by René, Dani
My mind disagreed with my decision, my body too. I took a deep breath and picked up my phone. We walked to the door, but as he reached past me to unlock it, I felt the heat of his arm near me. I turned to say goodbye, and suddenly I wasn’t standing anymore. I was pinned against the door with Bash’s hands holding me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist. “Emily, I am going to kiss you now, just one kiss. That will be it, and never again.” I nodded. There was no way I was going to refuse him, not right now. His mouth crashed onto mine in a bruising kiss. His tongue teased my lips apart, and I gave him access. My fingers knotted in his spikey hair, tugging it. A growl vibrated in his chest against me, and my nipples hardened in the soft material. His erection pushed against my tight running shorts, rubbing against my entrance. When he finally pulled away, he let me down. We both stood breathless, his eyes like melted caramel, desire evident in them. “I need to go.”
* * *
I walked around the park for an hour. Then ran another two circuits around the park. Nothing could douse the fire Bash had lit just two hours earlier. By the time I stood in the elevator taking me up to Triston’s apartment, my legs felt like jelly. I looked at the time and realized I had been gone for almost four hours. Bash left me breathless, and I left him hard. Nothing more happened. I decided to bite the bullet. I was going to tell Triston what happened. If he broke up with me, it would be because of my own stupidity and my stupid reaction to his brother. I didn’t deserve Triston or his love, so I was ready to come clean. I steeled myself as the elevator doors opened. I walked into the quiet apartment and made my way to the kitchen. Turning on the kettle, I noticed two mugs in the sink. I picked up the white one and saw the bright red lipstick stain. Strange since I didn’t wear lipstick, and I definitely didn’t have any on this morning when I had my coffee.
I walked into the bedroom and grabbed my overnight bag. I didn’t feel like staying here, and I didn’t want to know whose lipstick was on that mug. I threw some clothes in the bag and a change of underwear. I walked into the bathroom to grab my toothbrush when I noticed a pink bikini laying on the floor inside the shower. I didn’t own a pink bikini, and I felt nauseated. The room started spinning. Who was here? Did Triston bring someone back here? This didn’t make any sense. Yes, we fought, but why bring someone here?
He knew I was coming home. Couldn’t he tidy up after his fun? I felt the fury raging in my veins. I knew I fucked up, but at least I didn’t throw it in his face! Grabbing my toiletries from the bathroom, I made my way into the office and grabbed my laptop. Putting my bags on the sofa, I went into the bedroom, grabbed Bash’s T-shirt, and pulled it on over my sports bra. I walked back into the living room, grabbing my bags, just as my phone beeped — a message from Triston. I unlocked my screen and opened it.
Triston: Call me when you’re on your way home. T xo
I hit reply.
Em: No need. I found everything already. You should have cleaned up after yourself.
I walked out of the apartment and stepped into the elevator. My phone started ringing. “What Triston?”
“It’s not what you think, Emily. Let me explain?”
“Don’t bother. I hope she was worth it. Don’t follow me!”
I hung up, something he hated, but I didn't care. My blood was boiling, and my body was shaking with anger. After all the shit we had been through, I guess it was too much for him. Of course, too good to be true.
I walked through the park for the hundredth time that day. When I got to the apartment building that I had left only a few hours earlier, the doorman smiled. I made my way to the elevators, wondering if this was a good idea. On the sixth floor, I knocked on the apartment door. When it swung open, I saw those molten hazel eyes, fell into his strong arms, and burst into tears. “Emily!” He pulled me inside the apartment and shut the door. “Come in, sit down.” We walked into the living room and sat on the sofa. He held me as I cried, stroking my hair.
When my tears finally dried, I sat back. Bash’s tear-stained T-shirt looked terrible, and I giggled. “You think it’s funny?” He looked down and smiled. I nodded. “What happened, Emily?”
“I . . .” Shaking my head, I tried to get the image out of my mind. The thought of Triston with her was ripping into me. It felt like an open wound. “He . . . Uhm . . .” Bash’s face was so concerned. “I got home . . .” Shutting my eyes, I hope the pain would stop. “There was a girl there.
