by Shouji Gatou
If I could carve myself an extracurricular niche, that would propel me through the bitter hardships of school life. And I’d get paid! Two birds with one stone! With that decided, I thought, let’s get searching for a job. First, to the classifieds!
The classifieds site I visited was filled with job offers. Fast food! Family restaurants! Oh, what about a fashionable cafe?! I searched all around and applied for jobs at some nice-sounding places in the city. I’ve never worked a job before, but I’m sure I’ll work it out! I thought. Let’s do this, Shiina!
......It was a disaster.
Well, of course it was! Getting a job means going through an interview, and it was unreasonable to expect that someone who flubbed her class introduction could suddenly manage a job interview. Those prying eyes of the owners and the managers scared me, too. None of the places with appropriate conditions would hire me. So humiliating!
Another round of solo karaoke soothed my injured heart.
It had been a disaster, but I had to get back into the search. There was only one left that was appropriate; my final candidate was an amusement park.
It was a theme park in Amagi City, the city where I lived, known as Amagi Brilliant Park. When I was little (chronologically speaking), my parents took me there a lot. I loved their cute mascot, the Fairy of Sweets, Moffle. I still do, in fact... I always have to have my Moffle plushie with me at bedtime.
This must be destiny! I thought. Surely the reason none of the other jobs worked out was because fate was guiding me here!
Anyway, I applied immediately. I’d been through the interview → rejected pattern enough times by now that I’d worked up a pretty thick skin—the first time I applied to one of these, it had taken me about three hours of hesitation before I finally pressed “send.”
I received a response from the manager that same day and we decided on the date for the interview.
The day of destiny arrived. So as not to be late, I headed for Amagi Brilliant Park first thing in the morning!
Then I got on the wrong bus!
I got thrown out in some unfamiliar spot in the Tama Hills. I ended up arriving at the park on the verge of tears, two hours late. So, so late!
It was clear that I wouldn’t be hired now, but I thought I should at least apologize in person. All the other applicants seemed to have gone home, so I hesitantly poked my face into the interview room.
“Hey, where should I wash with the mop?”
“Give it to me. I’ll handle the washing.”
The two employees(?) inside were cleaning up the venue. I didn’t recognize the woman, but the man’s voice was familiar.
Amazing! He was that same handsome senpai who had claimed my lonely lunch spot! Was he working here at this park too? He was handsome, but scary. It made me nervous. On top of that, I was so, so late!
But, I screwed up my courage and spoke up: “U-Um... Is this where the interviews are being held?”
“Who are you?” the senpai asked. He looked exhausted. The interviews he’d been conducting must have been really taxing.
“Chujo Shiina. I applied for the part-time job... but I was late to my interview...” I did my best, and miraculously managed to get through my apology without flubbing one word. Although I wished I could have been this assertive in the real interview...
“We had an incident; interviews are delayed until tomorrow,” he told me. “We can’t hire you, though.”
“Wh-What?! “ I spluttered, “Why not?”
“Child labor laws. You’re too young.”
“B-But I...” I was so shocked, I reverted to my middle school pronoun, “atashi,” even though I should really be using the adult “watakushi.” So humiliating!
“The exit is that way,” he sighed. “Thanks for stopping by,”
I was dumbfounded. Part of it was being mistaken for a small child, but there was also the fact that he didn’t seem to remember me at all. Even a hint of recognition would do. “Hey, aren’t you the one who...” or “Hm? Haven’t we met before?” or something like that. Anything would have been better than nothing!
Usually when a man and woman meet each other at school under awful circumstances, their next meeting will come in a more heart-pounding situation. That’s how it always goes in manga, anyways. But there was no such sense of connection between that senpai and me.
He was treating me like someone he was meeting for the first time. Someone he couldn’t care less about. Like I was “Extra #3.” How humiliating!
