Then I saw her turn to watch me making out with the blond I’d woken up with just a bit ago. I couldn’t see her face to gage her reaction since she was at the corner of the camera’s range and hidden partially by shadows, but one of the brother’s came up to her at that point. He wasn’t fully in view and I could only see the back of his kutte as he watched whatever she was looking at. The whatever being me with my tongue in another woman’s mouth. The prospect behind the bar blocked my view when Anna left with a man’s hand around her arm. My temper flared hot just thinking about another man dragging my woman out of the clubhouse last night, but then again, after what she witnessed I guess I had that little sight coming to me.
Chapter 4
Before I could move back into the shadows this time, he had caught me watching him. My heartrate ticked up a few beats per minute as the excitement kicked in. I wondered what he would do. Would he come talk to me? Would he turn and give all of his attention to the woman who had come in with another brother? She seemed to be just as infatuated with him as I was. They all laughed at something he said, though their voices didn’t carry to me where I sat on the sofa in the corner by myself. He glanced back again and then snatched up the empty beer bottles that were scattered on the pool table.
He deposited the bottles into a large trash can on his way across the room. He was headed straight for me, but that couldn’t be right. His light brown hair was still cropped close to his head on the sides and back, though he’d allowed the top to start growing out. It almost seemed like he needed baby steps to move on from the Army approved haircuts he had worn before. His face had likewise remained stubble free for the longest time. Though the past few times I’d seen him, there seemed to be a hint of a shadow across his well-defined jaw. His hazel eyes, that appeared mostly green up close and flecked with golden brown, were twinkling in amusement as he caught me staring once more. His movements hadn’t been hindered at all by my watchfulness. If anything, he carried himself more securely the closer he came to where I sat.
I’d been watching him for months now, waiting to make my move until after I turned 18 just like Toby had told me to do. The thought of my brother tore at my insides, and I nearly chickened out and ran from the room. Toby wasn’t here anymore though. He didn’t get to make his dreams come true. What if I listened to him and the beautiful man I was obsessed with decided to start dating someone else? What if one of us died tomorrow? Nothing was promised to anyone. I don’t think Toby had been alive long enough to learn that lesson. His dying is the only reason I did.
“I’ve seen you here before,” the prospect said to me as he drew closer. “You belong to someone?”
“I belong to no one,” I told him.
He glanced around, eyes sweeping the room, stopping on every single woman in the place. Each one had been escorted there by one of the men of the club. “Women aren’t allowed in the building without an escort any longer. You have to at least belong to someone for the day,” he insisted.
I smiled at him. “I’m related to one of the brothers, distantly,” I tacked on at the end. I knew he’d walk away and not even think twice about it if he knew I was a club princess and the vice president’s daughter at that.
He grinned at that, nodding his head as if in approval. “What’s your name, beautiful?”
I felt the blush rise up my chest and into my cheeks as he uttered that nickname for me. “A-A, it’s Lise.” I had been about to tell him it was Anna, but I worried he would know exactly who I was. Not many of the newer people were aware that my full first name was actually Annalise.
“Lise, I’m Evan,” he told me as he moved to sit down right next to me. Our thighs and knees touched and there was no hiding the fact that proximity sent tingles through my body. He watched with a smirk on his face as gooseflesh appeared up and down my arms. “What are you doing sitting over here all by your lonesome?” He tapped on the notebook in my hand, my journal.
“I was writing.”
“What kind of things do you write?”
I blushed again. “I don’t know all sorts of things. Sometimes poetry, short stories, or just thoughts about my day.”
“Is it a hobby or something you want to do with your life?”
“Honestly?” I asked him. He nodded his head, watching me as if he really wanted to hear the answer. He was the first person in my life who had ever asked me that question. “I want to be a novelist one day. I want to write the most epic story of all time.”
“That’s a hefty goal, and a highly debatable one unless you narrow it down a little. The Bible is arguably the greatest story ever told to some people. Harry Potter is for others. Then there’s Gone with the Wind, Tom Sawyer, The Lord of the Rings, and…”
My laughter could not be contained. “Okay, I get it! I need to pick a genre and shoot for the top of the little niche I find myself in first.”
“Now, she’s thinking. Take over the entire literary world after you get a taste for the fame, fortune, and best sellers lists.”
I sat dreamily staring off into space. “Yeah,” I whispered.
“I believe you can do it. You have that fire in your eyes,” he told me before he stood up. “I better get back to work before they fire me.”
I giggled. “They’re not going to fire you,” I insisted.
“No, they’ll just make me wear the prospect patch longer.”
“Do you like the club so far?”
“Yeah, I do.” He stood and started to move away from me, but not before glancing back one more time. “I like it a lot more now.”
The man from my memories kept moving back to the pool table where our remembered first conversation slipped into my newest nightmare. Evan turned and winked at me before grabbing the blond by the pool table and kissing her like I dreamed of being kissed.
I woke in a cold sweat, my heart beating rapid-fire shots against my chest. It was like experiencing the elation of our new relationship all over again, only to have last night’s betrayal shoved at me to rip another piece of my heart from by chest.
