“Did you get me a Christmas present?”
“What? No.” Damn my truth-telling face.
“You totally did! What did you get me?”
I sighed. So much for the surprise.
“I’m not going to tell you because you don’t get it until tomorrow. That’s how Christmas works. If you don’t like it, take it up with Santa.”
She rested her hands on my shoulders.
“Okay, fine. But I got you something, so we’ll be even tomorrow.”
“You got me something?” That filled me with more joy than I wanted to admit.
“Yeah, I had to get you something. Actually, I’ve been holding onto it for a while.” Her cheeks went red.
“Really?”
“I’ve been saving it for the right moment. This Christmas kind of feels right.”
It did, in more ways than one.
I didn’t know what to say, so I kissed her and then we removed each other’s clothes and fucked slowly, softly. We’d have to go back after the movie, but there was a lot we could do in two hours.
She rode my face and then I rode her hand and we finished off with one vibrator between the two of us.
“I don’t want to jinx it, but we’re like, really good at sex,” she said, as we recovered.
“Yeah, we are. That probably means we should keep doing it. You know, we owe it to sex.”
She nodded and propped herself on her elbows.
“You’re absolutely right. It would be a crime for us not to fuck as much as we could.”
“I’m so glad we’re on the same page about this.”
We got dressed again and Laura helped me tame my hair into some sort of order before we walked together back to the inn. The movie was just wrapping up and it was time for the pajamas.
“Oh god, I’d forgotten about this,” I said, when Laina handed me a package with a wink.
“You’re an honorary Sterling, so here you go.”
I looked down at the present and then at Laura.
“If you can’t beat them, join them,” she said.
Everyone got together and opened their presents, finding long pants and tops with red and green plaid and penguins on them. Too cute.
“Okay, everyone, go put on your pajamas, and then it’s time for the fashion show,” Laina said, clapping her hands together.
Laura dragged me to the public bathroom on the first floor and we changed together.
“You look so fucking cute right now, I can barely deal,” she said, making me do a twirl.
“So do you. Who knew plaid was your color?”
She kissed me before we rejoined the rest of the family. A sea of plaid greeted us, along with an actual piece of red carpet, and some music that was supposed to sound like it was from a fashion show.
They’d even dressed Minnie up in a child-sized shirt and a bow on top of her head.
“Everyone line up,” Liana said, still elegant even in the silly pajamas.
We all lined up and, one-by-one, headed down the catwalk. A few people danced or had moves, but some did the classic model walk, complete with sexy mad face.
Within a few minutes I was laughing so hard I could barely stand up, and when it was my turn, I decided to do a little dance to the music, complete with booty shaking and twirls.
When it was Laura’s turn, she did a perfect model walk, and her hair even blew like she had a wind machine on her. She did several poses at the end and then purposely turned to me in the audience, and blew me a kiss.
Out of reflex, I caught it and pretended to put it in my pocket.
My second-favorite walk was Lillian, who strutted her stuff with Minnie at her side to cheers from everyone.
We were all given scorecards and I ranked Lillian the highest, and Laura the second. Laina collected the cards and tallied the results.
“For the fifth year in a row, the winner is Lillian!” Lillian pretended to be shocked and fake-sobbed as she took her trophy.
“I couldn’t have done this without all of you,” she said, pointing to everyone. “Thank you.”
There was another round of cheers and then the kids were hustled off to bed where they probably wouldn’t sleep. Laura and I hung around with everyone for a little while, and I was shocked not to have any questions about Laura. Nope, everything was about Christmas and traditions and favorite movies and arguing about Christmas carols.
Weird.
Laura and I headed back to the house and read in bed for a long time.
“This is the way to do Christmas, in my opinion,” I said.
“Just wait until breakfast tomorrow. You thought dinner was bad, but breakfast is on a whole other level.”
I couldn’t wait.
“I can’t believe I’m spending Christmas with you. I wanted to spend it alone.”
“Did you really, though?” she asked.
“I mean, I thought I did. But now I don’t know if I would have regretted it? I like being alone, but I think I also like being with people. I like being with your family.”
That was a lie. I loved being with her family.
“You know I come up and visit once a month. You could come with me sometime. They’d all love to see you.”
That was an idea I really was going to consider.
“And you can talk to me too. About your dad and everything.”
I needed someone to talk to. I’d been getting by on my own for so long and it was too much. You needed people to confide in, to listen to you.
If nothing else, this experience had opened my eyes that I needed to reach out to people more and start trusting again. My heart was permanently broken, but that didn’t mean I had to shut everyone out to try and protect myself. That just meant I was still hurting, but I was going it alone.
“No matter what happens with us, I want you to know that I'm always here for you, okay? I’m here to talk to, to help you move, to keep you company, any of it or all of it.”
She hugged me and I felt my heart beating hard and fast.
“Same,” I said. “Same to you. If you need another person in your life, I’m happy to be there.”