“Well, not there, but, her . . . A bikini in the shower.” I finally got the words out.
“What the fuck?” I looked up, and his eyes were filled with anger. “Are you sure he was . . . you know?” I shrugged. What else could it mean? Some woman was in the apartment; there was a bikini in the shower. “It doesn’t make sense, darling. He wouldn’t cheat on you.” I knew Bash was trying to calm me down, but the little he could say now would make a difference.
I looked into his eyes. “Just hold me?” He nodded and pulled me into his embrace.
Chapter Seventeen
I rolled over and felt a soft cushion next to me. The smell of fresh sheets and Bash disoriented me for a moment. I opened my eyes and saw the blinds on the window, and the realization hit me. I was in Bash’s bed! I pulled the covers up. I still had my clothes on. We didn’t have sex. Of course not! My memory was slowly returning — I cried on his shoulder till about two a.m. We drank beer and listened to music. He played my favorite band, and he played “Witness”. I cried some more, and he wiped away my tears.
Bash was a gentleman, allowing me his bed, and he took the sofa. “Good morning, sleepy.” Bash walked in carrying a tray with coffee, fresh orange juice, and two painkillers. “Drink those. I made pancakes. We can eat in the kitchen.” He sat down on the bed and watched me. I scooted up and grabbed the orange juice and painkillers.
“Thank you for everything. I’m not sure I would be able to survive this alone.” Washing down the painkillers with the orange juice, I grabbed the coffee, inhaling the amazing, rich aroma.
“Em, your phone has been going crazy. Don’t you want to talk to him? Maybe give him a chance to explain whatever it is?” I shook my head. I was adamant not to talk to him; I couldn’t. “Okay, well he called me this morning. He knows you’re here,” he said in a soft voice.
“What?”
“Don’t worry. He won’t come here. He just wanted to make sure you’re safe.” He smiled.
“I don’t care what he wants! He’s fucking some girl in the apartment he wanted me to move into, Bash!” I climbed out of bed, careful not to spill my coffee. I walked around toward the door. “I want pancakes.” I stormed off into the kitchen. I heard him chuckle behind me, and it made me smile. The smell of fresh pancakes assaulted my senses as I walked into the kitchen.
I sat down on the stool at the counter as Bash followed me. “Right, little lady! Breakfast is served!” He put a large plate of chocolate chip pancakes on the counter with some whipped cream and chocolate sauce to go with it.
“This is definitely not going to help my diet!” I smiled up at him.
“You have a wounded heart. It needs something sweet.” He refilled my coffee.
“I have something sweet.” The words were out of my mouth before I thought about it. My gaze fell on him. “I mean, you know . . .” I mumbled and blushed.
“No, Em, I don’t know. Why don't you . . . enlighten me?” I saw the naughty smirk cross his rugged features.
“Look, Bash, I don’t know what’s going on between us. I care about you, and the only reason I came here was that I didn’t want to be alone. I just don’t know anyone else in the city besides Triston and Jessie.” I ate the piece of pancake on my fork. “Oh my god, this is amazing!” He laughed, staring at me for a few minutes, and his smile disappeared. He put on his serious expression, and my heart leaped into my throat.
“Look Em, I’m not going to lie. I’m glad you’re here. And if all we can be is friends, I can handle that. Don’t feel bad for needing someone to talk to. I will alw
ays be here for you, and if you don’t want more than friendship, I’m not going to push.” I nodded. We ate in comfortable silence until the phone rang. Bash walked over to the wall and grabbed it on the fourth ring.
“Hello?” He listened to whoever it was, and I had a feeling I knew. He turned to face me. “She’s okay. I told you earlier.” He listened again. “Hold on . . .
“He wants to talk to you.” I thought about it for a moment. Getting up, I walked over, taking the phone from Bash.
“Triston?”
“Angel, please let me explain? Please come home?” I heard the plea in his voice.
“What happened? Why was there a bikini on the floor in the shower?” He hesitated, and I had my answer. “Seriously Triston?”