By the time I got settled in last night at Merc’s house in their guestroom, it was just after two in the morning and I was both exhausted and heartbroken all over again. I had just been shown my room when my cell phone beeped with an incoming text. I glanced long enough to see who it was from and shook my head in the negative when Merc silently asked the question. Was it Joker? No, he probably still didn’t even realize he’d brought me there with him, let alone the fact that he’d left me in his truck and forgotten about me.
He left me alone after that, and I stupidly opened the text from a girl I used to attend school with, Melody. When I opened her text I wasn’t expecting to see a picture, let alone that it would have been taken at the clubhouse last night. I hadn’t even noticed that she had been one of the women in attendance there. Then again, I was preoccupied most of the night, and at least I knew she wasn’t one of the many women hanging all over my husband.
It was now just after breakfast time as I sat staring at the damn photo again, and what it meant for my future. Actually, the damn thing brought to mind that saying about not being able to look away from a train wreck. It’s that moment when you see the damning evidence in full color that your dreams will never come true, yet you can’t manage to look away even though it’s making you physically sick. That was how I felt in the morning light as I stared at the photo. I wished I never saw it. I had seen enough the night before. Having to then see that it absolutely did go further than just kissing felt like a hot knife was trying to slice me open from the inside out.
The picture Melody sent was of the blond woman I’d seen making out with Joker last night right before I left with Merc. She was on her knees in front of him – my husband – on our wedding night. He had his fingers tangled in her hair and his head thrown back in ecstasy. The angle was just tilted to the side enough that I could see it hadn’t been faked. The woman on her knees in front of him had his dick in her mouth as her eyes were rol
led up toward his face, seeking his approval or something.
Another big, fat tear slid down my cheek. “Isn’t this your new husband?” the text that had accompanied the picture had said. I was sure Melody and all her friends were having a big laugh at my expense. None of them knew I was pregnant yet. They didn’t know why I was getting married, only that I was, and I had opted to finish school online as a result. For just a second I felt a glimmer of what Ever must have gone through back in high school, and I was thankful I wouldn’t have to stick it out as long as she had. I wasn’t sure I could handle going back considering I was pregnant and I didn’t need the worst moments of my life thrown in my face on a daily basis for everyone else’s amusement. I imagined that wouldn’t do my little one any good to have me so stressed out.
Two knocks sounded on my door before it promptly opened and Tiger Lily moved into the space I was occupying. My mom’s best friend glanced at my phone, my tears, and then she walked over and took the darn thing from me. I didn’t even bother to hide what I was looking at. What was the point? Most of the younger crowd from the club was there last night. Even though I never saw her son J-Bird I was sure he would hear all about it. So would Deck, and in turn the rest of my family. As if I needed to be further humiliated.
I watched as Tiger Lily glanced down at the image displayed there. Her lips thinned noticeably as she pulled them tight causing the little lines around her mouth to deepen. Her eyes narrowed briefly, in what could only be anger. Then she released a harsh breath before taking a seat next to me on the edge of the guest bed.
She handed my phone back to me as her eyes met mine. Unlike the prospect who had been waiting on me last night, there wasn’t a drop of pity in her gaze. Then she spoke softly, but with a purpose. “Can I tell you a story?” Since she hadn’t reacted the way I expected I simply tipped my head up and down acknowledging that she could, in fact, tell me a story.
“If it’s happier than the one I’m currently living, sure.”
She gave me a half-hearted smile before she continued on. “It didn’t start out that way, but it changed, eventually.” She stared off into the empty space across the room clearly not seeing the chair that sat there or all the decorative pillows I’d removed from the bed during the night when I’d attempted to sleep and they bothered me. Truth be told, breathing bothered me considering how my night had gone, but I had to admit I took it all out on those poor, undeserving pillows.
“I was young when I got pregnant with Deck. I was 16 and he was 18. We weren’t seriously dating or anything even though I wished we were. I’d had a crush on that boy since I was 12-years-old. He lived across the street and I planned our wedding while he did his own thing, oblivious to me.” I knew they had been young parents, but I hadn’t realized they’d been that young.
“I knew right away what I meant to him after our first time together. It had been at a party, and we hadn’t gone there together. Just one of those things where we ended up there. Anyway, he all but forgot me and our night together afterward. When I’d see him in passing it was like he looked right through me.”
“I bet that hurt,” I told her as she paused and glanced back at me. She nodded her head and I could see the pain of those memories still haunted her. The sadness was so evident in her eyes. In that moment, I ached for Tiger Lily.
“It hurt like you wouldn’t believe,” she said as she glanced back down at my phone I’d tossed on the bed between us. Unfortunately, it had landed screen up and the image of Joker and the woman who had been with him last night were still there. Suddenly, I was hating the fact that the screen hadn’t timed out yet. “Actually,” she spoke again, pulling my eyes from the horrible image. “I guess you would know exactly what that’s like.”
