The Maze

by Luciana Correa

Three successive knocks on my office door spooked me. My secretary's voice sounded behind the wood panel that slid softly. "Mister Armadi is here. He said he had an appointment with you, Leah."

  I lifted my eyes to the tall man standing behind my secretary.

  "Long time no see. You are even more beautiful. Our kids could never have a better gene bank. Between you and me, they will certainly be unmatched creatures."

  I examined him slowly. The man standing in my office was no stranger to me. He was one of those who had been chasing me and who had killed the room maid. I feared for my secretary. I needed to protect her from harm. "Go to the Mayor hall, please. See for the needed papers. I want to start the construction of the Clints' house next week, if possible."

  "That's okay, Leah."

  She left, closing the door quietly.

  Armadi was a tall man. He had black hair and steel-grey eyes. His body was strong.

  We stayed there, looking at each other. My heart was beating fast, my body was warm, sexually excited, but my mind was strangely calm. I pointed at a chair in front of my table behind which I sat down. The table was good as it could come. A barrier between the man who caused so strong and conflicting sensations in my body and me. I was in a maze of confusion and weirdness. "Have a seat. We need to talk."

  He smiled and a thrill ran my body, waking up all the nerves. Images of that smile flooded my mind. I put the heel of my hand on my chest, to hold my heart that was beating frenetically. The gentle voice kept in my memory didn't help to soothe my agitated nerves.

  "Your attitudes have caused me many problems, Leah. You couldn't have given my sons as if they were abandoned puppies. You let me down."

  I murmured, unable to control myself. "I'm afraid of them. I wasn't even able to breastfeed them. They are very much loved and Marcus is my brother; not a stranger. Don't criticize me, please."

  Yet inexplicably, the disapproving tone of that man was painful to me. I stared into that handsome male face.

  Feelings that I would never wait to see were clear in his eyes. Guilt, sadness, anguish. His eyes were hurt and expectant and it tore my mind open. Something inside me got unlocked with a sharp stab to my forehead. Memories lost a long time ago came to the surface.

  I saw my steps inside the genetic engineering lab inside the Amazon forest. I saw the steel cell where I had undergone tests and just like watching a movie I saw the artificial insemination in my body. Suddenly, unexpected feelings got mixed to the calm memories. My horror, my despair, and Beth helping me to run away through the window from the gigantic farmhouse. I felt my despair for our mistake when we went to the hotel to pick up my documents. I heard and felt my steps while we ran through the city. I muffled a scream with my hand when I revisited the cave and Beth, her neck snapped and crooked.

  Everything was turbulent, not ordered, but the death of the girl was a clear memory. Revulsion etched my words when I looked into Armadi's eyes and I challenged him. "You are one of the most important scientists of the world. Aren't you afraid I let everyone know what you have been doing?"

  He frowned surprised and his laughter was bitter and it made a shrill run all my body. "And what would you say? Would you expose our kids to public curiosity?"

  It was my turn to frown, confused. There was nothing to attract public curiosity to the children. Artificial insemination was everyday routine in many centers all over the world. Nothing special at that.

  Armadi kept talking, unaware of my troubled thoughts. "Those boys are the most amazing success of the genetics history of the human kind. Each of them is already showing out how different they are. If my research comes to public ears they'll worth less than guinea pigs. Would you destroy their little lives, Leah? What kind of mother are you, for God's sake?"

  His true anger made me step back and I fell in the chair. I shook my head, confused. "I can't understand. What is it you are saying?"

  He waved his hand nonchalantly. "I know everything there is to know about my boys, Leah. I have been following them closely. The pediatrician, the psychologist of the school, the teachers. They all give me a weekly report on the kids. Even though they know nothing about the reason for my worries. They believe it's only a father with deep pockets to pay for their silence. Our sons are great."

  I felt all the blood running away from my face. My hands got cold and clammy and I dried them up on the linen cloth of the pants I was wearing. "Have you been taking account of them all this time? Why have you come out only now?"

