by C. A. Harms
I looked back over my shoulder and found I was alone. Curiosity got the best of me, and no, I wasn’t proud of the fact that I felt the need to snoop, but after the morning I had, I was erratic and impulsive and uncontrollable.
Lifting his phone, I swiped my finger over the screen and typed in his code, 1234, the worst possible security code ever. His phone came alive, and I saw he had three unread messages.
One was from Mike asking him if he was still planning to go with him to get Maddison’s Christmas gift tomorrow. Another from his mom, wanting to know if I would be joining them this year for Christmas morning gift exchange. And the other, it was a number not registered to his phone.
Another deep breath. I tapped on the thread, and immediately I felt the bile rise in my throat. Bare breasts filled his screen, one hand laying over one, the nipple peeking between the fingers. If it had not been for the gaudy ring on one of the fingers I wouldn’t have known who it belonged to. With shaking hands, I scrolled up and found that there were others, not many, but enough. In only one of the three images was Holly wearing clothing, if you’d call the sheer nightie she wore clothing. It did nothing to hide what was beneath.
What I wanted to do was storm off and find him, demanding to know what was going on, but I felt defeated. Suddenly the weight of the last few months, the mess of my life, and all that I had lost hit me. I placed the phone in the locker, shut the door behind me, and turned around. One foot in front of the other, I found my way back toward the front of the station and ignored the curious stares of those as I passed.
In a haze, I walked toward my truck. I was done. I’d been conquered; there was nothing left in me.
Chapter Forty
Landon
Exiting the shower, I wrapped the towel around my waist and searched for my clothes. The place I had thought I’d left them was now empty, and I wondered had I laid them somewhere else.
The steam from the shower still fogged the mirrors and hung in the air as I continued to look around.
Exiting the bathroom, I almost slammed into someone and reached out to the wall at my side to brace myself with one hand. Gripping the towel tightly at my waist to refrain from dropping it, I heard a giggle.
“Had you waited a little longer, I could have joined you in there.” Holly bit her lip and allowed her gaze to scan over me. “Showers are so much more enjoyable when you have someone to wash your back.”
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Came to see Nolan.” Reaching out toward me, she placed one finger to my abs, and I pushed her hand away without hesitation. The idea of her touching me disgusted me. “Or at least that’s what I told him.”
“This has got to stop.” I was not a violent man, nor aggressive when it came to women, but fuck, this was going on too long, and it had gone too far. “I don’t want you, and I will never want you. Do I have to fucking get a restraining order or press charges for stalking to get you to fucking understand that? You disgust me. I am in no way attracted to you. Even if I wasn’t in love with Chloe, I wouldn’t want you.”
“You don’t love her.” She acted as though I had offended her. Crossing her arms over her chest, it was the first time I’d seen her look hurt.
Maybe it was wrong of me to push hard, but all I could see when I looked at Holly was the bitch who had been causing my girl pain. The one who had been looking for every weak point of Chloe’s and using it to her advantage. She was the bitch who had caused any amount of friction that Chloe and I had, and I was done. I was more than done.
“I do love her.” I stepped closer, staring her directly in the eyes to place as much emphasis on my words and their meaning as possible. “I’m so in love with her that I can’t breathe when she’s not at my side. She’s all I see, all I want, and one day I will ask her to marry me. Nothing or no one will ever fill the void her absence would leave within me. I love Chloe. I will never feel those things about you. Never have I nor never will I feel anything more for you than hate at this point. You are vile, and these attempts to get close to me, to plant yourself in my life, they’re desperate and a waste of fucking time. They will never work. I will never want you.”
Holly stared at me through angry slitted eyes. Her arms crossed over her chest, her mouth pressed in a tight line, and all I could think was maybe she fucking got it now.
“She stopped by a little bit ago.” A smug smile tugged at her lips. “I told her that you were in the shower where I’d left you. She didn’t seem too happy about that.” With that, Holly spun on her heels and walked out, leaving me replaying her words in my mind. She was attempting to get to me, to eat away at me. The longer I stood there, the more my nerves grew weary and suddenly my feet were in motion.
Taking two stairs at a time, I was breathing hard by the time I reached the main level. Searching for my phone, I found it tossed in the bottom of my locker where I know I had not left it. Bringing it alive, I felt my stomach lurch when the screen was filled with an image I knew wasn’t there before. An image at that point I knew had to be found by Chloe.
With shaking hands, I found her contact information and hit the call button, placing the phone to my ear. Each ring was more of a loud echoing ring, one after another, that only made me feel even more erratic inside.
“This is Chloe, leave me a message.”
The sweetness in her voice, I could almost picturing her smiling bright as she tried not to laugh while recording that greeting. Her innocence, her beauty, one that I knew, hell, I’ve witnessed it being crushed over those last few months.
