When he’d felt the scars on her upper arms, he’d stopped kissing her and put the internal light on, demanding to know why she’d hurt herself like that. And she’d tried to explain – it hadn’t made much sense really, but he’d understood. He’d been even more gentle after that, making her feel special and forget all the shit with Janelle, forget all the reasons why she felt like hurting herself.
Tears pricked her eyes – it had all been a lie though. If he’d cared for her at all, he wouldn’t have been shagging Janelle. No matter what he’d done though, she had every intention of attending the service. Whatever he’d done, she missed him, and she’d had feelings for him. He hadn’t deserved what had happened.
A soft knock on the door made her look up, and her mum stuck her head inside.
‘Made you some breakfast, hon. You want it up here or are you coming down?’
‘I’ll come down. Mum… will you erm, will you please come to the service with me? I don’t really want to go on my own.’
‘Aren’t Susie and Chloe going? Not that it matters, you need me there and I’ll be there.’
‘If you don’t mind. I’m meeting them there. Think the whole class is going. Why does it have to hurt so much, Mum?’
Her mum crossed the room in an instant, pulling Heather in close and squeezing her hard. She didn’t speak, but she didn’t need to. She let Heather cry on her shoulders for a minute, then pulled back.
‘Right, head up, shoulders back. You need some food in your tummy, then you’ll be ready to face the day. And I’ll not leave your side through any of it.’
The door closed behind her mum with a click, and Heather felt something she hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Hope.
2nd October, 1000 hours - St Andrew’s Church, Haughton, Darlington
Janelle sat near the front of the church, next to Kelly-Ann and Ryan. She’d been slowly simmering since the incident with her mum that morning. And now she’d just seen Heather and the coven walk into the church with some woman who looked too much like Heather not to be a relative.
Who does she think she’s fooling, sitting there like she knows Glen, looking upset. She didn’t know Glen, she doesn’t have a Scooby-Doo who Glen really was. How dare she turn up like this.
Janelle’s anger had stopped her crying – it made her want to rage at the world but at least she wasn’t crying. Crying was for weak girls, that’s what her mum had always said, back in the days when she could string a whole sentence together.
Glaring at Heather and her friends again, she turned and faced forward just as the vicar started talking.
The service lasted the full hour – the female vicar went over memories provided by family, and there were readings from people that weren’t even close friends with Glen. Janelle thought one was a cousin, but she couldn’t be sure. She was certain, however, that none of them had really known him. There’s been no mention of his cheeky grin, no mention of the tattoo he had on his thigh, no mention of how he loved to laugh. Even when he hadn’t been taking drugs, he’d always had a witty sense of humour that could have her in stitches for hours. She’d lost track of the number of times they’d just laid next to each other and laughed.
Somehow, she’d always just thought they’d end up as a couple – it hadn’t worked out though. They’d done the whole friends with benefits thing, but Glen had never progressed it to the next level, always saying he didn’t want to ruin their friendship over the entanglements that came with a relationship.
Janelle acknowledged that at some point in recent weeks, he’d backed off a little. Not acting cool exactly, but she’d sensed him pulling back from her. She didn’t know why, hadn’t even really thought about it until just now. Seeing Heather had forced her to remember the lost puppy dog look when she’d come over asking where Glen was. She’d taken it as Heather hankering after someone she’d never have, but maybe she was wrong. Glen had been off – even when she’d slammed the door on Heather’s hand, he hadn’t laughed. When they’d been alone later, he’d actually called her a cow and said it was uncalled for.
Shaking her head, she realised she didn’t want to focus on the what ifs or buts. Glen wouldn’t have done that – there was no way on earth he’d have touched that little witch, not without it being some kind of game anyway.
But the niggle of doubt had made its nest in her mind now.
Frowning, she stood to leave the church, completely ignoring Kelly-Ann and Ryan, much to their consternation. She suddenly knew she needed to talk to Heather.
