by Sarah Morgan
‘But there’s no reason for it to hurt?’ Anna slipped off the couch and picked up her bag and Harry in his car seat. ‘Nothing that you can see?’
‘No.’ Mark finished washing his hands and pulled some paper towels from the dispenser. ‘But I should try a little scene-setting with your husband. Glass of wine, that sort of thing—make sure you’re relaxed.’
Anna smiled. ‘Maybe I’ll do just that. It might do us both good. Thanks, Dr Logan.’
‘How are you feeling generally?’
Mark questioned her briefly, assessing her mood, and then gave a brief nod. ‘Don’t forget to make an appointment to see me in another week. I need to check how you’re getting on with your tablets.’
‘I’ll do that.’ Anna left the room and Holly cleared up the rest of the equipment.
‘What exactly went wrong with the birth?’ She watched as Mark dried his hands and leaned broad shoulders against the wall.
‘She had a forceps delivery but the chap doing it was inexperienced and she’s tiny.’ Mark frowned and shook his head at the memory. ‘Let’s just say he was heavy-handed and he rearranged her insides. She had a sinus tract through to her rectum which was permanently infected and causing her agony.’
‘And the hospital didn’t notice that before they sent her home?’ Holly was appalled and Mark’s face was grim.
‘According to Anna, they kept telling her not to make a fuss. They said that childbirth was a normal event and that she shouldn’t be a wimp.’
‘That’s appalling! Debra said you spoke to them.’
‘Oh, yes, I spoke to them.’ Mark gave a humourless laugh. ‘They took her back in and operated, and fortunately they did a good job. She actually shouldn’t have any long-term problems. Not physical ones, anyway.’
‘But psychologically...’
Mark shrugged. ‘Well, I doubt whether she’ll be rushing to have another child with the memory of that so fresh in her mind, and if there is a next time she’ll have to have a section because they won’t want her to strain that scar and risk it splitting open.’
‘Poor woman.’ Holly gave a shudder. ‘It’s enough to put you off having babies for life.’
There was a long silence and Mark stared at her, his gaze curious.
‘Does it put you off?’ His eyes fixed on hers. ‘Are you scared of having children?’
‘I—Me?’ Holly stared back at him, startled. ‘I don’t know. I don’t really think about it. Why would I? To have children you need to be in love, married.’
‘And you’ve never met anyone that you loved enough to want to have children with?’
His voice was casual but his eyes were searching.
‘My love life is non-existent,’ she croaked. ‘You know that.’
‘And I’ve never been able to work out why.’ Suddenly he was very still. ‘Why, Holly? Why haven’t you ever found anyone to fall in love with?’
Because no one had matched up to Mark. She knew that now. Since the day of the rescue, the whole of her non-existent love life made sense. It was no wonder that she’d never been able to fall in love with any of the men who’d chased her. Or that she’d never felt able to go to bed with them. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with them, or her. Not at all. It was just that she was already in love, and had been for probably all of her life. With Mark.
But she couldn’t tell him that.
‘Meeting the right person doesn’t happen that easily, Mark,’ she murmured, ripping the paper from the examination couch and lobbing it into the bin. ‘You should know that.’
‘Should I?’ His guarded response made her glance up and she frowned briefly, confused by his response.
‘Well, you’ve never been in love either, have you?’
There was a heavy silence and then something flickered in the depths of his eyes.
‘Mark?’ Holly’s voice was a stunned croak and her hands dropped to her sides. ‘You—you love someone?’
Her heart thudded unbearably and suddenly she felt slightly sick.
Mark looked at her warily. ‘Holly...’
‘Who?’ Her fists clenched by her sides and she tried to keep her tone casual. ‘You never said...’
He turned away from her, his tone dismissive. ‘It isn’t important.’
Holly swallowed hard and forced herself to ask the question, no matter how much his answer would hurt.
‘Of course it’s important. You’re my best friend.’ Her face felt strangely tight and smiling was suddenly an enormous effort. ‘I can’t believe you haven’t told me before. Does—does she feel the same way?’
