‘Guys?’
He heard footsteps on the stairs, recognised Howard’s heavy tread, and moved to meet him in the hallway.
‘You’d better come upstairs,’ Howard said.
‘What’s happening?’
‘It’s easier if you just come upstairs.’
He followed Howard to the largest of the bedrooms. The purple curtains Sunetra had made during a sudden sewing obsession were half-closed. Everyone was sitting on the king-sized bed, in a circle, and Nicky was at the head of the bed, cross-legged, in one of their shabby unisex robes with frayed sleeves.
‘It just happened,’ she said, and stretched out her arms to him. Dan and Liz shifted apart so he could reach her. As soon as he touched her, he knew what had taken place. Her skin was not the same. It felt so soft, so spongy. He felt immediate revulsion, but controlled the urge to pull away.
‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘It came off cleanly. Really quick.’
Howard, still in the doorway, coughed once, twice, and then keened, high and long, covering his face with his hands. Dan got up from the bed and took him in his arms; Howard sobbed. His face, visible over Dan’s shoulder, was horrifying. This is what great pain looks like, Mik thought. This is the terrible pain of loss. I will feel it too, just as soon as this numbness ends.
‘It really is okay,’ said Dan, to everyone, over Howard’s head. ‘This was always going to happen. We’ve talked about this. We’ll stay together, won’t we, for as long as we can.’
‘Yes,’ said Nicky. ‘You don’t get rid of me that easily.’
Sunetra leaned over to Liz, and stroked her hair. Mik fought against himself, made himself cradle Nicky, until the quality of sunlight through the gap in the curtain had changed, as time moved on.
Nicky patted his hand until he disengaged, then reached under one of the pillows and produced a folded white sheet. She shook it out upon the bed, and it took on human shape. She smoothed it out with her fingertips, using small, tentative movements.
‘Here it is,’ she said. ‘Touch it.’
Sunetra, always so curious to have new experiences, placed her palm upon the ankle. She surprised Mik with a laugh, warm and deep and loud. Dan and Howard came closer, and touched it too, and then Liz, her hand trembling.
Mik, his eyes on their revelatory expressions, touched it and felt—
Love.
Love reflected. The love Nicky had felt for him, for them all, for what they had made together.
She had loved him perfectly. She had cherished him, believed in him, felt no jealousy or fear of his love in return. She had taken such delight in him.
He met her gaze. She was altering before him, moving away from love, rewriting herself and leaving him behind.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘For having loved me like that.’
‘You’re welcome.’
What a gift love was. For a moment, as a memory, floating free from time and meaning. What a wonderful, willing gift.
‘Did you call for lunch earlier?’ said Nicky. ‘I’m starving.’
She got up from the bed and wandered from the room, while Howard started talking about keeping the skin safe and drawing up some sort of contract, an agreement to preserve all their skins for the future.
‘To remind us of why we need to stay together, forever,’ he said, as they ate, later.
Acknowledgements
Thank you to Dan Coxon, Helen Marshall, Mark Morris, Nina Allan, the Talking Cat, and the MNWers.
George Sandison liked the first half of this story, but told me there was a second half that still needed to be written. Thanks for being right, and for publishing it once it was (eventually) finished.
And thank you, Nick, Elsa and Barney.
I’ve got you all under my skin.
Keep in touch
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime.”
L. Frank Baum, The Marvelous Land of Oz
Just not right now.
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The Loosening Skin Page 16