And an opportunity presented itself as Heather broke away from the group and made her way into the bathroom at the front of the church.
Slipping in through the door before it closed, she waited silently until Heather came out of the cubicle. She felt a frisson of control flood through her as Heather stepped back, her scared eyes darting towards the door to the bathroom.
‘No one’s coming to rescue you. Take a chill pill. I just wanna talk.’
Janelle leaned against the wall beside the door, staring at Heather.
‘What about?’
Janelle stopped herself smiling – the girl’s fear was palpable.
‘Glen. Something’s been bugging me. He’d mentioned that he’d been spending time with a girl, that it might go somewhere. But he never told me who it was. Were you shagging my Glen?’
The question threw Heather, obviously not what she’d expected, and she plainly didn’t know how to respond. Janelle took three steps towards her, her face hardening. She could see the answer already but needed to hear it from the horse’s mouth.
‘Were you shagging Glen?’ she said again, this time through gritted teeth.
‘We’d been seeing each other for a few weeks,’ replied Heather quietly, ‘I’m sure he would have told you, but –’
Janelle raised her hand and before Heather could finish the sentence, her open palm connected with Heather’s face with a loud slap. Heather gasped, and stepped back instinctively. But Janelle wasn’t ready to let it go. She grabbed Heather’s hair and pulled her forwards, raising her knee at the same time and connecting with the side of Heather’s cheek.
She was so intent on releasing the pent-up rage that she didn’t hear the door open behind her or see Heather’s mother come into the bathroom. And acting like any protective mother, Joanna Blaze grabbed Janelle by the hair and yanked her back hard.
‘Get your hands off my daughter!’
As soon as she’d pulled Janelle back far enough to release Heather, she let go. And in a blind rage, Janelle advanced towards Joanna with hate in her eyes.
‘Like mother like daughter, you fucking slag,’ Janelle was so angry that hot tears fell from her eyes as she advanced towards Joanna.
‘Stop it – you stop right now. I get it. It’s OK to be upset, it’s OK to miss your friend,’ said Joanna, her tone firm but understanding at the same time. Janelle felt confused, her anger abating at Joanna’s words. She stiffened as Joanna pulled her into her arms, it had been so long since anyone had hugged her like that. Janelle sagged against Joanna’s shoulder, and all the pent-up rage suddenly turned into heart wrenching sobs.
2nd October, 1120 hours – St Andrew’s Church, Haughton, Darlington
Heather watched in amazement as her mum held Janelle as she cried. She’d been sure she was about to die, or at the very least get beaten up, and her mum had just waltzed in and defused the situation with a cuddle. Was that all it took? Her fingers gingerly felt over the area of her cheek that felt hot and sore. She could understand Janelle’s reaction – whatever Glen had been playing at, she’d always known he and Janelle were close. And he’d told Janelle about her, in a fashion anyway. He’d said he thought it was going somewhere. Maybe all the stuff with Janelle had happened before they’d started seeing each other; maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. It was probably something she’d never know for sure, but she took comfort in the fact he’d at least told Janelle.
2nd October, 1005 hour
s – Darlington Memorial Hospital
Ed winced as the nurse pulled the needle from her arm, and applied pressure over the small piece of cotton wool. Deftly she applied a strip of tape across it and told Ed to bend her arm to apply pressure.
After an X-ray that confirmed no broken bones, and a CT scan had confirmed muscle damage, she’d been given a strong shot of painkillers and a referral back to the osteopath who’d dealt with her injury originally. She was told in no uncertain terms that she was to try and carry on life as normal, that they no longer recommended rest for back pain. The A&E doctor had prescribed her a sack of painkillers to help her achieve that normality.
Feeling herself float off in a haze, she glanced round at Kev, who hadn’t left her side since she’d been brought to the hospital. He was a good man. Not many men would have sat at the hospital with her whilst the doctors poked and prodded.
