Julian just chuckled.
“Is that how he kisses you?” Kayley looked up at me, wide-eyed, her hand still at her lips, as if she were trying to hold in the sensation, to protect its secrets.
“Sometimes,” I admitted.
“Wow.” She handed Julian back the bottle of water and tottered toward me, with her hands stretched out, her fingers opening and closing. It was like watching a giant toddler learning to walk. As soon as I was in reach she locked her hands around my wrists and pulled me away from Julian and Kimber. “We just need a second,” she held her finger up to them. “So,” she became extra quiet even though I was totally sure we were out of ear shot. And she was talking so quietly I could hear Julian and Kimber’s conversation better than Kayley’s tiny whispers.
“What did you do to her?” Kimber asked.
“Would you like to find out?” Julian replied.
“Uh, no,” Kimber voice wavered, like maybe she did. “Pervert,” she said, firmly.
“So,” Kayley bent low and pulled my head close to hers. “If he kisses you like that, how do you not like… fall in love with him and stuff?”
It just wasn’t like that for me and Julian. It never has been. I love Julian with my whole heart, we have awesome chemistry, we’re partners, but falling in love with Julian would be like falling in love with, like, myself, or like a clone of myself, or something? It’s hard to explain how close Julian and I are, and maybe him being gay had something to do with it, I’d never really given it much thought, I’ve just always known it was never going to be that way for us. I puffed my cheeks out trying to find an answer for her. “Well,” I let out the breath I’d been holding while I considered. “He also helps me do hip flexor stretches, so it’s kind of a love hate thing.”
Kayley nodded as if that were all the explanation she needed. Gotta love drunk logic. She pulled me into a hug and then we ambled back over to Julian and Kimber, who was giving Julian some serious side-eye and mouthed me a “What the fuuu?”
But then her expression changed and I could tell she wanted to find out first hand what the thing in Julian’s kisses was all about. She had that look that was kind of nervous, kind of excited but also totally asking if I thought it was a good idea. If she was leaving the decision to me, the answer was definitely no. The way her brain spins it probably would have sent her so far into the OMG’s her head might explode, and I was way too tired to deal with that right now or for the next forever, which is the likely amount of time she would spend dwelling on it.
It felt late, but the party inside was still going strong. It looked like more people were beginning to dance now and a few couples had made their way outside to sit near the pool, or catch some air on the patio. I wonder if dancing at parties is more of a middle party thing or is it a towards the end kind of thing. Parties are kind of a rarity for me, and dancing at them even more so. I wondered what time it was but I was watchless and phoneless and didn’t feel like asking. My brain was tired enough to just want to go home but there was some pretty serious awkwardness hanging in the air and no matter how much I wanted to ignore it I didn’t think I should, so instead of addressing Kimber’s angsty ‘Is this how orgies start?’ face I said, “Well, okay, now that Kayley’s feeling better, should we get back to this BS intervention you guys cooked up?”
“Oh my gosh,” Kayley slapped her hand over her forehead. “Did I ruin it?”
“Personally, I think you saved it.” I slipped my arm around hers. “Also, Kayley, I think you might have a drinking problem.”
Kayley rolled her eyes at me. “We can do my intervention later. This is supposed to be about you, Kat. We’re all worried about you, and that’s not going to go away and neither are we, until we’re absolutely sure that you’re okay.”
“I’m not worried,” Julian chimed.
Kayley and Kimber scowled at him.
“As long as I have you guys,” I was mostly looking at Julian, who had already saved my ass multiple times that day. “I’m always going to be okay.”
“Aww,” Kayley pulled me into a hug. “And we are so here for you, but this is a lot of change, Kit-Kat. A lot of change.” She pulled me to arms length, her serious face returning. “In less than a month your mom is going to be Mrs. Some-Other-Name — that isn’t even yours,” she started.
“Howden,” I filled in, just in case she’d forgotten or something.
“And then they’re moving to the other side of the planet.”
“Ireland.”
“Yeah, exactly,” her voice pitched up and octave. “And for who knows how long?”
