The Doctor's Engagement

by Sarah Morgan

  She stared at her hands in silence, not knowing where to start.

  ‘Look at me.’ His soft command made her lift her chin and face him.

  ‘Mark, I...’

  His eyes held hers. ‘Why did he frighten you so badly, Holl?’

  She swallowed. ‘Not here.’

  Mark hesitated and then gave a brief nod. ‘All right. At home, then. But we’re going there right now. It’s time you told me the truth.’

  ‘What about your surgery?’ Holly glanced towards the medical centre but Mark was already starting the car, his mouth set in a grim line as he reversed out of his parking space.

  ‘Ian’s going to see my last patient and I’m not on call. Greg’s seeing Caroline tonight so with any luck we might have some privacy.’

  He drove her home, casting regular glances in her direction as she sat silently in the passenger seat.

  Once inside the house he took her firmly by the hand and led her into the sitting room, pushing her gently onto one of his soft, comfy sofas.

  ‘I’ll get you a drink.’ He took off his jacket and slung it over the back of a chair, clearly intending to go towards the kitchen, but she grabbed his hand and shook her head.

  ‘No.’ She bit her lip and patted the sofa next to her. ‘I don’t need a drink. Sit down. I’ll be all right in a minute.’

  She took a few deep breaths. She had to be all right. She couldn’t carry on reacting like this every time she saw a drunk man. It was totally pathetic.

  Mark sat down next to her, his strong forearms resting on his thighs as he leaned close to her. ‘Is there anything you need, sweetheart?’

  His gruff endearment and the concern in his eyes brought tears to her eyes. ‘A hug?’

  He gave a low curse and tugged her towards him, settling her in the crook of his arm. ‘I want you to tell me what happened that’s made you so scared. And then I’m going to go out there and kill whoever it was that did this to you.’

  ‘I should have told you ages ago.’ Holly tipped her head back against his shoulder and closed her eyes. ‘I should have told you before I accepted the job at your practice. I had no right—I’m no good any more.’

  ‘Holly, you’re a superb nurse.’ His arm tightened around her and his voice was husky. ‘You’re the best nurse I’ve ever worked with.’

  ‘No.’ She shook her head slowly and fought back the tears that clogged her throat. ‘Not any more. It affects my work Mark, it affects everything.’

  ‘What does?’ He shook her slightly, his voice probing. ‘What affects your work? Tell me what happened.’

  There was a brief silence and then she took a deep breath. ‘I was attacked.’

  She felt him flinch and when she glanced at him his face was white and shocked.

  ‘Holly, no!’ His voice was hoarse and she felt a sudden flash of remorse.

  ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so blunt.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’ He let out a long breath. ‘Who attacked you?’

  She gave a short, humourless laugh. ‘You really want the details?’

  There was a long silence and when he spoke his voice sounded odd. ‘Yes.’ He lifted her chin his eyes were fierce on hers. ‘And then I’m paying him a visit—I assume it was a him. The thought of anyone touching you—hurting you—makes me boil inside.’

  She’d known he’d be angry, of course. Mark had always been very protective of her. She just hoped he wouldn’t rush off seeking retribution. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t told him sooner—she was a little afraid of the strength of his reaction.

  ‘I was at work,’ she began softly, surprised by how steady her voice sounded. Inside she felt anything but steady. ‘It was a busy, inner-city London practice and we had our fair share of waifs and strays. I’d been there for six months when it happened.’

  ‘You were attacked at work?’ He sounded stunned and his strong fingers bit into her shoulder. ‘Where the hell were your colleagues?’

  ‘They were working.’ She gave a small shrug and a tired smile. ‘It wasn’t their fault. It was a large medical centre with twelve consulting rooms and three treatment rooms. I was at the end of a clinic when it happened. It was late afternoon—most of the doctors had gone off on calls and there was an extra patient. Exactly like today, in fact.’

  ‘They should have had security guards if it was such a rough area.’ Mark took a deep breath and his hold on her tightened even more.

  ‘This man came in with blood pouring out of his head.’ Holly’s hands balled into fists as she continued with her story. ‘I could see that he was drunk.’

