by L A Cotton
Jarrod had said he was reformed, and I didn’t want to believe it, but the guy standing in front of me wasn’t the same guy who had hurt Ana. It didn’t mean I was ready to forgive him, though. I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive anything where Ana was concerned.
“Do this for me and we’re even. Not friends, hell, not even acquaintances, but we’ll be even.”
“It’s more than I deserve,” he said in a low voice.
Ignoring his admission, I said, “Text me when it’s done.”
Landon nodded and jammed his hands in his parka. “I’ll be in touch.”
Dennis remained silent beside me as we watched him leave the cabin. The second Landon disappeared out of the door, he turned to me and said, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“It’s the only shot I have.”
“And if it backfires?”
I closed my eyes and pictured Ana, and a pain spread through my chest. The possibility of never seeing her again, never kissing her, loving her. It was too much to bear, and I forced the thoughts from my mind, pulling on the blank mask I needed to get me through the next few weeks.
“Promise me you’ll look out for her.”
“Jackson, come on, let’s be-”
“I’ve made my choice. She’ll understand.”
One day, after all of this was over, I hoped that Ana would understand my decision.
I just hoped I’d be the one making her see it was the right thing to do.
The next week passed in a repetitive blur. I worked out daily with Dennis, who was sticking around until Christmas Eve. I’d told him to go home and spend time with his family like the rest of the guys, but he didn’t. I think he was too scared to let me out of his sight, like he thought I might do something stupid—even more stupid than the plan that was about to be set into motion. When we weren’t working out, we hung out at Dante’s with Cal playing pool, anything to keep my mind off Ana. I’d texted her, tried calling, and I even resorted to sending her an email, but she didn’t respond. Dennis said I needed to give her time, so that was what I intended to do. I’d get Seattle out of the way and then I’d rectify the situation with Ana.
“So I’ll see you in four days?” Dennis slammed the trunk on his truck and folded his arms across his chest.
“Seriously, take some time out, man. Chill with your family. I’m fine. It’s going to be fine.”
“You’re about to walk into the lion’s den with a flare, and you’re telling me it’ll be fine? I wish I had your confidence.”
I wasn’t confident; I was terrified. Every time I considered what I was about to do, bile rose up in my throat and I wanted to puke. But it was now or never.
“I’ll text you.”
“You’d better. And Marcus? He’s out of the picture?”
I nodded, the firestorm igniting inside me again. “He’s taken Briony away for the holidays, his attempt at making things right.”
“Didn’t you get an invite?”
“I turned it down, made my excuses. He bought it.” Or he knew and was aligning his players as I was.
“Be careful, okay?” Dennis opened the driver’s side door and climbed in. “And Merry Christmas. I’ll see you in four days.” He slammed the door and fired up the engine, and for the first time in a long time, I was alone.
My bag lay by the front door. I’d told Perkins he could pick me up from the house. The campus was virtually closed up for the holidays, and I wanted to call Otis before I left to see how he was doing.
The number V had given me connected and I waited.
“Hello,” a gravelly voice came across the line.
“Old man, how is life on the inside?”
“I’m in the hospital, Jax, not incarcerated,” he shot back with an irritated tone, and I was glad to hear his treatment hadn’t rid him of his snarky humor.
In fact, it was so good to hear Otis’ voice that I laughed.
“It’s good to hear your voice.”
“Boy, what trouble are you in now? I’d hoped after our talk last time, you’d have honored this dying man’s wish and be long gone by now.”
“Otis,” I warned. “You know it’s not that simple.”
He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Can’t be any more simple if you ask me. You have Ana, what more could you want. Get the hell out of that godforsaken town before it drags you under just like it did your pa.”
Not wanting to get into another argument with him, I changed the subject. “So how are they treating you? I hope you’re not upsetting the nurses too much?”
