by Brisa Starr
His words put a Band-Aid on my weary heart, and I can breathe better. For now.
We walk into the hallway, and he says with a flash in his eyes, “Hey, guess what? I have a surprise for you.”
“Yeah?”
“With my mom back at the house, and your dad always here, I booked us a room at the Hassayampa Inn for tomorrow night. Have you ever stayed there? It’s supposed to be haunted.” A small grin tugs at his mouth.
“No,” I say, getting excited about the idea. “I’ve heard the stories though, and I’ve always wanted to stay there.”
“Good, tomorrow night it is. I know our parents are fine if we stay the night at each other’s house, but I thought it would be nice to have some privacy.” He winks at me and reaches behind me to pinch my ass.
I yelp and slap his shoulder. I think ahead to a night in a fancy, 90-year-old hotel, with Luke all to myself, and little shivers of excitement shoot through me. “That’ll be fun.” I’m already slipping back into bliss with him, maybe against my better judgment.
“I’ll pick you up here at six. I have a meeting with a potential client at four o’clock, so that’ll give me enough time. We’ll have dinner at the hotel, room service,” he says and wiggles his eyebrows before continuing, “And then I plan to show you how I really feel...” He leans in and whispers in my ear, “So you know exactly where I stand with us.”
I swallow hard as the blood pounds in my ears, and desire pools between my legs. My nipples harden. He sees them and reaches out to graze one of them with his fingers. “Mine,” he breathes. Then, he kisses me, and my heart melts like crayons on the dashboard of a hot car. I know I’ll be fucked when he leaves, but I’ll face that another day.
I walk him downstairs and let him out. Then I step over to my I Spy Luke spot and watch him walk back home.
27
Luke
Fuck, she scared the shit out of me when she didn’t want to see me. The black hole that severed my chest for a decade, threatened to suck me down again, and I realized how important she is to my life.
Her quickness to end it, her frosty tone... it was so unlike her, and it sliced through me like a boxcutter. But I understand now. I scared her, and it’s my own damn fault. I never thought to talk about our relationship status, or what to call us.
I should have, though.
Especially after what she went through with Lance, and the pain she still carries from her mom abandoning her.
I also know that I pursued her without any kind of a plan, other than to be with her, here and now, and to move fast enough to outrun my doubt. That was wrong of me. I had every intention of going back to California when my time here was finished.
So, what now? What are we going to do?
My mom hears me come in and calls to me from the kitchen. “Luke, you’re back already?”
I go into the kitchen. “Yeah, I just had to talk with Ash for a bit. I didn’t plan on staying over.”
“Oh? Why not?” She gets up to give Blitz a bowl of fresh water.
I look out the window and see the last of the sun’s yellow rays coming in, casting the room in a pillowy glow. I glance at my mom, and she seems well. She’s wearing her beige yoga pants with a matching zippered jacket. She seems rested, and happy about Maggie and the baby.
I sit down at the kitchen table, and she joins me.
“We just had to talk about something. But I wanted to get back here for you.”
She puts her hand on mine, and she smiles her warm, motherly smile. “You know, Luke, it’s been so nice having you around. I know your life is in California, but maybe if it doesn’t seem so hard to be here anymore, you could visit us once in a while.”
Her words give me pause — “Your life is in California” — and I want to wonder... is my life there?
What is my life? Who is my life? It’s so different now than it was even two weeks ago. Everything is different now. I’m different.
“I’d like that,” I say. “Things have changed for me, Mom. I’ve gone through some big changes in just a week. Prescott isn’t what I thought it was anymore. It was hard when I first got here, but with you, Maggie, and Ash...” I trail off.
She pats my hand. “I’ve been wanting to talk with you about Ash. The other night, when we had pizza over at her house, it was so nice seeing you smile so much. I don’t think I’ve seen that look on your face, since, well, before Jeremy,” she ends in a whisper, still afraid to bring up his name.