Even asking the question was painful. How much more painful would the answer be?
‘No.’ Mark gave a short laugh and she saw a gleam of irony in his dark eyes as he glanced at her. ‘No, Holly, she doesn’t. The truth is, she doesn’t even notice me.’
Why was he looking at her like that? With a wry smile playing around his very sexy mouth?
‘Every woman notices you, Mark.’
‘Not this one.’ Suddenly he sounded tired and he gave a low curse and shrugged broad shoulders. ‘Forget it, Holl—it isn’t your problem. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.’
Holly swallowed hard again. She hated hearing him tell her how much he loved another woman. Hated it. But she was his best friend and he’d listened to her problems so often that she ought to be happy to listen to his.
She took a deep breath and managed a smile. ‘Mark Logan, I’ve never yet met a woman who didn’t fall for your fatal charm. You just need to work harder on her.’ She felt a rush of concern and looked at him anxiously. ‘But, Mark, if she finds out about me, she’ll get the wrong idea.’
Wouldn’t it ruin everything for him? Surely he didn’t have a chance with this woman if she found out he had a fiancée.
‘That’s not a problem,’ Mark murmured, avoiding direct eye contact and concentrating instead on an asthma poster displayed on her wall.
‘Of course it’s a problem,’ Holly said, frantic to make him see that he could blow everything if he wasn’t careful. ‘She won’t know this is a fictitious engagement, that we’re just pretending, and I don’t want you hurt.’
‘Holly, please!’ He interrupted her sharply, rubbing his forehead as if it was aching. ‘Just leave it, will you? I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly, crossing the room and slipping her arms round his waist. ‘I just can’t believe there’s a woman in the world who wouldn’t snap you up, given the chance. Has she guessed how you feel?’
‘No.’ He stiffened slightly and put her gently away from him. ‘She hasn’t. She’s a bit na;auive like that. And now let’s drop the subject. I’ve got to finish my surgery.’
Before he could move, the door opened and Caroline entered, her tone brisk.
‘Could you come quickly Dr Logan? There’s an emergency.’ She glanced quickly from one to the other, her expression anxious. ‘It’s Jack Finn. He’s complaining of severe chest pain. He was waiting in Reception but I moved him into Ian’s room to wait because I was worried about him.’
Jack Finn?
Mark sprinted out of the room and Holly followed him, glancing at Caroline as they hurried down the corridor.
‘Have you called an ambulance?’
‘Yes.’ Caroline nodded briefly. ‘But they reckon it will be at least half an hour because there’s been a major accident on the bypass.’
‘Typical.’ Mark glanced at Holly. ‘Grab the ECG machine and bring it through.’
By the time she entered the room with the machine, Mark was talking quietly to Mr Finn and taking a brief history.
‘His pain sounds ischaemic,’ Mark said quickly as she set up the machine. ‘Let’s give him 300 mg of aspirin, a GTN spray sublingually and then start an IV.’
Once Mr Finn had been given the aspirin and the spray, Holly handed Mark a venflon which he inserted with ease.
‘OK, how are we doing here?’ Mark
was as cool and unflustered as ever. ‘How’s the pain now, Jack?’
The man groaned slightly, his skin slightly sweaty and cool. ‘Pretty bad,’ he confessed, and Mark’s eyes flickered to Holly.
‘He needs some oxygen and then let’s give him some opiates and an anti-emetic.’
Holly drew up the injections and gave Mark the ampoules to check.
‘Fine. Good.’ He took the syringe from her with a nod of thanks and she pulled the ECG machine closer.
‘Shall I start?’
‘Yes, please.’ Mark gave the injections and dropped the empty syringes onto the trolley. ‘We need a 12-lead ECG. If it’s an infarct we need to give him thrombolysis.’
Holly ran the ECG and Mark watched it over her shoulder.
‘ST elevation—look.’ He pointed with his pen and she nodded agreement as she looked at the trace.
‘What are the rules for thrombolysis?’ She asked him quietly. ‘Isn’t it usually given when they get to hospital?’
