by Olivia Myers
“Wow,” Kalinda murmured.
Amber pulled her head and hands up and leaned back. She smiled at Kalinda. “Want to take a shower now? I have a removable shower nozzle.”
“Oh god,” Kalinda said laughing, but she nodded and let Amber help her up to her feet.
***
“So, is this a one-time thing, or would you like to go have dinner with me sometime this week?” Kalinda asked Amber as they lay curled up in Amber’s bedroom together. Amber’s queen-sized bed was loads more comfortable than Kalinda’s tiny twin bed in her dorm room, and best of all, it smelled like Amber—a mix of sunflowers and spice. Kalinda resisted the urge to rub her cheek against Amber’s pillows and scent-mark them.
“I would like that,” Amber said. She pressed gentle kisses to Kalinda’s shoulder and stroked her hair.
Kalinda enjoyed having her hair petted, and started to purr softly like the cat she was. Closing her eyes, she snuggled even closer to Amber and let herself be petted to sleep. When she woke up a few hours later, the light was streaming in and there was a note on the bed beside her.
She stretched and arched her back, rolling her shoulders and getting limber before she picked up the note.
Work before morning classes. Breakfast cereal in the cabinet and milk in the fridge. Pot of coffee brewed. Cups are above the sink. Help yourself. See you tonight. –A
Smiling to herself, Kalinda got up and got herself some breakfast and coffee. Looking at the clock on the stove, she realized she had just enough time to get back and shower before classes. She ran back to the dorm after she’d had a second cup of coffee and got ready.
She had trouble focusing the rest of the day. She pictured Amber tied up on the bed while she spent hours licking her from head to toe. She pictured Amber in nothing but high heels, holding a riding crop. She had so many fantasies flitting through her head that she knew she’d be useless today and was glad that these were her easiest classes.
She was going to go back to Amber’s house tonight, but she realized they needed to talk about everything. Including Kalinda’s secrets. She had secrets, and it weighed on her to keep them. What if the two of them could have each other’s secrets? They would no longer feel so alone.
She already knew Amber’s, but Amber didn’t know hers. She had things she needed to think about. She was debating on the best way to go about this. Her gut told her she could trust Amber. She could see herself with Amber for years to come, not just one night. She had a thing for strong, intelligent, beautiful women, which described Amber exactly.
She was everything Kalinda ever wanted. Amber would just have to decide how far she was willing to get involved. A one-night stand wasn’t good enough for Kalinda. She wanted long-term. Hoping she and Amber could get on the same page, she went back to her dorm room and tried to study.
Kalinda’s family had enough pull that she could promise Amber the board wouldn’t disqualify her on her scholarship if the two of them got involved. Her family donated a lot of money to the school. However, Kalinda’s mother wouldn’t be happy with Kalinda either, if she found out about their relationship.
Shaking her head as she tried to focus on the books in front of her, Kalinda realized this was far more complicated than simply falling in love with a woman and having a happily ever after.
This involved politics, money, old families, and the futures of women who relied on trust funds, or in Amber’s case, scholarships, to get through school. If she managed to get a degree from here, it would look good on any resume.
The question looming over Kalinda’s head was if Amber was willing to set aside her real sexual leanings in order to please everyone in the world. Would she live her whole life in the closet? Kalinda wanted, more than anything, to convince Amber to be with her, and to live her real life without fear.
Walking into Amber’s house later that night, she dropped her bags by the front door and followed Amber to the kitchen.
“I’m making dinner; I assume you eat meat?” Amber asked her as she was pulling items out of the fridge.
“Sure, I’m not really picky, but I do prefer meat over most veggies.” Kalinda said, grinning. It was a cat diet, but how would she explain that to Amber? She still hadn’t figured out how to bring that up.
Walking up behind Amber as she cooked, she wrapped her arms around Amber’s waist and pressed kisses to the back of her neck. She could feel Amber shiver in her arms and she smiled. She liked feeling her get all excited. She let her cook, but teased her the entire time, getting her aroused and worked up.