  He bent over the table; the handsome face was like a magnet, attracting me to him. His voice was seductive and his eyes were bright, full of hope. "We can be the perfect happy family, Leah. Although, your brother and sister-in-law won't be able to keep the boys the way it is now. But they'll be with the kids too, as our extended family. Our sons need special attention. Ana will help us take care of them and the most important, they'll help us protect and love them. You can keep up with your life just the way it is but you are mine. The three of you are mine. I won't accept to be kept away anymore. And you will be the dedicated mother you were born to be. It's time we give them sisters.

  I shook my head, confusion thrumming in it. "If I don't agree with it?"

  He rested on the chair, anger making hard lines appear on his enticing face. "I'll have the DNA test run; I'll prove I'm their father. You won't keep me away from my kids. The psychiatrist that followed your case can be a witness of your confusion of mind when they were born. The choice is yours. It's win-win for me but I'd rather avoid it all. His voice sounded again as an anguished plea. "Let's live together, build a home, a family for the kids."

  "My brother will see there's something amiss."

  Armadi chuckled. "What could be amiss? You are gonna tell him I'm the real father of the boys and I'll let Marcus and Ana share the care for the children. I'm generous, polite, handsome and rich. Why would they feel it strange? You got your memories back and remembered our love. Simple and romantic."

  I leaned on the chair. There was confusion in my mind yet, but of one thing I was quite sure. "You thought of everything."

  "You can't wonder how much I think of this situation"

  "I only think of Beth, who you killed."

  The shock on his face was evident, He shook his head. "No, Leah. I didn't kill anyone. She climbed a tree to hide from my men, fell and broke her neck. You haven't gotten your memories back. Now I can see it."

  The true mercy in his eyes filled me with doubts. There was truth in his words. I murmured, even more confused. "But I remember her in the cave. How could she be there if her neck had been snapped by falling?"

  He waved his head and held my hand on the table. "The drugs you needed to take to keep the pregnancy caused all this confusion in your mind. You couldn't have stopped taking the medicines. The collateral damage they caused was a kind of schizophrenia. Temporary, but very serious nonetheless. Beth worked as a maid in my house. She believed in the fantasies you created and a certain night you left through one of the windows. Beth stole one of the cars of the property and took you to the hotel so that you could pick up the things you had there and run away. You had been adamant at keeping the hotel room and I saw no harm in that. I couldn't have guessed that the side effects of those medicines together with the not easy pregnancy of our boys would cause so much suffering. When you ran away and stopped taking them, things got pretty worse. During that crazy flee the young woman died and you dragged her to that hole where I found you."

  I remembered the facts one by one and he was saying the truth. I looked into the stormy gray eyes and asked at last.

  "What is there so special about the boys, Armadi?"

  He pressed my hands softly. "Is there another thing you don't recall, love? The boys are the result of years of work in genetic research. Our sons are a kind of mix of many animals. The best genetics of each of them assembled in a human being. That's why you needed so many drugs to avoid abortion. They were something too strange to the human body."

&
nbsp; Tears were pooling in my eyes. "Why did you do that to me? Do you have any idea of my suffering? Do you know how much I still do? I was terrified of my own sons, Armadi. There are years I see myself as some kind of monster."

  The tears were running freely on my face and I couldn't hold a sob. He sighed and closed his eyes. His voice sounded tired and sad. "You agreed on everything, Leah. You and I were in love and the boys were part of our dream of a happy family. The drugs made you get confused and run away. Beth believed you and you and the boys nearly died because of that."

