"Why?" The pleasure that had been tingling through me was feeling a lot more like shock suddenly.
"I was worried he might believe Chad, and I wanted to make sure he knew how fantastic you are."
I stood up before I'd even thought to do it. "I can't believe you did that," I said, anger flaring inside me and muddling my emotions. I hadn't earned Austin's offer all on my own. Juliet had lubricated this situation just like she'd done with everything else. All the pride I'd felt glowing inside me as I'd considered Austin's offer dimmed, as I realized the one thing I thought I'd gotten on my own merits had been just one more bit of charity.
"Jace?" Juliet said, rising slowly from the table. "Why do you look angry?"
I didn't want to yell at her—this was just one more example of Juliet doing something nice. Something I should be grateful for. But I didn't want to be grateful to her. I wanted to be so much more than that to her.
I couldn't talk to her right now. I didn’t know what to do, as shame flooded every cell inside me. I was nothing. I was so stupid. My world was crumbling again, my freshly recreated image of myself falling to pieces at my feet.
“I can’t believe you did that,” I said, my voice unrecognizable.
“I …” the confusion in Juliet’s eyes was the hardest thing to take. She had been doing something good. She was always doing something good. Why couldn’t I just accept her gifts and be happy?
“I need to think. I need some time.”
“Time for what? To think about what, Jace? We finally get to be together. I want to be with you.”
I stared at her, her perfect face shining in the moonlight, her big eyes wide and trusting. She was a good person. The best. And I thought she probably deserved much more than a man she’d have to keep saving over and over again. More than me.
"I'm gonna call it a night,” I told her. I knew we had to talk more, but I couldn’t do it right then. “I'll let Christian know you're still up." I went inside without looking at her again, hating myself with every step.
Chapter Thirty-One
Juliet
I watched Jace walk away, knowing he was angry or hurt, wishing he would stay and talk to me, tell me how I could fix it. Because everything I’d done today had been so that we could be together. Because that was what I wanted. I wanted something for me that wasn’t about perceptions or spin. Something that felt good and true.
But maybe it was already too late?
The party had been a trial—knowing Alison was watching me closely based on what Chad had told her that morning about me and Jace, knowing she was likely to write something not about how I was moving forward in a new relationship ahead of my next big film, but about how I’d faked a relationship to distract the world from what a disaster my life was.
Because wasn’t that exactly what I’d done?
After Chad left, I’d made quite a few phone calls. First to Zac, to let him know he could go ahead and release the tape, and that my attorney would be in touch with his about the settlement I’d already offered. Then, to Austin, letting him know exactly what kind of employee he had in Chad. And in Jace, of course. And then I’d called my agent to let her know we would need to prepare for some fallout.
But instead of fear, I felt excitement. I felt as strong and confident as my little sister looked when she was beating up the heavy bag in the basement. I felt like I was in charge for a change. And it felt good.
I didn’t know if it was playing Warcraft, or maybe just talking to Gran that had helped me come to terms with the fact that I needed to live life for me. Hell, maybe it was the joint I’d borrowed.
Whatever it was, I’d come to Gran’s party a different version of myself. A better version.
And that’s a lot of what Alison Sands and I talked about. I couldn’t control what she wrote. If she decided to go with some kind of scandalous starlet and bodyguard piece, I couldn’t stop her. If she decided to make it even worse, that was up to her. I told her the truth—about everything. And what she did with it was out of my hands.
By the time we were all relaxing on the back porch, I was imagining myself going to Jace’s room, spending the night with him and enjoying the freedom that came with not hiding.
But Jace seemed to have other plans, and when he left me sitting on the porch alone, I began to wonder if I’d misread everything. If I’d been wrong about what lay between us. If I’d been wrong about everything.
Tomorrow we’d head back to Los Angeles. I needed to talk to him. Now.
I took a deep breath, gathering the strength that had been driving me through this day, and went inside.
In the hallway where the security team was sleeping, I found Chessy nestled into a blanket just outside Jack’s door. She eyed me suspiciously in the dim light, but didn’t say anything. I chuckled at the hen who’d fallen in love with a handsome strong man. I knew how she felt. “Wish me luck, Chessy,” I said softly, just as I was about to knock on Jace’s door.
It opened before I had a chance. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I tilted my head at him, a little confused. “How did you know I was here?”
“Heard you talking to the chicken.” He gazed past me toward Chessy, who gave him a low squawk before closing her eyes again. “Or maybe I just felt you out here. I don’t know.”
I liked that. I liked thinking Jace could feel me, could know I was nearby without seeing me.
“Can I come inside?” He looked so sad, I wanted to reach up and rub my fingers along the side of his face, comfort him. The dark eyes glimmered in the hallway light and his big shoulders, which stood out thanks to the white tank undershirt he’d stripped down to, were tight and tense.
“Yeah.” He opened the door all the way and closed it behind me, and then he moved to a chair in the far corner and sat, looking defeated. He dropped his elbows onto his thighs and hung his head. His powerful legs were spread wide, the broad shoulders hunched.
“You’re angry at me,” I said. It had been clear on the porch, so there was no point dancing around it.