Amber scooped the food onto the plates and then took them over to the small kitchen island with stools and set them down. She grabbed some forks and salt and pepper and set them on the table, too.
“Drink of choice?” Amber asked as she grabbed some glasses. “I have milk, whiskey, vodka, water or juice.”
“Hmmm, can I have some vodka and milk?” Kalinda asked as she jumped onto a bar stool and sat down in front of a plate.
“Sure,” Amber said, chuckling. She got out a small shot glass and her bottle of vodka and set it in front of Amber, and then some milk from a glass container and poured a cup for Kalinda.
“I’m more of a whiskey girl myself,” Amber said as she grabbed her whiskey and set it on the island in front of herself. “It’s a nice night cap.”
“Do you find school stressful, or do you enjoy it most of the time?” Kalinda asked as she started eating her food.
“I enjoy it most of the time, I like learning new things.” Amber poured herself two fingers of whiskey. She sipped it throughout dinner, and Kalinda took a shot of vodka after her meal and finishing her milk. She set the dirty dishes in the sink and turned on the water to wash them.
“We need to talk, Amber,” Kalinda told her as she rinsed the plates off.
Amber came up behind her and pulled her hands out of the sink. She led Kalinda away from the counters. “We can talk after, but right now I need you, Kali. Please?”
Kalinda looked at her and nodded right before Amber kissed her, pressing her lips over hers. Amber hadn’t been very aggressive last time, but this time she was. She pinned Kalinda against the wall, and grabbed Kalinda’s wrists. She pulled them over her head and held Kalinda there. Kalinda knew she could break free if she wanted to, but she found Amber’s little game exciting. Kissing her back, Kalinda opened her mouth slightly, encouraging Amber to deepen the kiss and use her tongue.
She rubbed her leg against Amber’s, then wrapped it around her waist and held her close against her body. Even though Amber held her wrists, she could still use her legs to bring Amber closer.
“I have handcuffs upstairs,” Amber whispered when she pulled back. “Do you want to play with them?”
“Okay,” Kalinda said, intrigued. She’d never been handcuffed before. She was enjoying Amber’s playfulness.
“Come upstairs with me and get naked. I have to find them. I have them hidden in my drawer.” Amber let go of her wrists, giving her a nudge toward the stairs.
Kalinda walked upstairs and took her clothes off as she walked, leaving them scattered on the floor. When she got up there to the bedroom, Amber was there, waiting for her. She pulled Kalinda over to the bed, and handcuffed her around the headboard.
“We need to talk,” Kalinda told her, reminding her that sex wasn’t the only reason she was here.
“Can it wait until after I’ve had my way with you?” Amber asked her as she crawled between Kalinda’s legs, trailing her fingers over Kalinda’s thighs.
“Okay, I can live with that,” Kalinda said breathlessly as Amber buried her face between her legs.
***
Kalinda lay curled up in Amber’s bed. She’d given Amber multiple orgasms after Amber had released her from the handcuffs. They were relaxing together in each other’s arms, and now she was trying to figure out how to bring up the conversation that had been bugging her.
“So, you know how you wanted to talk about keeping secrets?” Kalin
da said as she traced her fingers around Amber’s breasts.
“What do you mean?” Amber asked her, moaning softly as Kalinda touched her nipples and started to gently massage her breasts.
“I mean, us, this, whatever it ends up becoming between us. I don’t want to have to pretend we are single women who like men the entire time I’m in school. I just don’t swing that way.” Kalinda told her bluntly. “But, I can promise you that I have connections to keep you in school to make sure they don’t use your sexual orientation against you. You don’t have to live in fear.”
“I don’t know, Kalinda. It’s just not that simple. Have you ever had something that could be used against you that you were worried about?” Amber sat up and scooted until she was sitting cross legged on the bed. She put a pillow over her lap and hugged it to her chest to cover herself.