“At least a year.”
“Without you!” she huffed.
“That was my choice.”
“What?” Kimber and Kayley barked in unison.
“Okay, so, story time?” I shrugged.
“Sounds like way past,” Kimber said with a hand on her hip.
“Okay. Are we walking or sitting for this?” I sighed.
Everyone replied, “Sitting,” though they all had their own tone, some more exhausted, some more irritated.
Julian motioned toward the growing number of people who were moving outside, and waved toward the far tree he and Kayley had raced for earlier. “I thought I saw a nice spot for a chat out that way,” he said.
Chapter 2
I didn’t think we’d go as far as the furthest tree, but we did. I folded myself down into a deep squat, then unfolded myself onto the grass, lying down with my arms stretched out to my sides. I would have stretched out my legs too, but I was in a slinky tight dress, so, I kept my legs together. Kimber lowered herself onto her bum with her knees tucked under to the side and Kayley sat down on the other side of me, cross-legged because her dress had a full skirt that would allow it. Julian, in proper Julian fashion, stood with his feet on either side of mine and fell forward, catching himself with his hands on either side of my torso.
“Hi there,” I smiled up at him. He lifted a brow, his expression asking, his mind always choreographing. “Yeah,” I answered his unspoken question about the maneuver. “With a kick-off, or a double turn-away or something.”
“Cool,” Julian pushed off with his arm, and kicked his leg back and over. I bent my arm and put my hand under my head so he could lay down next to me. He lowered himself onto his side, rolled onto his back and set his hand under his head, so our positions were mirroring each other. It was kind of amazing how graceful he is all the time.
“Are you guys ever not dancing?” Kimber huffed.
“All the worlds a stage,” Julian said, wistfully.
“Okay, okay.” Kayley waved her hands to get their attention. “Spill it, Kit-Kat.” She scooted up to my side. “The whole Kit-Kat and kaboodle with a K,” she demanded, forming her fingers into the ASL sign for K. It seriously just looked like drunk hands though if you weren’t familiar with the sign.
I took a breath and began my tale of woe. “In the beginning, there was darkness,” I began, trying to sound as dramatic and intriguing as I could, “And then… Bang! The Universe.”
“Skip ahead,” Kayley said, her bored tone too familiar with the joke.
“Okay,” I relented, cleared my throat and continued my dramatic retelling. “Many moons ago, about a week before I got my driver’s license, I received a lunch and shopping invite from one Mr. Erik Howden, while we were out driving around, so I could get in all my night driving hours.” I paused for a breath, because that had been a very long sentence. “I was, as you may have already surmised, willing to take him up on this kind offer, as I am rather fond of lunch, and also of shopping.”
“Me too,” Julian chimed, softly.
“And I like Erik too,” I added.
“Yeah, Erik’s great,” Kimber agreed. “I’m so happy for your mom.”
Kayley put her hand up to silence her sister. “It’s story time, Kims.”
I went on, “Erik took the day off and so did I, which was needed because our first stop was the DMV. We waited for
ever, I passed with flying colors, everyone clapped, that last part didn’t actually happen, and we went to lunch.” I took a deep breath, which turned into a yawn. “I’m way too tired to reenact it,” I continued, “so you’ll just have to imagine the look of surprise on my face when Erik not only told me he wanted to ask Mom to marry him, but also showed me the gigantic and gorgeous diamond ring he was going to present to her, and asked me if I thought she would like it. Oh my gosh, you guys,” I broke my dramatic storytelling character. “It was so funny. Erik slides this box with the ring in it across the table to me and I’m staring at it all smiley and wide-eyed, because, well you know, you’ve seen it, and also it’s about damn time. And I hear this gasp, so I look up and there’s these two ladies sitting a table over. And one lady’s eyes are so big I thought they were going to pop out of her head and her mouth is so wide open you could have parked a car in there. And I kind of wanted to toss a creamer in there, just because I totally could have. Anyway, she’s all clutching at her chest and her friend is mid bite, eyes almost as wide, with a whole burger crammed in her face. And I don’t know if it was the ring or that they thought some guy in his 40’s was proposing to a teenager, but their reactions were like kind of hilarious, but also kind of horrifying, so like really loud I said, ‘Yeah, she’s gonna love it.’ Double heart-attack at the Applebee’s averted. I am a hero.”
