by Shouji Gatou
“Yes... Ah, but do not tell the others...”
“I won’t, of course. Don’t worry.”
“Please...” Latifah’s slender hand squeezed Isuzu’s tightly.
You’re nervous, aren’t you? Isuzu realized. Poor thing. Presumptuous as it may be, allow me to rub your shoulder.
“Thank you...”
They spent about thirty minutes this way in the bedroom designed to look like the one in the royal palace of Maple Land. Eventually, Latifah went to sleep. Her hand went limp, released Isuzu’s, and fell down to the bed with a rustle of silk.
Isuzu sneaked back out into the garden and found Seiya standing there, his arms crossed, and facing away. He was looking down at the park from the observation deck, silent and still.
“She’s asleep,” Isuzu told him.
Seiya heard her, but he didn’t respond immediately. He seemed to be thinking deeply about something. This was a side of him she saw from time to time—a forbidding aura that rejected all kind words.
“Is this because of the curse?” he asked.
“Yes. It happened several times last year as well,” Isuzu admitted. “But this year...”
“It’s more frequent?”
“...Yes.”
“It seems park attendance alone isn’t enough,” Seiya said melancholically. “I guess we won’t be out of the woods until we solve the root problem. I just... I don’t know how to do it. I don’t have the slightest clue.”
He sighed.
It was a heavier sigh than Isuzu had ever heard from him.
●
In accordance with his declaration that he was going to “stuff him full of onions,” Moffle dragged Tiramii to the bar, Savage, and ordered three helpings each of nikujaga and Shamo chicken tataki (which came with a garnish of raw onions).
“Go on! Eat, you mongrel!” he commanded.
Tiramii knitted his brow. “Huh? Wait, is this about that thing... that it’s not good for dogs to eat onions, mii?”
“That’s right, fumo. So get eating. If you survive, I might forgive you. If you die, well, it’s one less mongrel in the world. That’s how angry I am with you, fumo!!”
“Mii...” He’d assumed he might try begging for his life, but Tiramii just split his wooden chopsticks and began shoveling the nikujaga into his mouth—onions and all. “Hahmph, mmph... delicious. Delicious, mii!”
“Eh?” Moffle exclaimed.
He then sprinkled garlic-poached soy sauce on the Shamo chicken tatami (with raw onions) and wolfed it down. After stuffing six people’s worth of food into his stomach, Tiramii let out a burp and a sigh and gulped down his highball. “Onions are scary. Wow, now alcohol is scary, mii.”
“...... Ah, you seem fine. What a boring payoff, fumo...”
Moffle sank in his seat. Macaron, beside him, leisurely downed his beer.
“Well, we’re fairies,” he observed. “It’s not like we’re real dogs or sheep, ron.”
“Ah, true enough...” Moffle acknowledged.
“Besides, remember when we went out for jingisukan recently, ron?
“Right. That was mutton, fumo...”
“If you think about it, it’s cannibalism, ron! Bwahaha!” The sheep mascot snickered in amusement as he chewed on his yakitori. Moffle felt vaguely like he should object to the sight, but he wasn’t quite sure where to start.
“Now... enough about Tiramii’s punishment. Let’s do a performance review for our latest assignment, fumo,” Moffle declared, switching gears.
“Mii. Latest assignment?”
“You know, fumo. The Seiya stand-in plan. We got lucky that time, but it could have just as easily ended in tragedy, fumo.”
“Ah, actually...” Macaron was about to say something, but silenced himself.
“What, fumo?”
“Nothing, ron. I’ll tell you some day.”
“Moffu?”
Just as things were feeling awkward, Tiramii, messing around with his smartphone, spoke up: “Ah! I invited Muse-chan over LINE and she’s coming right now, mii. She’s bringing the others, too, mii!”
Muse was the Fairy of Water for the attraction Aquario, which had been getting remarkably popular lately. She’d always worn a very revealing costume, but thanks to the PV that had gone viral on the Internet in March, rumor had it that she’d been getting a lot more of “those” kinds of customers. “The others” Muse was bringing were her co-stars from that attraction.
“Who are the others?”
