“This is bullshit! I can’t even!” Came the huff and folded arms from the back seat. “You’re a bitch Sarah. I can’t believe I came with you! Also, like where’s my phone? You had no right to take my phone! What if David texts?”
I gave Karsten a pleading look. “Can you say something?” I motioned with a nod to the back seat.
He merely shook his head and laughed. “No, no, I’m staying out of this.”
I whispered loudly, over my teenage vamp’s complaints to him, “Are you fricking kidding me? She’s driving me nuts! She doesn’t respect me! I don’t know what I’m going to do with her. She’s so immature and disrespectful!”
At my whisper, he burst out in a full belly laugh, which earned a glare from Amy and me.
“Really?” I threw my hands in the air.
In a deep voice, he looked in the rearview mirror at Amy. “Young lady, you mind your mother, or I’m going to pull this car over!” Then he resumed laughing heartily.
“That did not help, I hope you know!” I told him.
At the same time, Amy said, “What the fuck, dude?”
He earned sharp looks from both of us, but his joke worked because my newly acquired teenager was silent from there on out.
Chapter Twenty
The first moment when I opened my car door at the Bennett estate outside of Durango, I smelled them.
My kids, Becca and Jack were there.
I hesitated and wandered around in the afternoon sun, trying to decipher their whereabouts.
When I looked to Karsten, he nodded to me. “I smell them. I’ll take the teenage terror inside.”
“Okay, thanks. When are the extra guards supposed to arrive?”
“Tomorrow.” He told me, before ushering Amy up the steps to the porch and inside.
Carefully, I followed the path that led to the creek that went through the property. Trees were just starting to bud, the air was a little chilly from some rain, but the temperature was pleasant.
I heard them before I saw them and slowed my pace. I hadn’t drunk blood yet today, but I could do this. I needed to do this. I felt my hunger stir and pushed it away by counting my breaths.
“That’s silly, Jack!” Becca giggled, and I could hear her shoes slap the earth as she ran around.
Stopping just out of sight, I watched.
Their blood sang to me, and I took, deep breaths.
Sitting there, leaning against a tree was Emilie. She was barely bigger than the children, her spiraled locks flowing around her head like an older Shirley Temple.
Jack sat on her lap, his dirty hand clasping a silver bangle she wore on a long chain.
When she dipped her face and unconsciously kissed his head, jealousy consumed me.
They loved her, and she was beautiful with them. Her interactions came easily and effortlessly.
I’d examined her but still sniffed the air, sure that she was a human. Of course, she was Moroi.
If these hadn’t been my kids, I’d have thought she was their mother. Their flaxen hair matched that of the woman’s against the tree.
Then my anger began to melt when Jackson gazed tenderly into her eyes.
The kids loved her, and she obviously loved them. They flowed around her like a little stream, and she simply knew how to manage the chaos.
A wave of fear and self-doubt washed over me.
I could smell their blood… almost taste it. Sweet, like honey.
Maybe I shouldn’t be around them. Perhaps it was better to leave them with her.
When my darker feelings began to swamp me, I steeled my resolve.
I could do this. I’d prepared, and I’d been working hard.
A little peek wouldn’t hurt.
Pressing on, I continued down the path toward them.
Emilie sensed my presence right away and turned. It took longer for the kids to cease their play and watch the newcomer.
I thought of the moment when I’d bit Jackson and reminded myself that it wasn’t going to happen again.
I could control it.
They were my kids, and I was going to be in their life.
“Hi!” I said, with a cheerfulness and confidence I didn’t feel.
Emilie eyed me warily, and the kids instinctively drew into her, their tiny hands grasping her sweater and clinging to her arm.
“Hello, Sarah.” She said in a neutral voice. “I didn’t think you were able to be around…” She silently mouthed, “The kids.”
I sucked in a breath and raised my eyebrows at her, saying tightly, “Now that I’m doing better, I’m going to be in their life.”
My ex’s fiancé pulled herself to her full 5-foot height and blinked at me, whispering so that only we could hear. “Owen’s told them about you, but you should visit them later…with Owen.”
I ignored her.
My eyes were only for my babies.
Rebecca’s golden hair was plaited in the same braids as before.
I held my hand out to her, knowing I was a stranger. “Hello, Rebecca. I’m your ma… mom… I’m your mother.”
She stared me down with eyes precisely like my own, and I exhaled.
“I’ve missed you.”
“Daddy told us that you might come here.” She said petulantly. “We thought you were dead, but he told us you weren’t.” Her pink lips were pursed, and she regarded Emilie. “Em, is it true? Is she our mom?”
I envied the look my baby gave the other woman. It melted and broke my heart at the same time.
She took my daughter's hands in her own, and they locked eyes. “Yes, I met your mom,” She turned to me, “When I was sick. She was one of the doctors that took care of me.”
Becca’s eyes flipped back and forth between us adults.
Jackson pulled on Emilie with a whine, practically pulling her cardigan off.
Who wore cardigans anymore?
“I don’t like that lady! I want to go home!” He began to cry, and it was all I could do to not weep with frustration myself.
“It’s okay,” She told them, before ushering them toward home. “Go on, you two. I need to talk to Sarah.” She called as they took off running toward the house.