I wanted to run out of the room wailing at the top of my lungs... but I’m in high school, not elementary school. I’m a JK (that makes three), so I gritted my teeth and walked away. It was very mature of me. Well done, Shiina!
On the way home, I once again engaged in some solo karaoke. I sang 10 Vocaloid songs. Then, when that didn’t soothe my wounded heart, I belted out twenty passionate enka songs. I could see the Tsugaru Strait in winter!
The karaoke parlor employee once again said, “You really are good. I mean it,” but I wished he would stop. I never know how to react to people patronizing me.
That night, in tears, I explained everything to my mother, and she let me sleep in bed with her for the first time in a while.
The next day, I overheard some girls talking during lunch break; it seemed that that rude second-year was named Kanie Seiya. The first years talked about him a lot, I guess, because of how handsome he was.
They talked about how he had excellent grades and incredible athletic ability, but that he also had an awful personality (to which I could attest), so he didn’t have any friends.
At the very least, it proved that I wasn’t alone in the way Kanie Seiya-senpai treated me. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that... if he was especially cold to me, that was at least better than being treated like an extra.
I also overheard them saying that Kanie-senpai tended to spend time with another girl in his grade, Sento Isuzu-senpai. There had been rumors that the two were dating a while back, but it seemed they weren’t true (although that was also just rumors, so I couldn’t be sure).
At lunch, that very same Sento Isuzu-senpai came to my class to ask to see me. I knew it was Sento-senpai immediately, because the girls in the seats around me whispered, “That’s Sento-senpai, the second year! Isn’t she so pretty?”
Everyone was staring at me, shocked that I was the one she was there to see. How embarrassing!
Anyway, it turned out Sento Isuzu-senpai was the person who had been cleaning up the interview venue with Kanie-senpai last night—she really was beautiful and had a great figure. It was hard to believe we were from the same country! I don’t typically swing that way, but I couldn’t help staring at her.
“Are you Chujo Shiina-san?” Sento-senpai asked, without even a greeting to break the ice. My mouth flapped uselessly. All I could do was nod. “I emailed you last night,” she said. “You haven’t seen it yet?”
“Ah... u-um...” That was right. I’d been so busy soothing my wounded heart that I hadn’t checked my emails at all last night. Anyway, about the only emails I ever got were promotions from my usual karaoke parlor and spam about making money by dating women past their prime. LINE, you say? What’s that? Is it tasty?
“You didn’t see it, then?” she asked.
“Um... um, no,” I answered.
“I apologize for our acting manager’s behavior at last night’s interview,” she said. “There were a number of incidents that left us all rather on edge.”
“R-Right...”
“I know this might be a little confusing after all that’s happened,” she sighed, “but...”
What could she be about to ask? I was so confused. Was it just an apology? Was it a declaration of rivalry, telling me to stay away from “my Kanie-kun”?
“Would you consent to a re-interview?” she asked. “If you still want the job, of course.”
“Huh? U-Um...” It was so strange. I had been late, after all. I could hardly complain if they rej
ected me.
“Of course, I call it an interview, but it’s just a formality,” she explained. “We won’t take up much of your time. Are you free at the moment?”
“Um... um... yes.” How frustrating. Why was it that “Um” and “Yes” were all I could say? At a time like this, I should work hard and try to say something else. Like “darshe zanna,” which means “thank you” in Farbanian. Well, better not to say that, actually. Sorry.
“All right. Come with me, then.” Sento-senpai started walking swiftly, and I ran to catch up with her. When we arrived in a deserted hallway in a corner of the east building, Kanie-senpai was there, waiting for us.
“Here she is,” Isuzu told him.
“Right,” he affirmed. “I still can’t believe you’re really in high school...”
Senpai looked me up and down closely as he spoke. It wasn’t the way a man looked at a woman; more the skeptical eye of someone trying to decide whether or not to buy a slightly questionable city bike in a hardware store. It was an awful way to treat someone, but he really was handsome. So annoying!