“Fairy of Wind Sylphie-chan, Fairy of Earth Kobory-chan, and Fairy of Fire, Salama-chan.”
“Ahh...” Moffle and Macaron both let out a little groan.
“What’s wrong, mii? They’re all cutie pies.”
“Well, Sylphie and Kobory and Muse are all fine,” Moffle began, “but...”
“Salama’s the trouble, ron. You can’t say anything when she’s around.”
Tiramii just tilted his head in confusion at this description of Salama. “Huh? Why not? She’s got a great rack and she’s nice. She’s a good girl, mii!”
“What?! Have you forgotten, ron? What she did on Twitter last time...”
Moffle knew just what he was talking about. It had happened last year. The Fairy of Fire, Salama, had written some nasty tweets about a guest; a family that had been exceptionally rude. “Shut the hell up while we’re performing. Also, die,” it had read. She’d also uploaded a picture of the family (without blurring the faces), accompanied by the words “never come back.”
The tweet had exploded, naturally, and the park was soon bombarded with complaint emails. Isuzu had been the acting manager at the time; she’d uploaded an apology to the official site, along with a press release saying Salama had been suspended, and they’d managed to calm things down, but...
“What’s wrong with flaming? I’m the Fairy of Fire, after all,” Salama had said to the executives after her suspension was given to her.
“You’re not sorry at all, fumo...” Moffle had told her then.
“Yeah, she wasn’t sorry at all, fumo...” he recalled now.
Moffle and Macaron folded their short arms and nodded succinctly.
“...Maybe it’s not my place to say, as I’ve hit customers myself... but that woman is bad news, fumo. If she thinks she’s in the right, she doesn’t give the slightest mind about how others might feel. It’s a mystery to me why she wasn’t fired, fumo.”
“I don’t get it either, ron. I wish she’d just quit already...”
It was then that Tiramii spoke. “Y-You two. Look behind you, mii...”
They turned back and saw four beautiful girls standing at the entrance to the tatami room. Muse, Sylphie, and Kobory were all smiling awkwardly. Just behind them was the Fairy of Fire Salama, who was silently tapping things into her smartphone.
“Um, sorry we’re late. We just got here...” Muse spoke for the four of them. She was wearing ordinary street clothes.
“H-Hey... Thanks for coming, fumo. Make room, guys. ...You can sit over there, fumo.”
The three mascots made room. The four women sat down. Amidst the awkward atmosphere, Salama, the person at issue, said nothing. She just silently continued tapping things into her smartphone.
“Um... did you hear, ron?”
“Well... yes. Er...” Muse responded.
“U-Um... we were just blowing off steam, fumo. I hope you won’t take it too hard...”
“But I will, Moffle-senpai,” Salama spoke for the first time. “This is unjust treatment. It’s workplace harassment. It requires retaliation. The text of my complaint is already written out. Shall I read it to you?”
“P-Please don’t, fumo.”
“...... ‘I arrived at a drinking party for work and found Moffle, Macaron, and Tiramii there badmouthing me. I thought they were adults. Super gross’ is what it says. Now I just have to press the send button.” Salama held her smartphone in the air like it was the detonation switch for a bomb.
“C-Calm down, ron. We’re sorry, okay? Ple
ase don’t—”
“Tell us your conditions, fumo! We’ll gladly negotiate—”
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m the Fairy of Fire. Flaming is my specialty. It’s time you all learned that!”
“Fumo!”
Click.
The scene descended into chaos.
Salama, pressing “send.” Moffle and the others leaping at her, hoping there was still time to delete it. Snatching the phone back and forth, upending the table. Tiramii taking advantage of the commotion to cop a feel on the other girls and getting stabbed by ice picks, which made things even more chaotic... It continued on like that, right up until they all realized that smartphones didn’t get a signal in the tatami room.
Let’s Visit a Magical Realm
One business holiday, just after noon in the office...
“Seiya. I need this stamped for approval, fumo,” Moffle said, holding out a repair request form for the House of Sweets.
Seiya, who was at his wits’ end dealing with the new renovation plans for May, glared at Moffle in annoyance. “So, why did you come to me? Stamping forms is Sento’s job. Though actually, I haven’t seen her this morning... What’s that secretary of mine up to?”
