And that, in a nutshell, is my life history with Julian.
And… scene!
I know how it looks, but I promise, Julian is not my only friend. He’s just my closest friend or like many friends rolled into one.
My next closest besties, are Kimber and Kayley. And don’t be one of those people who says it doesn’t count because we’re related. Nobody likes that.
And we’ve always been close. Kimber’s a year older, and Kayley’s a year younger — well, actually, Kayley’s only a few months younger, but she’s a grade below. Two grades below now that I’ll be skipping ahead to the same grade as Kimber.
Their mom, Josie, is my mom’s older sister. And in case you couldn’t tell, both sorta have a thing for K names. Well, maybe, I think my mom may have lost her passion for K names after The Kyle crapped all over her life.
Kimber and Kayley, they’re my family, and we’ll always have each other, and I love that. But that doesn’t make them anywhere near the people I want to run crying or complaining to. For one thing, I didn’t want anything to find it’s way back to my mom and spoil her mood. And for another, they can both be soooo dramatic. It’s like ‘oh my gosh’ and ‘oh no’ and like, everything is such a big deal to them.
One time, I tried gasping every time one of them gasped at something — fifteen minutes in, I thought I was going to pass out. I love them both, but their energy is fun and cheery and chaotic and dramatic, and that’s the exact opposite of what I need when I’m feeling overwhelmed and moody and just trying to hold it all together. I needed Julian’s calm, his assuredness that everything was going to be okay, and if anything wasn’t he’d be there for me until it was. Who wouldn’t pick that over breathless gasps and repeated statements of wonder at my ability to endure and survive every single over-dramatized moment of life, omigawd!?
Fortunately, by the time I’d made it over to see Kimber and Kayley, Kimber had given Kayley the low down she’d missed while she was drooling down the front of me and all I really had to do was reenact my expressions, Kayley’s always been way into seeing people’s reactions to things. Of course they weren’t the actual expressions, they were dramatic surprise, and shocked faces for the most part, but it was the drama they were looking for, and I am a performer, so why not indulge them?
There was much butt grabbing over the next half hour as I reenacted step by step, Gropey McGroper’s craptacular massage. “I can tell you work out. I’m really good at loosening up those tight glutes.” Douchebag honks butt cheeks. Me, “Dude, touch my ass again and I end you.” Gropey, “I apologize, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Just trying to lighten the energy and relieve some of that,” in a weird gravely voice, like he’s trying to be sexy, “deep rooted tension.” Me again, “With a 16 year old? Dude, that’s just gross.” Much nervous laughter, “Whuhuhuhuuuut? I thought you were 21. I swear, my info sheet says your 21… heh heh heeeeeeeh…” Massage becomes all about the shoulders and ends roughy 30 second later.
And then Kimber got all pouty and apologized for saying I was being overly optimistic, when I was really just trying to be brave for my mom. Brave was so not the word I would have used, but who am I to judge Kimber’s reality. After that we ordered pizzas put on a sitcom we could binge watch and made plans for the layout of our new room together.
We would all be moving into the huge ‘bonus’ room over the garage. It was kind of perfect really. The back wall had two big windows that overlooked the back yard, and the front wall had another big window tucked into a dormer, that offered a view of the driveway and road.
We each got a window, Kayley liked the angles of the dormer, so she got the front window, Kimber and I liked the idea of never having to duck a ‘ceiling meets wall’ corner, so we got the back windows, I got the one furthest from the door. Kimber’s old bedroom just next door got converted into our closet space, this included a few rolling clothes racks, a long bench and a mirror along one wall, for all our hair and make up stuff, and a settee under the window, because Kimber said it ‘made the room.’
Kayley’s former room became Aunt Josie’s hobby room. It housed her exercise bike, an art easel, a quilting frame, and a sewing machine none of us could ever remember her using. Later she set up a small home office in one corner and a table she mostly used to fold laundry and wrap presents. The room never got used as much as I think Aunt Josie thought it would, but it made her happy to have it.
・❀・❀・❀・
The next few months had a lot going on.
There was paperwork of course, but that was mostly handled by someone else. The hard part was that getting things done before I had to leave on tour. Everything of mine that wasn’t going into storage got moved over to the Emerson’s before the end of the school year. Kimber, Kayley and I got our new room looking swanky and sweet and almost done by the time Julian and I left on tour the second week in June. Julian and I flew home for Mom and Erik’s wedding in July, and then we said our goodbye’s until I would see them again at Christmas, in Ireland. Our tour ended in late August, and school started a week later.
I’ve been told being on tour sounds super rockstar. Meh. It’s riding around in a bus, staying in hotels and the occasional rented house, and performing at various venues in various states. … Okay, so technically I suppose that’s the same thing rock stars do, but we don’t sing, we spin.