Mark shrugged, his mouth grim. ‘Sometimes. But not if you have a strong suspicion that it’s an acute myocardial infarction, and certainly not if the transfer time is going to be half an hour. “Pain to needle time”, as they call it, is crucial. Check his blood pressure for me will you Holly?’
Holly inflated the cuff and listened. ‘One-forty over eighty-five.’
‘Fine.’ Mark checked the notes and then talked quietly to Mr Finn who was lying on the trolley, his eyes closed. ‘Remind me, Jack, have you ever had any stomach problems—ulcers, anything like that?’
Mr Finn shook his head. ‘No, never.’
‘And no bleeding disorders or any sort?’
‘No.’
‘OK.’ Mark glanced at the ECG again and then back at Holly. ‘Let’s give him anistreplase 30 IU by slow IV bolus injection.’
Holly found the drug and watched while Mark injected it carefully and monitored the ECG.
Caroline put her head round the door. ‘The paramedics are here.’
‘Send them through.’ Mark dropped the syringe onto the trolley with the others and reached for a pad and pen. ‘I just need to scribble a referral letter for the hospital to let them know what drugs we’ve given and that we’ve given thrombolytics.’
Holly helped the ambulance crew transfer Mr Finn onto the stretcher and waited while Mark finished the letter.
‘Are you coming with us, Dr Logan?’
It was the same paramedic that had been at the scene of the near drowning earlier in the week, and Mark gave him a wry smile.
‘We seem to be spending rather a lot of time together lately. People will talk.’ He tucked the letter in an envelope and stood up. ‘Yes, I’m coming with you. We need to keep him monitored with the defibrillator while he’s being transferred.’
‘No problem.’
Mark glanced at Holly. ‘Can you ask Caroline to rearrange my patients? I’ll see you later.’
Holly nodded and went to find Caroline, updating her on Jack Finn and helping her reallocate the remaining patients.
‘I hope he’ll be OK,’ Caroline said softly. ‘I really like that old chap.’
Holly smiled her agreement, thinking that whatever had happened to Caroline over the last few days it had done wonders for her mood.
She returned to her family planning clinic, but couldn’t get her conversation with Mark out of her mind.
Mark was in love. She’d seen him with so many different women over the years, but he’d never loved any of them.
She was astonished by the feelings of jealousy that swamped her. He was her dearest friend—she should be delighted for him. But she wasn’t. She was hurt and every part of her body ached with longing. A longing for something she couldn’t have...
* * *
Holly was already changed for her exercise class when Mark walked in, his eyebrows lifting as he took in her appearance.
‘Phew!’ He gave her a lecherous grin that was pure, predatory male. ‘I’m not sure you should dress like that in front of people who have had heart attacks—you might be considered a risk factor.’
She threw him a scathing look and carried on twisting her blonde hair into a ponytail. ‘How’s Mr Finn?’
Mark pulled a face and gave a fatalistic shrug. ‘As well as can be expected for the time being. He’s in the coronary care unit. Time will tell. I popped in to see our wayward teenager while I was there.’
Holly secured the ponytail and glanced at him expectantly. ‘And?’
‘And he seems to be doing surprisingly well,’ Mark told her, dropping his bag and shrugging off his jacket. ‘His lungs are clear and his body temperature is stable. They seem to think he will have escaped with no lasting damage. Except for his ego, of course. It’s considered seriously uncool to jump into the sea and then half drown and need to be rescued. What time are you leaving? Have I got time to change?’
Looking at him, all she could think about was that he was in love with someone else. Someone that she didn’t even know about, that he’d never ever mentioned before—who was she?
Pulling herself together, she managed a smile. ‘Are you trying to wimp out of my exercise class?’
‘Me?’ He grinned wickedly. ‘No way. You issued me with a challenge, remember? You’re going to make me sweat.’
Images of what else she could do to make Mark sweat danced through her brain, but she managed a laugh, pleased that he seemed to have cheered up since their conversation earlier in the day.
Making a supreme effort, she tried to ignore the solid lump of misery that had settled in her guts.