I chuckled at the memory. Julian laughed along with me, even though he’d heard the story before, and Kayley offered a hearty giggle. And then with her hand rubbing her forehead said, “Ow, my head kind of hurts.”
“Ohmigawd,” Kimber said, as if she’d just realized something. “So you’ve known Erik was going to propose for like, two months now?”
“Yeah. He was thinking about asking her on Valentine’s day. I had to be the one to tell him it was basically the worst idea ever, and why.”
“Why is that the worst idea ever?” Kayley sounded offended.
“Because Valentines is the same day Mom and The Kyle were supposed to get married.”
“Ew, yeah, no bueno,” Kayley made a sour face.
“Yeah, so I told him we’d think of something else, and we thought up today, and today was kind of awesome except that I had to be up at the butt-crack of dawn to drive clear across the world to surprise Mom with her and Erik’s favorite coffees after their run, which was the only thing that went right today, and that was just the start of my day, and now I’m just hella dead tired.”
“That’s so sweet though,” Kayley cooed.
“It was,” Julian cut in, “until she spilled coffee all down the front of herself and had to go into a shop and buy a new outfit, except they didn’t sell underthings, so she had to call yours truly and ask him for a favor,” Julian grinned.
“Oh, so you’re the reason Kat’s wearing naughty undies?” Kayley giggled.
“Bold people wear bold underthings, Kays,” Julian defended.
“Why didn’t you just call me?” Kimber sounded offended.
“Because it was like 6am on a Saturday and I knew you’d be sleeping in, like a normal person. Julian, on the other hand, is incapable of sleeping in.”
“It’s true,” he agreed. “And I know all her sizes.”
“Pervert,” Kimber said, affirmatively.
“What about Ireland?” Kayley asked. “When did you find out about that?”
“Same day he showed me the ring, I mean, kind of. He’d been talking about it being a possibility for a few months before that. I think he first mentioned around Thanksgiving that his company was planning on opening an office there, and that he was probably going to be considered for it. Mom thought it was awesome, but didn’t see how we could make it work without someone having to give up things they loved here. I mean, it was kind of obvious she was talking about me. So when Erik told me it was a real possibility, and asked me how I felt about moving to Ireland, I just about freaked. It would be cool, but yeah, I’d be giving up everything I’ve worked so hard for here.” My head naturally turned toward Julian. “And then I remembered partial custody.”
“Huh?” Kayley asked.
“What is that?” Kimber asked.
“Okay, so when I go on tour, in the summers, because I’m a minor, I have to have an adult who is also my legal guardian go with me, or I can’t go. And since Mom can’t just ditch work, we made another person, who can travel with me, a legal guardian.”
“Ohmigosh, who!?” Kayley squeaked.
“Duh, Kays, it’s prolly Linda.”
Linda is my manager, so it made sense, but…
“Nope,” Julian piped. “It’s me.”
“Shut up,” Kayley scoffed, disbelieving.
“Whatever,” Kimber doubted. “There’s no way Aunt Angie would let a total perv become her only daughter’s legal guardian.”
Julian shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you, it happened. It’ll be two years in May. And I’ll have you know, I take my responsibilities as her guardian quite serious.”
“It’s true. Do you see me wearing heels out here?” I clicked my flats together. “Not on Julian’s watch.”
“You can wear heels in the off season,” Julian reasoned.
“When, exactly, is the off season?” I asked.
“Retirement,” Julian answered.
“No way,” Kimber shook her head so hard, her entire body shook back and forth with it. “So, he’s going to be your guardian while Erik and your mom are living a billion miles away? And your mom’s totally okay with that? I mean, does she even know what a total perv he is? I mean, at least you’ll be living with us, but still. Ew.”
