by C. A. Harms
The most astonishing thing about those visions was the fact that they didn’t scare the fuck out of me. Instead, they had me wishing for more of them, looking forward to the time when I would close my eyes again so they would return.
Chapter Twelve
Maddison
Digging through my closet, I found the shirt I was in search of and pulled it out from the back, turning around to face Raven, who sat on the end of my bed. She jumped up and grabbed the hanger out of my hands.
“Yes, this one.” Her eyes roamed over the sheer red top with excitement. “I love this shirt. It makes my boobs look amazing.”
It would make anyone’s boobs look amazing, but I’d let her have her moment.
“Paired with my tight black pants and my heeled boots, it’ll be perfect.”
“Perfect for?” I still wasn’t sure why she had showed up at my place just before nine at night to beg for the top of mine that I had to steal back from her the last time she borrowed it.
“So, he hasn’t actually agreed to a date, per se, but I plan on seducing Mike in this top.” My stomach felt sour, and I fought the urge to snatch my shirt back and to tell her hell no and to get her own fucking clothes.
“How exactly do you seduce someone who may or may not even be present while doing so?” I stepped past her and walked out of my room, hearing her footsteps following closely behind.
“He said maybe we could hook up this Saturday, so if that pans out, I want to be prepared.” I focused on taking one calming breath after another. “Do you think I should buy new panties too?” Crack. My heart split right down the middle, or so it felt when I thought of her and Mike together. “Then again, maybe I should just forego them, because they’d only get in the way. I imagine him to be aggressive, hurried, demanding movements. I bet he likes control.”
“Not really something I want to think about.” It was making me nauseous.
“Come on, girl.” Raven flopped down in a chair at the island that separated my small kitchen and living room, placing her hands upon the countertop. “Don’t for a minute try to convince me that you haven’t thought of what that man would be like in the bedroom. If I recall, once, during a late-night drink session with my sister, we discussed that very thing.”
Just let it go already.
“First it was Rhett, but quickly we shifted to Mike. At which time, you expressed a great interest in how you believed him to be a ravishing lover.”
“Oh, my God. I did not call him that.”
Raven shrugged with a little laugh. “Close enough.”
“Not even in the same area code,” I corrected her, and again, she ignored me, continuing on with her thoughts of Mike and his bedroom capabilities. I spent the next fifteen minutes forcing a smile when it was called for and rolling my eyes more times than I could count when she wasn’t looking. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take.
“Wanna go out and grab a drink?”
“I have an early surgery tomorrow.” It was my go-to, my saving grace. Something I lived for. I originally thought I wanted to go into pediatrics. As much as I loved kids, I thought that it would be amazing to spend my days caring for them when they needed it most. That was until I was assigned a septic case where the child didn’t make it, and it crushed me. Broke me to the point that I spent three days curled up in bed crying for the sweet little boy who wasn’t even my own.
Not that losing an older patient was any easier because it was still a life, but knowing that little children, those that had not yet even gotten the chance to experience life, had theirs ripped from them so early, was devastating.
After three days, I got out of bed, with the help of my mother, who refused to let me hide away, and I put in for a transfer. Now, I was a surgical nurse, one that most surgeons requested, and I loved it. General surgery was my go-to. I had found my calling.
“At least tell me that you’ll come this weekend.” Before I knew what I was doing, I nodded in agreement. “I need all the help I can get with Mike. He is such a difficult man to break.”
Then it hit me, what I had just agreed to. I would be forced to watch as the two of them got more acquainted, and if Raven had it her way, things may get really hot really fast.
“I may need you to give him a little nudge for me.” I stared back at my friend, a girl I had known for longer than I could remember, and for the first time, I found myself disliking her.
That bothered me.
“Have you ever wanted something so bad, but you feel like it’s just out of your reach?” Yes, I did, but not until recently. “It’s time for him to stop playing and just let it happen. That, or it’s time for me to take what I want.”
Suddenly, the bottle of water I held in my hands no longer sounded appealing.
I opened my fridge and grabbed the chilled bottle of wine tucked safely in the back. Raven smiled when she saw what I had, like it was a celebration or something. She really had no clue that, without this wine, I may have had to tape her mouth shut to keep from killing her. If I had to hear one more thing about Mike and how she wanted to do unthinkable things to him, I may have wound up committing murder…or, at a minimum, assault.
I was struggling here, and she was clueless. But why would she ever consider that her intentions could be harmful to me? Why would anyone?
It was Mike we were talking about. The guy I’d grown up with and the guy I shouldn’t ever be seeing the way I was now.
He was off limits. Or, he should have been, at least.
Chapter Thirteen
Mike
“You look like shit.”
I looked up just as Maddison sat down in the chair opposite mine. I was on my second cup of coffee after a six-hour shift at the hospital and dreading my next three to four. Being low on the totem pole sucked ass, but I didn’t have much longer before I’d complete my residency. The experience the military had given me helped, but I still had a couple of years to go.
It’s the first time we’d seen one another since our exchange at the farm, and I didn’t want there to be any awkwardness between us. I loved Maddison. She was part of my life. Not having her around would be tough.