“Moffu. Isuzu’s traveling today, it seems. She wrote it on the whiteboard out front, fumo.”
“What? ...Ah, you’re right. I didn’t notice.”
Seiya peeked into the secretary’s room, which was separated from the rest of his office (although “office” felt like too strong a word for the bare-bones room) by a faded partition, near the door. On the whiteboard of the far wall, there was a message from Isuzu: “Traveling today. Destination: Maple Land Senate, Office of Rep. Yisuzurch. Returning tomorrow.”
That’s right, Seiya thought. She said something about this yesterday... Something about going to see how things were in Maple Land, and it having to do with the future of the park.
“Anyway, just stamp it. I need to finish work early today so I can get croquettes at Saigo-tei in Komazawa, fumo.”
“I don’t know if I can... I told you, Sento usually handles that kind of thing,” Seiya explained. “I can’t stamp anything unless she confirms it personally.” In fact, it was within his authority as acting manager... but he knew that if he stamped it himself, he’d get an earful about it later. He was already at his wits’ end with the various problems he was dealing with; he didn’t need to deal with Isuzu’s scolding on top of that. “Can’t you just do it tomorrow?” he asked.
“No, fumo. The Mogutes are getting on my case about it. I want to submit it today, fumo.”
“Hmm... But Sento’s not here, so there’s nothing to be done.”
“Maybe not, fumo...” Moffle pulled out his smartphone and made a call, probably to Isuzu. He waited a little while, but eventually sighed and hung up.
“Can’t get through?”
“Looks like she’s out of service range, fumo. Well, there are plenty of things that block reception between the mortal and magical realms. No Saigo-tei for me today, I suppose. I’ll just go and ask her myself, fumo.”
“Where are you going?” Seiya asked curiously.
“Where do you think? To Maple Land, fumo.”
“You can just... go there?”
“Yep,” Moffle answered without hesitation.
Come to think of it, Seiya had heard talk of “magical realms” in the vaguest of terms before, but he had no actual idea of how people came and went between Maple Land and here. It almost seemed strange that he’d never wondered about it before.
“Can an ordinary person like me go to Maple Land?” Seiya found himself asking. Not even he could resist being intrigued by such a notion.
“Yeah, you should be able to go if I’m with you. ...You want to come with me, fumo?”
“No, I have work... Well, actually, maybe I should...” It occurred to him that he’d cleared up all his most urgent tasks in the morning. And since he was at his wits’ end with everything else, maybe this would serve as a good pick-me-up. “Okay, let’s go,” Seiya decided. “It might be useful to get an idea of what sort of place it is.”
“All right, fumo. Come with me.”
Seiya told a subordinate in the office that he would be out for the day, put on his jacket and followed after Moffle.
Seiya was a realist, but he saw no reason to doubt the existence of magical realms at this point. Is there some kind of inter-dimensional gate underneath the park? he wondered. Will we read from some kind of magic book, then be wreathed in light and teleported?
“Moffle-san. Where are those documents I asked about, mogu?” Taramo, chief of the Mogute Clan, asked as they left the general affairs building.
“We’re heading to Maple Land to get them stamped, fumo. We’ll be back late, but I think I’ll be able to hand it in today.”
“Thanks a lot, mog.”
“Moffu.”
Seiya stayed quiet and followed Moffle. The mascot punched his time card at the service gate, then left the park. He put on his Lalapatch Charm and headed for the bus station. He waited for a while. The bus came, and he got on board and swiped his prepaid card.
Seiya was confused. This wasn’t going how he expected. “Hey, Moffle.”
“What, fumo?”
“Why are you getting on a bus if we’re going to Maple Land?”
“...? Because the station’s too far away to get to without one, fumo.”
“All right, I think I’m missing something... How do you actually get to a magical realm?” Seiya asked.
“Moffu. Let’s see... You go from Amagi Station to Inaba-zutsumi Station, and change to the JR Nanbu Line there, fumo. Then you take that to Musashi-kosugi, change to the Tokyu-Toyoko Line...”