“Babe, she came on to me. She kissed me. I was angry with you. Can we please talk face to face?”
“No, I don’t want to see your face right now! Why don't you ask her to move in with you?” I was radiating anger.
“Angel, I love you, only you!”
“I don’t know if I love you right now!” There was silence on the other end of the line, and I thought he hung up when I heard him release a breath.
“You want to do this on the phone? Fine! It was a spur of the moment thing. I made a mistake. I was angry with you! After you left the apartment, I had you followed. I knew you were with my brother.” He was quiet for a few seconds before continuing. “I saw Krista; she was being released from the hospital. I invited her back to our place thinking you would be back. When I saw you were not, I felt a rage I had never felt before. I thought you were at his place fucking him!”
“So you decided to get back at me? You decided to fuck her in your apartment?” I was screaming. I felt Bash’s hand on my shoulder and his warmth calming me down. Tears streamed down my face, and I felt my heart tighten in my chest.
“Our apartment!” he retorted. “You were with my brother, Emily!”
“I didn’t fuck him, for god’s sake!” I slammed the phone against the wall. Bash pulled me into his arms, holding me against his chest.
“Em, I’m sorry,” he whispered. I knew he was unsure what to do. Turning me around, he wiped the tears from my face. My eyes burned, and I blinked hard. I grabbed his face and pulled him to me, kissing him hard. His tongue invaded my mouth, and I welcomed it. I wanted to dull the pain my heart was feeling. Bash pulled away slowly. “Let’s not do this, Em. Not like this.”
“I want to, please? Just make the pain go away?” I pleaded with him. My eyes were melting into those beautiful hazel ones as he lifted me in his strong arms and carried me to his bedroom. Laying me down, he leaned over me, his weight resting on his elbows. “Emily, I don’t want to do this because you’re angry with my brother. I want to do this because we are together.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. Pulling himself back up, he stood and watched me.
“Bash,” I whispered. Sitting up, I pulled the T-shirt over my head. I laid back down wearing only a pair of running shorts. His eyes blazed. “God, Emily, you are a fucking temptress!” I scooted up in the bed and watched him pull his T-shirt off. He was wearing his ripped painter jeans. He slowly undid the button, and they dropped to his feet. He was wearing tight black, CK briefs. He reminded me of an underwear model, toned, tanned, and filling out the briefs with a large package. I giggled at the thought in my head. Drinking in the sight of that V-line pointing into the black briefs, my mind wasn’t my own anymore.
“You know, when I’m standing in front of a girl in my underwear and she giggles, I feel very self-conscious,” he said faking the hurt on his face.
“Shh. You know that’s not why I was giggling!”
He leaned down, hovering over me again. “You’re so beautiful.” I raised my hips, rubbing myself against his growing hardness.
“And you’re . . . handsome!” He leaned down and kissed me again, this time they were soft and tender. My tears began to flow again, but as I closed my eyes, I saw an icy-blue stare. My heart hurt so much it felt like I couldn’t breathe. Just as his lips found my neck, there was a knock at the door.
“Fuck it!” He stood up pulling on his jeans and a T-shirt. I grabbed my T-shirt and pulled it over my head. He waited till I was decent then turned to the door. I knew who it was, and when I heard his voice, my body went cold. I wiped the tears from my face and listened.
“Where is she, brother?”
“In my bed.” Bash’s voice was cold, harsh, and then I heard something crash. Shit! I ran into the living room and saw Triston had punched Bash. “Jesus, Triston! What the fuck is wrong with you?” I ran to Bash. His nose was pouring blood down his T-shirt.
“It’s okay, Em.” Bash stared at his brother. Ignoring Triston, I walked into the kitchen and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer. Bash smiled and sat down, holding the ice pack to his nose.
“We’re going! Now!” Triston looked at me, his gaze sending a shiver down my spine. He was infuriated, but I didn’t care. He chose this, not me.
“No! I told you to leave me alone!” My voice was raised. How dare he come here and punch Bash for looking after me.
