by L A Cotton
Shame.
Guilt.
Self-loathing.
It was all there, immersed in pools of electric blue. But I also saw something else. Underneath all the hate, I saw Braiden’s vulnerability. His desire to be a better man—for me, for his friend. I wasn’t the one at the end of the gun, but it was as if our lives flashed before my eyes—or what could have been. A little boy with eyes the color of the sea, laughing as his father threw him in the air while I watched with a smile. A feeling of completeness settled over me, and then, as Braiden’s eyes shuttered, a stark sense of emptiness tore through me.
“It’s me you want. I plunged that knife into you. I can still remember the way it slid in like butter. I could have stopped myself, but I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to know that I had the power to hurt you. That you could never touch me, but I could rip away everything from you.” Braiden shrugged out of Shaughnessy’s hold and started toward me as if it was some beautifully choreographed swansong.
The distraction worked, and Cole moved his focus off me and onto Braiden who came around and put himself in the middle of us. “Am I sorry you’re like this?” he said with conviction. “I’ll never forgive myself. But what’s done is done. You’ll never walk again, and I have to live with the knowledge that I caused that for the rest of my life.”
“You’d choose her? You’d die for her?”
“A thousand times over.”
“It doesn’t change anything. I should end her, make you live with the knowledge that you killed her. That is more than you deserve, yet I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. You do love her; I see it now. If I take her away from you, it will eat you alive. But it would be my own death sentence, wouldn’t it? You’d spend the rest of your days hunting me down. So there is only one choice ...”
“Noooo!” I screamed, lurching forward with the ferocity of my cry.
A gunshot rang out, reverberating around the room, and I crumpled to the cold floor, unable to open my eyes through the gush of tears. Unwilling to accept he was gone.
Braiden was gone.
My heart stopped and shattered into a thousand tiny shards, and I hugged myself tight, sobbing into the emptiness.
“Everyone okay?”
Voices barely filtered through my hysteria as pain splintered through me, filling every crack, and I fought for breath.
“Cara,” a deep voice said.
“No, no,” I cried, unsure of what was real anymore. Had I dreamed the whole thing? Was this a dream? I’d heard the shot. Braiden was gone. Killed out of revenge. An eye for an eye.
“Look at me, Cara.”
“No, I-I can’t. You’re not real. You’re … you’re gone; he took you.” A hand slid to my cheek, coaxing my face upward, and I found myself swimming in eyes the color of the sky on a summer’s day. “Is this real?”
I blinked up at the mirage. I wanted to pull my eyes away and see for myself. But I couldn’t move.
“It’s real. You’re safe. It’s over.” Braiden pulled me to him, forgetting my wrists were still bound, and I fell helplessly against him. Our cheeks collided, blood mixing with tears, but it didn’t matter.
Braiden was alive.
“I thought you were gone,” I murmured against his skin as he undid the ropes around my wrists. When they finally broke free, I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for dear life.
“Careful,” Braiden urged, wincing under my desperate grip.
He was a mess, but I needed this. I needed to know this was real.
“You’re hurt.” My hands brushed down his neck, and I tilted his jaw to look at his face.
Braiden’s hand covered mine. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” He pulled away, leaning down, and his mouth lingered over mine as if he couldn’t quite believe this was real either. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
He kissed me softly, cradling me to him as if I was delicate glass that might shatter under his touch at any second. But then his mouth moved harder, desperate, and his fingers dug into my skin, pulling me closer. I knew at that moment that everything would work itself out.
So long as we had each other, everything would be fine.
Braiden
“You good?” Frankie O’Connor glanced back at where Max and Jackson were standing with Cara.
I nodded, my eyes landing on her. “I will be.” My body ached, the cuts and bruises sore and tender, and I was almost certain Shaughnessy had broken a rib or two, but it could wait.
“You need to get that looked at.” He motioned to my face. It hurt like a bitch, but nothing compared to the pain I’d felt looking at Cara one last time. The thought of never seeing her again ... never holding her. It was something I didn’t ever plan to feel again.
A strong hand gripped my shoulder. “We’ll take care of this. Take my daughter home.”
I met his steely glare. “Just like that?”
“She’s made her choice, Braiden. You were prepared to sacrifice yourself to save her. That’s all I need to know.”
“What’ll happen to him?” I flicked my head to Calder. The shot wasn’t lethal, and he lay awkwardly on the floor, writhing in pain.
“Does it matter?”
“No.” It didn’t. Coming at me was one thing, but taking Cara was his undoing.
“And Shaughnessy?”
O’Connor loosened his tie. “Already taken care of.”
“Good.”
“Go.” He shoved me forward. “She needs you.”
As if she heard her father’s words, Cara’s head snapped up to mine, and the air sucked from my lungs. And then we were moving toward one another. I scooped her up in my arms, burying her face against me.
“I’m never letting you out of my sight again. Ever,” I whispered into her hair.
“Good.” Her murmur tickled my neck.
