by L A Cotton
“There’s so much you don’t understand, Cara. My sister, my twin sister, is involved with the men who want to bring down your father. Even if I had information to give him, she’s my blood, my only family.” Something bolted through me. “How can I give her up?”
Hurt shone in Cara’s eyes and I heard her unspoken question … would you give her up for me? But that wasn’t the trade-off. If I gave up Doyle and Luke and my sister, I wasn’t getting Cara in return. So what was the point?
“I didn’t realize you had a twin. You never talked about her.”
I leaned down and captured her lips. “It doesn’t change how I feel about you. Nothing about any of this changes how I feel about you. Promise me you’ll always remember that. Whatever happens, know that you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Cara
I waited until sunrise to return to my room. Braiden's t-shirt, the one he'd been wearing at the motel, had been left clean and ironed, by Miranda I suspected. He said I could have it, but the sentiment was lost on me, and hurt had filled my chest leaving me dejected as if it was supposed to be some great gift as we parted ways. But when he'd enveloped me in his strong arms and gazed at me with absolute awe, I wrapped myself around him and refused to let him go. In the end, he had to peel me off him and insist I go back to my room. Each step away from his door and closer to mine felt wrong, stealing away a tiny bit more of my soul. But I managed to wait until I was inside my room before I fell apart.
I'd promised him I wouldn't cry. Promised I wouldn't go back to my room and break down.
I was a liar.
Did he not realize that leaving him was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, knowing that it could be the last time I ever saw him?
He wasn't ready to choose. He had a sister, a twin. Someone out there with his DNA. His memories, his blood. They shared more than just the same name. How could he ever choose to betray that? A small part of me hoped he would value his own survival over his family, but he wouldn't be the guy I fell in love with if he did.
I moved around my room listlessly. I showered, washing away the memories of Braiden's touch. I didn't need them, not when they were imprinted on my heart. That was where I planned to store everything. Every kiss, touch, the times spent loving him.
It wasn't enough, yet it was all I had.
After I had dried myself and dressed, I combed my hair out in front of the mirror. Red and puffy, my eyes no longer shined. Perhaps they never would again. A knock on my door startled me, and for a foolish second, a seed of hope burst in my chest. But Braiden wouldn't come to me. Not now. Not after we'd said goodbye.
"Baby, can I come in?" Mom was standing in the doorway as I exited my bathroom. "Oh, sweetie, come here." She extended her arms, and I collapsed on her. "It hurts, it hurts so much," I cried feeling my chest crack.
"Shh, baby, shh." She smoothed my damp hair out of my face and led us to my bed.
"It's not fair. None of this is fair."
"Life isn't always fair, Cara."
I cried until my eyes were sore and my body ached. And when there were no more tears left, I pulled away from my mother and said, "Why does it have to be this way? I could just run away with him. I could run away, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it."
"Cara," she scolded. "You don't mean that. This is for the best, baby. I know it hurts now and probably feels as if you’ll never get over him, but you were never supposed to meet."
But we did, and I would never be the same again.
No one could take that away from us. From me.
"You could talk to him again. You fell in love with him and stuck by him even when you knew who he was." The words rushed out as I gripped her arm desperately, but sadness washed over my mother's face, and she said, "Baby, that was different. It was a different time."
Defeated, I dropped my eyes. She wasn't on my side. Not now. Mom had done her bit in appealing to her husband to move Braiden out of the annex. But from the regret glistening in her eyes, that was the extent of her willingness to help me.
"One day, you'll understand."
I released her arm and shuffled back to my bed. She was wrong; I would never understand. Broken, I turned away from her and let the tears fall.
“Cara, baby, have I ever told you how your father and I met? The real story?”
I turned slowly, looking over at my mother who was staring at nothing, lost in her memories.
“I thought you met in college?”
Her eyes met mine, and she smiled wistfully. “We did; except I was in college and your father wasn’t.”
“He didn’t go to college? But I always thought-”
“We know you’re not blind to the nature of your father’s business, baby, but there are some things we wanted to protect you from.”
“So you lied?”
“Would you lie if it meant protecting those most important to you?”
My mind went to Braiden, and I sighed. Yes. I’d lie in an instant.
“By the time I was a junior, your father was already moving up the organization. I’d heard his name around campus. Frankie O’Connor, the guy you called if you needed to get your hands on something; drugs, alcohol, cheap electronics.” I winced at my mother’s words. Knowing about their past and hearing it were two very different things. “He had quite the reputation, but he wasn’t a student. He just enjoyed the student lifestyle. The parties, the adventures, the girls.”
My eyes widened, and Mom laughed softly. “Your father was a good-looking man back then, sweetie. Girls were lining up for him. Everyone wanted a piece of him.”
“And you?”
“I couldn’t stand him and his giant ego. Irish families moved in similar circles, so I’d heard your grandpa talk about him. He never felt the need to warn me away until it was too late.”
“What happened?” I sat up and shuffled back against the headboard.
“We were at a party on campus, one of the frat houses. He bumped into me, spilling my drink all over me, and offered to help clean me up. His chivalry surprised me. He could have just walked by and not look back, but he didn’t. We skipped out on the party and stayed up all night chatting. He knew I knew who he was, but I think he liked that I’d never paid him any attention before that night.”