“Sorry about yesterday,” he told me. “Mistakes were made. If you still want the job, we can get the interview out of the way here.”
“Y-Yes?” I said.
“The trial period will last two weeks. During that time, you’ll get 750 yen per hour. You requested merchandise and food services, but we’d like to have you as an actor assistant. Saturdays will be full time,” he went on, “and weekdays, you’ll work the closing shift at least three days a week. If you accept those conditions, we’ll hire you. What do you think?”
“Um... ah, well...” I was so confused. Just what titles did Kanie-senpai and Sento-senpai hold? Wasn’t it a little bit bizarre that I had to decide whether to take the job or not right on the spot, in a place like this?
“Well?” he demanded. “Will you do it or not?”
“Um... ah... W-Wuh...”
“You won’t?”
“No. Yes. Ah, um...”
“Which one? Out with it.” Kanie-senpai was clearly getting annoyed. It was cruel of him to push me like this, when I was already struggling to answer. So annoying!
“Ah... Ah... Alboot!!” I shouted at the top of my voice. I’d flubbed it again. So humiliating!
Incidentally, I had meant to shout, “I’ll do it!” This felt like my last chance to change myself. If I turned it down now, I would be consigning myself to a miserable, ashen high school life. A repeat of middle school... that was one thing I wanted no more part of. Kanie-senpai was very unpleasant, and Sento-senpai was inscrutable and kind of scary, but I couldn’t run away. I mustn’t run away.
They both stood there dumbfounded for a moment, maybe because I had shouted so loud.
“Alboot?” he asked. “What does that mean?”
“I wonder if it’s some kind of dialect?” Sento-senpai whispered.
“Sounds a little like Arabic,” Kanie-senpai whispered back.
I realized I would have to try again.
“...I-I’ll doobit! No, I’ll boodit! I... I’ll boo my dest!” I was trying to say, ‘I’ll do it, I’ll do my best,’ but for some reason it came out as ‘I’ll boo my dest.’ My language center was utterly hopeless!
Sento-senpai at last seemed to catch on, and threw me a lifeline. “Are you trying to say that you’ll do it?”
“Y-Yes...” I said, relieved.
“All right then, we’ll start you up this weekend.” With that, Kanie-senpai seemed about to leave, but he stopped and spoke just once more. “That reminds me... Have we met somewhere before?”
“Y-Yes...” I told him. “Um, on the sta—”
“Ah, never mind. Don’t be late again.” He turned around and left without even listening to my answer.
Why did you even ask me, then?! I wondered. So, so annoying!
After watching him walk away, Sento-senpai spoke to me again. “I know exactly what you’re thinking.”
I don’t know why, but in that moment, I felt like she and I could really get along. Anyway, that’s how I got a job at Amagi Brilliant Park.
2
I started my job at the park that weekend.
I arrived at work at 9:00 a.m. The staff (referred to as “cast,” apparently) had to pick up their ID cards from the security center next to the employee gate. The head of security, Mr. Okuro, was a little bit of an oddball, and I felt a sort of affinity with him.
Then, just as Sento-senpai had told me to do in her email, I headed right for the conference room, where the new employee orientation was supposed to take place. Inside were about twenty brand new hires, just like me. The majority were in college and/or in their 20s, with me being the only high school student there as far as I could see.
They all seemed very nervous. I was petrified, too—understandable, I hope, since it was my first job—but there was one person there who seemed strangely relaxed.
She was a pretty older woman who gave off real calming vibes. She talked to me a little (probably because I happened to be sitting next to her) and explained that her name was Adachi Eiko and she used to work in AVs.
Wait, I thought. Wait a minute here. Did she say AVs? AVs, as in... AVs? That’s not short for Armored Valkyries, right?
“Everyone always seems so surprised when I tell them about it. I wish I knew why...” Eiko-san sighed, ignoring my own stunned reaction.