“I was. I’m not.” He wasn’t looking at me, staring instead at his fingers as he flexed and tightened them where they hung between his knees.
“Then—?” I moved to sit on the edge of the bed. My fingers were aching to touch him, but I knew I couldn’t right then. There was something between us, something stopping us from being together. We needed to defeat it, and then the path would be clear for us to move forward.
“Shit, Juliet,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “How can you even look at me?”
I felt my eyebrows lower in confusion as I tried to understand his question. This was not what I’d expected. “What? What do you mean?”
“In your eyes, I’ve gotta be just some sad asshole from the wrong side of town who can’t manage a goddamned thing for himself.” His words were filled with self-loathing and they sounded like they hurt coming out.
My heart squeezed itself into a fist, aching for the pain I could see in his face. “Jace, no. Where is this coming from?”
“You called Austin. You’re the only reason he offered me the firm.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I said the words immediately, but after they were out, I realized what he had been thinking—that I’d told Austin to give him the firm, that somehow I’d made this happen for him. No wonder he was angry.
“You saved me again. I couldn’t take care of myself, so you saved me.”
Would we ever get past this same argument? Frustration bubbled in my stomach, making it difficult to sit. “That’s not what happened. That’s not how any of this happened.”
He blew out a sharp breath, a sound of disbelief.
That little sound set me off, and the strength I’d found today pushed me to my feet. “No, Jace. It’s not.”
He didn’t look up, but I kept talking.
“I admire you for the pride that makes you want to do everything for yourself—I know it’s a big part of what makes you who you are. It’s part of you
r strength, your integrity. You see the world in black and white, fair and unfair, right, wrong. And that’s admirable. But it’s also a distorted view of reality.”
He glanced at me, narrowing his eyes. I felt his gaze like a spotlight, hot and focused.
I went on. “The world doesn’t work that way, and I’m sure you know it. Things aren’t always clear or straightforward, and no one person gets through life entirely on their own. We start our lives needing other people desperately—as helpless babies. And once we’re raised, we go out in the world, leave our families, and we meet other people along the way who hopefully offer us guidance so we can continue to grow. And sometimes, we meet exactly the right people at exactly the right time to help change our lives so much we’re able to become entirely new versions of ourselves.” It was a little out there, but I was circling in on what I was trying to say.
“No one does everything alone. What a shitty, horrible life that would be.” An ironic laugh escaped me as I thought about it. “We are social creatures, Jace. We need a community. And the reason we need that is because we can’t do it all alone.”
He shook his head, still not getting the message I was trying to give him.
“You’re not my charity case,” I finally said plainly. “You and your family, the things I’ve tried to do, it hasn’t been charity. It’s been humanity. Community. Paying it forward.”
He opened his mouth, about to argue, and I held up a hand, stopped in my pacing in front of him.
“You’ve met my Gran, my sister. You see where I came from. I didn’t emerge, a fully formed person in Hollywood, suddenly famous. And I didn’t get there by myself. I got lucky, and I had a lot of help. I had people step up, people who’d been lucky before me, people willing to pay my way for a while as I forged a new path. I had a community.”
“I hear you,” he said finally, standing in the center of the room. “Stop pacing around, you’re making me tired.”
I stood still. “Okay.”
“Look, Juliet. I hear what you’re saying. I understand that sometimes people help us out, I get that. It’s just—when you’ve spent your life trying to take care of people and someone else comes along and does all the things you could never do for them, and makes it look easy—well, it’s hard not to feel small and impotent.”
“We talked about that,” I said, my charge of energy beginning to fade, leaving me feeling tired, wrung out. “I thought we’d gotten past that.”
“Maybe,” Jace said, dropping his chin before looking back up to catch my eyes. “I thought I was okay with it. But then I talked to Austin, and I felt like finally I’d done something myself. Earned something myself. Like maybe you and I could be equals in a way. And to find out the only reason he made the offer was because you called ahead and greased the wheels—”
“Hold on,” I said, putting a hand on his chest. “I didn’t ‘grease the wheels’—what is it with you and all the lube references, anyway?” I shook my head. “That’s not important right now. Listen. When I called Austin, it was to tell him what a douche Chad was, and to assure him that the rest of his team was incredible. I told him how happy I was with Jack, with Christian, and with you. That’s all. I didn’t tell him he should pay you more or offer you a job. And even if I did, why would he listen to me? Passing on his firm is a huge business decision. Some movie star calling to tell him what to do wouldn’t have much bearing on a choice like that.”
Jace looked like he was thinking about my words, though his gaze was on my hand, still pressed to the hard warmth of his chest.
“I didn’t get you the offer,” I said, my voice softer. “You did that. He chose you because he values your work, because you’ve shown him the kind of person you are. Jace, don’t you see that?”
Jace’s hand covered mine, holding it to his chest for a minute. Then he lifted my palm from his chest and brought it to his mouth, planting a soft kiss in the center of my hand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“And equals?” I added. “Of course we’re equals.” I hung my head for a moment, trying to understand why he felt this was important. “Your ego gets in your way, and it needs to apologize,” I said. “Don’t let it stop you from taking the good things in your life.”