So we flirted, shared a quick touch that, I’d admit, I could still close my eyes and imagine as if it was happening all over again, but it didn’t have to change who we were when we were together.
“You coming or going?” I asked her as I leaned back in my chair and felt that familiar pain low in my back, the product of an old injury from landing wrong on a jump a few years back, for which I was still paying the price. It was one of the things that had persuaded me not to reenlist.
“I’m scheduled for a surgery in forty minutes.” The way her eyes lit up made me laugh. Maddison was an amazing girl. Always had been. She was so passionate about her work, family, and friends, and there was joy in her eyes whenever she talked about any of them, as if they were the most important things to her. “Dr. Milner and a bowel resection.” She lifted both hands up in front of her and did a little dance in her chair. Her nose crinkled up and her lips pushed out like a duck. Strange but definitely cute.
I wasn’t sure if she was being sarcastic about her excitement or if she truly was happy about the surgery she’d be taking part in.
“Yay?”
She froze in her chair, lowering her arms and leaning against the table, giving me a strange look. “You need a nap.” Laughter escaped her, and she leaned closer, placing one elbow on the table. Her pale-yellow scrubs bunched when she leaned forward even more, which, of course, triggered my attention. Mad had always been petite, just like her mother. Next to me, I looked like a giant. She had long, dark hair, almost black. It was just shy of hitting her waist and shiny, like silk. But the most mesmerizing, captivating feature about Maddison was her eyes; a warm, chocolate brown. The stark contrast against her dark her hair only made those eyes stand out even more.
I knew I shouldn’t look at Mad the way I was and had in the past week, but the harder I trie
d to ignore it, the more difficult it became. Our group was a massive mess of adopted, extended chaos, a “we now claim you” kind of family. I grew up with Maddison and thinking of her as a cousin was just imbedded in me, but lately, I’d been having a hard time keeping her in that “family” category.
“Hello?”
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and realizing that Maddison had been talking. I had missed every word she’d said. “Hm?”
“You aren’t actually working with any breathing patients in your current condition, are you?” With one brow arched, she waited for my response.
“Smartass,” I mumbled, lifting my cup from the table and taking a sip. “What was it you were saying?”
“I asked if you and Raven are actually going to make this weekend’s meetup work out this time?” Maddison nibbled at the inside of her cheek, her lip scrunching up the way she did when she was uncomfortable or nervous. “She’s been bugging me to get you to call her to give her a shot. Says you’ve talked a few times but then it’s faded off from there.”
“Been busy.” It wasn’t a lie.
“I heard all about the challenge the two of you managed to lay down in the middle of a birthing suite, while our family stood around, completely oblivious to the heat being exchanged in the same room between you two.”
“Heat?”
“From what Raven said, there was plenty.”
I waited a few seconds before responding, simply watching Maddison continue to worry her lip.
“Does your friend always have the tendency to over-exaggerate?”
“She’s always been assertive.” A smile tugged at her lips.
“I was thinking more along the lines of aggressive.” Maddison raised her brows and finally stopped torturing her lip.
“What’s wrong, Mike? Do confident women scare you?”
“I’m perfectly capable of handling a strong woman,” I assured her, suddenly feeling a little more awake than I had been five minutes ago. “Or any kind of woman, for that matter.”
I watched the way Maddison’s throat bobbed when she swallowed hard and felt my own pulse quicken just a bit. Maybe it was wrong of me to taunt her and to flirt, but she wasn’t actually acting as if I were out of line, so what was wrong with a little fun? That, and the fact that it was almost unstoppable, like second instinct, whenever she was looking at me the way she was now. Hell, even when she wasn’t looking at me, I found the need to get just a little closer, say just the smallest thing that would trigger a reaction from her.
“It’s the ones who make it too easy that cause me to pump the brakes. There should be a little cat and mouse, a small fraction of resistance maybe, and definitely some heavy flirting.”
“So you enjoy a good flirting game, then?” I had known Mad for years, and I knew her well. Well enough that I could pick up on the fact that she was a little nervous.
“Oh, yes,” I said in a lower tone than I intended, but hell, why not? “Flirting is what builds the interest…triggers desire. There should always be flirting. Always.”
Maddison nodded, her stare still locked on mine and her chest rising and falling in quick, uneven breaths. “From what Raven said, there was a whole lot of flirting, a challenge set into place, some plans being made even of corruption. You corrupting her, or her you. I’m not sure which way it went, but there was definitely talk of some wild times.”
“Your friend has an over-active imagination.”
“Most men like that.” Maddison looked down at the table, and part of me wanted to reach across and make her look at me once more. I fisted my cup tighter to keep from doing just that.
“I’m a man, Mad.” She lifted her gaze once more, her brows scrunched as if she was deep in thought. “But I’m not an animal. I think your friend was hoping for me to be someone I’m not. Like some dark soul with hidden secrets that she can somehow uncover by seduction.”
“If you’re not that guy, Mikey, then who are you?”