“Pfft, V won’t let them near me. She’s still all up in my… yes, it’s Jax,” his voice faded out as if he was covering the receiver. “No, I’m not telling him that, tell him yourself. No, you can’t talk to him because I’m not done. For the love of Jesus, stop yapping at me, woman.” There was a crackle down the line and then, “Jax? Still there? Sorry, V sends her love. Says she hopes you’re taking real good care of her girl, Ana.”
“Hi V.” I smiled against my cell phone imagining the scene in the hospital room. “But you’re being looked after? Everything’s okay, right?”
“Jax, stop worrying. I’m fine; I’m not going anywhere, yet. Doctor seems to think the chemo could do some good. How is Ana, anyway? Is she there? V would like to say hi.”
“She’s, hmm, she’s busy right now, Otis, but she sends her love and wants you to get better real quick so we can come visit. Okay?”
Otis grumbled something unintelligible before saying, “Sure thing, Jax, and we’re sorry we can’t put the two of you up this year. We’ll miss you both.”
A car sounded in the distance and I peered out of the window. It was Perkins’ Chevette.
“We’ll miss you too, old man. Tell V I love her, and I’ll call again soon.” I hit end and pocketed my cell forcing down the huge lump forming in my throat.
There was no time for my emotions to get the better of me. Perkins was here, and I had shit to take care of.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ana
“So, how’s Oreo? Missing me yet?”
As if he could hear Sarah down the line, Oreo brushed against my arm, rubbing the soft fur along his back over my skin. The cat meowed and curled into a ball in my lap.
“I miss that damn cat like crazy.”
“He’s fine. I think he’s finally realized I’m not leaving him anytime soon. Listen, thank you so much for this. I didn’t know who else to call.”
“Ana, we’ve been over this, you don’t need to apologize. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to.” She hesitated. “How are things? Have you spoken to him yet?”
I inhaled a deep breath to ground myself. “No, I need more time, and he needs to do whatever it is he needs to do.”
“Okay, well, stay safe. You’re doing me a big favor by housesitting. My sister is allergic to cats so I’m not sure Oreo would have been her favorite houseguest. My flight gets in on the third. Like I said before, stay for as long as you need.”
“Thank you. Enjoy your time with your sister. Merry Christmas, Sarah.”
“Merry Christmas, Ana.”
The line went dead and I snuggled Oreo closer. For a whole week, it had just been the two of us and the constant beeping of my cell phone alerting me to a new text or missed call. After four days, I switched it off, needing space.
Jackson was going to hit the fan when he found out I hadn’t left Chastity Falls and that I was, in fact, staying in the outskirts of town in Sarah’s empty house. When he’d asked me to go to Fort Pierce, I felt betrayed. After everything we’d been through, we were supposed to face this together, and I really thought he was letting me in, but all he had been doing was preparing to push me out. I’d seen the signs, but I just thought he was getting ready to do something stupid. I didn’t think he’d want to send me away. My heart hurt, but more than that, I was pissed.
When I’d thrown a bunch of clothes into my bag and called a cab, I had no idea where I was
going. All I knew was that I wasn’t returning to Fort Pierce. So I called the only other person I knew in town. Sarah. Thankfully, she hadn’t left and was more than happy to let me housesit and watch Oreo for her while she got out of town and away from whatever was headed our way.
I wasn’t going anywhere because this wasn’t just Jackson’s fight. It was mine, too.
And I refused to lose him.
Not to Marcus.
Not to O’Connor.
And especially not to his own demons.
I glanced at the clock again. It was five past the hour. He was late. I was taking a huge risk by calling Dennis—and things would be awkward given I hadn’t seen him or Cassie since the party—but he was the only other person I trusted with this, and the only other person I knew who was still in town.
My hands clutched my cell phone, ready to text him again, but a loud knock sounded on the door. I’d been waiting for it, but it still startled the shit out of me and my heart almost jumped into my mouth.
“Hi,” I answered breathlessly, yanking the door wide open to Dennis.
“What the fuck, Ana?”
