by L A Cotton
“Yeah, out like a light. I had to read the pony book three times.”
“She loves that one.”
I climbed into bed and slid a hand around Cassie, dragging her body closer. She shrieked, turning in my arms, her little bump between us. “Thank you for today. Lilly had the best birthday.”
Dropping a kiss on her nose, I pulled back and stared at her. The woman I loved. The mother of my children. Because although Lilly wasn’t my blood, she was mine. A part of me, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. If I could have freeze-framed a moment in time, it would have been this one, right here. We’d come so far.
I felt like the luckiest man alive.
But it hadn’t all been smooth sailing. When we first moved out here, she was still grieving the loss of her aunt, and I was coming to terms with the decision to walk away from my old man. From Brett and Stonewood. Everything I’d ever known. But together, we learned how to walk in the light again. Cassie finished her therapy with a local counselor, and I spent time with Jackson. Talking to Jackson.
And then, about eight months after leaving, I got a call from Hale. My old man was dying. Of lung cancer. It hit me hard. The overwhelming guilt. It ate away at me until Cassie finally put her foot down and bought us tickets to fly home. I didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to even think about her being anywhere near him. But, in the end, I knew it was something I had to do.
Not only for myself, but for the promise I’d broken.
My old man died a week after we got back. I didn’t attend the funeral; I’d said all that needed to be said when I sat across from him in his hospital bed. But we planned to take the baby to see his grave one day. To meet his grandpa.
“What?” she asked when I didn’t speak.
“You.”
“Me?” Confusion pinched her brows. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Yeah, yeah you did,” I said a little choked.
“Dennis, you’re freaking me out.”
“You’ve given me everything, Cassie. Don’t you see, you saved me.”
Her hands glided up my chest and over my shoulders and then she was pulling me toward her, kissing me. And I got it, I did. Sometimes actions spoke louder than words, and I’d spent the past two years trying to show her how important she was to me. How much I loved her.
But sometimes, sometimes I needed to say the words. To remind myself—and her—of our story.
I stroked my tongue against hers. Soft and unhurried. Cassie sighed against my lips as my hands moved over her body. The new curves and dips from her changing body. I couldn’t wait to watch her grow round with our child.
“I love you,” I breathed not breaking the kiss. “I love you so much.”
“Dennis,” she moaned, and the sound of my name on her lips, the feel of her skin pressed against me, was enough to bring me to my knees. And the thought made me smile. She had no idea I planned to propose soon, that the blue velvet ring box was hidden in my closet inside my inconspicuous gym bag.
I had it all arranged.
Dinner at our favorite restaurant overlooking Tampa Bay.
I’d already made the reservation.
Cassie’s fingers skimmed the tip of my dick, and I hissed, a bolt of desire rushing through me. “I love you,” she whispered. “We love you. Me, Lilly, and our baby.”
Images flooded my head. Cassie screaming in pain as she gave birth to our child. The tears. Holding him or her for the first time. Standing at the altar as my angel walked toward me.
I broke away and scrambled off the bed.
“Dennis? What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Wait here, wait right here.” I dragged a hand over my face and padded to my closet.
“Dennis, you’re freaking me out.” Her voice rolled off my shoulders as I rummaged to locate the box.
With it firmly in my grasp, I stalked back to the bed, stopping just short of it. “Marry me.” Dropping to one knee, I flipped the lid and held it out for her while Cassie just stared at me as if I’d lost my damn mind.
And maybe I had.
I’d spent so long waiting. For the right moment. The right time. When I should have asked her the second she turned up on Jackson and Ana’s doorstep. Because Cassie was it for me.
Tears welled in her eyes and she launched herself at me and cried, “Yes,” over and over. I caught her and knew without a doubt.
She was it.
My heart.
My home.
My forever.
Family and Forever:
a brand-new epilogue
Jackson
“Hmm,” Ana moaned, her voice thick with sleep as I slipped my hand over the curve of her ass.