  The breath hissed through Mark’s teeth. ‘Go on.’

  Suddenly she felt slightly sick and her hands began to shake. ‘I started to clean his head and he turned on me like a madman. First he just hit me.’ She broke off, her breathing more rapid. ‘And then he drew the knife.’

  ‘No!’ Mark’s groan of denial was the final straw and she started to sob.

  ‘He stabbed me, Mark.’ Tears poured down her cheeks and suddenly she felt herself lifted bodily onto Mark’s lap, his arms locking her firmly against him as if he was trying to protect her from the memory. ‘He stabbed me—again and again—and just when I thought I was going to die one of the receptionists came in for something and she pressed the alarm.’

  ‘Oh, God.’ Mark swallowed hard, his face buried in her hair, his hands holding her tightly against him. ‘Oh, Holly, sweetheart.’

  His anguish brought all her emotions to the surface and she sobbed into his chest while he held her tightly, soothing her with gentle words as she cried.

  ‘Tell me he didn’t get away,’ Mark said softly, his voice shaky with emotion as he stroked her hair away from her face and rummaged in his pocket for a handkerchief. In the end he gave up looking and mopped her tears with the edge of his shirt. ‘Tell me they got the bastard.’

  Holly sniffed and nodded, her breathing jerky. ‘Two of the GPs came in then and managed to get the knife from him. They saved my life.’

  ‘That two weeks I couldn’t get hold of you—’ Mark’s voice was a hoarse whisper ‘—you were in hospital, weren’t you?’

  She nodded slowly. ‘For some of it, yes. Then I went home to my parents. I didn’t want to be on my own in the flat.’

  ‘Why didn’t someone tell me?’ Mark rubbed a hand across his face and breathed out heavily. ‘My mother—your mother—what the hell were they playing at? They should have told me.’

  ‘You’d just started your new job,’ Holly muttered, reaching for the edge of his shirt again. Damn. She had to stop crying. It was ridiculous! ‘I asked them not to tell you. I knew you’d drop everything to be with me—’

  ‘Damn right I would!’ Mark’s voice was a growl. ‘And you had no right to stop me.’

  ‘I had every right,’ Holly mumbled, wiping her eyes and sniffing hard. ‘Your new employers would have taken a dim view of you gallivanting off to London at the first excuse. Your mum wanted to tell you but I persuaded her to see sense.’

  ‘I’ll have words with her,’ Mark muttered, raking long fingers through his dark hair and taking a steadying breath. ‘I’m your best friend, Holl. I should have been there. God, when I think about it...’

  ‘You couldn’t have done anything,’ Holly said logically. ‘You just would have put your own career in jeopardy.’

  There was a long silence and then Mark frowned. ‘You said the GPs saved your life.’

  ‘Well, they dragged him away from me and got a drip in—two drips actually.’ She was matter-of-fact now, the storm of emotion suddenly burnt out by its very intensity. ‘They pumped me full of fluid and did what they could to stop the bleeding. Most of the stab wounds were superficial fortunately.’

  ‘But the others?’

  Holly gave a small shrug. ‘They had to remove a small section of my bowel but it hasn’t caused any long-term problems. Physically I’m mended.’

  ‘And mentally?’

&nb
sp; ‘I thought I was doing all right until today.’

  ‘You were. You are,’ Mark said firmly, pushing her blonde hair away from her face, his eyes gentle as he gazed down at her. ‘You’re bound to feel anxious when you come up against a drunk male after what happened. How the hell did you cope?’

  Holly stared down at her hands. ‘I don’t think I did. After it happened I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his face.’

  Mark nodded, his jaw tense. ‘And that’s why you looked so awful when you first arrived.’

  ‘Yes.’ Holly nodded. ‘But I actually did feel a lot better, being here. It was the right thing to do.’

  Mark stirred and shifted his position slightly. ‘Because Cornwall feels safer than London?’

  ‘Not just that.’ A flush spread over her cheeks and he frowned and tilted her chin towards him.

  ‘What, then?’