“If I tell you my darkest secret, will you promise not to completely freak out and hate me?” Kalinda asked her, debating on telling her the truth. She’d never told anyone her secret before and hoped that if she told the truth, it wouldn’t hurt their budding romance. The one advantage was no one would believe Amber if she did freak out and tell anyone. Kalinda debated in her brain for a minute deciding what the right thing to do was.
“I’m listening. I promise I won’t freak out or tell anyone,” Amber said and then squeezed her arms around Kalinda’s waist.
Kalinda thought about what she was about to say. She could trust Amber, she decided. It wasn’t an intellectual decision, but an intuitive one, one that she could trust because of her shifter nature. Amber was genuine, and genuinely cared for Kalinda. It would be enough. Taking a deep breath, Kalinda opened her mouth and confided her darkest secret. “I’m a cat.”
“What?” Amber said, her eye brows knitting together as she looked confused.
“I’m a cat,” Kalinda repeated slowly.
“Like a furry?” Amber asked her.
“No, like a cat shifter. Like, I literally can turn into a cat. An animal cat. Like a pet house cat.” Kalinda said and then got up out of the bed. “Would you like me to show you?”
“Is it gross?” Amber asked her, looking confused. “I mean, I don’t really get what you’re saying.”
Kalinda got off the bed and stood in the middle of Amber’s bedroom. Calling upon the little kitty inside of her, she shifted in front of Amber. Her tail twitched and she looked up at Amber from the floor. She knew as a house cat, she wasn’t very scary to people, but just that she shifted shapes could give the poor girl a heart attack. She watched Amber, who hadn’t moved. Her mouth was still hanging open and so Kalinda jumped up on the bed and sat next to her. Letting out a soft mew she nudged Amber with her head and started to purr.
Amber stared down at her for a moment and then shook her head. “I don’t know if I should believe what I’m seeing, if this is the coolest thing in the entire world, or if I should be scared out of my freaking mind. This is…unreal.”
Kalinda rubbed up against Amber for a few minutes and let her pet her before hopping off the bed and shifting back to her human form. Then she sat down next to Amber again. Sitting on the bed, the two girls just stared at each other for a few moments.
“Well, now you know my deepest, darkest secret, so believe me when I say I can understand you wanting to keep things close to your chest,” Kalinda said, shrugging. “However, sexual orientation is something we can learn to work around, if you’re open to it. This, however…I don’t know what would happen to me if people knew I could shift into a house cat.”
“How long have you been able to do it?” Amber asked as she watched Kalinda intently. She didn’t seem totally freaked out, but she had a shocked expression on her face that had Kalinda questioning her judgement in showing her the truth.
“Since I was a kid. I fell out of a tree, and before I hit the ground, I was a cat. As I was falling, all I did was think that a cat wouldn’t get hurt, and the next thing I know, I’m landing on all fours and our family dog is chasing me out of the yard.” Kalinda shook her head. “We eventually worked it out so he wouldn’t chase me when I was in the backyard, but he hated cats.”
“And your parents never knew?” Amber’s eyes widened when she realized all the possibilities of being a cat. “Wait, is this how you found out about me and Mary?”
“Well, don’t be mad, okay?” Kalinda cringed, realizing that admitting to being a peeping tom could effectively ruin their budding relationship and any trust between them. “It wasn’t exactly on purpose. I was just wandering around the neighborhood and saw Mary and you together through the window. I thought you were beautiful. Later, when I realized Mary and you weren’t…serious, I took a chance to get to know you.”
“You spied on me?” Amber gasped. She scooted back away from Kalinda for a moment, looking shocked.
“I didn’t mean to. Listen Amber, I sometimes turn into a cat, and wander around. This neighborhood is safe, and there are lots of high trees here. It was just coincidence that I saw you and Mary together, but once I saw you, I couldn’t get over how beautiful you were.”
Amber didn’t move back to Kalinda’s side, and instead stared at Kalinda, her expression horrified and embarrassed.