“Good morning,” I whispered against the shell of her ear, rocking against her, wanting desperately inside of my wife.
“Good morning,” she murmured. “What time is it?”
“Early.”
“How early?” She sounded more alert.
“Early enough that the kids are still sleeping.”
“Oh, thank God.” Ana rolled into my arms. “I need you.”
Thank fuck.
My children were my whole world, but since Michael was born ten months ago, we’d barely found time to sleep let alone make love.
And God did I miss making love to my wife.
“Quick,” she breathed, pressing her body closer to mine, her hand wandering down to my boxer briefs. “We don’t have long.”
“Easy.” I chuckled. “We have time.”
At least, I hoped we did.
Dipping my head, I met Ana’s lips in a soft kiss, but my greedy wife looped her arm around my neck demanding more. Our tongues slid together, neither of us caring enough about morning breath to stop play. This was our moment, and we weren’t about to let anything get in the way.
“God, Jackson, touch me. I need you to tou... ahh,” Ana moaned as my fingers found her center. “It feels so good.”
“Yeah?” I eased two inside her, taking care not to be too rough. Michael’s birth had been difficult, and it had taken her longer to heal than with Emma. For a while there, Ana had been self-conscious about her body, but she had nothing to worry about.
Not a damn thing.
She’d been beautiful before pregnancy, all soft curves and warm smiles, but since giving birth to our children, I saw her through fresh eyes. I appreciated every stretch mark and curve. And I found her every bit as attractive if not more.
“Jackson,” her breath caught as I hooked my finger deeper, rolling my thumb over the tight bud of nerves.
“I’ve got you,” I said. “Always.”
Shuddering around me, Ana buried her face into my neck as she rode the waves of pleasure I felt vibrating through her. Dragging her leg over my waist, I wrestled my boxer briefs down and gently eased inside her, groaning with pleasure. “I love you,” I said. “I love you so—”
The baby monitor blared to life, and I dropped my head to Ana’s with a heavy sigh, stilling inside her, unwilling to let go. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“I’ll go.” She pressed her palm to my cheek, smiling at me with a mixture of lust and disappointment.
“Just give me a second,” I ground out. “I need this.” Her. Us. The most incredible feeling in the word, second only to being a father.
Her soft laughter filled the quiet. “If you’re quick, we can still—”
“No.” I relented, easing out of her. “He needs you.”
“You need me too.” She gave me a knowing look.
“Yeah, but I can wait.”
I would wait forever if that’s what it took.
“It won’t always be like this.” Ana climbed out of bed, pulling on her robe.
“No, soon he’ll be a toddler and know how to navigate the hall to our room.” Emma had become quite the escape artist last month until we bought her a new princess bed. Now she never wanted to leave the damn thing.
Ana leaned back down to plant a kiss on my lips. “May
be later.” She sighed, and I knew she was just as affected by our early morning wake-up call as I was.
“There’s no rush.” I smiled, tracing her face with my fingers. “We have forever.”
“Yeah, we do.”
But it would never be long enough with her.
Ana
Whoever said being a mom was easy had never tried balancing a baby on their hip while negotiating with a two-year-old over a bowl of cereal. I loved my kids, more than anything, but sometimes I just wanted to be Ana Pierce, the woman I was before Emma and Michael came along. The woman who had time to style her hair and swipe on some makeup. Who made an effort for her husband and looked forward to some quality time together. Quality time lately translated into stolen moments while the kids napped. There was nothing sexy about being a mom to a strong-willed toddler and an eight-month-old who had discovered crawling and preferred to wear his food rather than eat it.
Nothing.
“Eat some banana for mama,” I cooed again to Michael while helping Emma spoon another mouthful of cereal into her mouth.