“And?”
“He walked me back to my dorm and asked me out on a proper date. I was flattered but politely declined. Your grandpa would have blown a gasket. But your father was persistent. The next day, he sent flowers. Every Sunday for a month. Eventually, I gave in, and I never looked back.”
I could imagine them young and in love, and I envied them.
“What did Grandpa say?”
“Well, we didn’t tell him. Not right away. Your father wanted to—before we got too serious—but something in me was terrified. I’d heard the rumors, seen some of the power Frankie O’Connor had.” Mom shuffled along the bed and reached out for my hand, lacing our fingers together. “I told your grandpa the day I realized I was in love with your father. He’d never shown me anything but a good man who respected his elders and knew how to treat a woman right. Grandpa didn’t speak to me for six months.”
This I did know. We laughed about it now that he was dead, but it had always been a subject to avoid at the dinner table.
“You know the rest, baby. We married as soon as I graduated, and the following year, we were pregnant with you.”
“But how did you turn a blind eye to what he did? What he still does?”
“Love works in mysterious ways, Cara. And you know I love your father very much, but I’ve considered walking away so many times. Especially those early days with you. He’d be away for days, sometimes even weeks. I never saw him. I’d hear things. Other women, fights, drugs. But I held on to the memory of a man I met at a party. The man who made me feel like I was the only woman he’d ever laid eyes on.”
I squeezed her hand as her eyes filled with tears. “Mom-”
“I’m fine, sweetie. I think it’s important that you know that while I wouldn’t change anything that brought me to this point, right here, I don’t want this life for you, Cara. I made my bed all those years ago, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Braiden is one guy, baby. There will be other guys, guys who can give you a life better than this. I promise.”
I blinked back my own tears, a huge lump forming in my throat. How could she say this to me? After everything.
“But I love him. I love him so much, Mom.”
“I know, baby, shh.” She released my hand and wiped my tears away. “I can see that now. But sometimes loving someone means letting them go. This is one decision your father will not be swayed on, Cara. If Braiden chooses to help him, your father will see to it that he gets a clean break from his past. Find peace in knowing that he’ll live. That he gets a second chance.”
Was she right? It didn’t feel right, none of this did.
“I- I-” The river of tears made it impossible to get the words out. I wanted to believe that knowing Braiden was out there somewhere was enough, but it didn’t feel like it. Not when my heart was shattering.
“One day, you’ll look back on this and know it was the right thing, Cara. I promise.”
After Mom had left, I pulled on my sneakers and went for a jog. Being in the house was suffocating. Knowing Braiden was there and being unable to go to him. Everything Mom had said weighed heavy on my mind. She and Dad were proof love could survive secrets, lies, and corruption. Braiden wasn’t even a part of that world anymore, not really. But he wasn’t deemed good enough for me when someone like Jason was.
My feet pounded the ground, pushing my legs faster, working my heart harder. Cool air whipped past me, forcing everything out of my head until there was quiet. Running and art—the two things I used to escape. But I’d taken most of my supplies with me to Pacific, and right now, I needed the physical pain. I needed to feel the burn. It was the only thing that touched the grief I felt every time I pictured Braiden’s expression as I left his room. Maybe it had been a mistake to go to him and open my heart to even more heartache. No, I couldn’t regret it. I wouldn’t. He’d told me he loved me. Finally owned up to his feelings for me, feelings I’d known he felt all along. I wouldn’t trade that in for anything, not even the gaping hole in my chest.
I rounded the corner and the house came into view. My eyes immediately went to my bedroom window and memories of all my late-night escapes flooded my mind. My feet slowed until I was moving at a gentle pace, hands on my hips, as I fought to catch my breath. Preoccupied with a million and one thoughts, I missed Jason stepping into my path.
“Was it you?”
“Was it me what?” I tried to move around him, not wanting to get into it with him, but he caught my arm and pulled me back.
“Did you pull the wool over Daddy’s eyes and persuade him to move that piece of shit into the house?” His eyes glazed over with rage, and I yanked my arm free and glared at Jason. “How dare you. You are a guest here, too. Don’t forget that. And no, I had nothing to do with it.”
“Oh please, I bet all you did was bat your pretty little eyes and Daddy jumped. You think your boyfriend is safe just because he’s been upgraded to house guest?”
“Stay away from me, Jason.” Without looking back, I hurried into the house as my whole body trembled with frustration … and fear. Jason sounded like a madman, but his eyes were cold and calculating and something about his reaction to Braiden being in the house chilled me to the bone.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Braiden
My body felt like it had been processed through a meat grinder. The adrenaline that had pumped through my veins while Cara was here had worn off bringing me back to Earth with a thud. I needed some more of those wonder pills Annie O’Connor had slipped me, but I wasn’t about to go wandering around the house looking for her. Not when I expected her husband to make an appearance at any time. If Cara was right, and he had anticipated on her paying me a visit, then Daddy dearest would be around soon.