  I closed my eyes. The avalanche of memories that invaded me made me grab the table tightly. I remembered clearly of our first meeting in the university after a speech on environmental issues. I remembered the invitation to see the facilities he kept, the candlelit dinner, the night of love. I remembered the trip to the small town and his lab. I felt again the enormous admiration his work caused on me. The thrilling perspective of being part of his incredible dream; the invitation to be the mother of his kids. I had accepted eagerly to be the mother of the strongest and the healthiest kids the world has ever had but only because he would be the father. I was in love with him. Our sons were human beings with the best of many different creatures. Feline’s speed, gorillas’ strength, snake's resistance, hearing ability of bats to say just some. Everything topped with no disease genetically transmitted. I lifted my eyes to Armadi again. Not yet mine completely were the memories of our happy moments. I still needed to understand my insane state of mind, the fear following days of amazing happiness; the terrible maze in which my mind had gotten lost. I needed to know everything better. "What drugs are we talking about here? What made me forget and become terrified?"

  He smiled and for the first time since I had heard his voice on the phone, I could relax. My brain gave away the last memories and I knew I didn't need to be afraid. Not of Armadi, not of my own sons.

  "Our boys are very strong. You were taking drugs to avoid abortion. The pregnancy was too demanding and then came all the side effects. When the maid took you from my house she condemned you and the boys to death. I got half crazy, Leah. I love you and I was going to lose you and the boys at the same time. I went after you and Beth with some hands of the farm and Beth fell off that tree and died. The shock made your brain turn off. I needed to keep you in intensive care in the lab so that you didn't die and the boys either. I took you from that hole and looked after you until the deliverance time was at the door. It was when you started to come back, wake up for a few minutes, accept water, liquids in general. But you couldn't recognize me and kept calling your brother. I started to take off the drugs slowly and finally I could get you rid of them by the time the boys should be born. I was afraid you would never be the marvelous woman I had fallen in love with again and I felt guilty. Your brother was your safe haven and the name you were always calling. I decided to bring you to him. It was the hardest decision of my life. You needed to feel safe to have the babies. My presence, my house, everything was disturbing for you. Your brother was the right person to have around so I took you to him. He was an anchor to your mind, to make it stronger. I brought you to your apartment and called him. You tell me the rest."

  I shook my head. "Why did you wait so long to come for me?"

  "I couldn't risk your health anymore. Everything was too much of a test. I didn't want you suffering. I was afraid you would get crazy for good. I had to wait. You should be strong and only then I would try to get you and my sons back. Finally, I would be able to have a family. I want you, Leah. I have been following you, your life, and your career all along the way. I'm not a monster. You agreed on having our sons. We were building a family together. You asked me to make them look like me because you loved me."

  He opened a leather folder he had brought along and picked up some papers from it. He handed them to me. It was my signature. I had volunteered for the experience but it wasn't everything. Armadi and I were married. A funny excitement ran my whole body while I was holding the wedding papers. "Are we married?"

  "You gave me the honor of being your husband, Leah. The children are part of our plans for a family."

  "Genetic manipulation in humans is illegal."

  He smiled. "Yeah, that it is. If you denounce me, we are both going to jail and our babies will become guinea pigs."

  I sighed and cradled my head in my hands. "What do you want from me, Armadi?"

  His voice was a hopeful whisper. "Our family. The one we were supposed to have. We are married Leah. I want to try to gain you back, please."

  "You talked about having more kids; I don't want to be half crazy again."

  "I would never take you into that again, love. I've been working, Leah. The girls won't need those drugs. We are going to be happy. The boys know you are their mother. They will get to know me as their father now."

  My cell phone rang, interrupting the intense exchange. It was my brother.

  "Any news?"

  I examined the man in front of me who had his eyes full of love and hope. I had gotten my memory back but not only that. Love for the kind, gentle and affectionate man who one day had made me wish for a family was filling up the abandoned places in my heart. I was finally feeling the love for my boys too. I wasn't afraid of them any longer. My mind had found the way out of the maze where it had gotten lost.

  My voice was trembling when I answered the anxious question of my brother.

  "Yes. I remembered everything, Marcus." The surprised exclamation of my brother got me to smile. "We have a lot to talk. Can you and Ana go to my house tonight? Bring the boys."

  Marcus commented, in awe. "Are you sure you want to see the boys in your house?"

  "I'm not afraid of them any longer. I need to introduce you their father, my husband."