“Everything okay?” Jackson entered the kitchen, and I didn’t know whether to swoon or throw the towel at him. He looked so good. The gray sweater clung to his muscular arms, cinching at his waist slightly. And the jeans, God those dark wash jeans hugged his ass in a way that made want to—
“No, Michael!”
“Here, I got him.” Jackson swooped in, saving my floor from yet another breakfast disaster. “You’re supposed to eat the banana, buddy, not throw it.”
Michael cooed up at his father, his eyes alight with love. The way they looked at one another melted my heart. Despite the near miss with mashed fruit, my eyes couldn’t resist sweeping over Jackson’s body again, internally groaning.
I loved my husband something fierce, but did he have to look like that? Like he’d just walked out of a photoshoot when I had mashed banana smeared in my hair, stains from yesterday’s art project with Emma all over my hands, and I was pretty sure my sweater was three days old.
“See?” He shot me a blinding smile. “Everything is fine.”
“Yeah,” I murmured as I took my frustration out on one of Michael’s sippy cups.
“Hey,” my husband said as I struggled to get the lid screwed on. “Let me help.” He went to take it from my hands, but I snatched it away.
“I’ve got it.”
“If you say so.” Jackson chuckled. I might have assumed he didn’t see the warning signs. My sharp tone. My irritated glare. But then his fingers slid under my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Ana...” He waited, giving me space to answer.
“I’m fine.” The two words left my lungs in a sharp exhale.
His brow rose slightly. “It’s okay if you’re not.”
“I just... ugh.” I thrust the stupid sippy cup at him. “Cara and Braiden are on their honeymoon and Cassie was telling me about her weekend away with Dennis. They went to this fancy restaurant and had,”—I lowered my voice—“amazing sex."
“They had amazing sex at a restaurant?” Jackson smirked, and I batted his chest with my hand.
“Jackson, it’s not funny. I can’t remember the last time I felt sexy.” My eyes shifted over to where Emma sat at the table eating her cereal while Michael continued to smear banana around his tray, and a bolt of guilt flashed through me.
“Forget it, I’m being silly.” I went to walk away, but Jackson snagged my wrist.
“Ana, it’s okay to want more.”
“Is it?” I whispered. “I have everything I could ever want. You. The kids. This house. Our life together.”
Jackson’s eyes never left me as he closed the distance between us, crowding me against the counter. Dropping his head to mine, he inhaled deeply. “I miss you too. I miss making love to you. Hearing you moan my name. Feeling you com—”
“Jackson,” I gasped, my stomach tightening. “Don’t tease me.” I was a woman on edge already without his delicious words.
His hand swept up my arm and curved around my neck brushing the sensitive skin there. “We could let Dennis and Cassie take the kids—”
“No,” I rushed out. “I’m not ready.”
That was the funny thing about motherhood. I wanted nothing more than to spend the night with my husband. Just the two of us and no interruptions. A night away from responsibility and parenting. But I wasn’t ready to hand my kids over to someone for the night. I’d tried, more than once. And each time, we’d had to cancel our plans because I couldn’t rest.
I couldn’t forget the past.
My eyes closed, forcing out the bad memories. The pain and fear.
“Ana, look at me.” Jackson cupped my face, coaxing me back to him. “There’s no rush.”
I peeked an eye open. “Sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” I didn’t let myself go there often but sometimes the memories forced their way to the surface. It happened more often since having Emma and Michael. As if my maternal instinct to protect them at all costs swirled together with the memories of almost losing Jackson and created this monster.
We were safe. The threats of our past were gone. My head knew that.
I knew that.
But my heart… sometimes my heart forgot.
Jackson brushed a stray hair from my face and smiled. “Why don’t I take the kids out this afternoon? I need to pop into the office this morning, but I’ll be done early, then you can have some time out. Ask Cassie if she wants to check out that new spa downtown.”
“You don’t need to do that, I’m—”
“Fine.” He pecked my nose. “Ana, I don’t need to do anything. I want to.”
