by Lynn Lorenz
Sammi gasped. “Not your mom!”
Phillip hung his head, breaking their contact. “Please don’t tell anyone, especially not Rush or Brian. By the time I was fifteen, I knew it was wrong and someday we’d get caught. She’d go to jail and I didn’t know what would happen to me. So, I left.”
“You were fifteen?”
“No, sixteen. But I’d been fighting with her about it for nearly a year. I’d refuse and she’d…” He rubbed his knee as if the old pain was back.
Sammi closed his eyes. “She beat you. With a…broom handle? Oh, Phillip, I’m so sorry.” He shook his head. “I used to get beat too.” He reached out and took Phillip’s hand. “My mom died when I was very young. I was in foster care, I don’t remember how many homes. Everyone was scared of me because I knew what they were thinking. Most people have such awful thoughts, they scared me. Some of them just gave me back. Some thought they could make me behave by punishing me.” He squeezed Phillip’s hand tighter.
Phillip had never met such a kindred spirit. He gave Sammi’s hand an answering squeeze. “I understand. It’s like a betrayal, you know. Your mom’s supposed to look out for you, teach you how to be a good person, not teach you how to be a thief. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive her, as long as I live. Because I was so scared of her, I stole from folks. Old people mostly. Got them to write her checks. Give her jewelry and stuff.” He ran his hand over his face. “And the worst part is I knew better.”
“You can’t forgive her if you can’t forgive yourself.” Sammi patted his face.
Phillip snorted. “Guess you’re right. Not sure if that’s ever going to happen. I hurt a lot of people, Sammi.”
“But you were a kid, and a scared kid as well.”
“Not sure if the cops would see it that way. The day I left, the cops had my mom and me picked up and questioned. There was no way they could prove we forced someone to give us money, unless one of us told. And would they even believe it?” He shook his head again. “They let me go first, and I rushed back to the room we stayed at, packed a bag and lit out. Never looked back.” He stood. “So, you see, I’m not one to judge. I got to go get ready, Sammi.”
Sammi let go of his hand. “I’m glad we talked. I can always use another friend. Thanks for listening. And sharing. And I promise, I won’t tell a soul.” He made the motions of zipping his mouth closed and throwing away the key.
Phillip laughed. “Same here, friend.” With a nod, he went inside and up the stairs to his room to get ready. Somehow, he felt lighter, like he’d dropped a heavy sack of grief off his shoulder.
“I guess that’s what friends are for,” he mumbled as he stripped off his work clothes.
Naked, he went into his bathroom and started the shower. He had plenty of time to get ready.
Would it look too anxious to wait for Estaban on the front porch? Or should he act cool and wait for him inside?
He’d never been on a date before. Maybe he should ask one of the guys.
Brian would probably know what to do, since he’d been out for so long. Most likely, he’d had a lot of dates.
Phillip crowed, his head bent back, his voice echoing off the tiles of the shower.
“I got a date!”
.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Estaban drove down the highway until he reached the turn-off. A metal sign stretched across the drive—Double T Ranch—and he turned in. The gravel road was well kept, no ruts or potholes. The trees lining it gave it shade and looked pretty.
He spotted the cluster of buildings. Ranch house, a couple of barns and a small work shed, all freshly painted.
The Westons had a going cattle concern and it showed. Phillip had been very lucky to land here. He said he was happy, but Estaban missed him at the garage. Phillip made his life happier just being there.
And speaking of the man, Phillip sat in the swing on the front porch. Estaban drove up, parked and got out. His mom had taught each of her boys how to properly pick up a date—you got out, didn’t honk, and rang the doorbell.
No doorbell, but he walked up the steps to meet Phillip, who’d risen to his feet and came forward. They met at the top of the steps.
“Hi!” Phillip sounded breathless. And he looked good enough to eat. Tight jeans, pressed western-style white shirt, nice boots. Not too fancy, but mouthwatering.
“Hola!” Estaban got to the porch and couldn’t decide to offer his hand or not. He paused, then stuck it out, but Phillip grabbed it and pulled him into a bro-hug, one-handed shake and a chest bump with a back slap.