  My brother swore. "You have a husband Leah? What the hell have you done in that hell hole, Leah? Have you gotten married to a redneck?"

  I laughed, happy after so many years. "No, Marcus. He's a man who has studied a lot. He's a wonderful man. Rest assured. Everything is gonna be alright. Can I wait for you, Ana and my sons in the evening?"

  "Yeah, sure. Just keep my words. A wonderful man doesn't abandon his pregnant wife and disappear for five years. The hardest part of this day will be waiting for that story until night."

  My brother, the everlasting protector couldn't leave the opportunity of giving his opinion escape through his fingers. But that time he was wrong.

  I hung off the phone and smiled to the most successful scientist of the world. The one whose success would never be known. The genetic genius, my husband, father of my sons. "I've got no idea how I'm going to explain all this mess to Marcus and Ana. I can't guess their reaction. We may be running a serious risk of ending up in jail."

  "We got into that together. We will face the odds together. I’m sure that when they understand the risk for the boys they will do anything to help. They aren't ordinary kids and we need to be together to bring them up; teach them how to live under their exceptional characteristics. Your brother and his wife love them. As far as I could get, they have saved them from loads of suffering."

  I nodded, blushing. Marcus and Ana had given the kids I had been afraid of love and protection. Each genetic detail Armadi had put in them had been carefully discussed by us. My subconscious had reacted with extreme fear to the animals whose strength they had . That's why I was so afraid of them. There was an explanation for my actions. Knowing and learning about their birth was opening myself to a flood of feelings. The strongest was love. It was bubbling out of my heart like a water source, clear and fresh. The desire of being a true mother for them exploded inside me. I was conscious that giving them their real father was the right thing to do. Our mistakes had had terrible consequences but how bad can a person be if the only thing that he or she wants is to give the children the best they can? That had been the force behind our actions.

  My temporary craziness had been the consequence. I still wanted a family with Armadi. Together with
my memory had come the love for the man who was looking at me full of hope. I locked eyes with him and offered him my hand. I was ready to try again. "Thanks for waiting for me."

  My voice was shaky. Too many emotions in our renewed love.

  "Everything was my responsibility. When you ran away from me your life was in danger. Al the other things were just consequences. At first, I needed to manage the damage while you were getting better. Later on, I had no way to know you had never gotten your memory back. Your life was on the tracks, your profession successful. You had even left the therapy. There was no sign you had amnesia yet. During all these years I thought you hated me because of all the suffering I had caused. In my understanding, you were wrapping the boys in the same hate and didn't want them because of that. Only the changes the teachers, the school psychologist and the pediatrician told me made me get to the action. I could never allow any danger come to them. I was feeling let down but one thing never changed."

  "What?"

  "You are the mother I always wanted for my babies."

  He walked around the table and got close to me. I remembered our nights of passion and felt my face a million-degree hot.

  He smiled knowingly. “More memories?”

  I nodded. Armadi brushed his lips on mine tenderly. “I can wait, if that’s what you need. I just wish you told me it’s not necessary. Give me a chance right now, love. You are the Love of my life and I’m so sorry for your suffering. Those drugs were very dangerous. I should have been more cautious. Your pain is on me.”

  I shook my head and put my arms around his waist. “No, I agreed with everything. I knew the risks. Whatever had gone wrong I’m also responsible. Let’s do it all over again, Armadi. Let’s try to make our family.”

  He kissed my hair tenderly. “There won’t be any mistakes this time. We have already suffered a lot

  I agreed and rested my head on the strong chest of my kids’ father, my love. I had finally the part of my life that had gotten lost in the maze of my mind back. I wasn’t a monster who had rejected her own children. There was peace for me, finally.

  I went to the tip of my toes and kissed my husband, a real kiss. The first of the rest of our lives.

  The End

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  The Bear Cubs Loss

  The first book of

  The Twins

  The mystery series where Leah and Armadi’s kids are already teenagers.

  They will make you laugh, and solve mysteries with them will be fun.

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  The Bear Cubs Loss