But hearing Jeremy’s name doesn’t hurt anymore. I’ve realized so much this week about life, love, and knowing that my best friend would want the best for me, just as I would for him.
I grin. “Yeah. I know what you mean. Ash is special to me. We had a misunderstanding tonight, and we worked it out, but there’s still so much uncertainty. I hadn’t expected to start a relationship while I was here. Like you said, California is what I know.”
“You’re young, and you have your entire life ahead of you. I don’t want to put any pressure on you, though, I confess… I’m rooting for Team Prescott,” she says with a sparkle in her eye. “But, honey, you can do anything you want, be anywhere you want to be. It’s up to you. Go where you’ll have the most peace.”
I chuckle softly. “You sound a lot like Dad.”
It warms my heart because I miss him. Guilt about being away over the years has plagued me this week, and it would have pulled me down, but I’m learning how living in the “Now” is vital to happiness. Versus living with regret, which will suck the life out of you.
She chuckles back, “Yeah, I guess so. That’s good, though. It keeps Dad’s spirit alive here with us.”
And she seems at peace when she says it. I think she’ll be OK, too. I guess we’re both adapting, exploring new ways to get by in the world. Knowing that my mom is going through something sort of similar, a life change, it connects us.
She stands up. “It’ll work out. When it involves love, it always does.” She steps over and ruffles my hair. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, handsome.”
I’m left sitting alone in the kitchen, and I think more about her wisdom. She said “Love.” Shit, I don’t know why, but I haven’t thought about it in those terms until now.
Do I… love Ash?
I know I feel complete when she’s around. I know she brightens my every day. I know I want to support her dreams and passions. I know I’m wild and crazy about her — all of her. My heart doesn’t belong to only me anymore.
I know she likes me, too. Heck, I guess she has for a long time. I chuckle.
We also have an incredible connection, this insane chemistry that spins our worlds with a resonance beyond compare.
It just feels right.
I look over at Blitz, and he brings me his ball. He sets it in my lap and nudges my hand with his wet nose. I pet his head and toss the ball to the other side of the room. He bounds after it, and as I watch him, he reminds me of me, bounding after Ash. Going wherever she is.
Wherever she is.
There it is.
I know what I need to do. Can I convince her of it though?
Tomorrow night, we’re staying at the famous haunted hotel.
That’s when I’ll do it.
28
Ash
I get shivers when we walk into the lobby of the Hassayampa Inn. Only this time, the shivers aren’t from Luke. He’s holding my hand as we walk to the reception desk, and we find a place in line behind two other couples. The hotel is beautiful, with high ceilings and dark, posh furnishings, and I feel like I’m walking into an old movie. The haunted stories about the place cast murky shadows in my mind.
The hotel was built in the 1920s, and it’s a historic treasure, with etched glass, embossed copper panels, and hand-painted beams spanning the lobby’s wood ceiling. Back in the day, movie stars like Clark Gable, Greta Garbo, and Will Rogers stayed here.
I look around the luxurious place and smile with trepidation, as I admire the elaborate st
ained-glass windows and doors, and the vibrant murals decorating the walls.
“I’ve always been too scared to come here, you know,” I whisper to Luke, marveling at the ceiling as I look up, almost falling over backwards. I grab his shoulder to balance myself. They painted the wooden beams with gorgeous designs of swirling, rich, velvety reds, blues, and greens.
“Those stories aren’t true,” he winks and nudges me with his hip.
“How do you know? There are so many people claiming the ghost of Faith Summers visited them when they stayed here.” I twirl my hair around my finger, fascinated. “Some even say their rooms had weird cold spots in it! Others say they saw her standing in her pink nightgown in the hallway!” I twist my face and flinch.
He chuckles at me and shakes his head. “Trust me, none of that is true. It’s just people’s imaginations getting the best of them, or it’s a story to get clicks to their blog.”
“So, you don’t believe in any of it? Zero?” I gasp, my mouth open.