Estaban hung on long enough to get a sniff of Phillip’s aftershave. Something woodsy and leathery. Nice. Then he let go and took a step back.
“You look great!” Phillip grinned at him as his gaze swept up and down Estaban’s body.
“You too.” Estaban swallowed. Man, all he wanted was to take Phillip in his arms and kiss him. But that would be for later. He had to keep telling himself to go slow, that this was a date, not a hook-up.
The screen door opened and a man stepped out. He was tall, slender but his muscles showed, and he had a twinkle in his eyes.
Phillip stepped back. “Uh, Rush. This is Estaban Martinez, from the garage.”
Rush extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Estaban.” They shook. “Phillip says you’re a great mechanic.”
Estaban glanced at Phillip. “Thanks. I do my best.” He shrugged. “It’s sort of a calling. Been doing it most of my life. It’s awfully nice of you to let Phillip stay here.”
Rush leaned against the wall of the porch. “Well, he needed a spot and it looks like I needed a new hand. So, I guess it worked out good for everyone.”
“Except me.” Estaban frowned. “I swear, it’s been so boring without Phillip there to talk to, you know?”
Phillip grinned even bigger. “Aw, you miss me.”
Now, it was Estaban’s turn to blush.
“Okay, you two. Best be on your way.” Rush laughed. “And Phillip? If you come back late, the front door will be open. Brian gets home around midnight.” He turned to go inside, then halted. “Oh, if you stay out all night, remember work starts at six a.m.” He winked, but before Phillip could respond, he went inside and shut the door.
“Ranching starts early.” Estaban stared at where Rush had been. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you back home at a reasonable hour.”
Phillip blushed and Estaban’s heart tripped. Man, the guy looked so cute.
“Sure. It’s just dinner, right?” He gazed into Estaban’s eyes. He was such a goner.
“Dinner. Yep.” Estaban moved down the steps and Phillip followed. He opened Phillip’s door and stepped around to the driver’s side. He wanted to treat Phillip right, but not too much like a lady. He wished he knew the rules for guys dating guys. Damn, this dating stuff was confusing.
“Thanks.” Phillip got in and put on his seatbelt. “I’m hungry. Can’t wait to dive into that steak.” He rubbed his hands then placed them on his thighs.
“Me too.” Estaban started the truck and backed out. He drove down the road to the highway, paused to check for traffic, then headed back to town. “I noticed you’re not limping. What happened?”
“Oh, well, uh…one of the guys, Edward, he does massages. Seems like all I needed was to get those muscles loosened up.” He turned to gaze out of the door’s window. “It’s really helped.”
“I’m glad. I hated to see you hurting.” He wanted Phillip to know he’d noticed and cared, without getting too mushy.
“I hope this wasn’t too far out of the way.” Phillip smiled at him. “I usually walk everywhere, you know, but this was a little far. And it wouldn’t feel right to ask Rush or Brian to drive me to a date, like I was still a kid.”
“It’s not a problem.” Estaban tapped his finger on the wheel. “I’d drive just about anywhere to get you.” Damn, he’d done it again. Sounding all sappy.
Phillip blushed and lowered his head. Estaban’s heart beat harder. A
ll he wanted was to hold Phillip against him, kiss him, bury his face in his neck. Dinner might not last long enough before he gave in and touched Phillip.
They drove in a comfortable silence for a while, not really needing to fill the space with small talk. Estaban was happy just having Phillip sit next to him, breathing the same air inside the truck.
He reached Main Street and continued toward the interstate, until he came to the restaurant. The Cattleguard was the nicest place in town. Okay, it was the only nice place in town. The only other choices were the Dairy Queen or the diner. Spring Lake was small-town Texas, for sure.
The parking lot was full, so he hunted for a spot, found one toward the back and parked. They got out and walked to the front of the long, low ranch-style building. At the entrance, a low porch stretched across it, with benches lined against the wall for customers who had to wait. Only a few of the benches were filled.
