by Sarah Noffke
“Well, how can I help you?” Sophia asked, happy to lend a hand to Mae Ling, who had helped her so many times.
Her fairy godmother yanked open the door and shook her head. “I’m sorry, but what I need is for you to take care of the problem entirely on your own. From what I’ve seen, you can get close to it, thanks to the chi of the dragon. The rest of us are susceptible to the danger that stuff poses.”
Mae Ling backed out of the school, pure horror in her eyes as she stared over Sophia’s shoulder.
“Okay, I’ll take care of it. But, tell me, what do you want me to do about the toxic stuff?” She was so used to Mae Ling helping her out that she suddenly worried how she’d proceed without the fairy godmother’s help.
Thankfully, she wasn’t on her own yet. “Get a sample. Take it to a potions expert. They should be able to find a solution.”
Sophia nodded and was about to offer some words of support, but Mae Ling didn’t wait for them. Instead, she turned and sprinted away while looking over her shoulder with total fear in her eyes.
When Sophia turned to gauge the hallway that had been empty, she understood the reason for the panic. Crawling down the corridor like a swamp creature was a river of sludge that seemed both like liquid and a very alive green monster.
Chapter Seven
Sophia wasn’t sure how the chi of the dragon was protecting her from the magical goo, but she had her suspicions when she ducked back into the hallway of the school. The green slime that bubbled and rose in the air like a wave in various places was nearly halfway down the corridor. It ate the floor underneath it as it progressed, which made the stuff drop lower into the school's foundation.
The acidic smell in the air burned Sophia’s nose, and she was pretty certain that the fumes would have been toxic to others and probably make them pass out. The green substance crawled up the walls and ate them away. At this point, the stuff would take over the school and destroy it in no time.
Sophia knew that not only did she need to get a sample of this poison, but she needed to contain it. As she approached, the goo sensed what she was going to do as if it was alive. It bubbled and hissed.
“Calm down, Stan,” she muttered to the gunk.
Stan? Lunis questioned in her head.
Yeah, it looks like a Stan, she joked.
I was thinking more like a Molly, Lunis replied.
Any ideas on how to contain the stuff? Sophia watched as the goo progressed in her direction, swirling and steaming as it moved like a wave in the ocean.
With magic, Lunis supplied.
Sophia rolled her eyes. I hoped for something a little more specific.
A magic spell, Lunis stated.
Backing up as Stan oozed closer, Sophia glanced over her shoulder. She only had a few yards until she reached the front door. I don’t have all day, she said to her dragon telepathically.
No, but you know who does?
The dragon playing Animal Crossing, she guessed.
Ooooh, I ran out of wood, and now I can’t build the vanity that I wanted, Lunis explained. Do you have any ideas?
The fumes wafting from the green sludge burned her eyes and made them water. I have real problems here. Can you help me out?
Lunis scoffed. This is a real problem. Without the vanity, I can’t fulfill that chicken, Roxy’s campsite request. Do you know how frustrating that is?
Sophia sighed and backed up another few feet. I can only imagine. And here I am burdening you with my problems.
Apology not accepted, Lunis replied smugly.
Conjuring a reinforced potion bottle that hopefully wouldn’t melt from the deadly substance, Sophia nearly laughed. I didn’t apologize.
Maybe that’s part of the reason I won’t help you.
Fine. Sophia suddenly felt desperate. I’m sorry.
I send your apology back, Lunis said at once.
Seriously, Lunis, you’re a real pain in the ass.
Sophia twirled her finger in the air and magically transferred a portion of the substance into the bottle, then immediately sealed it. The container was hot in her hands. She shook her head and deposited it into her cloak where it radiated heat.
Well, I guess I’m acting out because I’ve bottled up my feelings all this time, he expressed.
She suddenly felt a rush of sympathy for her dragon, who was coping with his injured leg. I’m sorry, Lun. I really am. Are you okay?
I’m fine, he said. And I send your apology back.
