by Lucy Coleman
29
Creating Our Own Little Bubble
I’ve had some embarrassing moments in my life, but this beats even the day of the intervention. As I shut the door and pressed up against it, trembling and with no intention of letting them in, I sort of thought I’d hit rock bottom. Little did I know…
‘Well, I think this rates as a day neither of us will forget in a hurry.’ I know I’m stating the obvious but the horror of it all keeps coming over me in relentless waves.
Lying in the dark with the covers pulled over our heads, I know that the exact same words are probably on the tip of Arran’s tongue, too. What a disastrous evening all round!
‘The look on your mum’s face. It’s etched into my skull. I have never felt like such a rogue in all my life.’
The whole evening has traumatised us both and we’ve been lying here sporadically talking about not a lot for the last hour.
‘It’s down now, isn’t it? I mean, definitely?’
I squeeze my eyes together, wincing as an image of the photo flashes across in front of me.
‘Yes, yes, it’s gone,’ I assure him. Carrie’s final call is still ringing in my ears.
‘And how long was it up for?’
‘Two hours and forty-eight minutes.’ I didn’t add that Carrie had to threaten legal action.
‘I don’t believe it, I really don’t. Who do you think took the shot?’
We continue in silence, trying to think of possible motives and opportunities, and decide which of the attendees would be capable of doing this. It’s hard to believe it of any one of them.
‘It’s a big thing to accuse someone of, isn’t it? We might have to accept that we will never know for sure,’ Arran eventually concludes. ‘I don’t like to think any of them would have been capable of doing it, knowing how much embarrassment it was going to cause. Tell me what Carrie said, I think I’m calm enough now to hear it.’
I pull the sheet down a little to draw in some air, starting to feel the teensiest bit claustrophobic. Suddenly, Arran starts laughing and the bed begins to shake. Moments later I’m laughing, too.
‘This is awful, isn’t it?’ I ask, shaking my head in disbelief.
‘Well, Mel hasn’t even met me, and she’s already upset because she thinks I’m going to take you away. Your parents think I’m some sort of penniless philanderer who ditches women when he tires of them. But after a copious amount of gratifying sex, of course, as per the photographic evidence. And when this gets out, who is going to want to employ an academic whose cavorting went viral, courtesy of an online scandal magazine? It doesn’t get much worse.’
Unfortunately, he’s right.
‘Carrie said not to panic. It will be a day or two until we know what the fallout is likely to be. It all depends on whether it was picked up anywhere else before the original article was taken down. She has a techie guy who has set up a little programme to scan all of the social media outlets and the internet for the next twenty-four hours and he’ll keep her updated.’
Arran’s head appears above the covers.
‘I mean, it’s not as if we’re A-list celebrities, is it?’
Being a man, Arran can’t quite grasp how I suffered at the hands of the trolls on social media. Ridiculing me affected my mental health, but I didn’t lose weight because of the comments about my body size or shape. I was using food as a coping mechanism and I instinctively knew that was wrong and unhealthy. But it was a phase I had to go through to come out the other side more motivated and with a clear picture of the person I wanted to be.
The question is, if they latch on to this and start trolling me all over again, will I spiral out of control? What if my self-esteem is still rather fragile? Maybe I won’t have the inner strength to shake it off. I really can’t bear to dwell on that now, but I have to let him know it’s concerning. And hope this doesn’t turn into an absolutely worst case scenario.
‘No, but we need to be careful.’ It’s a juicy piece of gossip. Writer of hot, sexy novels caught in bed with TV presenter and historian for a night of passion. Well, that wasn’t the exact title, but it’s close enough.
‘You’re not still dwelling on the past, are you?’ He looks surprised.
‘Dwelling, no. But the memory hasn’t totally faded yet. What I do realise is that some habits become addictive and I reached a point where I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t making good choices. That was entirely down to me.’
He looks relieved. ‘Good. People will always judge you when you’re in the public eye, but you don’t have to take it to heart, Brie.’
A phone pings, then pings and pings again in quick succession and we both jump up, reaching out to see whose it is and it’s Arran’s.
‘Grr.’ The noise slips out between his gritted teeth and he looks livid.
‘What is it?’
‘It’s from Harriet; all three of them.’
Reluctantly, he hands his phone over to me and I utter a loud exclamation as my hand instinctively flies up to my mouth.
You bastard! You’ve made me look like a fool!
Forget peaceful negotiations and goodwill, I want the money you owe me and I hope you lose everything.
And, by the way, I’ve sent the link to your parents.
‘She didn’t!’