How could I have been so blind? How did I not see what was taking place under my nose?
“Baby, I need you to call me, please, I don’t care what time. I love you.”
My chest felt tighter and tighter with each breath I took.
“Layne.” I looked up to find Mark, another guy from the crew, standing a few feet away. “You all right?”
“Was Chloe here?” He stood a little taller when I charged in his direction. “My girl, Chloe.” She had only been here a couple times, but I knew Mark had met her. Hell, the night of the Halloween event I showed her off to every single person that paused long enough to allow it.
“She was in and out so fast.” One hard kick to the stomach, or so it felt. “Nolan said she was in here.” And another. “Leaving something in your locker maybe?”
I sat down on the bench and held my phone a little tighter in my hand. Mark said nothing, but I knew he was still there; I could see his boots.
“Listen, man—”
“Where’s Chief?” I didn’t wait for him to reply as I stood and hurried past him. Passing the stairwell, through the kitchen, and down a hall, I saw the chief exited his office, and when he saw me coming, he paused.
The man was on the road to retirement, and yes, he was slipping. The guys ran this house, which was backward, but he didn’t argue. For him it was easier the way it was, he still got paid and things still got done.
“With respect, sir, things around here need to change. This is not a frat house, we don’t bring girls over to hang out for drinks, and we sure as shit don’t allow women of the crew to walk around here like they own the place. Visitors check in, visitors go through you, or at least they should.”
“Layne.” Chief looked past me, and I assumed I had attracted a crowd, only I didn’t give a shit.
“Some psychotic stalker, one that has been harassing both me and my girl, has found herself a little too comfortable here. This is not her house. She does not come and go as she pleases.” I turned around and saw some of the guys, but in the middle was Holly and, at her side, Nolan. “Are you that delusional to actually think she is here because of you? She’s been following Chloe and me around for months. Using every chance she gets to plant some lie, trying to convince Chloe that I want her instead. Holly is a fucking train wreck, and if you don’t watch out, she is going to railroad through your life and make it miserable. She’s crazy, man, fucking insane.”
***
I had never had a shift in my life that had felt like it would never end. But this one, it felt as though it had gone on for days versus hours. It was quiet, but everyone was walking on eggshells in my presence, just waiting for me to explode.
I didn’t call first. There was no hesitation. I drove to Chloe’s apartment with purpose. I needed to see her; I needed to hold her and know that we were okay.
Still riding an adrenaline high, I hurried up the stairs of her apartment and paused outside her door. A few cigarette butts lay on the tiles. I wondered who we knew that smoked.
I lifted my hand, ready to knock, when I heard the sounds of the door being unlocked on the opposite side.
When the door came open, I was fully prepared to grovel and spend hours apologizing, but one look at her and I felt my legs wobble beneath me.
“Do you enjoy knowing that she’s pining after you? Get off on the idea of stringing the two of us along?”
Chloe looked exhausted, dark circles under her eyes, wearing a baggy sweatshirt and pants, and her hair was a mess.
“I’m not stringing you along.” When I reached out for her, she shied away from my touch. “Chloe.” Taking another step into her apartment, she began to back away from me until she was past the couch. With the large plush cushions separating us, she lowered her hands to her sides.
The silence of the room was crippling. So many things ran through my mind, my stomach tense, my pulse quick.
“I meant to delete them.” I was scrambling. This was not what I’d planned on saying. I never even looked at the second two images until last night when I opened my phone at the station and they were filling the screen. “She—”
“But you didn’t.” I’d come to realize something. Chloe being hurt was the worst pain I could ever feel. But knowing I caused that pain, well, that was even worse.
“I don’t want Holly. I want you.” She couldn’t even look at me. Instead, she focused on staring at the floor. “Baby, please look at me.”
With her gaze still focused on the couch that separated us, I felt like there was a world between us. “I just think right now my life is falling apart and I need to focus on that. I need to figure out what’s next.”
“Let me help you.” I stepped around the end of the couch, and she looked up, holding her hand out to stop me. “What?” I paused even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I had to feel her close, hold her in my arms and assure her that this was all my fault and I would fix it. I had to.
“I need time.”
“Chloe.” There was such a distant look in her eyes.
“I just don’t know if I have it in me anymore to keep doing this.”
“Keep doing what?” I was panicking, feeling like the floor was dropping out from beneath me and I was free falling with nothing to grasp.
“This.” It was only a whisper, but I swore it sounded like it echoed. “Us.” The frantic feelings in me intensified. “I can’t help but wonder if we weren’t a mistake.” And that’s the final kick, the last straw. It didn’t matter what I said or did; she’d already built that wall. She’d already decided for us.