I made a noise of agreement in the back of my throat as I marveled at the fact that bonding over our tainted loves had me feeling truly like an adult for the first time in my life. “What happened?” Obviously, I knew she ended up with Merc and that they were still together today so it couldn’t be so bad. Could it? Tiger Lily was one of the strongest women I knew. I figured she was about to tell me how to fight for your true love and never take the kind of shit she’d just seen on my cell phone.
“The day I finally worked up the courage to tell him I had gotten pregnant, I interrupted a make out session with a girl from school who I hated. I didn’t realize the two of them had been dating before. They’d been so quiet about it the first time around. Apparently, she was trying to make sure her parents didn’t find out she was dating the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. That’s why they had broken up just before he was with me at that party.” Oh man, my heart hurt for the younger version of Tiger Lily. I couldn’t imagine walking in on the boy I was in love with and an enemy of mine from school while I had news about being pregnant. No way could I have gone through with telling him. I stopped her story, because I laughed at that thought.
“Sorry, I was just thinking I couldn’t have dealt with a situation like that and managed to tell him anyway, but I guess I had to go through something similar too.”
Lily patted my leg in comradery before she carried on with her tale. “The girl who he was with had always been a bitch to me. It hurt double that he was with her, of all people. He knew, or at least I was pretty sure he did, how mean she was. I almost walked away without telling him, but that bitch opened her mouth and said the worst thing. ‘Oh, look honey, virgin Lily was probably hoping you’d pop her cherry for her since she’s so in love with you.’ The cow actually laughed at her own joke after she said that to me. I lost my temper and my damn mind for the first time ever in that moment. I told her, ‘He already did and now I’m pregnant with his baby, honey!’ Then I walked out to find my dad and Merc’s dad standing there in the hallway. They definitely heard what I said. I was mortified all over again.”
“You and Merc ended up married because of your dads?” I guessed at her situation, seeming somewhat similar to my own.
“You betcha!”
“But it all worked out. You had Jason and you’re still together after all these years.” I smiled as I told her what she’d already lived through.
“Ah, sweet girl, it ain’t all sunshine and roses. Merc and me went down some dark paths to get here. He cheated – a lot – at first. I told myself I didn’t care because I had Declan to care for and we were taken care of financially, but I went through a world of hurt. When I found out I was pregnant with Jason I made a plan to leave Merc. I had caught him cheating again and the stress… Well, I cramped bad and I thought I was going to lose the baby as a result.”
“Why did you stay?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “That was around the time your dad lost your mom for a while. I don’t know if seeing Double-D go through that was what did it, but Merc changed. He stayed home more. He didn’t come home smelling like perfume or with lipstick on him. And he started spending time with me even when Deck wasn’t around.” Lily smiled at some long-lost memory before she was ready to continue.
“The day Jason was born was the first day I felt like I had a real husband.”
“I’m not saying things will be the same for you, but considering that picture, I am telling you that you need to decide what you can live with. What you can forgive. Forgetting will never be an option, especially since that picture was taken on your wedding night. Moving forward is tough. If you want this you work for it and lay down your own ground rules for what you will and will not tolerate. You may have messed up by lying in the beginning, but that doesn’t give him the right to treat you like a punching bag for it. He agreed to marry you because you’re having his baby. Not so that he can keep beating you down.”
“He’d never hit me,” I argued, misunderstanding her meaning of punching bag.
“Seeing what you saw last night, and the picture you got in that message, wasn’t a giant punch to the gut for you?”
I glanced away, unable to look her in the eyes then. The misery swamped me at the glaring acc
uracy of what she’d just described. “Yes,” I finally answered meekly. “It was exactly like that.”
“Sweet girl, there are many forms of abuse in this world, and I’m not saying that’s Joker’s norm. I am saying, if you stay, you need to put your foot down about things like that. The stuff you can’t or won’t tolerate needs to be discussed so that he doesn’t turn a mistake into a bad habit that will slowly eat away at your soul, and probably his own too, whether he realizes it or not.”
Tiger Lily gave me a lot to think about it, and a different perspective as she was doing it. For a brief instant I wondered if my life could turn out like hers where I end up with the man I’d wanted after all. The problem was, every time I closed my eyes all I could see was his fingers wrapped around a blond head of hair. I twirled a finger around the now limp, messy chocolate brown lock that managed to slip free of my unkempt ponytail. I knew then that I couldn’t stomach going through years of knowing he was cheating on me the way Tiger Lily had with Merc. I wouldn’t survive something like that. I also didn’t think I could bring myself to ask her how she had managed to get through it all. Maybe another day.
Chapter 5
The video hadn’t been much of a help thanks to the fact that it angled to a point where Anna had been mostly in the shadows at the end of the bar and whoever had come up to speak to her had been lost in them. I had attempted to track down some friends of Anna, but no one knew who she was hanging out with, or how to contact anyone who may have helped her. Not that it really mattered since it was obviously a club brother she had walked out of here with. Everyone I had spoken to today had denied it was them though. No matter how much of an asshole I’d made of myself the night before, I didn’t think any of my brothers would openly lie to me, especially since my wife was missing now.
The Princess and the Prospect Page 4