Arran leans back against the headboard. ‘Oh, I bet she did! That’s Harriet’s style of payback. We’re screwed, Brie. I have no idea what we’re going to do.’
‘Let’s wait and see what Carrie has to say tomorrow.’
I reach out and Arran takes my hand in his.
‘I’m gutted because I don’t ever want to think of anything hurting you. I will admit I didn’t take this too seriously when I first saw it. But I’m beginning to understand the implications for you. If it was only me in the photograph I wouldn’t have cared that much. We’re consenting adults and what we do behind closed doors is our business, no one else’s. If I ever find out who sold that photo I will be called up on an assault charge and, yes, I know that will be yet another thing to add to the list of my failings. Sometimes, though, you have to fight back, literally.’
Last night we were so happy and now it feels like everyone and everything is conspiring against us. That’s not fair, universe. It’s not right.
‘Look, let’s assume the worst. It’s the talk of the internet for a short while. Ironically, Carrie did say I might be in for a big spike in sales. How it will affect you, we don’t know, but let’s assume you do lose some of your income. Are we going to live under a cloud, or make an action plan?’ I sound determined and maybe that’s the only way to cope with this: refuse to let it pull me down.
Arran looks at me in earnest. ‘Isn’t this about firefighting, though? It’s too late to take any preventative measures.’
‘It’s even simpler than that. I love my friends and family, and I love my work, but you and I have a real chance of happiness together. This leak isn’t our fault and we’ve done nothing wrong. I’m putting the cottage on the market because I’m sitting on well over half a million pounds of house and at the end of the day it’s just an asset.’
‘Whoa. Hold up. You’re not selling this place because of me?’
He tugs my hand and I slide across, to get closer to him.
‘No, I’m selling it because of us. Just listen to me, please.’
I fix him with a stare as he shakes his head in total disbelief.
‘We’ll buy something smaller, a cosy little two bed cottage will suffice as a home for us in the UK. The benefit is that the running costs will be modest, so from an investment point of view it’s the right thing to do. Tomorrow morning an estate agent is going to start the process and confirm the marketing price. But my guess is that it would leave us with at least a hundred thousand pounds in the bank after paying off Harriet.
‘Any potential damage to our income streams is going to be a dent. As a couple pooling our resources it means we should still be able to afford to take out a mortgage
to add to that little nest egg and buy a small place over here.’
Arran looks stunned. ‘And you’ll marry me?’
I kneel next to him, throwing my arms around his shoulders.
‘Yes, I’ll marry you. We’ll do a quick, cheap and cheerful registry office affair. No guests, just drag in a couple of strangers to act as witnesses. We won’t tell anyone until we’ve shown them all that what we’re doing is the right thing. Once we’re happily settled with no financial worries, and managing to flit seamlessly between the UK and Italy, then I’m sure they’ll all come around to the idea.’
Arran rests his head against mine. ‘But isn’t it supposed to be the most romantic day of your life? No parents, no Mel, or Carrie… it doesn’t seem right. And how can I expect you to give up this for a villa that will take you miles away from everyone you care about?’
‘I’ve been to enough weddings to know even the most perfectly planned day can go wrong. And then, even when everything does go right, some of the marriages don’t last very long. Perhaps that’s because if you aren’t careful, all of the energy goes into the planning of the event, rather than into the relationship. All I want is to be with you, Arran. I don’t care about the rest of it. But I want us to be financially secure and feel equally at home in both places. Once Mum and Dad see how happy we make each other, they will welcome you into the family, I know it.’
Arran picks up my hand and kisses my fingertips.
‘You’re not just a surprise, you’re a breath of fresh air, Brie. Earlier on this evening I wondered if you would walk away from me because I seem to have become this disaster zone. If this is what you want, and it makes you happy, then we’ll do it. I don’t have an alternative plan I can offer, although I wish I did. Nothing would please me more than the ability to solve all the problems standing in our way, like some fictional hero. But I’m only a man and clearly I skipped out on attaining anything that remotely resembles a super power.’
We hug each other and before long we’re recreating the scene from the infamous photo. I have to say it was even better this time around. There’s something very sensual about saying to the world at large ‘enough, we’re doing this so get over it’; it feels empowering.
It’s nearly 1 a.m. before we’re ready for sleep and Arran brushes a tendril of hair away from my cheek as he leans in for one last kiss.
‘Goodnight, my soon-to-be wife. One day I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’
I’m about to reply when I hear his breathing instantly deepen and I settle instead, for watching my man sleeping peacefully until my eyes refuse to stay open any longer. We’ll address the problems together, one at a time, and eventually everyone around me will come to love Arran just as much as I do. There isn’t one single thing not to love!