“And I told you, we are going! Nobody walks away from me. So get your stuff, and let’s go!” Bash stood up, his hand on my back. “Why don’t you talk here? I will go to the other room.” His eyes met mine, and I nodded slowly. He winked and left Triston and me in the living room.
“Triston, look, I really can’t do this.” I looked at him, and the anger in him seemed to evaporate. He was so calm it was almost unnerving.
“Emily, I love you, do you understand that? I love you!” His eyes were filled with love. I saw it there every time he looked at me. I decided to come clean. I needed him to realize what I had done.
“I kissed him, Triston. I kissed Bash. A few times. Before you knocked on that door, I was ready to sleep with him. Is that what you want to hear?” I watched the look on his face, waiting for the anger to kick in, but it didn’t. He just stood there quietly. He was deflated, and I knew he was as hurt as I was.
“If that’s what you want, then I can’t stop you from living your life. I want you to understand something. Krista and I was a mistake. As soon as it was done, I regretted it. I don’t even know why I did it! Well, I do. I did it because I was angry with you. You never slept with him while we were together, did you?”
I shook my head, and he looked at me, his eyes locked with mine. “I regret doing it, but it’s done. I can’t undo it. If I could, I would.” He grabbed my face and kissed each cheek. “I never want to make you cry again. I love you, only you, forever. Do you understand me?”
I nodded. There were things I wish I could undo as well. “We need time, Triston. I need time. Can you give that to me?”
He nodded solemnly. I could tell he was wholly resigned to me walking away. I didn’t want to lose him; I just needed time to think. “Sure, if that’s what you need. We can take a few days, completely separate. Four days of single life doing what you need to. Be with him, spend time with him if you think it will help. You decide who you want, and if it’s me, I will never, ever hurt you like this again. I swear on my life. When you are ready, you know where to find me.” His body was visibly shaking, and I knew the pain that racked through me did the same to him. He kissed my forehead and left. I stood staring at the door for a while. I needed to go back to my apartment later. I needed time to think.
* * *
When Bash walked back into the living room, I turned to face him. “Is it safe to come out?” I nodded, giving him a small smile. He walked through with the melted ice pack. The bleeding had stopped, but his T-shirt was ruined.
“He gave me four days, Bash.”
“What do you mean?” Bash sat down, watching me closely. I wasn’t sure if he was scared I was about to fall apart or if I was about to smash everything within sight.
“He gave me four days. I need to decide who I want. You or him.” I looked over at him, and I saw his smile.
“Well, that’s ea
sy!”
“Bash—” I admonished him.
“I know. I know . . . I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to make you smile.” I did.
“I can’t believe he punched you!” I looked at his face, and he shrugged.
“I did deserve it. I told him you were in my bed. I would have punched him if it was the other way around.”
“So, I guess I’m kind of single right now. Weird feeling. What do I do now?” I sat down next to him on the sofa. He put his hand on my knee circling his fingers slowly. “I have a few suggestions.” He winked. I rolled my eyes and stared at him. “Emily, you do realize rolling your eyes is rude?” I nodded. “Do you know what happens to rude girls?” I smirked and nodded again. He pulled me to my feet.
“Wait!” I stopped halfway to the bedroom. “I know what we can do!” He frowned. “I can sit for you!” He gave me a megawatt smile.
“Yes! Do you want to stay the night? We can get take-out and just relax with a large canvas and some oils.” He looked so excited, but I wanted to go home tonight. I needed time on my own. Time to think things through, and I couldn’t do that with Bash.
“I wanted to go home, spend some time on my own. I need to think this through, Bash. I don’t want to hurt you and give you hope of something, and then leave. You know?”
He pulled me into him, his body flushed with mine, and I felt his response so clear between us. “I told you earlier, Em, I understand. Even if I were given twenty-four hours with you, I would be happy. Now, can you stop being so sad and smile? We don't have to spend the night together. I will take you home and pick you up tomorrow. I know this isn’t an easy decision, so take your time.” I looked into his warm gaze and smiled. “That’s the smile I want! Now, are you going to finish your pancakes?”