It was incredible. Was this what it meant to be out in the world? Just sitting next to someone in her profession, I felt like I had grown up a lot. Like I’d reached a place no one else in my school had ever been. So grateful to her!
Several minutes later, after everyone had arrived, another girl came in late and sat down next to me. She looked about my age, and I guessed she was the only other high school student there.
She had short hair and a real bubbly energy to her. She introduced herself as Bando Biino, said “looking forward to working with you!” and offered me a handshake. I just sat there, stammering. I wasn’t nervous because we had only just met—it was because she was dressed in pajamas, and the hand she was offering me was stained with fresh blood.
“Orientation is so important!” she explained. “That’s why I snuck out of the hospital! I guess it caused my wound to open up again... Hehehe...”
Don’t “hehehe” about that! I silently cried. Your whole side is sopping red! Someone, please call an ambulance! This girl is crazy! Her face was growing paler and paler by the minute.
“I-I’m fine! This is... nothing. Just want to... work... blurgh...”
Before I could think of what to do, Biino-san toppled over. Some members of the cast came running and carried her off on a stretcher.
While the rest of us sat there, trembling in fear, the chief of security made an announcement: “Sorry, sorry about that. Um, we’ll start the orientation soon, but please rest easy in the meantime.” Then he wandered off. There was no way we could rest easy, of course. (Eiko-san was quite relaxed. She really did have nerves of steel.) Several of the newcomers even stood up, pale-faced, and left the room. I totally got how they felt; I would have done the same, if I could.
Before long, our trainers arrived. Trainers were experienced cast members in charge of getting new employees settled in. They would teach us the bare minimum of what we needed to know to work at the park.
“Atten-SHUN!” a sharp voice cried, as three mascot characters entered.
One was a mouse-like mascot with a rotund body like a wombat. This was the Fairy of Sweets, Moffle!
One was a sheep-like mascot covered in pillowy white wool. This was the Fairy of Music, Macaron!
One was a dog-like mascot covered in fluffy down, carrying an adorable little pouch. This was the Fairy of Flowers, Tiramii!
Their feet squeaked cutely as they ran to form a neat row in front of us.
“Wow!” Me and the other newbies launched into a round of applause. What else could we do? These were Amagi Brilliant Park’s headliners, after all! Even if
it was just a minor amusement park, you couldn’t ignore that kind of star power!
They must have sent them here to welcome and soothe the nervous newcomers on our first day, I thought. How considerate! I was so grateful! Were they going to dance for us? Offer souvenir photos? We were all on the edges of our seats as we waited to find out!
But while we applauded them—
The Fairy of Sweets, Moffle, threw the whiteboard against the wall. It hit it and fell with a bang and a clatter. “Quiet! Shut your traps, fumo!” His voice dripped malice. It lacked even a trace of warmth.
A hush did indeed fall over the room—although it was less that he had told us to be quiet, and more that we couldn’t quite square the “Fairy of Sweets” image with the words coming out of his mouth.
“...Something amusing you, fumo? You must be amused, because I see you all smiling! You still think you’re customers, is that it?”
Nobody knew what to say.
Moffle continued: “Listen up, maggots. The minute you set foot in this land of hopes and dreams, you cease being human, fumo! You’re the lowest forms of life on Earth, fumo! You are nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit, and I am gonna ride you day and night until you learn how to interact with the guests! You will not laugh! You will not cry, fumo!”
It was a surprise to see Moffle talking at all, but the foulness that spewed from his mouth just took it over the top.
“We are gonna break you, we are gonna wash you out, and we are gonna take pleasure in seeing that happen, fumo! If you puke on our park’s legacy, you will earn our contempt! You are gonna wish you never came here, fumo! Understand? ...Now, time to start training, fumo.”
“Everyone, line up! Stand at attention, ron!” The Fairy of Music, Macaron, shouted. Everyone rushed to line up—I just barely made it in time, myself—except for one man, who seemed about college age. He looked like the superficial, slacker-y type.