I got sick the last week of tour, which meant my regular routine looked mostly like resting and sleeping and not overdoing it, and resting some more. Julian and I would warm up together and based on how I was feeling after, we’d decide how many numbers I’d be performing in. Normally, not including the first introduction and final bows, we had five numbers in the show. Being sick brought my performances down to two, Our first number and our last number. Alaina filled in for me on two other numbers and Julian performed the fifth one solo. It had kind of been inspired by the tango, so when he did it alone it took on this really sad feel that brought tears, instead of the usual sighs and wistful smiles.
Normally, after a show we would meet with the audience, sometimes we’d go out on the town, depending on the town. But me being sick meant that as soon as we took final bows Julian whisked me away for a shower and food and sleep.
I knew I was better when I wasn’t tired anymore. In fact, I was wide awake, alert and itching to move. Unfortunately, I was also stuck on a tour bus, it was late at night, and everyone who wasn’t sleeping, or driving the bus, was tucked into a quiet activity, reading, playing games on their phone, listening to music, whatever.
I was bouncing between social media sites, hoping to find something that would occupy my time, but nothing was holding my attention for more than a minute or two. At one point I caught myself just scrolling, I wasn’t even looking at what I was pushing across the screen. And I realized, I was both bored and restless, and it was a terrible combo.
And then I got a text. From a number I didn’t recognize, the last four digits were 1590, which was the same as the Emerson’s house number. 1590 Clementine Drive.
Of course, it was totally a coincidence, but my brain found it interesting nonetheless.
1590: You up?
I was. And I was restless, and bored and curious, so I replied.
KF: Yes. Who is this? I don’t recognize the number.
1590: It’s Dominic. Sorry, I got a new phone. This is my new number.
I began typing out my reply, something along the lines of: I think you have the wrong number, I don’t know anyone named Dominic. When I got this:
1590: Bix died. I just really need someone to talk to.
Oh no. This was drama, and also a stranger. What do I do? I’m not heartless, clearly this person was hurting, but I also wasn’t the someone they were intending to talk to. I waited a minute, contemplating the send button.
1590: Please? You know there’s no one else I can talk to.
Holy crap that’s tragic, I thought, cringing at how much I’d just reminded myself of Kimber
and Kayley. I quickly cleared the text and wrote a new message.
KF: You can talk to me. I’m sorry about Bix.
1590: Somebody left the gate open and he got hit. Of course they blamed me. But this isn’t on me! I always lock the gate. Always! Fuck, I lock it then double and most times triple check it. Today was the same. But my gramps has always hated Bix. I swear he was just looking for a way to get rid of him. And he found it.
KF: I’m so sorry. That’s awful. Are you sure that’s what happened? Maybe it was just an accident? A terrible, awful, accident.
1590: I wouldn’t be surprised if good old gramps was the one who ran him over.
1590: I’m just so fucking pissed right now!
KF: I’m so sorry, Dominic. And I don’t want to just keep saying I’m sorry, but my heart hurts for you, and I don’t know what else to say. I hate that all this has happened to you, and to Bix, and I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.
1590: There isn’t. I know there isn’t. I guess I just needed to know that there’s still good out there somewhere, somebody who cares maybe? Not that I’m asking you to. It would just be nice to not feel so entirely alone in this shit world.
KF: You’re not alone. There are people who care. And the world is full of good, I promise.
1590: How the fuck are you so optimistic?
Okay, yeah, that stung just a little bit.
KF: I’m not. I’m really not. I totally get that the world is basically a shit show, full of assholes. But that just makes anything good all the more valuable and when you find it you gotta know — you gotta realize — you’ve found a treasure and then you’ve gotta do your best to cherish the fuck out of it.
A few minutes passed without a response.
KF: You still there?
1590: Yeah. I was just thinking about how much you’ve changed. I guess you were right, you are a better person without me.
Ouch. Who says stuff like that to another person? Okay, It was time to come clean.
KF: I have a confession to make. It needs saying, but I truly don’t want to make you upset, you’re dealing with more than enough right now. I just want to be honest with you, you deserve that.
1590: Fuck’s sake. I guess you haven’t changed much. Save it, Lindsay, it was enough that you cheated at all. I don’t need more details.
Wow. This guy really needed to get some better quality people in his life.
KF: My name is Kat. I’m pretty sure we don’t know each other. You needed someone to talk to, and I’m happy I could be here for you. I just can’t let you go on thinking you’re talking to someone you’re not. And this Lindsay person sounds like a serious bitch, so I’m glad you reached out and got the wrong number.