“Good thing I made a reservation.” Estaban nodded toward the people. He and Phillip went inside to the hostess’s desk. “Reservation for two, Martinez.”
She looked down her list. “Yes. Please wait and I’ll get your table ready.” She scribbled on something, then motioned to one of the waiters. “Please show Mr. Martinez to table forty-two.” She handed the server two menus and smiled at them. “Enjoy your meal, gentlemen.”
“Follow me, please.” The waiter walked off and Estaban almost reached to take Phillip’s hand, but at the last second, pulled it back. As much as he might like to be able to hold his date’s hand, this wasn’t the place to try it.
The Cattleguard was one of those old-fashioned steak houses, where you could go pick out your steak. They walked past a long glass case where steaks were laid out for selection. Estaban licked his lips.
“Getting worked up?” Phillip grinned at him. “Careful, you’re drooling.”
Estaban laughed. “Don’t laugh at me, you’re drooling too.”
The waiter stopped at a table and motioned for them to sit. They were placed against the wall and had a great view of the room. They sat and he handed them the menus. “I’ll be right back. What can I get you to drink?”
“Iced tea for me. I’m driving.” Estaban glanced over at Phillip.
“Iced tea.”
“Sweet or unsweetened?” The waiter held his pen over his pad.
“Sweet!” they both said at the same time. The waiter nodded and walked off.
“Is there any other kind of tea?” Estaban grimaced.
“I think they ask that for the ladies who are dieting,” Phillip whispered.
“Never thought of that.” Estaban opened his menu and scanned it. “Don’t worry about the cost, Phillip. I asked you out, so I’m paying.”
Phillip looked up and their gazes locked. He didn’t say anything for a long moment and Estaban worried he’d said something wrong.
“Okay. But next time, I’m paying.” He smiled then read the menu.
Next time! “Sure. Of course.” That had to be a good sign. Estaban exhaled.
“These all look good. But I think I’ll have the ribeye, baked potato with everything and do you want to split the mushrooms?” Phillip licked his lips.
“Look who’s drooling now?” Estaban chuckled. “Sure. I’m getting the sirloin and potato.” He put down his menu. “Should I hold the green onions?”
Phillip frowned. “Green onions?”
“On the baked potato.”
“Oh.” Phillip frowned, then a smile lit his face. “Oh, yes. No onions.” He shook his head and gave Estaban a shy smile.
“Good.” Estaban’s heart might just explode. This was ridiculous. He was acting like a teenager with his first crush—giddy, heart-pounding and excited like he hadn’t been in years. All over this younger man. A younger, adorable man.
The waiter returned with their drinks, took their orders, then left.
“So, how’s life on the ranch?” Estaban sipped his tea.
“So far, great. My ass is sore, but I’ll get used to it.”
Estaban nearly sprayed his tea out of his nose. “Your ass is sore?”
“From riding. Horses.” Phillip laughed. “What did you think I meant?”
“Uh…never mind.” Estaban cleared his throat.
Phillip sobered. “You know there’s nothing going on between me and Rush or Brian, right? They’re just nice guys. Friends. And I haven’t had many friends, so I’m not going to do anything to screw this up.” He reached across the table to touch Estaban’s hand, then stopped.
“I… Guess my mind was in the gutter.” Estaban shrugged. “I can’t help be a little jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“That they get to see you every day. Work with you. Have meals with you.” Estaban looked around, then exhaled. “I miss you, Phillip.”
Phillip’s cheeks turned that adorable shade of pink. “I miss you, too.” He sighed. “But the ranch, it’s what I’ve dreamed of doing most of my life. I want to give this a try, find out if it’s right for me, not just some dream I’ve blown up into something unreal.”
“I hear you. I want you to be happy.”
“Right now, at this moment, I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” Phillip gazed into Estaban’s eyes.
“Really?”
“Really.” Phillip gave a short nod.
Estaban couldn’t fight back the grin that exploded on his face. “That’s good to know.”
“And you? Are you happy?”