Last night, with Cara wrapped in my arms, I’d wanted to say fuck it and go along with O’Connor’s plan. Maybe what I did know would be enough, or maybe I could contact Luke and Jack Doyle and find out their specific plans—play double agent. But in the harsh light of day, I wasn’t sure I could do it. Briony was embroiled in this fucking mess, and she was my blood. The only family I had left. How could I do that to her? Suddenly, the choice felt less about O’Connor and his priorities and more about choosing between the two most important women in my life; my sister and the girl I loved. But then I remembered that I didn’t have a claim on Cara. O’Connor would never let us be together. Not now, not after I gave up Doyle … never.
A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts, and I called, “Yeah.”
O’Connor entered, dressed in his usual tailored suit. Did the guy not own casual clothes? It made me feel inferior somehow. Unworthy. Get a fucking grip.
“I trust you’ve been comfortable?”
I tipped my chin searching his eyes for any hint of knowledge about what had gone down in this room only hours ago. If he knew, he didn’t let on.
“It’s time, Braiden. Time is the enemy right now, and I need to know if you’ll help me.” He made it sound like a favor, not a trade-off for my life. Dragging a hand over my head, I blew out a breath. This was it. “I’m-”
“Wait. Before you give me an answer, I want to explain something to you. May I?” He motioned to the empty chair in the corner of the room and I nodded. He could levitate in the middle of the room for all I cared. I just wanted this over with.
I sat on the edge of the bed facing him. Waiting. Whatever he was about to say wouldn’t change anything. The only thing that would change the outcome of my decision was the blonde whose heart was probably breaking a few doors down, and he’d made it clear she wasn’t part of the terms.
“Did you know your father, Michael Pierce, and I were once good friends?”
Michael Pierce? I hadn’t heard that name in a long time. The father of my ex-best friend, Jackson, had died when we were just kids. That was the reason my father had taken Jackson in and raised him as his own—as my brother.
“I heard your name when I was growing up, but no, I didn’t.”
O’Connor crossed one leg over the other and clasped his knee. “We were very close.”
“What happened?”
“Life happened.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Back then, we were young and reckless. Something I’m sure you can relate to.” He shot me a pointed look and a sliver of shame spread through me. “I was set to inherit my father's role within the families and my priorities changed. I had to step up to the plate.”
“Okay, but what does Michael Pierce have to do with all of this?”
“Your father and Michael had a bond like no other, Braiden. When I filled my father’s shoes, Michael didn’t mind having to call me boss, but your father struggled with it. We’d all been on equal footing, and then suddenly, I had a lot more power. They were expected to fall in line, but your father liked to push me. He felt it was his right since the Donohue family is almost as old as the O’Connor family. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, more than once. When you and Briony came along, things calmed down for a while. He toed the line. But then your mother died and he started abusing his power again. Never enough to warrant me coming down hard on him, but enough to rock the boat.”
O’Connor regarded me, and I felt like he was searching my face for answers. Of what, I wasn’t sure. This was all news to me. Pieces of a puzzle much bigger than I ever realized.
“Your father wanted to head the organization, Braiden. It was never his to assume, though. Since the families arrived here, the O’Connors have always been in power. In the end, he hated me for it. And then you grew up. I knew if he didn’t rein you in, we’d have bigger problems than some old friendly feud. Turned out, you were the l
east of my problems.”
My brows arched and I straightened my back not liking where this was headed.
“Easy, Braiden.” He held out a hand. “Let me explain. When the opportunity arose to remove you from the picture, it was a test of sorts. I might have questioned your father’s sanity over the years, but I’d never called into question his loyalty to the organization or to the families. I was wrong. Your father was double-crossing me, pocketing money, my money, for himself, something I refused to tolerate. Jackson came to me with information that proved your father’s disloyalty. But that wasn’t all Jackson had uncovered.”
My heart pounded violently in my chest. Something bad was going to come out of his mouth, and my gut knew it had the potential to change everything.
“Miss Parry, Jackson’s girlfriend, found evidence that your father had Michael Pierce killed.”
The room closed in around me until I couldn’t breathe. Memories assaulted my mind causing my stomach to bottom out.
I stormed over to Jackson, slamming my fist into his stomach. Ana screamed as Jackson lurched forward and grunted with pain. “You don’t get to choose. We are your family, Pierce, it’s not an opt-in or opt-out scenario. In for life, that’s the Donohue way; that’s what the tattoo on your neck means. Your dad forgot that and paid dearly.”
Shame crashed over. I’d always thought that Michael died doing a run for Dad. I hadn’t known the truth, I just wanted to hurt Jackson—hurt him the way he’d hurt me for choosing Ana over me. Over his family. His brother.
I was jealous.
And I had been played.
Everything I thought was real was a lie. It didn’t excuse some of the unspeakable things I’d done to Jackson, to Ana, fuck, to half my class at high school and at CFA. But I had a huge chip on my shoulder growing up. The constant comparison to Jackson, Dad wishing I was more like him. But now his over-affection for Jackson made a little more sense. He felt guilty. He had taken Jackson’s father, leaving him with no parents, no biological family. I’d been there for the fallout. Jackson crying himself to sleep every night. The broken look in his eyes.