A girl’s afternoon did sound nice and if I couldn’t successfully have sex with my husband, then at least I could live vicariously through my best friend. So with a tentative smile, I said, “I’ll call her.”
Five hours later and I was primped and plucked within an inch of my life.
“This was fun.” Cassie kept her eyes on the road as we made our way back to our neighborhood. “Jackson is going to die when he sees you.”
I checked my reflection in the mirror, smoothing down my hair. When I’d called Cassie, she’d jumped at the chance to check out the new spa in town. But what was supposed to be a relaxing afternoon had turned into the full works. We’d had facials, mani-pedis, and I’d been coerced into getting my hair styled.
“You don’t think it’s a bit much?”
“Too much? Are you kidding? Jackson won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”
I groaned. “That kind of goes against the point.”
“Ana, you want to have hot sweaty sex with your husband, right?”
“Cassie, really?!”
“We’re almost thirty. I think we’re allowed to say hot sweat—”
“Okay, okay, I get your point. But it’s not like we can shut the kids in the bedroom and—”
“Ana.” I felt the weight of her stare as I watched the town roll by. “You’re a mom, not a nun. You have to get creative. Me and Dennis—”
“I do not want to hear about you and Dennis.” I’d heard enough about them at her bachelorette party last year. Things not even a best friend should know about her girlfriend’s husband-to-be. I hadn’t been able to look Dennis in the eye for weeks after that.
Cassie chuckled as she pulled into my driveway. “Next time I’m bringing Cara for reinforcements. We need to get you back on the horse.”
The horse wasn’t the issue. I wanted back on. God, did I ever. I just didn’t want to have one ear constantly tuned into the baby monitor.
“Thank you for today.” I grabbed the door handle, shooting Cassie a warm smile. “I needed it.” Despite her attempt at ‘sexifying’ me, I knew her heart was in the right place.
Her lip quirked up. “Enjoy, you deserve it.”
“Enjoy, enjoy what?” I asked. It seemed like a strange thing to say. But before I could get an answer out of her, she shooed me out of the car and backed out of the dr
ive.
Odd.
Running my hand down my glossy hair, I took a deep breath and made my way toward the house, and whatever chaos awaited me on the other side.
Jackson
I left my cell phone on the counter and made my way to the door. Ana’s eyes went wide as it swung open. “Jackson?”
“Hi.” I smiled, my throat constricting. Jesus, she looked so beautiful. Silky waves hung around her face and her lips were glossed. I hadn’t seen her hair down in forever. She insisted on keeping it up in a ponytail.
“Where are the kids?” She went to move around me, but I snagged her wrists and gently backed her against the wall.
“Hi,” I said again.
“Hi.” Her brows crinkled. “Why are you looking at me like that? It’s the hair, isn’t it? I told Cassie—”
“Ana, stop talking.”
Her lips parted to protest, but I stole her words, and her breath, as I sealed my lips over hers. Licking and stroking. Sucking and nibbling.
“Jackson,” she gasped. “The kids—”
“Are not here.” My lips dropped to her neck, but Ana tensed beneath me, her hands going to my sweater.
“What do you mean they’re not here? Where are they?” Panic laced every word.
“Ana, breathe,” I said. “They’re with Dennis, and Cassie is going straight home. They’re fine. I promise.”
She pulled back, staring up at me, fear glittering in her eyes. Ana found leaving them hard and I didn’t blame her. Not after what we’d been through when she was pregnant with Emma. But she needed this.
We needed this.
“I was with them until an hour ago. They’re fine. Dennis and Cassie have watched them before.”
“I know, I just...” She bit her lip, moisture collecting in her eyes.
Shit.
Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I was pushing too hard. But when Cassie had suggested I plan an afternoon date at the house, offering to watch the kids for us, I jumped at the idea. It might not have been a fancy restaurant or a night away in a hotel, but it was me and Ana and two or three hours of uninterrupted bliss.