I had never in my life felt around Maddison the way I felt in that moment. A strange sense of needing her to see me as me, not as this person Raven hoped I could be. “You already know who I am, Mad, better than most, so why don’t you tell me?”
She took in a deep breath, and just when she let it out slowly, her watch beeped with an alarm that made her entire body jerk in surprise. “I’ve gotta go,” she said in a rush as she pushed back in her chair and caused it to teeter before straightening once again. I didn’t miss the way her hands shook as she grabbed for the back to steady it before sliding it toward the table once more. “Hope the rest of your shift goes by in a hurry. You look exhausted. Maybe you should tell your dad and Reed to go easy on you at the farm.”
She spoke quickly and bit at the side of her cheek once again.
I offered her a nod, the disappointment I was feeling crippling my words. I wanted her to stay and not for the reasons I had before. Maddison had always been the one the rest of us used as our sounding board. She was the girl with all the logic and all the answers. She had a heart of gold, an eye like an eagle, and a tenderness about her that I couldn’t help feeling better just being in her presence after a long, hard day.
No, what I was feeling was different. It was strange but intriguing.
“You should call Raven,” she added before taking another step back. I felt a lump form in my chest at her words. “She may seem wild and persistent, but she’s fun. And she’s the most loyal person I know. I think you’d like her if you gave her a chance.”
With that, Maddison spun on her heel and hurried off toward the elevators that led up to the surgical floor, and I couldn’t manage to take my eyes off her.
When the doors opened and she stepped inside, she looked up, and our eyes met across the cafeteria once more. I offered a nod, and she lifted her hand and gave me a little wave in return, triggering my heart to race in my chest.
What in the hell is happening between us?
We’d been here before, this uncomfortable yet intriguing stage. The one where flirting came so naturally, yet we were questioning it at every turn. It was a yo-yo of events, this nervous feeling of not knowing if what we were doing or even feeling was wrong. There were so many different outcomes to what could happen.
The unknown was the scariest part.
Chapter Fourteen
Maddison
“Does he wear scrubs too?”
“Yes,” I said in response to yet another question from Raven about Mike. With my back to her, I placed the filter in the coffee pot and measured out the coffee. It was my second pot today, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted any, but I needed something to busy my hands and my mind.
“I bet his ass looks amazing in those tight pants.” The way she said those words made me grip the spoon tighter in my hand as I dipped it into the coffee grinds. Thankfully, she couldn’t see my face, but my God, could she be any shallower? She was supposed to be an adult, but she was acting like a lovesick teenager over a guy she hadn’t even touched. “You need to snap a picture for me and send it to my phone. I’d do it myself, but I don’t want to seem like a creeper.”
“So, instead, you want me to come off as some pervert?”
“He’s your cousin.” My heart sank. “You can get away with it.”
I’d always thought Mike was an attractive guy. When we were younger, I may have even had a little crush on him, though I never told anyone. It was always my little secret. He was a little older than all of us kids and protected us with vengeance, especially the girls in the family. He got territorial whenever the need arose. How could a young girl not be awed by that?
Then, he went away, we all grew up, and so many years passed.
The moment he stepped out of Gavin’s truck and began walking up the driveway the day he returned from the army, I’d swear to it, I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach—hard. He was a man, a strong, fit, powerful man, and I felt slightly guilty for the feelings that began to course through me the second he pulled me in
close for a hug. Feelings a girl should never have about a boy who was raised like my cousin.
Only he wasn’t truly my cousin, not by blood, anyway.
“First, Mike is not my blood cousin.” I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, feeling pissed off for various reasons, some I didn’t even understand myself.
“Semantics.” Raven waved her hand before her and smiled wider.
“Second,” I ignored her nonchalant attitude over my statement, “I will not be perving on him and stealing shots of his ass or any other body part so I can send them to you.”
“Okay, then, at least help me ensure that he gets his ass to Lucky’s this weekend and that I get that date I’ve been pushing for. Then, I can get the shots myself.” Again, irritation hit me hard. “Who knows? Maybe I can get a few other types of images as well.”
“Is that all you ever think about?” I angrily turned around and grabbed a clean coffee cup from the cabinet, again, only to have something to do with my hands since my previously used cup was sitting near the sink.
“Don’t you even pretend you haven’t wondered what he looks like without all those clothes covering him up.” I closed my eyes tightly. “Anyone can tell he’s hiding something really good underneath.”
I counted in my head, doing my best to tame the unfamiliar feelings running through me.
“I bet he’s—”
“Okay, enough.” Unable to stop myself any longer, I turned around to face Raven. “He’s a good guy, Raven, a really good guy. He’s not just there to satisfy your itch. He’s kind and sweet. He may be broody at times, but that’s just Mike. He deserves a little more than being treated like a piece of meat.” The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I saw the way she wrinkled her brow, and I knew I’d only managed to throw up some red flags I didn’t want to.
“He’s family.” I tried to backtrack, feeling the words sour in my mouth as I said them. “It’s just hard for me to think of him as a sex symbol. He deserves more.”