Phoning the ambulance had been fruitless - they were that understaffed it would have meant waiting in the street for at least a couple of hours. In the end, Kevin had cancelled, and said it’d be quicker to take her himself. Adam, her neighbour, had helped Kevin get her into the car after seeing their distress as he left for a morning jog. She’d have to remember to get him a bottle of wine or something. Why am I buying him wine again? She knew her thoughts were jumbled. All she wanted to do now was sleep. Closing her eyes, just for a minute, she allowed herself to drift off.
2nd October, 1110 hours – Kelly-Ann’s residence
‘I can’t believe Janelle just blanked us like that. Honestly sometimes I wonder why we bother with her at all,’ grumbled Kelly-Ann to Ryan in the car as he dropped her at home. ‘Do you really have to go to work? Can’t you just play hooky and stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.’
Kelly-Ann snuggled her head into his shoulder and looked up at him, batting her eyelids in an attempt to get her way. ‘We’d have the house to ourselves. Everyone else is at lectures.’
‘I said no, some of us have to work to pay the car payments you know. Besides, you said you were meeting up with what’s-her-name today didn’t you? Just go there and have a nice time.’ Ryan’s frustration was evident.
Sulkily, Kelly-Ann pulled back, making sure there were tears sparkling in her bright blue eyes. ‘We just lost our friend, I’m sure that work would understand that you’d been to his funeral today. Neither of us should be alone today.’
‘Kelly-Ann, for god’s sake. Will you just…’ He didn’t finish the sentence, running his hand through his hair, ‘Look, I don’t get off till ten tonight – want me to swing by and we’ll go get some dinner from somewhere, you can stay over at mine. We can watch a movie and snuggle all you like.’
‘No thanks, I’ve got plans.’ Aware she sounded like a petty teenager, she stropped out of the car, slammed the door and strode towards the house.
‘Do not look back, do not look back,’ she muttered under her breath in time with her steps. Pushing her key in the lock, she closed the door, then leaned backwards onto it.
Now her tears were real – sometimes she acted like a bitch just for the sake of it. Ryan would probably dump her now, then she really would be alone. And it would serve her right wouldn’t it – she was the stupid cow who’d just whinged at him about being responsible and going to work. She’d be doing the same thing next week when she started working for her dad’s solicitors part-time.
She sighed. She owed Ryan an apology.
2nd October, 1800 hours – Heather’s residence
‘Can I get you anything else, hon?’ Joanna fussed around her, plumping the pillows she was leaning on and sweeping away the still warm mug from the table.
Ed shook her head - she’d been propped on her mums couch for most of the afternoon, and her mum had been fussing round her like a mother hen. Ed didn’t mind though, not really. It beat being at home on her own. The pain-killers had worn off a couple of hours ago, and she didn’t really want to take the stronger tramadol until bedtime. Heather had sat with her on the couch, and they’d watched some action movie together – it was that crap she couldn’t even remember the title.
Kevin had left her with her family earlier, reminding her he’d agreed to take his aunt and her friend Carole to the airport. Ed was surprised to realise just how much she’d enjoyed being out. She hadn’t socialised since the accident, not really, odd meals here and there with friends and the one night out where she’d ended up so drunk she’d shagged Kevin. Blushing, she realised how bad that sounded. The fact they’d spent last night together too just provided her red cheeks with the fuel to burn even hotter.
‘Who is he?’ asked Heather, giving her a soft nudge with her arm.
‘Who’s who?’
‘The guy you’re thinking about, the one that’s got you all hot under the collar?’
‘I wasn’t… I mean, there isn’t a… oh bugger. Is it that obvious?’
‘Yeah,’ grinned Heather. ‘It’s that bloke who dropped you off isn’t it? The one who held your arm all the way to the door? I thought you would have invited him in to meet us.’
‘Now you’re taking the piss, bugger off. Kevin’s a… friend.’
‘Aye, a friend with benefits. He looked back you know.’
‘Eh?’
‘When he left, he looked back. That means he likes you.’