“Nice to see you, too,” I muttered to myself, following Dennis into the house as he stormed past me.
“Jackson is going to flip his lid when he finds out you’re still in town.”
Something in me snapped. Sick of everyone treating me like a naïve child, I curled my hands into fists and planted them on my hips. “Well, he isn’t here, is he? He tried to send me away like a fucking child, Dennis. After everything.”
Dennis flinched, but frowned at me. “He asked you to go because of everything. Don’t you see everything he does is to keep you safe? To protect you? He should have let you go, Ana. In freshman year, he should have walked away.”
“He did walk away, and it changed nothing. I still got hurt, and so did he. Being apart makes us just as vulnerable. More so. We need to be in this together. I know he’s planning to do something reckless. I’m so sick of the constant secrets and lies.” I glared at Dennis, daring him to deny it.
He didn’t.
“This is…fuck, this is a mess. I should call him.” Dennis dragged a hand over his face as he moved to Sarah’s couch to sit.
“Calling him wouldn’t change anything. He’s going through with whatever he has planned, with or without me. He made his choice.”
And it isn’t me.
“Don’t even think that. I can see it in your eyes; you think you’ve lost him. Don’t you dare give up on him yet. He can do this. It’s a huge risk and things could turn to shit pretty quick, but if his intuition is right, then we have nothing to worry about.”
Even now, Dennis still wouldn’t reveal Jackson’s plans.
“You’ll never betray him, will you?”
Dennis tilted his head to the side, curiosity clouding his eyes. “What?”
“You’ll help me, bring me into the fold to some degree, but you’ll never betray his trust. You won’t tell me what’s really going on.”
“Ana, trust me, you don’t want to know. But the answer to your question, no, I’ll never betray him. I have never met anyone like Jackson, and he has put his trust in me to keep you safe. This is one way I can do that. Stay in town. Lay low. Wait for Jackson to return. But, Ana, for the love of God, do not go chasing after him. It will end badly.”
A tear slipped from the corner of my eye.
And another.
Until a river of ugly tears flowed out of me and I sobbed into Oreo’s fur.
“Shit, Ana. I didn’t mean-”
I raised a hand cutting Dennis off. “Tissue, I- I need a tissue.” My voice trembled through as the sobs subsided and I regained control. As I accepted a tissue from Dennis and brought it to my nose, my sleeve slipped up my arm and the infinity bracelet covering my scar stared back at me.
“Are you okay?” Dennis asked, but I was too lost in the silver decorating my arm. The delicate band was so much more than just a bracelet. It was our story. Two lives entwined into one. Without its counterpart, there was no complete loop, no infinity symbol, just a broken link.
Wiping the moisture from my face, I straightened my back, looked Dennis in the eyes, and said, “I’m fine. Tell me what I can do to help. Anything. I’ll listen, I promise.”
Turned out there really wasn’t anything to do except wait. Dennis offered to stay with me, but it was Christmas in a few days and I didn’t want to keep him from his family. After I’d pulled myself together, I quizzed him about Cassie, but it was like getting blood out of a stone. He shut me out and refused to discuss it, and I didn’t push. Jackson was right, they were adults, and I was in no position to judge. But if it was anything like my and Jackson’s relationship, it wouldn’t be smooth sailing for them.
That was two days ago. Dennis assumed Jackson would be back today or tomorrow at the latest, but apparently, even he wasn’t given all of the facts. All he knew was that Jackson had gone with Perkins to Seattle for a special holiday gathering. Some annual thing Frankie O’Connor arranged for the conduits. It made little sense to me that the runners and right-hand men were invited and not the actual bosses, like Marcus. But thinking about it all just made my head hurt, so I stocked up on sugared goods and snuggled down with Oreo in front of Sarah’s television to watch re-runs of Home Alone. And waited.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jackson
The moment we arrived at Paradise Lost, I wanted to bail. It was crammed. Guys in fancy tailored suits fawning over the topless waitresses, some tucking dollars into their G-strings as they danced on the platforms stationed around the bar. At least three new stages had been erected, each with its own pole and spotlight. Annie worked the room like a pro, schmoozing with men I recognized and some I didn’t. Letting them pull her in for a hug she’d graze their arms with her long fingers, but she never let them touch her; making them feel special, only to withdraw the goods at the last minute. But I had yet to spot her husband among the crowd.