She’d never really given any thought to the possibility that Mark would actually fall in love at some point. All the girlfriends he’d had had never bothered her, probably because Mark had always made it brutally clear that his interest in them was purely physical. But now—now there was someone that he loved...
Forcing the thought of him with another woman aside, she walked back into his room and started stuffing things into her gym bag, stopping dead as Mark followed her into the room, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt.
‘I can’t believe the poor chap has had another infarct,’ he said, chatting casually as he undid the last of the buttons and opened his shirt to reveal a broad, muscular chest covered in curling dark hairs. ‘Talk about unlucky. And he was trying so hard to stop smoking.’
Holly’s mouth dried as he let the shirt slip off his powerful shoulders and then tossed it on the bed.
‘I...er...’ She cleared her throat hastily. ‘Yes, it is a shame. Poor man.’
And poor her, having to stand here pretending to be immune to Mark’s physique. She tried not to look at the width and strength of his shoulders, or the tantalising expanse of dark hair which trailed downwards into the waistband of his trousers.
‘I saw his wife while I was there,’ Mark continued, his hand moving to the button of his fly. ‘Fortunately they’ve got daughters living in the village so there’s plenty of family support.’
He slid his trousers down strong, muscular thighs and stepped out of them, standing relaxed and confident in nothing but a pair of black silk boxer shorts as he continued to talk.
‘It’ll be a blow to the rest of the group, of course,’ he said thoughtfully, frowning slightly as he hung the trousers in his wardrobe, seemingly unaware that her eyes were glued to his body.
‘Yes.’ She could do little more than nod, wondering what he would do if he knew what she was thinking. If he knew that she was imagining that body in close contact with hers.
Still talking to Holly, Mark reached into the cupboard for a dry towel and slung it carelessly over his shoulder before strolling into his bathroom and pulling the door to behind him.
Holly swallowed hard and sank onto his bed, trying to erase the images of a near naked Mark from her mind. If he’d guessed how she really felt he would be running a mile.
Forcing her numb brain to work, she glanced towards the bathroom, giving a low whimper as sh
e realised that he hadn’t closed the door properly and that she could see clearly through the Perspex door of the shower cubicle.
He had his back to her and he soaped himself slowly, running a hand over the smooth swell of muscle at his shoulders and down to his hip and firm thighs. Unable to drag her eyes away, Holly stared at his strong physique, her heart thudding painfully as she visually explored every inch of his fantastic body. Well, not quite every inch—thank goodness he had his back to her. But if he turned...
With a gasp of panic she scrambled off the bed and fled to her room, her hands shaking and her breathing shallow. Thank goodness he hadn’t seen her staring!
Dragging a deep breath into her starving lungs, she walked downstairs on trembling legs and sat outside on the deck, enjoying the peaceful calm of the late afternoon.
By the time Mark emerged, his hair still damp from the shower, she’d managed to salvage some of her composure and stood up quickly.
‘Ready to go?’
‘Of course.’ If he noticed the croak in her voice he didn’t comment, calmly ushering her down the stairs towards the front door.
‘We’ll take my car.’ Mark unlocked the door for her and Holly slid into the passenger seat, careful to sit as far away from the driver’s seat as possible so that she reduced the risk of physical contact with his solid thigh which rested only inches from hers. She had an all-too-vivid picture of how those legs of his looked underneath the loose tracksuit bottoms that he’d pulled on after his shower. Strong, hard with muscle and covered in dark hairs...
Oh, help!
Once inside the leisure centre she forced herself to forget about Mark and concentrated instead on making the people in her class feel confident about the exercise she had planned for them.
‘I’ll be showing you different levels for each movement,’ she told them, adjusting her microphone carefully so that her instructions were clear. ‘Just do what you feel comfortable with.’
The class was a resounding success, and as everyone was leaving Holly suddenly noticed Greg standing in the doorway, watching her.
‘Were you planning to join my class?’ She gave him a cheerful smile which faded as she noticed his glum expression. ‘Greg? What’s wrong?’