She sighed, this time more loudly than before. Would you stop saying that?
I can’t put a cork in my feelings like that bottle you used for Stan.
Sophia’s eyes widened with a sudden realization. That’s it! I have to contain this stuff using the same spell that reinforces the potion bottle.
I wondered when you’d put that together. Lunis laughed. I dropped all these hints about bottling up my feelings and all.
So you aren’t upset? Sophia tried to work out how to do such a complex spell on such a large area. The goo had multiplied and was now like a river eating up the corridor. She only had about a yard of space between her and Stan and was nearly backed up to the front door.
Well, I am, Lunis replied. I need that vanity. I really want Roxy to like me.
Sophia laughed at this. You’re ridiculous, Lun.
The spell to contain the green goo would require a lot of magic and drain Sophia’s reserves. For that reason, she had to get it right the first time around. She wouldn’t get another shot, and she was out of time, backing up to the open front door and standing on the threshold. If Stan made it out of the school, it would destroy the campus and the building. Sophia couldn’t allow that to happen. Fairy Godmother College was a sacred place for her.
After drawing in a breath, Sophia concentrated and created the spell that would hopefully save the school and hold the deadly substance until she could get rid of it altogether.
She twirled her hand, and at first, nothing happened. Deflating with sudden defeat, Sophia felt crushed by the weight of her current situation. Then the goo that had oozed forward and rolled like a wave froze.
It worked, she exclaimed to Lunis in her head.
I don’t think it did, he muttered, sounding preoccupied. I cashed in my caps, but I still don’t think I have enough wood to craft the vanity. Poor Roxy.
Lunis, Sophia nearly yelled. I meant the spell to contain Stan. I think it worked.
Huh? He sounded confused. Stan? You mean Molly? Good news. Hopefully, next time it won’t take you so long to get my hints.
You could have told me, she complained.
The blue dragon laughed. Now, where would the fun be in that?
Sophia shook her head as she studied the green sludge, ensuring that she’d contained it. When she’d decided that she had, she made a portal for Roya Lane, anxious to get this stuff off her as quickly as possible. Even if the chi of the dragon protected her, she didn’t want to chance exposure for long.
Chapter Eight
Sophia was in such a rush to be rid of the toxic goo that she nearly ran straight into King Rudolf Sweetwater upon stepping out of the portal onto Roya Lane. When she moved to the right to get around the fae, he did the same thing. She swerved to the left and Rudolf copied the movement as if doing an impromptu dance.
Laughing, Rudolf said, “Well, I didn’t know you knew how to tango.”
She gritted her teeth and shook her head. “Can you get out of my way? I have to get to the Rose Apothecary.”
“That’s where I’m headed.” Rudolf’s eyes brightened. “I have to check on the Heals Pills inventory. The elixir is selling like hot pants.”
Although she was in a hurry, Sophia felt obligated to correct Rudolf. “It’s hotcakes.”
“What’s hotcakes?”
“The expression is, selling like hotcakes,” Sophia explained.
Rudolf frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense. Who would want hotcakes when you can have tight shorts? And also, if you
do go and eat all those hotcakes, then you’re not going to fit into your hot pants. Have you thought about that?”
Sophia’s eyes widened in disbelief that the conversation with Rudolf had taken such an immediate strange and confusing turn. “Look, I have to hurry to the Rose Apothecary. I have toxic sludge in my pocket.”
“Is that the smell of death scent I picked up radiating from your cloak pocket? I thought you’d hadn’t washed your jeans in a while.”
“Yeah, I guess that the bottle I have Stan in might not completely seal the odor away.”
“I once put a Stan in a bottle,” Rudolf imparted. “He was a genie and had a real temper.” The fae threw up his hands and broke into the character of Stan the genie. “Let me out of this bottle, Rudolf. If you don’t, then when I get out of here, I’m going to murder you slowly!”
“Why wouldn’t you let him out?” Sophia had to ask although she knew she needed to hurry to the Rose Apothecary.