“Some party, huh, kid?” Perkins clapped me on the back and slammed his empty glass down.
Although nerves churned deep in my stomach, I felt the undercurrent of the liquor I’d knocked back with Perkins before arriving working its magic. My whole body tingled, nerves and alcohol mixing, as I clutched the dog tags hanging around my neck in my fist. I didn’t know if there would be a formal meeting tonight, Perkins had said it depended on business. Landon had confirmed his end of the bargain. So now, all I had to do was wait…and hope everything had gone according to plan.
“Yeah, who are all of these people?” I asked, looking out at the sea of bodies.
“Friends, family, business associates.” Perkins motioned to the bartender for a refill and nodded to me. I declined, wanting to keep a steady head for what was to come.
“Where’s O’Connor?” I asked trying my best to sound curious and not over interested.
“Probably in the back. He doesn’t mingle a lot. Annie handles that.”
“Yeah, she sure knows how to work a room.”
Perkins laughed into his glass and I arched my eyebrow.
“Annie O’Connor is a true Irish woman. Loyal to a fault, but get on the wrong side of her or her own, and she’ll hunt you down and cut yer balls off quicker than you can check to see if they’re still there.”
I spotted Annie among the crowd laughing with Pat and Bobby. The three of them looked comfortable together. I had so many questions I wanted to ask Perkins, but I had to stay focused.
“Go mingle, kid. These guys here are your family. Get to know them, the business, learn the ropes. Just don’t ask Macaulay for relationship advice; that man's had more wives than I’ve had whiskeys tonight.” Perkins pushed off the counter, swaying slightly; his jacket flapped open to reveal the Glock holstered under his arm and squeezed my shoulder. “You’re a good kid, Jackson. Don’t let the business change you.”
And with that, he walked away, leaving me more confused than ever.
An hour la
ter and there was still no sign of O’Connor. I was beginning to wonder if Landon had trouble keeping his end of the deal. I checked my cell for any communications from him, but there was nothing. Not since he’d sent me the green light earlier in the afternoon. I didn’t like it. If O’Connor didn’t take the bait, then I might not get my chance at a one-on-one with him.
Pat and Bobby had welcomed me into their fold without hesitation, and in a strange way, I felt close to them. Just knowing they knew and respected Dad told me a lot about their character. Although at least thirty years my senior, both were easy to talk to and Bobby had a story for every topic of conversation. If I had doubted their mob links before, then listening to him erased every last one.
“We were up in Tacoma collecting payments for Frankie. Those were the days you could stroll into a joint and everyone would stop whatever the hell they were doing. Well, Java’s was a regular mob hangout, but the owner, Java, had fallen behind with his rent among other things…” Bobby’s eyes sparkled with excitement as he recalled the memories. “Anyway, this one here,” he motioned to Pat, “marched straight up to Java, pointed his gun at him, and said ‘give us all of your money, punk.’ It was supposed to be a joke, but Java almost shit his pants and pulled a shotgun out on Pat. All hell broke loose. Turns out Java was fed up of being overrun with the likes of us and had taken it upon himself to carry protection. Almost got Pat in the head...”
“Jackson.” A slim female hand slid up my arm and squeezed my bicep gently. “Frankie would like to see you.”
Perkins, Bobby, and Pat all shot me a concerned glance, as Annie started pulling me away. I tipped my head at Perkins giving nothing away.
“This way, doll.”
Annie linked her arm through mine and led the way. A couple of the guys noticed and trained their eyes on us, but I ignored them, too busy trying to keep my heart rate steady.