“Wait one damned minute!”
“What? You don’t like the Nanbu Line, fumo?” Moffle furrowed his brow.
“Not that! Isn’t Maple Land a magical realm? Shouldn’t there be a more... magical way of getting there? Traveling through a mysterious gate, or using a teleporting spell, or...”
“Huh? What are you talking about? That’s fantasy. Fantasia. I think someone’s been reading too many light novels,” Moffle smirked. It was extremely galling behavior, coming from a literal fairy like him.
“Ugh...”
“Anyway, once we’re on the Toyoko Line, we’ll get off at Yokohama, fumo. Then... ah, forget it. Just follow me, fumo.”
As if realizing that it would be too much trouble to explain, Moffle fell silent and started messing with his smartphone. He was playing FreeCell with his big, plush paws. Seiya started to feel silly about asking him any more questions, so he just took out his own tablet and started reading through some old park documents.
Soon, the bus arrived at Amagi Station. They took the Tohto Line two stations to Inaba-zutsumi Station, and from there changed to the JR Nanbu Line. It was around 3:00 p.m. on a weekday, which meant the train car was empty and they got seats easily.
“Moffu... Moffu...” As they approached Musashi-mizonokuchi Station, three stations before Musashi-kosugi, Moffle started to fidget.
“What’s wrong?”
“I guess I should do it, fumo...” Suddenly, as if making a decision, Moffle got off the Nanbu Line at Musashi-mizonokuchi Station.
Seiya was suspicious: this wasn’t where you’d get off if you were heading for Yokohama. “Hey, weren’t we supposed to get off at Musashi-kosugi?”
“Just shut up and follow me, fumo!”
They changed to the Den-en-toshi Line at Musashi-mizonokuchi towards Shibuya and went a few stations down, getting off at Komazawa University Station.
“Why are we getting off here?” Seiya asked.
“Just do it!” Whatever it was, it sounded serious. It was rare to see Moffle so frazzled about anything—maybe there was some special ritual he needed to do in advance so that they could make it to Maple Land. “It’s important, fumo.”
“......” Seiya didn’t know how to reply.
Th
ey walked up the stairs from the underground station, turned northward at Highway 246, took a few dozen steps, and then arrived at a deli-style shop. The sign read, “Saigo-tei Croquettes.” Moffle entered the shop and placed his order with a scowl. “Snack croquettes. Two sets... no, three sets, fumo.”
“Yes, sir,” the store employee said. “We’ll fry them up now, if you don’t mind waiting.”
“Yeah, I’ll wait.”
“Hey!” Seiya, who had so far been quietly following to see what he’d do, now exploded. He couldn’t believe it was just a personal errand.
“...What? I was planning to come here after work from the start, fumo. Latifah’s croquettes are the best, but the snack croquettes here are about on par with hers, fumo. The important thing is that the coating’s not too thick—it’s close to the texture of homemade, but there’s also amazing variety. Twelve snack croquettes, each with different fillings, fumo... and the Mediterranean salt croquettes are the best of all,” Moffle explained insistently.
“Fine, whatever...” Seiya grumped.
“You should buy some for the trip too, fumo. They’re delicious.”
“Uh, I don’t really...”
“Don’t come asking me for any later; I won’t share.”
“I told you, I don’t want any!”
They were forced to wait over ten minutes. At last, Moffle received his piping hot pack of croquettes, and they resumed their journey, changing trains a few more times before they arrived at Yokohama Station.
“Hmm... Yokohama, eh?” Seiya looked around with interest. People living in western Tokyo rarely came to Yokohama unless they had work or school there, since otherwise, they could do pretty much any shopping they needed in Shinjuku, Ikebukuro, or Shibuya. Of course, there was nothing special about the station—it was just a large station, the sort you’d see in any major city.
“Stop goggling like that, fumo. You look like a country bumpkin.”
“So?” Seiya asked. “Where are we going next?”
“Platform 11,” Moffle responded shortly. “Come along.”
“Okay. ...Huh?” Seiya suddenly noticed the station diagram on the wall next to him. The platforms displayed there only went up to 10.