When she whirled on me, I was taken aback by the spirit in her eyes.
“I don’t want to get involved, but I feel that your timing is terrible! Why didn’t you let Owen sit them down and introduce you? You scared them.” Her eyes softened as she looked up at me.
Her face full of fear? Sorrow? Loss?
She continued in a softer tone. “I’m sorry. It’s just that with Owen turning and me being sick, they’ve been really shaken up. I would prefer to be cautious, and I think Owen would agree.”
I almost snorted. “So, living with the housekeeper for a few weeks is what you’re so worried about?”
“Not that you’d understand, because you haven’t been here.” Her lips were pressed together, and I felt her judgment lie heavily on me.
“Listen, Shirley Temple, I didn’t leave because I wanted to. I left to protect them!” I spat.
Her eyes narrowed at my slight. “As their mother, I would think that you’d want what’s best for them. If you really want to protect them, then you’d work with Owen on this. You need to talk to him.” She shook her head at me.
“I’m not going to listen to this!” I threw my hands up. “You aren’t their mother. You don’t have any say as to their well-being!”
Hands on hips, that little Moroi held her ground, even though her tone remained soft with something similar to pity. “I’m sorry that you went through whatever you did, but you need to follow some guidelines with this. If you really want them in your life, then you need to work this out with Owen.”
Bile rose in my throat along with frustration.
“Fine.” I simply said and brushed past her down the path away from the house. When she was out of earshot, I spat out, “Shit!”
I hadn’t been thinking.
I’d just gone to them, and I thought
…I thought that it would’ve been different. That they would’ve somehow known me and loved me.
I wanted them to be with me the way they’d been with her. But they hadn’t, and I should’ve known better. I was a stranger to them, and now they might not even want to know me.
Shirley Temple was right, damn! And even though I hadn’t wanted to admit it, she was kind telling me what she did.
I heard footsteps behind me and knew it was my Viking.
“I only wanted to see them… I know it was stupid!” I told him.
When Karsten’s arms wrapped around me, I snuggled into his warmth. “I know. That was hard. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have done the same thing myself.”
Turning in his grasp, I laid my head against his chest. “I shouldn’t have met them like this. What was I thinking? They must hate me.”
I could feel his chest rumble with a gentle laugh. “It’ll work out.”
“I want to hate her.” I took an unsteady breath. “But after watching her with the kids, I can’t. They love her… Why don’t they love me?” My voice cracked, and I trailed off.
Karsten pushed me away from him so that he could gaze into my eyes. “That doesn’t mean that they won’t love you just as much.”
He gave me a solemn look.
Then I rolled my eyes, thinking about Owen’s reaction. “Oh, great. I need to go deal with the ex.”
Tilting his head to the side, my Viking said, “You make so much drama. Just calm down and don’t let him get to you.”
I nodded. Easier said than done.
When we approached the house, sitting on the front wicker furniture was Amy and Owen. His mouth was set in a thin line of agitation. His head cocked to the side, jaw twitching.
Pasting on a smile, I spoke, “So, it looks like you’ve met Amy.”
He motioned for me to follow him inside, which I did, watching my feet as I carefully shut the door behind us.
We stood in the dark oak entryway, the cool light filtering in through the stain glass windows.
Owen’s nostrils flared, and he whispered to me, “Oh, Amy? You mean as in the Butcher, Amy? The mass murderer and crazy scientist? What the heck, Sarah?”
I swallowed, wondering when he’d grown a backbone. “I brought her here to help us with a cure. There’s no one better to help us stop this disease, and you know it.”
He ran his fingers through his hair in agitation. Then the muscle in his jaw ticked.
“No, this is a bad idea. I know that I’m already being watched by probably two other Moroi clans.” He pursed his lips, and I waited for him to get it all out. “We’ve all been through enough already! I’ve been shot! The kids could’ve been here! You’re adding extra danger, and the sad and terrible part of it all is that you either don’t know or don’t care. I’m not sure which is worse.”
I blinked in confusion. “Tomorrow, a whole unit of soldiers will be here to protect us. We need to keep Amy safe–she’s the key to understanding these diseases.”
“You’re unbelievable! I spoke to her. She’s an out of control teenager. I’ve already called Hazel, and she’s leaving.” He said tightly.
“Pfft.” I shook my head, “Didn’t you feel how powerful she is? She’s very old.” I tilted my head to the side and really examined my ex. “You’re just mad because you didn’t think of this first. All our lead people are here working on the virus–this is the logical place to bring the creator of it.”
We stood there in uncomfortable silence for a moment.
Then Owen burst out again, motioning with his hands. “Oh yeah, and, you’re at it again with your same old tricks! Emilie told me what happened in the forest.” His mouth twisted. “What were you thinking? Again.”
I crossed my arms defensively. “Look, I wanted our first meeting to go better, but when I knew they were right here, I wanted to see them with my own eyes. You don’t know what it’s been like for me, all these years.”
His face had become a mask of indifference. “You’re right, I don’t know. I don’t have hunger problems.”
With that comment, he turned on his heel and made his way toward the back of the house.