  ‘It was having you in the house,’ she said simply. ‘Having you nearby. You made me feel safe.’

  He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this sooner, Holly.’

  ‘At first I didn’t want to trouble you,’ she said honestly, ‘and after that I didn’t want to discuss it with anyone. I thought if I ignored it then it would eventually go away. I resigned from my job because I didn’t dare work in an inner-city practice again and I had some time off. I did a few days’ agency work but it never felt right. And then you rang.’

  ‘Thank goodness I did,’ Mark said grimly. ‘And what happened to the man who attacked you? I assume the police did get him?’

  ‘Oh, yes.’ Holly’s expression was bleak. ‘It turned out he had a long psychiatric history and he was sectioned. I don’t know the details—I didn’t want to know. I was too busy battling with my own problems.’

  ‘I can’t believe you went through all this without telling me.’ He put two fingers under her chin and lifted her face to his, his eyes holding hers. ‘If you’d called me I would have come, you know that.’

  She nodded and the tears started again. ‘I know. That’s why I didn’t call. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to talk it through without you climbing on that white charger of yours and galloping to my rescue.’

  Mark muttered something under his breath and hugged her hard against his broad chest. ‘That’s what friends are for.’

  ‘Yes, well, I thought I was over it until that drunk today.’ Holly sighed and slid off his lap, walking over to the windows and staring out across the bay. ‘What am I going to do, Mark? I can’t fall to pieces every time I see someone drunk.’

  ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself.’ His voice was deep and gruff. ‘It’s early days. The scars have barely started to heal.’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She leaned her forehead against the cool glass, her eyes burning from the tears she’d shed. ‘At the moment I don’t feel as though they’re ever going to heal.’

  She heard his footsteps on the wooden floor and then his hands curled over her shoulders and he pulled her against him, trapping her against his powerful frame. ‘You won’t forget, but the memories will fade and you’ll start to feel safer. Maybe we ought to consider putting you through a self-defence course. It might give you confidence.’

  She hesitated and then shook her head. ‘I don’t think I could ever fight anyone. When it happened I just froze.’

  ‘Training would sort that out,’ Mark said steadily. ‘It teaches you to react, not freeze. But we’ll think about that another time. Right now you look exhausted. Why don’t you go and have a long soak in the bath and I’ll bring you some supper?’

  Too tired to argue, she dragged herself upstairs and did as he’d suggested, her head thumping from the intensity of her emotional reaction to the events of the day.

  Barely able to stay awake, she clambered out of the bath and dried herself before collapsing into the bed. By the time Mark arrived with her supper she was fast asleep.

  * * *

  It was the dream that woke her.

  The same dream that she’d had every night for the first few weeks after the attack.

  Only this time the images were intensified. Everything was more colourful, more real, more terrifying.

  With a moan of panic she sat upright, her breath coming in gasps as she tried to focus on the room, but almost immediately strong arms curled around her and pulled her back down into the bed.

  ‘Shh. It was a dream.’ Mark’s voice was right by her ear, his deep tones soothing and very male. ‘I’m right here, Holly, and no one is going to come near you again.’

  Her heart still thumping, she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. ‘C-can we put the light on?’ Her voice and body were shaking and his arms tightened.

  ‘Does that help?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Her chest lifted and fell as she attempted to control her breathing, and he immediately reached out an arm and flicked on the bedside lamp. The soft, muted beam of light spread across the bedroom, making it seem cosy and intimate.

  ‘Better?’ His voice was still rough with sleep and she tried to fight the irrational panic that chewed away inside her.

  ‘Yes, go back to sleep. I’ll be fine.’ She ought to be able to handle this on her own. She’d had the dream enough times before.

  ‘Then why are you shaking?’ He cursed softly as he stroked a warm hand over her quivering limbs. ‘Dammit, Holly, you can’t believe I’d let anything hurt you? You’re in my bed and no one is coming near you—relax. It was only a dream.’

  Only a dream—maybe, but it was a terrible dream and so real that it always left her numb with panic.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Her trembling intensified and he swore again and rolled her on her back, half covering her with his powerful body, this time offering physical protection from her fears.