“I definitely need a Colden in my life.”
I woke up earlier than I normally would have, and the first thing I did was glance out the window.
Snow. The temperature had been so warm the other day that everything on the ground had melted, so I hadn’t thought it was going to happen. An actual, real, white Christmas. As if it had been planned that way.
Laura was still asleep and I took that opportunity to get her present. I hadn’t had a chance to wrap it, but I hoped she wouldn’t mind. I put the box on the edge of the bed and waited for her to wake up. It didn’t take long.
“Merry Christmas, Laura,” I said, kissing her.
“Merry Christmas, Colden.”
“Do you want your present now? It’s not wrapped, sorry.”
“Can you hold on a few seconds so I can get yours?”
I agreed and she made me close my eyes and promise not to peek.
She came back with a little package that had a bow on it.
“See, now I look like an asshole because I didn’t wrap yours.” I sighed.
“Will letting you open yours first make up for it?”
I took the present from her.
“I guess that’s okay.” I tore open the wrapping and found a long necklace with two silver discs on it. One was engraved SHE and the other was engraved THEY.
“Do you hate it?” she asked, when I didn’t respond for a few seconds.
“No, I don’t hate it,” I said, trying to swallow my tears. It was so simple, but so pretty and so me. It was perfect.
I met her eyes and let myself cry.
“It’s perfect, I love it.”
Laura helped me put the necklace on and I looked down at it. I never wanted to take it off.
“Okay, yours isn’t quite as good. But I hope you like it.” Now I wish I’d spent more time on her gift. I was going to make up for it when we
got back to Boston. I’d get her the perfect gift and give it to her as a late Christmas present.
“I’m sure I’ll love it,” she said.
She had to get up and grab a pair of scissors to get through the tape on the box.
“Oh, it’s beautiful,” she said, bringing out the wooden tray that would fit on the edge of her bathtub and had a platform to put her books on so she could read and soak at the same time. It also had places to put drinks and snacks.
“Are you sure? You’re not just pretending you like it?” I wouldn’t really know the difference.
“No, I actually do love it. It’s perfect. I’ve wanted something like this for ages, but never would have bought it for myself. Thank you, Colden.”
She kissed me and we got a little distracted with hands slipping under plaid pajamas and then she reminded me that we needed to get over for Christmas breakfast.
Everyone was still wearing their pajamas, and the parents looked a lot more tired than the kids did. There were mountains of presents under each tree, all marked with nametags. I was pretty sure I saw mine on at least one when I walked by.
Laura stopped me from walking into the dining room and pointed upward.
Right. Mistletoe. I guess it was probably really bad luck not to kiss under it on Christmas.
“Oh, what the hell.” I grabbed her and she dipped me before laying a good one on me. Everyone in the dining room cheered and I forgot my own name as my head swam and Laura stuck her tongue in my mouth.
At last she let me up and I said in her ear, “I don’t think tongue is part of the tradition.”
“I was improvising,” she said back.
We tried to go to our table, but everything was pushed together, so we all had to eat together.
“You two seem pretty cozy,” Lillian said, giving me a look.
“We are,” Laura said. “Cozy.”
Lillian winked at both of us and put her finger to her lips as if she was keeping a secret.
Laura hadn’t been exaggerating about the intensity of the Christmas breakfast. There was bread and eggs and potatoes and pancakes shaped like snowmen, fruit, croissants, Danishes, bacon, ham, and three kinds of quiche.
“I won’t need to eat for a week after this,” I said, loading up my plate.
I sat next to Laura as the dining room filled up with even more Sterlings who weren’t staying at the inn, but had come for breakfast and presents. There were so many people that it was hard to have a conversation over all the noise of other people having conversations.
I stuffed my face and laughed with Laura and realized that I didn’t want to leave. What harm was staying a few extra days? I didn’t have to be back until the next Monday, so that was three extra days I could spend with the Sterlings. And with Laura.
I made the decision while I was eating and told Laura about it while everyone got together to open presents. The kids had a free-for-all and tore into their toys and the adults waited for the carnage to be over to pass out their presents. Someone also started the game of “looking for the Christmas pickle” ornament in the tree, which they were all having a great time looking for.
Lillian handed me a card and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“Merry Christmas, Colden.” I hugged her back and patted Minnie on the head.
The card was cute and inside was a printed page from my favorite online book retailer.
“Oh my god, thank you!” I hugged her again.
“I love the internet. You can buy anything on there. I don’t even have to leave my house.”
Lillian and I talked about the wonders of the internet and she told me about her Twitter account (which I immediately followed) and then Laina gave me another card and a present.
“Wow, thank you. You didn’t have to do this on top of everything else.”
I opened the present first. It was a Sterling Inn robe and slippers.
“Thank you so much. I love these robes.” I immediately put it on and then opened the card.