“Don’t you know that after a genie grants your wishes the only way for him to secure his freedom is to murder the one he serves?”
“So he was going to murder you regardless, then?”
“Yeah, but he thought the threat of my slow death would entice me to let him out.” Rudolf shook his head and clicked his tongue. “Joke’s on him because I threw his bottle into the middle of the ocean where he’ll sleep with the clams.”
Sophia closed her eyes for half a beat, again feeling obligated to correct the dimwitted king. “You mean, sleep with the fish.”
“No, of course I mean sleep with the clams,” Rudolf stated. “Why do you think the phrase is crappy as a clam? It’s because they’re all groggy from sleeping all the time.”
Sophia scratched her head and tried to understand how Rudolf had gotten so much in life wrong but still became king of a race. “It’s happy as a clam.”
Rudolf laughed. “That’s funny. Have you seen clams? They look like aliens. There’s no way they could be happy.”
“Why did you throw the genie’s bottle into the ocean?” Sophia asked.
“Well, genies will work and work until they escape their bottles,” Rudolf stated. “If Stan got out, it was lights out for me. That’s why many get rid of their bottles after their wishes are complete. It’s safer that way.”
Sophia nodded. “Makes sense. Then someone else can find the genie and get their wishes granted. However, no one will find your Stan at the bottom of the ocean.”
“The important point was that Stan wouldn’t find me.”
“That’s pretty smart.” Sophia surprised herself by using smart to describe Rudolf. “However, why couldn’t you make one of your wishes that he couldn’t murder you?”
“It violates the genie protocol in Section 1, 126, Part B of the amendment,” Rudolf stated matter-of-factly, then blinked at her. “How do you not know this stuff?”
“What’s more confusing is how you do, but common English phrases have escaped you.”
“Well, I am sharp as a diamond.” Rudolf smiled.
“Tack,” Sophia corrected. “The phrase is sharp as a tack.”
He gave her a look of disappointment. “Dear Sophia. Tacks aren’t really sharp. Diamonds now, those babies can cut through the ten inches of reinforced steel that’s protecting the largest diamond in the world.”
“That’s oddly specific,” Sophia replied. “So you used a diamond to cut through this steel to get to another diamond? That’s ironic.”
“Regardless of your political views on the matter, it worked,” Rudolf said triumphantly.
“You do know what the word ‘ironic’ means?” Sophia shook her head. “Never mind. Why am I asking?”
“Anywho,” Rudolf sang. “Yeah, then I got the diamond and imagine my surprise when I found Stan’s genie bottle in the vault.”
“What did you wish for?”
“Well, I already had the largest diamond in the world so what do you think?” Rudolf replied.
Sophia took a moment to think like Rudolf, which sort of hurt her head. “You asked for the second, didn’t you?”
He nodded as his smile fell away.
“It was the diamond that you used to cut into the vault, wasn’t it?”
He nodded again. “Imagine my disappointment when Stan simply leaned over and picked up my other diamond and handed it to me.”
“So what else did you wish for?”
“Well, I was fairly hungry from the heist—”
“Please don’t tell me you wished for food,” Sophia interrupted and rolled her eyes.
He scoffed. “As if. I don’t like chewing. I have people for that. I asked for a protein shake.”
Sophia covered her forehead with her hand. “Could you have wished for a cure to hunger or world peace or something?”
Rudolf shook his head. “That’s stated clearly in Section 5304, Paragraph 668 of the genie protocol.”
“Of course it is,” Sophia muttered dryly. “And for your last wish?”
“Well that day, I’d had one of those itches in a really embarrassing place—”
Sophia held up her hand. “No, stop there. I don’t want to hear anymore.”
His brow scrunched up at her. “Fine. I guess if you’ve never had an itch between your shoulder blades, then you won’t understand.”
“That’s what you were going to say?”
“Well, of course. What did you think I was going to say?”