  ‘God, Holly.’ His voice was gruff and very male and he swept her tangled blonde hair away from her face with gentle fingers. ‘I feel so helpless. What can I do? Tell me what I can do.’

  ‘Nothing.’ Her fingers lifted to one warm shoulder, tracing the curve of muscle, feeling his strength. ‘Rationally I know I’m safe, it’s just that fear isn’t rational. The dream is so vivid that it takes me a while to push it away.’

  Mark frowned. ‘Do you want a hot drink or something?’

  ‘No.’ Her fingers curled into his hard muscle. ‘I don’t want you to let me go.’

  ‘I won’t let you go.’ His gaze was fiercely possessive and for a long moment he stared down at her.

  ‘Mark...’ Holly whispered, memories of the dream receding as she stared back into his very dark eyes. Had she ever stared into them like this before? Had she ever noticed those thick, dark lashes or the tiny creases at the corners which made him look so sexy? And the way he was looking at her made her stomach tighten and her breathing stop. He’d looked at her the same way that day at the beach. And that night on the deck.

  Suddenly all she could think about was what it had felt like to be kissed by him. Incredible.

  And being this close was tempting—so very tempting. All she had to do was lift her head an inch and she could touch his mouth. And she wanted to. She wanted to feel Mark’s kiss again. Wanted to feel those incredible sensations that made her head spin and rational thought vanish.

  Against her will her eyes shifted to his firm, well-shaped mouth, her own lips parting slightly as she imagined, as she remembered...

  He wasn’t going to kiss her, of course. He had no reason to—no one was watching. But what if she kissed him? Feeling slightly dizzy and reckless after the emotions of the day, her eyes lifted to his. Did she dare? Would he push her away?

  ‘Holly?’ His voice was a mixture of question and warning and, without giving herself time to change her mind, she followed her instincts.

  Drawing his head down to hers, she kissed him quickly, mentally preparing herself for rejection. Nibbling at his lips provocatively, she locked her fingers around his strong neck, determined to keep
him close to her. Under the tips of her fingers she felt him stiffen. Felt his shock and his indecision and instinctively knew that he was going to pull away. With a moan of protest her fingers tightened on his neck, refusing to release him, and for a moment he was totally still.

  And then, with a muffled curse, his mouth moved on hers and he responded. For a few seconds his touch was gentle, matching her hesitation, but then suddenly he took control, kissing her with a hot, sexual need that sent burning tongues of fire through her whole body. Gasping, she arched against him, wanting him closer, needing to feel every inch of his powerful body. The strength of her desire stunned her and she slid a shaking hand down his warm, muscular back. Did he feel the same way? Did he?

  With a smooth movement he shifted above her and she felt the undeniable evidence that he did feel the same way as his male body came into intimate contact with hers. She stiffened slightly as his thigh parted hers, overwhelmed by the unfamiliar sensations which drugged her ability to think clearly and respond with her head.

  Then his kiss deepened and his mouth seduced hers with a fierce hunger, his touch designed to ignite a similar depth of response within her. And it did. Who wanted to think when they could feel? And how could anything that felt so right ever be wrong? And she knew, with an absolute certainty, that this was where she was meant to be. With this man, in his arms.

  His warm hand slid down her body and cupped one full breast, teasing the dusky peak with skilful fingers, the weight of his hard body holding hers down as she arched and writhed beneath him. With a groan of satisfaction he parted her thighs, touching her intimately for the first time, his long, strong fingers exploring her with a skill that made her gasp against his mouth.

  ‘Mark!’ Her whole body ached and throbbed under his sure touch and she twisted and sobbed in an effort to free herself of the desperately delicious feelings he arose in her.

  Overwhelmed by a sexual hunger that was totally alien to her, she was quivering with anticipation, her whole body crying out for the ultimate conclusion.

  Now she knew why women made fools of themselves over men, how sexual feelings could overwhelm common sense, but she knew that for her it was more than that. For her it was love. Her love for Mark came from deep within her and, despite his undeniable skill in the bedroom, it was love that drove her passion.