Several minutes passed without a text back.
KF: Dominic? Are you there?
A few more minutes went by. And then a few more. I wasn’t sure if I should keep texting him or just let it go. And then Julian appeared next to my bunk, looking worn and worried. “You’re awake,” he surmised. “Feeling better?”
“Much.”
Julian nodded. “I think I’m getting sick now, and I’m freezing. Can I snug up with you?”
“Yeah.” I hopped off my bunk and pulled the covers back for Julian. He set his forehead against mine, a thing he did if he was worried about passing germs. I’d had a fever when I was sick, but Julian didn’t feel feverish, he just felt cold. I hoped that was a good sign. Julian hoisted himself onto the bunk, effortlessly, and hunkered down next to the window and wall. I climbed up next to him and snuggled my warm back against his cold one. “Will my phone bother you?”
“No,” Julian yawned, pulling the covers over his head. He was asleep seconds later.
I was still hoping to get a text back from Dominic. I checked my messages. Nothing. I wasn’t sure if I should send him another text or just let it drop. He was a total stranger, but he was hurting. As much as it’s my style to walk away from anything dramatic, it didn’t feel right to just let it drop.
KF: I’m going to worry unless I hear back from you. And I’m going to keep texting you until I do. I’ve got the time, and I’m pretty dedicated like that.
About a minute later I got a text back.
1590: Sorry. I had to double check numbers. The only place I had it written down was an old yearbook. You’re 5886 and she’s 5866. I don’t know if I should fault my fingers or my brain. Either way I feel like an idiot. Oh, and Lindsay is a bitch, but for the record, I was also a shitty boyfriend.
1590: Thanks for being the good I needed in the world right now.
KF: Don’t fault either! And you’re not an idiot! Idiots don’t text using proper grammar and punctuation. It was serendipity.
1590: Lol. Maybe. Anyway, thanks for being there.
KF: You’re welcome.
A few minutes passed, and I probably could have just dropped it, but I didn’t. Instead I added him to my contacts and texted him again.
KF: Dominic? You still there?
D?: Yeah. You still worried?
KF: Maybe.
D?: No need. I’ll be okay. You know, eventually.
KF: Tell me about Bix?
D?: He was the best dog ever. Kinda dumb, but you know, he was a dog. He loved to play tug-of-war, and fetch, and chase… His hobbies included sleeping, barking, and following me around whenever he could. And just seeing him and his goofy mug always cheered me up.
KF: He sounds amazing.
D?: I know everybody thinks they have the best dog ever, but Bix really was. But I’m sure you know how it is.
KF: Bix has set the bar pretty high! I’ve never actually had a pet. I’m away too much, so I wouldn’t be able to care for one properly.
D?: Wow. Really? Well, thanks for not being one of those people who say, “It’s just a dog, get over it.”
KF: Those people have something wrong with their hearts.
D?: I agree.
D?: It’s getting pretty late where I am, and I should probably try and get some sleep. Thanks again for talking to me. I’m actually feeling… well, better than I thought I could.
KF: Anytime.
KF: And I mean that. I may not always be able to respond right away, but I’ll always reply as soon as I can.
D?: Thanks, Kat.
D?: Goodnight.
And then a photo of a black and white dog with perky ears, sitting in the back of a red truck, popped up on my screen.
KF: He’s beautiful.
KF: Goodnight, Dominic.
Chapter 4
My new neighbors to the East, the Beck family, have dogs. They’re little, fluffy, bouncy, yappy things. One’s all white, the other is white with brown ears. They’re super cute. They reminded me of Dominic, of Bix, and I wondered how he was doing.
KF: My new neighbors have dogs. And apparently seeing dogs makes me think of you now. I hope you’re doing okay.
I waited a bit for a response, but there was nothing. I tried not to over think it. I’m sure the guy has a life beyond insta-responding to texts. Expecting an instant text back is kind of one of my pet peeves.
I was helping Kayley set the table for dinner, while Aunt Josie made salad, and Uncle Tate made rice to go with the chicken that was in the oven, when he texted back.
D?: Good as I can be I guess. Trying to keep busy. I’ve been thinking about you too. Every time something shitty happens now, I think of you and remember there’s good in the world.
KF: LOL! So shitty things make you think of me? That’s not cool. You get dogs, I get poo!? So unfair…
D?: OMG! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it like that, I swear!
KF: I’m not offended. I’m teasing.
KF: I’m used to cats reminding people of me, you know, because of the name. It’s kind of nice to be thought of as the antithesis of all things craptacular. Even if it is a bit too warm and fuzzy to be accurate.
D?: You don’t think you’re warm and fuzzy?
Kit Kat & Katie Did Page 4