Julian was chuckling amusement at Kimber’s spin, more so when she called him a perv. Julian wasn’t really a pervert, but he kind of liked it when people thought he was. And by ‘kind of’ I mean, I think he got off on it.
“Kimsby my Kims from Kimberland,” I bellowed, interrupting her rant. “I regret to inform you that you have once again been left out of the details and technicalities loop. The only way I can attend Parkwood is if I’m living with a legal guardian, who also lives within the school boundaries. And that means, Tate and Josie Emerson.”
“So Julian won’t be your guardian anymore?” Kayley asked, sounding almost sad.
“Oh I will,” Julian chimed. “And soon your parents will be too.”
“Okay, I’m just going to have to ignore how incredibly gross having Julian as a guardian is, because,” Kimber mocked dry heaving. “I might throw-up otherwise. But why switch schools? I would hate to switch schools.”
“Ugh,” I shook my head remembering the epic levels of frustration dealing with school bureaucracy over the last couple of months. “So many reasons. But mostly it’s because this’ll be my last year and—”
“What?” Kayley gasped. “Why?”
“Because I’ll have enough credits to graduate.”
“What?” Kayley gasped again. “How?”
“Because I get credits for work, but I still go to school full time, and I do correspondence courses, so I earn credits faster.”
“Can I do that?” Kayley asked.
“Yeah,” I shrugged.
Kayley yawned then made a grumbling noise and rubbed her fingers over her temples. “I dunno, sounds like a lot of work.”
Kayley’s yawn caused me to yawn too. If she was yawning maybe it was late enough to call it a day so I could finally crawl into bed and sleep for the next 16 hours straight.
“Anyway,” I pushed through my yawn. “Canyon Crest wouldn’t let me skip from sophomore to senior, and Parkwood will, so it was kind of an easy decision.”
“But, what about your friends and stuff?” Kimber shifted, putting her legs straight out in front of her, which put them within Julian’s reach and he moved his arm to rest it on her ankle. She’d known Julian long enough to know how touchy-feely he was, but I think she was still a little miffed about being left out of the kissing-loop, so she scowled at his hand on her ankle but didn’t do anything to
change it being there. “I mean, I assume you have more friends than just Julian.”
“Hm…” I put a finger to my lip as I considered. “Not really,”
“Stop it,” Julian scolded softly.
“It’s a 20 minute drive, not the other side of the country. But for reals, all my best besties are right here, you guys.”
“What? Where?” Kayley looked around in mock surprise. “Oh, you mean us?” She batted her eyes then immediately grimaced. “Ow—ow-ow-ow-ouch,” she whined putting her hand against her forehead. She curled up next to me and settled her head on my shoulder. “I am never drinking again,” she vowed. But we all knew it wasn’t true, she’d said the same before.
“But your mom’s not going to be a 20 minute drive,” Kimber’s tone softened and she scooted closer to Julian, her legs angled alongside him. “I know you’re used to traveling and being away, and you’re not the kind to freak out over stuff very easily, but this is like a really big deal, Kat. And you’re being way too cool about it, like freaky passive. I’m telling you, Kat, if you don’t feel something other than ‘okay’ about all of it, you’re only lying to yourself. And all the emotions you’re not letting yourself feel are just going to explode all at once and bam — total nervous break down.”
I looked to Julian, to see what he thought about Kimber’s seriously overdramatic statement. He was staring straight ahead at the stars. “That sounds very dramatic,” I considered. “Can I have the kind where my makeup runs down my face and I pound my fist in the air and curse the sky?”
Kimber rolled her eyes. “No. You get the crying in your bed, not brushing your hair for so long it turns into dreads and you smell like a dumpster kind.”
“Katarina,” Julian said softly, and my heart sank. He only ever called me Katarina when he was being super serious about something. “I’ve always loved your outlook, but even I’ve begun to worry.”
“Seriously?” I tried to shift toward him but moving jostled Kayley who had fallen asleep, or more likely passed out, and my slight movement caused her to reposition herself further on top of me. “This isn’t just some horrible practical joke you guys have decided to take too far?”
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