“I’ll fuck up. I can’t promise this is the end. There’s a list of guys out there just waiting to take their shot, but I swear to you, I’d die a thousand times over before anyone touches you. Do you understand?” I brushed her hair off her neck and pressed a kiss there. “You’re it for me. My beginning. My end. Everything.”
Cara pulled back, staring intently at me, her eyes glossy with tears. “I love you so much.”
“You do, huh?”
“When I thought you were gone, it felt like I was dying. I never want to feel that again.”
Pain rushed to my chest, twisting around my heart and dragging the air from my lungs. There was movement around us. Jackson and Max. O’Connor and his guys. But they all paled into insignificance until there was just us.
“I don’t deserve you.” I leaned in and captured her lips.
“I promise to make you work for me every day.”
That, I could do.
Jackson
I turned away, giving Braiden and Cara some privacy. Frankie’s men worked around me, already cleaning up the scene to remove any trace of what had happened here. When I felt him step up beside me, I said, “You’re leaving? You just arrived.”
“Do you need me to stick around?”
“No, no, I just thought ...” What? That Frankie would roll into town and fix everything? Take Cara and Braiden back with him? Did I want that? Did I want Braiden gone, out of my life for good?
“How did you get here so fast?” It had only been a couple of days since we first called him, and Seattle was over three-thousand miles away.
He ignored me and said, “I’ll find out who leaked their whereabouts.”
I didn’t expect an answer. Frankie O’Connor didn’t explain his actions to anyone. Maybe I was right; maybe he did have people watching Braiden and Cara, watching me. Or maybe he did care enough to fly straight out. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that when we needed him, he came.
“And when you do?”
He arched his eyebrow, and I nodded, tight-lipped. I didn’t need to know the rest. I was done with this. I needed to get back to Ana.
“Goodbye, Jackson.
I hope the next time we cross paths, it’s in less urgent circumstances.” He started toward his car.
“Thank you,” I called after him.
He stopped and turned. “It is I who should thank you. Show him the way, son. Help him be the man my daughter deserves. I’ll be in touch.”
I nodded, but Frankie was wrong. I didn’t need to show Braiden the way because he’d already found it.
Frankie left but not before personally driving Braiden and Cara to the nearest medical center. I didn’t go with them. I had more important places to be.
“How is she?” I glanced over Dennis’s shoulder to Ana’s room, breathless from running the three flights of stairs. I’d refused to wait for the elevator. I hadn’t wanted to waste a single second.
“Pissed.” A hint of amusement played in his voice.
I could deal with pissed—I just couldn’t deal with her shutting me out. Not when I needed her more than ever. Dennis squeezed my shoulder as I brushed past him and slipped into the room.
“Jackson?”
“Hey,” I said over the lump in my throat. The sight of her unharmed filled every inch of me with relief.
“You’re okay?”
I nodded, striding toward her. Dropping onto the side of her bed, I grabbed her hands in mine and leaned in to kiss her head. “It’s over.”
“For good? It’s done? You’re okay? H- he’s okay?”
“Everyone is fine.”
I would have to fill her in on the facts one day, but today was not that day. All that mattered was this—us.
“Thank god, I was so scared. But you’re here, and you’re okay, and everything really is okay?”
“Everything is fine.” I sat beside her and kicked up my legs. “I’m so tired.”
“The nurse just came and did my vitals. We have a while.”
My body was crashing, the adrenaline seeping out of my system. I closed my eyes, soaking up the warmth of Ana’s touch, her smell, the feel of her hand in mine. She would always be my sanctuary.
My home.
Epilogue
Jackson
“Don’t look now, but Ana looks fucking amazing,” Braiden whispered in my ear, and my heart swelled. But it was nothing compared to what I felt when I turned around and saw her.
Dark hair swept up off her face with fancy beaded pins. Loose curls framed her face, pulling my gaze to her big brown eyes and soft pink lips. Our eyes collided, and she blushed. My Ana—my everything—blushed, dropping her eyes away. The fact that, after all this time, I still affected her that way had me in complete awe. I used the moment to drink her in. The simple silk ivory dress hugged her curvier figure, sloping over her rounded stomach and then dropping to the floor. And my lips curved into a grin when my gaze landed on her feet ... beige Chuck covered feet.
That’s my girl.
Dennis didn’t look so bad either. Something had changed between the two of them while he was with her at the hospital. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but my friend was different. It shouldn’t have surprised me—Ana could affect you like that. She had affected me like that. And I would never be the same. Otis caught my eye and winked. He looked well despite the new cancer growing inside him. I was just relieved they were able to make the trip. It wouldn’t have felt right without him and V present. They were my family just as much as Ana was, and they deserved to witness this.
“I love you guys,” Dennis whispered, placing Ana’s hand in mine. He nodded at me and took his place beside Braiden. It felt right having them both here. Maybe that made me crazy, but they were my family too. Overcome with emotion, my eyes shuttered, and when they opened, Ana took my breath away. Completely and utterly stole it right from out of my lungs.
“Jesus, you’re beautiful.”
“Jackson,” she hissed, glancing to the minister.
“Shit, sorry,” I said, and she squeezed my hand. I shrugged, and the minister laughed. “If we’re ready?”