“Now, that is a gift card to stay at The Sterling Inn for as long as you want, whenever you want, for the rest of your life.” I turned the gift card over and it said “FREE STAYS FOREVER” and had Laina’s signature.
I wanted to protest, yet again, that this was too much, but Laura pressed on my toes with her foot and gave me a look.
“Thank you. This means more than you can know.” I hugged her and Antonio and probably every single other person in the Sterling family.
Laura ended up getting books and skincare products and concert tickets from her parents.
“There’s two,” she said, holding them up. They were for a band that I loved.
“Are you sure? Don’t you have a friend you’d want to take?”
“The only person I want to take is you.”
I accepted the ticket and a kiss.
“So much for discretion,” I said.
“They already knew. All of them. They knew before we did. Or at least before you did.”
I gave her a look.
“Did you know this was going to happen when I got here?”
“I mean, no, but I hoped. I really hoped. This has been the best Christmas ever.”
It really had. I’d set out to have it alone, and here I was, part of a whole family.
Someone put on music and an epic cleanup started until a dance party broke out. Laura grabbed Lillian’s hands and twirled her around the room. As I watched her, something happened to me.
Something big and scary and strange an unexpected.
I loved her. I did. There was no other word for this all-consuming feeling in my head and my heart and in every cell of my body.
I loved Laura Sterling. I loved her hard and I loved her deep and it had come upon me without a warning or indication.
I could try to deny it, but that would be foolish. She was going to read it all over my face. As if she’d heard me thinking about her, she danced over and grabbed my hand to swing me around. We laughed and danced and she swayed me back and forth.
I did a little shimmy move and she giggled.
“I love you,” she said, and then realized what words had come out of her mouth. “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“No, it’s okay.” I put my hand on her mouth and prepared to make the best or worst mistake of my life. “I love you, Laura. I just realized it about five minutes ago, but I think it’s been happening over this entire year. I fought it so hard, and I couldn’t deny it anymore. Blame your freaking family for weakening my normally strong barriers against you. I guess it took seeing you here with them that just . . . I don’t know. I love you.”
She squealed and hugged me, spinning both of us around and around.
“I love you, Colden. I’ve loved you so long and you’re so stubborn and I was convinced I was going to love your from afar for the rest of my life. But now I don’t have to!” She swung me around and I screamed until she put me down.
“Merry Fucking Christmas, Colden,” she said.
“Be careful. We probably shouldn’t curse in front of the children.” I glanced over at them, but they were all too engrossed in their toys to see what Laura and I were doing. “Never mind, they’re not listening. Merry Fucking Christmas, Laura.”
She kissed me without any mistletoe in front of her whole family and it was perfect. I’d gotten exactly what I’d wanted, if I’d known what to ask for.
Epilogue
“How are we going to do this?” I asked, as Laura and I stood outside the entrance to our office building holding hands. I’d stayed over at her place the night before and this was our first day back at work. I was already missing The Sterling Inn and everyone in it. Lillian had texted me twice already.
“We’re going to be professional. We looked up the policy and since we’re on the same level, there’s no issue, but we should report it to HR. So that’s what we’ll do. And then . . . I’m not sure. The one thing I do know is that I love you.” She gave me
a quick kiss.
Laura and I had spent the entire drive back to Maine on the phone with each other, talking about how to make this thing work. I was fine with her calling me her girlfriend. I actually felt a little thrill of the idea of her claiming me that way, and me claiming her in return. I didn’t know if I would always been okay with that term, but I’d cross that bridge when I got there.
“Oh, but I’m still going to throw you under the bus for a promotion. My career comes first,” she said, and I pretended to shove her.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“That’s what you think.” She pushed through the glass doors and I followed her to the elevator.
Our meeting with HR was quick and then we headed to our office. We’d agreed ahead of time that we should reserve any sort of couple things like kissing or cutesy nicknames for times outside of a professional environment. Plus, we didn’t need to make our coworkers uncomfortable. I couldn’t be that office asshole.
The rest of it, we’d have to figure out as we went along. It wasn’t going to be easy, but we were doing it. The lease was up on my apartment in a few months, and I was already flirting with the idea of moving in with her. She definitely had the room and it was way too soon, but it was a possibility. I hadn’t said anything to Laura yet, so I didn’t scare her.
I was completely and utterly in love with her. More so than I ever knew was possible. Every day it grew and grew and I found new things about her that I adored. I also found new things about her that annoyed me, but that was all part of the package of being in love.
In love. I never thought it would happen to me, but here she was. I hadn’t expected her, hadn’t asked for her, but she was in my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our journey to get to each other was unconventional and not everyone understood it, but that didn’t matter. As long as she loved me, and I loved her, I didn’t care about what someone else thought.
“You’re staring at me,” she said, as I pretended to work on emails.
“I can’t help it. You look really pretty today.”
She tossed her hair over her shoulder.
“I look really pretty every day,” she said.
I threw a paperclip at her.
“Hey, hostile work environment!”
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