“Nada,” he says, and waves the idea off, but his eyes glitter with mischief.
I glance around the lobby with a discerning eye, and I wrinkle my nose. I don’t see any ghosts, but I notice the textured brocades on the antique furniture, the art on the walls, and the bustling sounds and creaking of wood echoing around us. It’s all beautiful.
“It is a sad story though,” I say and face him. “About the ghost. Faith loved her husband, and she never knew what happened to him. Or so it goes,” I say, and my heart gets heavy. “Maybe he abandoned her. I know how it feels to be abandoned. Ever since I was a child...” my voice trails off.
That was the story I read online. Faith Summers checked into the hotel with her husband back in 1927. He went out to buy a pack of cigarettes and never came back. She waited for three days. When he never returned, she hung herself from the hotel’s bell tower. Ever since then, people have claimed that her ghost haunts the inn, but never in a malicious way. She’s just sad, and wanders the halls at night, waiting for her husband to return.
Luke turns to me as we move up in line. “Shit, I’m sorry, Ash, I never thought of it like that. I didn’t mean to make you think about your mom.” His eyes fill with compassion, and it lifts the heaviness I felt a moment ago.
“Oh,” I say, clearing my throat to make way for a brighter tone. “Don’t worry about it. I’m really happy to be here. I’ve never slept anyplace haunted.” I grin at him, and he smiles.
I drift closer to him and link my arm in his. It’s our turn at the front desk, and as the receptionist is checking us in, I ask her, “What does Hassayampa mean?”
She directs her bright smile at me and answers, “It’s Apache, and it means ‘the river that loses itself.’”
“Wow. That’s beautiful,” I mutter as the words sink into my mind. It makes me see the place with fresh eyes, exploring a connection to Faith Summers, and wondering if she’ll visit us while we’re here. I want to meet her!
Just then, a cold whoosh of air blows across me, from my left side to my right side. Goosebumps chill me to the bone.
“Oh my god! Did you feel that?” I ask Luke as we walk away from the reception desk.
“No, what?”
“The whoosh of ice-cold air that just brushed by us.”
“Ha. No. But we just walked under an air-conditioning vent,” he says and points up at the ceiling.
“No, I felt it on my side, like someone running past me. Maybe it was Faith!” I exclaim, grabbing his arm.
He laughs, “Oh boy, this is going to be a fun night.” We step into the ancient, creaky elevator, which looks as old as the building. Luke slides a brass gate shut behind us. There are no buttons, only a lever, which he slides to our floor. The elevator creaks and groans as it takes us up to our room.
He doesn’t believe me, but I swear I felt something weird down in the lobby. Maybe Faith only connects with people she likes... or who understand her.
We get to our hotel room, and it’s romantic, with rich tones of brick red and caramel wallpaper, accented with navy blue, and mahogany wainscoting around the walls, with ornate crown molding along the ceiling, which is covered in stamped copper sheet tiles. There’s a plush, king-sized, four-poster bed covered with a fluffy, soft, white duvet and a dark red bed skirt. The room is spotless, but it smells… old.
It’s intimate and cozy, but there’s an unmistakable chill to the room despite summer heat raging outside.
Is it Faith?
We stay in for dinner, ordering ribeye steaks and grilled vegetables from room service. It’s fun eating in our room at the small table, and we finish in record time. We’re eager to get to dessert: each other.
I get a tingle between my legs, because I feel extra sexy being in a hotel room. There’s just something risqué about it, and I’m eager to lie naked with him all night, to have his body against mine.
Luke puts his napkin on his plate and gets up from the table to walk over to me. He takes my hand and pulls me from my chair, so we’re both standing. His breath is warm as he peers into my eyes.
“We need to talk,” he says, and my heart skips a beat. But I’m glad he’s bringing it up… at least, what I assume “it” is. There are things still unsaid. Things that need clearing up. Plans needing to be made... at least tentative ones.