Kalinda dropped her head down and then looked up, grabbing at Amber’s hand. “Please believe me when I say that nothing I did was intentional and my attraction for you is because of you, and nothing I saw you do with Mary. I just shared my deepest, darkest secret with you. I’m telling you the truth, I’m throwing myself out there. This is hard for me, because I’ve never told anyone my secret before. I’m sorry that part of that includes me seeing you in a private moment, but I didn’t go out of my way to find you, it just happened.”
“I don’t know whether to be impressed or disturbed by all of this. I need some time to think. You can stay the night because it’s so late, but don’t come back until I call you.” Amber told her.
“Okay,” Kalinda whispered, feeling her heart break.
Amber rolled over with her back to Kalinda, and ignored her for the rest of the night.
Kalinda lay awake, having trouble sleeping. She could feel Amber slipping away from her, and she tried not to panic. She’d never felt this way about anyone before, and the idea of losing Amber was terrifying. She didn’t know how to fix it.
Getting up before Amber’s alarm was due to go off, she wrote her a note and then left, going back to her dorm.
Ball’s in your court. I want you, I think we have something special. Let me know when you’re ready to talk. I’ll be waiting. –K
Going back, she got ready for classes, and for the rest of the day, Kalinda felt like she’d failed herself. She had trouble focusing, but this time it was because she was feeling so down, instead of yesterday, when she’d felt so excited about being with Amber.
Writing notes for her classes, she wasn’t expecting Amber to text her, but she’d been hopeful.
But Amber didn’t text or call.
This went on for the next few days, Kalinda watching her phone, feeling anxiety about not knowing where she stood, and waiting. Finally, she got sick of it and tracked Amber down in the library. The library was empty except for Amber, who was shelving books. Sneaking up on Amber, Kalinda cornered her in the back of the library in a dark corner.
Amber gasped, startled as Kalinda backed her up against the book shelves. Before Amber could stop her, Kalinda kissed her, pressing herself against Amber. Amber didn’t fight her; instead she kissed her back and wrapped her arms around Kalinda’s neck. Satisfied with the response, it kindled the hope in her chest. She knew she’d taken a risk throwing herself at Amber, and she just hoped it was the nudge Amber needed to move forward with her.
After a few minutes she pulled her head back to look at Amber.
“Can we talk tonight? Please?” Kalinda asked her, her heart racing, praying that Amber would say yes.
“Okay.” Amber nodded, her lips swollen from Kalinda’s kisses and her breaths coming in fast, sha
rp little gasps. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you.”
“I was getting scared you never would.”
“Sorry. It was so much to deal with, you know? And then I had a big final I was studying for and I’ve been working overtime due to all the people here using the library for finals.”
“It’s okay. I just wasn’t ready to give up on you.” Kalinda touched Amber’s cheek. “I’m falling in love with you and I want a chance to see if this can go somewhere. I trusted you with my secrets, and now I need you to trust me.”
“We can talk tonight.” Amber told her, but her face was blank, as if she were hiding her expression from Kalinda. It made Kalinda nervous, but she nodded.
Reaching down to pick up her book, Kalinda shot a look over her shoulder at Amber, who was touching her lips with her fingers. She was no longer looking at Kalinda. Instead, she looked thoughtful for a moment before redirecting her attention back to the shelves and the books in front of her.
Kalinda wished that she was a mind reader instead of a cat shifter. That would be a helpful power. Being able to shift into a housecat wasn’t very useful.
Fun at times, yes. Useful? Not really.
***
Knocking on Amber’s door later that night, Kalinda was practicing speeches in her head, the things she wanted to say to Amber. She was hoping that it would make a difference and Amber would accept everything and fall into Kalinda’s arms.
“Come in,” Amber told her. She was dressed in sweats and had no socks on. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she looked like she’d been crying.
“Are you okay?” Kalinda asked her, concerned.
“Not really, Mary’s friends found out about our interlude and they told the dean. He pulled me into his office and said my scholarship is under review and I might get kicked out.” Amber sniffled and walked to the kitchen, not bothering with pleasantries. She went straight for the whiskey bottle, and poured herself an extra-large drink, taking it straight back.