Chapter Forty-One
Chloe
“Why didn’t you come to us?” I could hear the disappointment in my father’s words without even looking up to meet his gaze. “You should have told us what was going on.”
“I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.” Lifting my head, I found my mother holding his hand as they rested upon the table. Each of them watched me with concern, and it hit me, the support they each provided. No judgments…they would never. “I’m an adult. That’s what I keep telling you, right? Running to you asking you to rescue me is not being an adult.”
“Neither is hiding and hoping it will all just go away.” Letting go of my mother’s grasp, he slid his palm over the mahogany tabletop, and I allowed him to cover mine with his own. “Listen, I understand that you have Landon now.”
Just the sound of his name being spoken made my heart hurt. “Had.”
“And he—” I saw the moment my father registered my word. “Wait, what?”
“Things have happened, a lot of things, and I’m just not sure he and I are what’s best.”
There was a long pause, one that actually started to make me nervous and slightly uncomfortable. Especially with the way my father was looking at me like I’d grown a second head.
“It had to be extremely hard for him to come to me.”
“Come to you?” My stomach felt like it bottomed out. That feeling of lightness followed by an intense swoosh, so hard to explain but an overwhelming surge nonetheless, it was all there. “When?”
“The when isn’t important, what is, is the fact that he did. That man gave me enough respect to reach out but asked that I allow him to take care of you.”
Again with the heaviness.
“I’m not an easy man to deal with.” My mother snickered, and he gave her a look, one that clearly stated, Really woman, you pick now to be humorous? “Yet,” he arched a brow at my mother, waiting to see if she was going to add anything more before turning his complete attention back to me, “he came to me and told me all this was going on. I stood back, waited it out for two reasons. One, because he asked me to give him just a little more time to work it out. He knew there was more, but you were hiding it from him, too. You wanna know what the second reason was?”
I nodded, still in shock that Landon had gone to my dad. I couldn’t even be mad about it because wow, he’d gone to my dad.
“Because I could see that he meant it.”
So cryptic, my father had never before been a man that held back. He said what was on his mind and when, leaving no doubt in the minds of those around him. But now, each sentence he spoke left me confused and frankly shocked.
“Meant what?”
“Meant that he loves you.”
I took in a deep calming breath, needing it more than anything at the moment.
“I asked him once before, and when he hesitated, I knew it was too soon for me to trust him with my girl. I knew he wasn’t ready for me to step back and let him protect you. I had to be sure, and when he came to me, sharing everything he knew, I asked him once again.” Leaning in, my father made sure I was looking directly at him before he spoke again. “I asked him if he loved you, and there wasn’t a second of hesitation in his mind. So whatever it is you think has changed between the two of you, I think that you should know that I trust him. I trust that he would never intentionally hurt you.” I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over. “I know from experience that as a man, one who has a problem accepting that he can’t fix everything for those he loves.” Looking up, my father offered me a wink. “We tend to let our need to protect override all rationality.”
I understood how very hard it had to be for my father to let go of me in the way that he was letting go.
“Do you love him?” The tears I had been trying so hard to refrain from falling fell freely without any hope of stopping them as I nodded my head. His chair slid backward from the pressure of him standing, and he rounded the table, taking the empty seat at my side. “I’m pretty sure what you are feeling now is a premature assumption of the relationship you and Landon have.”
One look into his eyes and I knew there was something my father wasn’t telling me.
“How do you know?”
“Because that man has been camped outside your apartment from the moment you left him. So that leaves you with two choices.” Reaching out, he wiped the tears from my cheeks. “One, you could stay here, hide out, and let dear ol’ Mom and Dad comfort you, or two, you could go to him and together figure out what’s next.”
Chapter Forty-Two
L
andon
A flicker of headlights flashed in my rearview mirror, and I looked up just in time to see Chloe pull up on my right. Holding my breath, I watched as she climbed out of her driver’s side and slowly opened the passenger door of mine.
I had never been more worried and frankly scared in my life. This could be it, the moment where she decided that my ignorance was enough to end this amazing thing she and I were building. I was not the type of guy that feared much, hell, I ran in to burning buildings to save people, but damn, right now I was terrified.
“You went to my dad.” It sounded like a question, but then again, it didn’t. “That couldn’t have been easy.”
“I wanted to know if I needed help that I could turn to him. But I also knew as another person that loves you, I would have hoped he’d do the same.”
When she looked up from the space where she had been focusing, her hands nervously twisting in her lap, I noticed her eyes shined with tears.
“He’s rallying for you. I just thought you should know that.” A small trace of a smile tugged at her lips. “Never thought I would see the day that my father was rooting for any one man when it came to me.”
I was afraid to speak; I still felt like the ball was about to drop. I was waiting for the “but,” the “I think we are over,” the end of something I didn’t want to let go of.
