendrils around her face. She’d removed some of the makeup from earlier, and her cheeks glowed pink beneath those luminous eyes. My nerves stirred up again at the sight of her, my stomach flipping when she smiled at me. “Ready?” she asked.
“Definitely,” I said. I wanted to add something about how amazing she looked, how happy I was to get to spend some time alone with her, but I wasn’t sure I was completely off the hook for lying to her in the first place about Juliet. I decided to just be a good sightseer, go along for the ride and find out if the potential I felt could be something real.
“Did Granny say something awful to you?” She looked back toward the door.
“Not at all. She was just warning me that if I fuck with you she’ll kill me.” I followed Tess down the stairs to the driveway. She spun to look at me again, widening her eyes.
“Seriously?”
I lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. “It’s good to have someone looking out for you,” I told her.
“Hey,” she said. “Do we need to take one of those guys with us?” She angled her head toward where Jack was standing, holding the chicken to his chest.
I shook my head. “They’re Juliet’s. I don’t need them and they don’t work for me anyway.” I lifted a hand to Jack. “Be back in a bit!”
He waved at me and Chessy let out a squawk. I heard him shushing her as I followed Tess.
As we walked toward the garage, which was a three-bay building set apart from the house, I dropped a hand lightly on Tess’s lower back, keeping pace by her side. She stiffened at the contact at first, and I remembered too late that she’d asked me not to touch her. I took my hand away, whispering, “Sorry.”
Tess shot a glance up at me, as if trying to read my intention in my eyes. “It’s okay,” she said, and I hoped she could see some part of the way I might feel about her on my face. The gesture had been natural, almost protective.
We climbed into her mini Cooper and she maneuvered us out of the garage and down the long driveway between the fields. I fought the urge to touch her again, but admired the way her leg flexed and moved as she drove, her muscles stretching the dark denim. Soon we were trundling down curving country roads, huge green trees leaning toward us from either side. The sides of the road were shadowy and dark, a dense verdant wood stretching out on either side of us, twisting with vines and low brush. “It’s so different from California,” I said, thinking aloud.
“Yeah?” Tess asked, smiling.
“You’ve never been?” Surprise lifted my voice. I’d have thought she would have visited her sister at some point. I liked the idea that maybe someday I could be the one to show her California for the first time.
“Nah. That’s Juliet’s thing. I’m happy here.” It was a simple statement, and I turned to see Tess’s face glow as she said it. “This is home,” she added.
I nodded, wishing I knew what that meant. Home. I understood the idea, the concept. I’d just never really had a home myself, never felt like I belonged anywhere enough to stay. “Must be nice,” I said.
“What?” Tess asked, swinging her gaze to mine and then finding the road again.
“Feeling so at home that you don’t want to leave,” I said. “I don’t think I’ve ever had that.”
“Where did you grow up?”
“Out west. My dad traveled for work and got assigned to new territories a lot. We lived in Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico and Texas for a while. A little time in California. That was when I ran away.” This wasn’t something I shared with a lot of people. I let the information out and watched for her reaction.
Surprise lifted her brows and turned her mouth into a tiny circle. “Ran away?”
“I didn’t want to move again.”
“But your family …?”
“It was just me and Dad by then. Mom got tired of moving a long time before. I called her first, to see if I could live with her. She stayed in Nevada …” I trailed off. I hadn’t really intended to get into all this today, but it felt so natural to share it with Tess. I wanted her to know me, even the parts of me that weren’t glamorous and clean.
“But …?” Tess looked at me.
I forced my voice to sound light. “She figured she was all done parenting by then, I guess.” I swallowed hard, keeping the smile on my face. I stared out the window for a minute, remembering the hard finality in my mother’s words when she’d told me that she didn’t want me. It still hurt, tearing something inside me every time I thought of it. I sucked in a breath, and was thankful when I felt the air shift as Tess readied another question.
“So why are you doing it?” The question came out harsh, and Tess turned her head, glaring at me for a brief moment before turning back to look out at the road.
“Doing …?”
“Pretending to date my sister.”
I knew I’d have to explain myself at some point. Might as well get it out of the way. “It was her agent’s idea. I had a small role in the last film she did and there was chemistry. On screen, at least. The media liked it and some false rumors got started. Her agent thought we could capitalize on those and try to keep the sharks fed so they won’t go sniffing around where they shouldn’t.”
“You mean the divorce.”
“Right.”
“What’s in it for you, though?” She sounded less accusatory now, and I felt my nerves unspool a little bit.
“A part in her next film as the romantic lead, mostly. A career boost. A chance to be as successful as I’ve always thought I wanted to be.” It was the story I’d told myself over and over. But no matter how famous I’d gotten so far, it didn’t seem to change much. People knowing who you were wasn’t the same as someone really knowing you. I was nowher
e near as famous as Juliet, but the little taste I’d gotten so far tasted a lot like loneliness.
And the real answer wasn’t that I wanted success. It was that I needed money. Enough money that my dad could live someplace where he’d be safe and taken care of. Someplace nice.
Tess seemed to be satisfied with my half-answer, and she drove in silence now. I watched the dense woods fly by either side of the car, wishing I could bring her smile back.
“Any Sasquatch sightings down here?” I asked. “I can totally imagine catching a glimpse of him running through these dense woods.”
Tess’s laughter was sweet and honest, a sound that made my cells feel lighter, effervescent. “I don’t think so,” she said. “Though there is a car I see sometimes that’s all painted with camouflage and says something like ‘Sasquatch Response Team.’ I stood behind the guy who drives it at the grocery store once, and he told the clerk all about his important ‘work’ and gave her a card. When he’d left, she showed it to me. He’s a Sasquatch Specialist.”
“Oh my God, that’s amazing,” I said, wishing I could meet the guy. “And they say we get all the kooks in California.”
Tess pulled into a long paved driveway between the tall trees, and we passed a little tollbooth, where she paid a few dollars, though there was no one inside.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Point Lookout State Park,” she said. “It’s a state park right on the tip of the peninsula. A lot of people come down here to camp or hike or picnic. This was a civil war prison camp.” She said this the way most people announced that we’d be getting ice cream.
Happily Ever His: Movie Stars in Maryland, Book One Page 10