I just want to know. What are we going to do? Knowing will help me process and deal with everything. It’s the not-knowing that kills me.
He walks me over to the bed, and I sit down on it, crisscross applesauce style. He does the same across from me and holds my hands. We’re sitting eye-to-eye like this.
“I’ve had some time to think about things since last night,” he says as his thumb strokes my knuckles.
“I’ve been doing some thinking myself,” I reply and smile back.
“Here’s what I know, Ash.” He takes a breath. “When I thought I might lose you yesterday, my whole world went black. I’ve spent the past ten years living in a darkness that shut out all light, all hope… and let me tell you, it fucking sucked.”
He hangs his head down for a moment and then lifts it back up. His eyes meet mine again, and his intensity is as sharp as a knife.
“When I started spending time with you, and looking at Prescott differently, that load I’d carried so long lifted. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in a decade. I wasn’t running away from anything. I wasn’t trying to hide. I wasn’t trying to shut things or people out, and I came to so many profound realizations. You were a big part of that.”
I don’t know what to say, but I don’t think he’s done, so I listen. Absorbing his words and feelings.
“I don’t want to go back there. That brief taste of it last night, when you were upset with me... it freaked the hell out of me, and it snapped me into action.”
He looks off to the side, gathering his thoughts, and I pause to take in how mouth-watering and arousing this man is, and how euphoric I feel just sitting in his presence.
“I think I can stay in Prescott,” he says.
I suck in a huge breath. Did I hear that correctly? It can’t be true.
“What? Are you serious?” I ask.
“Yes. I mean, it’s possible. I still haven’t figured out the details, but the bottom line is, I want to be with you, and I want to be around my family more. That means being he…”
I interrupt him and say again, “Are… you… serious?”
He laughs, “Yes. And I know your home is here. You can’t leave your dad.”
A tidal wave of emotion swells to the surface, and threatens to burst out as tears. I hadn’t realized how much fear I’d been suppressing about the idea of him leaving. Of losing him. Right now, I just want to hug him. But can what he’s saying be true? It doesn’t make sense.
“But what about your business?” My voice wavers as I try to suppress tears of joy. “What about… your life in California?”
“Well, this time here has been a good trial, to see if I could work r
emotely, or whether I would have to start over from scratch. I talked with my partners, and they seem fine with the idea. In fact, they like the idea of me drumming up business in Arizona, and possibly opening up a bigger office here.”
His face takes on a confident grin. “You’d be surprised how much money there is in Prescott. It’s not a big town, but it’s got a ton of wealthy retired folks. And virtually no competition. At least, nobody worth a shit. My line of work is based almost entirely on word-of-mouth. And I’m already plugged in here. I’ve been meeting with people the past few days, and you wouldn’t believe how much pent-up demand there is for someone with my skills.”
“Oh, Luke! This makes me so happy!” My mind races with possibilities and my heart spins.
“But I was wondering...” he continues. “Do you plan to live with your dad forever?”
“Gosh, I don’t know,” I say to him. “Honestly? I guess I always assumed I would, but that’s only because I never really considered any alternatives. I don’t know what I would do. I would worry about him though, if I weren’t with him every day, making sure he was eating well, and that he was alright.”
Luke leans forward and lovingly tucks my hair behind my ear, letting his finger trail down my jaw to my lips. Then he drops his hand and grabs mine. “OK, we’ll figure it out. It’s not anything we have to solve tonight,” he says and gives me a brief kiss.
Then he leans back. “I’ll tell you what I know for sure,” he says and gazes into my eyes. “I need you. I need to consume you. I need to be inside you. I don’t even know how I’ve made it this long today without having you.”
With a storm of emotion in his eyes, he says, “Ash, tell me you’re mine. Tell me I never have to worry about you leaving me. Ever.”
“Yes. I’m yours, Luke.”
“Now show me,” he says, and the fire in his eyes makes my insides twist with desire and aching need.