“Now? Hell, yes. Like a kid with a new puppy.” Estaban bit his bottom lip. “Uh, I didn’t mean to say you’re a puppy…”
“It’s all right. I got your meaning.” He leaned closer. “And I’m not worried about our age difference. I like that you’re older than me.”
The waiter delivered their meals on a huge tray, interrupting what Estaban would have said. He swallowed it down, saving it for later. I want to be your man. His mind kept telling him to go slow, but his body, his damned body wanted every piece of Phillip.
But everything Phillip was saying, and how he was acting, told Estaban that Phillip might just feel the same way. For once in a very long time, he’d found someone he could share his life with, someone he could tell his deepest secret to, and who would still love him.
He dug into his meal, glad he’d held the onions on the baked potato. He didn’t want anything to spoil it when he kissed Phillip tonight. And he was sure as the sky was blue and August in Texas was hot as hell, he was going to kiss him for all he was worth.
Phillip cut into his steak and moaned. “That’s so tender, it just melts in your mouth.”
Christ, the guy was killing him. He wanted to lean in and whisper, ‘you’re going to melt in my mouth when I blow you’ but he swallowed it down.
Instead, he nodded. “It’s really good. And the potato is perfect.”
Phillip nodded. “So fluffy and light. And I love all the salt on the skin. Tasty.” He licked his lips and Estaban watched as his tongue slid over his plump bottom lip.
Salty skin? Jesus, was he saying and doing these things to get Estaban hot, or was he oblivious to the reaction he was getting? Because it was working, no matter what he intended.
Estaban took a long sip of his tea, letting the chilled liquid cool him down. His cock stiffened, strangled in his now too-tight jeans. He wanted to shift it, but would anyone see him? He glanced past Phillip, around the restaurant, and froze.
Sitting a few tables away was his boss, Joe Smith, and his wife, having dinner.
The ground almost fell out of Estaban’s world. He grabbed the edge of the table and held on. Smith stared at him, eyes wide and brows reaching for his hairline.
Estaban nodded to him, just in recognition. Phillip’s back was to Smith, so maybe Smith didn’t recognize him. Oh, shit.
“Shit.” He tried to act casual. “Don’t look, but Joe Smith is here with his wife and he just spotted me.”
The color drained from Phillip’s face. “What if he comes over? What if he a
sks what you’re doing with me? I don’t want you to get in trouble.” He blinked as if he was fighting back tears or fear. Estaban hated that he looked so afraid.
“Hey, we’re just friends having a meal, that’s all.” Estaban shrugged.
Phillip nodded and took another bite. “Is he coming over?”
Estaban glanced back, but Smith was gone. Where the hell did he go? Estaban leaned a little to the left to see past Phillip. Nothing.
“Maybe he went to the gents.” He went back to eating his steak.
A minute later, a familiar voice said, “Well, look who’s here. Two of my favorite employees.” He slapped Phillip on the back and grinned at them.
Phillip choked. “Employees?”
Estaban grimaced. “Hello, Mr. Smith. Guess you didn’t hear about Phillip? Flynn let him go, two days before Christmas.”
Smith’s face drained of color, as if someone pulled the plug on a tub of water. “What are you talking about?” He gripped Phillip’s shoulder.
“He fired me, sir.” Phillip stared up at Smith, who still stood next to him. “I got in a bar fight…well, this guy punched me and kicked me. The police arrested him.”
Smith dragged out a chair and sat. “So? Young men get wild at a bar at times. You drunk?”
“No, sir.”
“You throw the first punch?”
“No, sir.”
“So why did Flynn fire you? You come in late? Miss work?” His gray eyes moved between Phillip and Estaban.
“No, sir.” Phillip swallowed. “The guy who hit me, he came to the shop, started some mess. Flynn asked him to leave and then fired me.”
“Has he lost his ever-lovin’ mind? I don’t have enough good employees to just let a good worker like you go free.” He huffed. “I need to have a talk with Carl, asap!”
Well, that would not be good. Flynn would spill the beans about Phillip, for sure. But what did it matter? Phillip had a new job that he loved, and his employer didn’t care if he was gay or not. Best if Phillip take the high road and let him know the details.