‘Don’t be daft,’ said Ed, shaking her head. ‘He barely even knows me.’
‘Knows you well enough to like you.’
‘Who likes who?’ asked Joanna, coming back into the room with a tray of biscuits, and yet more tea.
‘Ed’s new fella likes her,’ said Heather, shifting her cast and reaching out to grab the Jammie Dodgers before anyone else could.
‘Oh bog off, I don’t have a fella. Kev’s just a… mate.’
How she expected Heather to believe her when she didn’t even believe it herself was beyond her.
It’s happening again, you’re gunna fall head over heels and realise too late that he’s a twat like Cam.
Ed frowned, switched the TV channel over to the news, and ignored the snarky comments beside her till they quietened down. Was Kevin like Cam? The truth was, she didn’t know. She’d thought Cam was nice, until he wasn’t.
12
She stood outside the address, watching as Kelly-Ann cried in the living room. Silly cow – who sits in plain view of the window and sobs like a child? She wondered what had got Kelly-Ann so upset. Was it problems with the precious Ryan?
Then she smiled – if he hadn’t changed his password, using his Facebook account would be the perfect way to lure Kelly-Ann out of the house and to the location she had in mind. She’d been sat near Ryan one day in the library, close enough to see him tap in his password, the word so obvious she could’ve guessed it even if he hadn’t been sat close. Loading the app on her phone, she logged out and logged back in as Ryan. Corsa14 was the dumbest password on the planet for someone who drove a ’14 reg Corsa. She sometimes wondered how anyone could think their online world was secure.
She wasn’t even that technically-minded, but she knew to make her passwords complicated. She had to, or her dad would find out she was on social media. And he would blow his top. Her app was hidden on the last page of a folder full of games. Luckily for her, he wasn’t technically-minded either; he thought he was, but he didn’t have a clue.
Smirking, she went to change Ryan’s relationship status to ‘it’s complicated’ then changed her mind, opened messenger and sent Kelly-Ann a message.
‘Babe, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Can we talk? X’
She could see from the previous drivel that he always called her babe, and signed each message with a kiss. Blurgh - she was almost a little bit sick in her mouth. Sentimental bullshit that meant naff all. She saw Kelly-Ann’s profile picture drop underneath the message and she knew she’d seen it.
‘RyRy, I’m so sry I yelled @ u in the car, dint mean it. Am just upset. I can meet u now? xxx’ She focused on the return message, frowning at the
words that didn’t make sense. It took a few seconds to comprehend what Kelly-Ann had replied. Who uses text speak anymore? Pathetic. And RyRy? What’s that all about. Might as well call him Prince Boobligoo and get the slaver over with.
She thought for a minute and then typed, ‘OK babe, still at work though, wanna meet at Broken Scar? Bottom car park? About midnight. X’
‘K. C u then. Luv u Ry. xxx’
She smiled as her plan fell into place. She changed his status to ‘Meeting my babe later for snuggles,’ and closed the app down. He’d be unlikely to check his phone while he was at work anyway.
Heading home, she checked the lights were off upstairs. As far as her dad was concerned, she was fast asleep in the attic. And she needed his car keys. She hopped over the fence at the side, and silently opened the kitchen door, sneaking inside. She held her breath as the bottom of the door scraped on the tiled floor, it was barely audible, but she was never quite sure how deep her parents slept. Leaving the door ajar, she crept through to the hallway and took his keys from the dish on the shelf near the door.
As quietly as she’d entered, she left, and started the car.
Driving to the garage, she acknowledged she was ready. This time, Janelle would know that the people dying around her was all to do with her – she couldn’t think anything but with two of her friends no longer being there.
She wondered how she would react. Would Janelle fall into Ryan’s waiting arms, the last of the group. Or would she pull away, retreat into herself. Refuse to let anyone close in case they got hurt too.
She felt a shiver of excitement – time would tell.
2nd October, 2340 hours – Broken Scar car park, Darlington
Watch You Burn Page 12