“My ego wants to do a lot more than apologize,” he said, reaching for me and pulling me gently against him. “But we’re both sorry. I’ve been an idiot, Juliet. I’m just used to doing everything on my own. I’ve never had anyone else.”
“It’s okay,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist, closing my eyes as the warm solidity of his chest pressed against my cheek. I wanted to be the person to show Jace he didn’t have to do everything alone. Maybe we were finally on the road where I could.
“You’re amazing,” he said, his arms around me. “Am I really this lucky?”
“As lucky as I am,” I told him, tilting my face up to look at him.
He leaned his head down and pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that was tender and sweet, filled with promises of tomorrows and the future. “Juliet,” he said quietly. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
My heart nearly popped inside me and I felt the smile pull my mouth wide. “I’m already there,” I told him. “I do love you, Jace.”
He kissed me again, and this kiss wasn’t soft or gentle, but the kiss of a man about to claim what was his. I melted against him and let him lift me off my feet and carry me to his bed.
That night, Jace and I went slowly, exploring each other as if for the first time. We peeled clothing from each other’s bodies, every inch of skin a revelation that merited attention, worship. We kissed, licked, sucked, caressed … and by the time I lay in the center of Jace’s bed, looking up into his handsome face as he held himself over me, muscles flexing and a look of focused concentration in his eyes, the world felt right again. When he notched himself against me and lowered himself to kiss me gently, he said, “I love you, Juliet,” and a feeling of such warm rightness flooded me. When he slid into me, pressing every last delicious inch into my eager depths, we both moaned with pleasure, and I didn’t think I’d ever feel truly complete again, without this. Without him.
We moved together, knowing that maybe for the first time we had a right to be this way. We didn’t have to hide, pretend, or sneak around.
We were two people in love. Two equals, making love, because it felt right.
And when the waves of pleasure racked through us both, when I clung to Jace like a life raft in a swirling, heaving sea of sensation, I knew I didn’t want anything else in the world.
We fell asleep after, neither of us needing to get up and sneak away, and the satisfaction I felt made every inch of me glow.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jace
Waking up with Juliet Manchester in my arms, knowing I could hold her and love her without hiding from anyone … well, that was like Christmas morning, my birthday, and the biggest cheese festival in the world all rolled into one (I liked cheese, so sue me.)
“Good morning,” she purred, her bright eyes blinking open as sunlight spread gradually through the room, casting everything in a warm yellow glow. The light was perfect for the way I was feeling—golden, pure.
“Hey,” I said, nestling her against my chest so I could feel her silky hair against my shoulder, her soft skin pressed to my stomach and hip. “Sleep okay?”
She tilted her head a little, meeting my eyes as I angled my head to look down at her. “Jace, I think that was the best I’ve ever slept in my life.”
Something like pride swelled inside me. “I slept well too.”
“You told me once you don’t sleep much.”
“It’s never been easy for me,” I said. “But with you … I don’t know.”
“Maybe you just sleep better when you’re not alone,” she suggested as I my fingers trace down the skin of her shoulder.
“No,” I told her. I knew from the few times I’d spent the night with other women that having them there didn’t help
at all. “Even when there’s been someone else with me, I end up laying there awake, or getting up to read.” Her fingers danced across my chest, and then wandered lower, until I felt them teasing along the sides of my suddenly awake cock.
“It’s you,” I said.
Juliet’s fingers stopped teasing, and began a more focused exploration. As her hand stroked me, her fingers dipping around to fondle and squeeze my balls now and then, I gritted my teeth and tensed up, every cell in my body suddenly alive, focused on her cool hand on my dick.
She lay against me still, her hand working up and down, pumping me harder and faster as my own pre-cum slicked the movement until I was nearly shaking with pleasure. I pushed a second pillow behind my neck, tilting my head so I could watch her hand on me, that fair, perfect skin contrasted with the swollen purple of my cock. It was erotic, and the sight just about did me in.
And then she stopped. At first, disappointment flooded me, and I feared she was going to leave me here, desperate for release. But I opened my eyes again to see her smiling at me just before she slid a leg over my hips and impaled herself in one slide.
“Fuck, you’re wet,” I moaned.
“It turns me on, touching you,” she answered as she began to slide herself over me in a smooth, leisurely stroke that I was fairly certain would kill me. “Is this okay?”
Her innocent words and the uncertainty they held played into every virgin fantasy I’d ever had, and while Juliet was thankfully not a virgin, I loved her sweetness and I felt myself pushing even closer to the edge.
“It’s perfect,” I managed to say, fighting to keep from grunting and rolling her to her back so I could rut into her like an animal.
She kept up the slow steady rhythm, and it was torture of the very best kind. And soon, she was moaning with each thrust, and the rhythm increased as she worked her body on top of mine. When she closed her eyes and began arching over me, I couldn’t take anymore. I held her hips and pressed up into her, taking over the rhythm and fucking her hard, making her cry out.
Happily Ever Hers: Movie Stars in Maryland, Book Two Page 20