“Yes,” we said in unison.
I’d been ready for longer than I realized.
Ana
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Jackson wrapped me in his arms and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. But it wasn’t enough, and I clung to him, demanding more.
“Ana,” he murmured, a hint of both regret and warning in his tone.
Aunt Betsy and Uncle Jim were here; he’d insisted we invite them, and even though things were still strained between the three of us, I hoped one day that old wounds would heal. With Jackson by my side, I felt sure they could.
“Okay, my turn with the bride,” Dennis said, pulling me out of Jackson’s arms and into his own. “Never look back,” he whispered. “And don’t be a stranger.”
I pulled away and pressed a kiss to his cheek. We’d formed a strange bond during our house arrest at the hospital. It might have been only forty-eight hours, but Dennis hadn’t left my side, and in the periods of comfortable silence between us, I’d felt his torment. He still had his own ghosts to confront, but he seemed more at peace now.
“Congratulations, you look so beautiful.” Cara air kissed me and then leaned up to kiss Jackson. Which left Braiden. Things were still strained between us—they probably always would be—but I had to accept he was in our lives now. After what he did for Jackson, for Cara, I had to give him a chance—he’d earned it. The faded bruises around his eye and jaw were testament to that. So without giving myself time to change my mind, I turned to him and said, “Thank you.”
His eyes went wide, and we stood there, surrounded by our friends and family, in thick silence. Eventually, Braiden nodded. He swallowed hard, before stepping back and melting into the crowd surrounding us. And that was okay. He could be there on the periphery. For now, it was enough.
Braiden
“Look how happy they are.” Cara sighed, resting her head against my shoulder. She was right. They looked happy as Jackson led his new wife around the small dance floor.
I slid my arm around Cara’s back, turning to press a kiss to her head as the memory of seeing her bound and bloody imprinted on my mind. I didn’t think I’d ever forget. And for as much as it hurt, maybe that was my punishment, my penance—to relive that moment over and over for as long as I lived.
“Hey.” She grabbed my jaw and aligned our faces. “I’m fine. You’re fine. Everything is fine. Nothing can hurt us, Braiden.” Cara stared me right in the eyes, and her love wrapped around me like a soft blanket. I wanted nothing more than to throw her over my shoulder, take her back to our room, and sink inside her.
“Later.” She smirked. “We are the best man and maid of honor. We can’t just leave for a quickie.”
I grinned back at her. “We could make it very, very quick.” My voice lowered to an almost whisper. It had the desired effect, and her eyes fluttered shut as she sucked in a sharp breath.
“No.” Cara’s hand slid to my collarbone, and she pushed gently. “You don’t get to see what’s underneath here”—her eyes dropped to the satin blue dress—“until much later.”
Threading my hand into her hair, I claimed her lips, sweeping my tongue into her mouth and swirling it with her own. With every glide, my grip tightened, and the full force of what could have been hit me in the gut like a wrecking ball.
The second my eyes had landed on Cara tied up, I knew that I would fight every single day of the rest of my life for her forgiveness. To earn her trust again, her love ... her acceptance.
“What? What is it?” She pulled back, pressing her forehead to mine. My heart beat violently against my chest, and my palms went clammy.
“Marry me.”
“W- what?” She yanked back, her eyes wide sparkling with surprise.
“Marry me, Cara O’Connor. I know I’m a fuck-up. I know there will probably be a day when my past catches up with us again. But I promise to spend every second of every day loving you. Proving to you that I am worthy. I love you so fucking much i
t hurts. I know you’re young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, but you’re it for me. You are my life.”
Her hand slid to my cheek. “I- I, wow, Braiden, I- I ...”
Everything slowed down.
The sound of the music around us. My heart. Cara’s voice. Everything zeroed in around me until there was quiet and only the gentle pound of my heart against bone. This was it. My final stand. And then I saw the flash of uncertainty in her eyes and that gutted me. Like a knife sliding into my gut and twisting over and over, the pain spread through me. I had been right. Cara didn’t imagine her future and see me. She probably saw some hotshot lawyer or business type from the city with a sleek car and fat salary. My head dropped, unable to look at her—the woman who had broken me more than any enemy ever had—and I swallowed back the rush of tears fighting for release.
“Yes.”
My head snapped up, and my mouth dropped open. Cara smiled. It started slow, her mouth curving up at the corners until it reached her eyes.
“Yes?” I choked out.
“Yes, I’ll marry you.”
“This a joke?”
Her hand found my cheek again, and I leaned into her touch, not wanting to let myself believe it. “You think you’re not worthy, but you’re wrong. We all make mistakes, Braiden, but it’s how you own them that counts. What you did for me, for Jackson, I will never forget. You saved me.”
“I will always save you.” I kissed the corner of her mouth. “I will always love you. If you let me, I will spend my life loving you.” My lips feathered over hers until they landed on the other corner, but Cara caught me mid-stride and clamped her arms around my neck, forcing my mouth to hers.
“Screw responsibility. I need you now.” I stood up, yanking her with me.