I thought about following him and continuing our argument but decided against it.
Just as I was about to go back to the front porch, Emilie touched my arm to stop me. “Are you okay? I’ve been thinking about everything, and I know Owen can be harsh, but he wants what’s best for the kids.”
I sighed, still irritated. “I know you’re trying to be nice, but seriously, I know Owen. We were married, you don’t have to tell me his faults or apologize for him.” I didn’t want to be friends with this woman or Owen for that matter.
I was here for the science, the protection, and the lab.
…And my kids, of course.
Chapter Twenty-One
When I finally got Amy set up with my tech, transcribing notes on OVC, I made my way back to the kitchen. Pouring a cup of coffee and adding some sugar I sat down at the large farmhouse table.
Lost in my own thoughts, I still noticed Shirley Temple grab a Coke Zero from the fridge and take a seat across from me.
She popped the top and took a sip.
“You know, you can drink regular sodas. Sugar doesn’t matter–you’ll burn off the calories as a Moroi.” I raised an eyebrow. “Wow, if I didn’t know better, I really would think you were a human.” I watched as she took regular breaths like a human, shifted around and finally met my eyes.
“What?” She checked her yoga t-shirt, wondering if she’d spilled. Carefully, she adjusted her headband that held her unruly curls at bay… just like a human would. “Oh, I’m just used to diet. I always drink diet soda.”
I waved a hand in her direction. “Is it true that you’d never met any other Moroi until you moved here?”
She didn’t answer but instead asked, “What about you? Owen says that you’re a new vampire.”
I laughed, “Wow! Vampire! I don’t usually hear that word. Yeah, I was changed the day I had Jackson.” I leaned back in my chair, and the wood creaked beneath me.
Her eyes narrowed as she warily inspected her fingernails. “So, you had him and didn’t come back?” Her green eyes darted to my own sheepishly. “There must be a reason.”
She really went straight to the heart of the matter. I felt like, maybe, in another life, we might’ve been friends.
I sighed, “I have trouble with the thirst… it’s actually pretty common.” For some reason, I felt compelled to explain myself. “Statistics say that excessive bloodlust effects 89% of freshly turned Moroi. It usually lasts from three to ten years.”
“So, you’re around six years? Is it gone?”
It wasn’t, but I refused to admit that. “What about you? Did you have insatiable thirst your first few years.”
She screwed up her face, eyes wide. “I don’t think so. I didn’t even know what I was for several months.”
I gave Shirley Temple an incredulous look. “Bullshit.”
She shook her head innocently. “I thought I was dying. I did like meat super rare and drank the blood off with a spoon. But I would puke if I ate anything else.”
I sighed and stirred my dark coffee. “I officially hate you now.” Then I laughed and her mouth curved upward too. “I still struggle eating regular food…”
She cut me off. “Yeah, that lasts for a long time, but in a few decades, you should be better and able to eat more human food and less blood.”
“Wow, such great words of help.” I threw my hands up. “A few decades!”
She reached across the table and touched my hand that was holding the mug. “Sarah, I’m sorry you went through that.” Our gazes held and she tapped my fingers. “You’ll be alright. Just hang on, things will be better.” Then as quickly as she’d touched me, her hand was gone.
We sat there in our own minds for a while before her eyes met mine again.
“I need to talk to you about something else. It doesn’t hav
e to do with Owen or the kids.”
“Okay,” I said cautiously.
“It’s about your bodyguard.”
“Karsten?” I looked around, but he must’ve been outside. “What about him?”
Her head lowered and she sucked in several shaky breaths. “I think… I think he’s the one who made me…what I am…all those years ago.”
A shiver ran through me and goosebumps raised on my arms. “What? That’s a high crime to leave a newly made Moroi.”
“I know. I don’t want to get him into trouble, but… I want an explanation. Or maybe it wasn’t him…I don’t know. Will you come with me when I talk to him?”
“Why me? Why don’t you ask Owen?”
“I feel weird about it. I feel…a… a connection.”
Fuck. A connection formed between Moroi maker and child. Even Owen would feel a bond with Sten since Emilie was his maker. Sharing a bloodline did that to people.
She cut me off, “If he’s not, I don’t want to worry Owen. I’ll tell him if he is though.”
I held my hand up. “He isn’t. I promise. He’s a good man, and he wouldn’t do that.” I looked away to think.
Karsten wasn’t part of the Chronos Clan, he was just here temporarily. What did I really know about him?
Getting up, I looked back at Emilie and said, “He isn’t. You should just let it go.”
Walking to the front door, I went out into the meadow.
Why had I come here?
What was I trying to do? Drive myself insane?
I laid down in the golden grass and stared up at the impossibly blue sky.
Amy didn’t have a cure.
She should be in a cell somewhere deep inside Chronos, not in my ex-husband's house. What was I doing?
I sat up and hugged my knees. I needed to talk to my Viking.
I hoped Emilie would let the whole “maker” thing go. She had to be wrong, didn’t she?
I realized that she’d followed me outside and stood on the porch watching me.
“Do you know where he is?” She called out.
There was no shaking her. I guess now was as good a time as any. Brushing my backside off, I pulled out my phone and texted him.
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