When Sophia didn’t answer, simply glared at him, Rudolf sighed. “Anywho, I had tried everything short of dislocating my arm to scratch that stubborn itch. It was embarrassing.”
“So your last wish was to take away the itch?”
“Heavens no,” Rudolf answered. “I wouldn’t waste a wish like that. I simply didn’t read all of Section 7585 in the genie protocol handbook and didn’t phrase my question right. Imagine my surprise when I’m muttering something about how I wished that itch would go away and Stan swings around behind me and scratches it, fulfilling my last wish and his service to me.”
“Then it was murder time,” Sophia guessed.
Rudolf nodded. “Yep, so I put him back in his bottle and chucked him in the ocean.”
“That was a total derailment off-topic,” Sophia commented, strangely entertained by learning all this information.
He grinned widely. “You’re welcome.”
“I didn’t say thank you,” Sophia replied dryly.
“I would have thought you would have. Your parents didn’t teach you any manners.”
“Probably because they were dead,” Sophia mumbled.
“That’s no excuse for not teaching children to be polite.”
“Anyway,” Sophia began with a sigh. “Toxic stuff in a bottle, remember? I have to get going.”
Rudolf nodded, hooked his arm through hers, and tugged her down the lane. “I’ll lead the way. We’ll be there in two shakes of a rooster’s tail.”
Chapter Nine
“Put the noxious substance in the container by the door right away,” Bep ordered before Sophia had fully entered the Rose Apothecary.
She paused, surprised that the potions expert knew that she had the green goo. “Can you smell the stuff too?”
Bep, who was standing on the opposite side of the shop, nodded. “I sensed it when you were halfway down the block. It’s lethal to magicians and most other magical types.”
“But not as much to me because of the chi of the dragon.” Sophia reached into her cloak to retrieve the potion bottle and found it almost too hot to touch. She was about to toss it into the bin that Bep had indicated when Rudolf stepped in front of her to deposit his bottle—this one of some purplish liquid. “What are you doing?” she asked him.
He glanced at her over his shoulder. “Doing what Bep said and allowing her to confiscate my wine of the Gods.”
“Although that stuff is pretty gross, that is not what I was referring to,” Bep stated dryly, obviously not entertained by Rudolf’s usual antics.
&
nbsp; Rudolf shrugged, unscrewed the lid, and took a drink. “It’s an acquired taste.”
“It’s a high enough alcohol content to get a minotaur drunk on a thimble full,” Bep corrected.
After another long swig, Rudolf whipped the back of his hand across his mouth and burped. “Oh, I wish I was a minotaur then. This stuff only gives me a slight buzz.”
“Maybe you can go find a genie’s bottle and make your wish,” Sophia offered as she deposited the bottle containing Stan into the bin, closed and locked the lid. It sounded like steam released from the inside.
“Do you want to inform me why you brought poison into my shop?” Bep asked.
“All right, I get that this wine isn’t to your liking, but you can show a little respect.” Rudolf took another drink and started to sway.
“Again, not talking to you,” Bep said in a punishing tone before directing her attention to Sophia. “Do you enjoy making it a habit to bring dangerous things into my shop?”
“It’s not on my list of hobbies, but I get that it’s becoming sort of frequent,” Sophia answered.
“It’s part of her charm.” Rudolf hiccupped.
“I’m sorry if I put you or the Rose Apothecary in danger,” Sophia began to the shop owner. “It’s just that my fairy godmother asked me to. This stuff has taken over Happily Ever After College, and she thinks that you can help figure out what it is and how to get rid of it.”
Bep nodded confidently. “She’s right. I’m your only hope.”
“Thanks,” Sophia said with relief. “So you’ll do it?”
“I will,” Bep answered. “But it will take some time to research since I have to use extra precautions to ensure I don’t endanger myself.” She picked up a syringe that Sophia hadn’t noticed lying on the counter next to her and waved her over. “Come here so I can draw your blood.”