*
Arran is demolishing his scrambled eggs like a man who hasn’t eaten for a week. He must leave for work in the next ten minutes or he will catch a lot of traffic and I need to update him after my phone call with Carrie. She rang while he was in the shower and she wasn’t in the best of moods. Her tone was rather blunt but then we have caused her a major headache and she sounded tired.
‘The clock is ticking. What did Carrie say?’
‘She says it might rumble on for a while, but no one seems to have the actual photo. There have been a few mentions popping up here and there on some of the online celebrity chat forums. But unless the photo reappears, there’s nothing we can do.’
Arran nods, his mouth full and his expression one of acceptance.
‘The sting is that Heidi Hoffman from Cosy Living wants an exclusive interview to go out on the front page of their website. As she was the one who alerted Carrie the moment she spotted the post online, we don’t have a choice. Carrie says that the quicker the official version is up, the better. Leaks only work when information isn’t already in the public domain.’
Arran swallows the last mouthful of food and lays down his fork, pushing the plate away as he wipes his mouth with a napkin.
‘Agreed, but how on earth are we going to do this? I’m about to leave and once I’m at the studio I can’t be interrupted. Aside from two short breaks for coffee and doughnuts yesterday, we worked straight through.’
I had explained to Carrie the situation Arran is in.
‘We came up with a plan. Heidi is going to Skype me shortly after nine this morning to get the full story from my perspective. Heidi has been told that your schedule is tight, but that Carrie will provide her with a quote. Expect a call on your way to Cardiff sometime in the next half an hour. The two of you can agree on something suitable.’
He nods, seemingly happy to go along with it.
‘And the story is?’
I let out a deep breath, visibly sagging. ‘What people want to hear, basically. We met in your beautiful villa in Lake Garda and under the romantic spell of the Italian lakes we fell in love. Heidi is on the ball and I’m sure she’s gleaning as much backstory about you as she can right now. She will probably raise the topic of your divorce. Obviously, I won’t get pulled into that, although she might refer to it in the article. I will ask her not to mention Harriet by name but there are no guarantees. I’ll focus on the whirlwind effect and how happy we are to be together, but I’ll say we’re both so busy that our plans for the future are still up in the air.’
Arran eases himself up from the bar stool, then carries his plate across to the sink. When he turns to head back in my direction I can see he’s anxious.
‘Look, it’s not that I’m making light of this, but I really do have to go or I’m going to be late. However, it is ironic that I suggested creating a bit of publicity to deflect from the Paul Turner thing. I wish now we’d pursued that as it would have given this leaked photo incident less impact. You are sure this is the right thing to do, given that it’s after the fact?’ He leans in to kiss my neck as he throws his arms around me.
‘I am.’
‘Okay. Do whatever you think is best. I feel bad leaving you to deal with this today as I know you are equally as busy and you have the estate agent coming in this morning. I will give you a call as soon as I get a chance, but it might not be until early afternoon. Jeez, you smell so good.’
He buries his head in my hair and inhales several times; obviously this shampoo does deliver on its promise.
‘Extract of jasmine and honeysuckle,’ I laugh.
His arms wrap around me even tighter.
‘It reminded me of the villa there for a moment. That waft in the air late at night when the breeze is coming off the lake. It made me feel a little homesick for a second, I will admit.’
And suddenly I feel the same way. The villa is calling out to me, too.
As I wave him off I can’t help wondering how we’re both going to adjust to a life split between two very different locations. The love I feel for Arran is filling me with unfettered optimism that we can overcome anything and everything, but the world is full of unknowns. And the downright unexpected.
I wonder if I should ring Mum, but I tell myself I need to focus on preparing for the interview. It’s rather like telling a story and yes, it will be based on fact, but no one wants to read about the problems, only the fairy tale.
30
The Farrier’s Arms
‘Ah, so this is your local pub. Very quaint. I haven’t been in a country establishment like this for a long time. I’m looking forward to downing a good pint of local ale.’
Arran follows on behind me and I point to one of the massive oak beams in front of us.
‘Mind your head on this one, it’s a bit low. Mel must be in the snug.’
The corridor off the main bar still has the original flagstone floor and it’s not exactly level. I glance behind to see that every time we walk under a beam Arran has to stoop a little so he doesn’t bang his head. My stomach feels distinctly unsettled as nerves start to kick in. I have no idea if Mel knows about what happened yesterday, or whether I should mention it if she doesn’
t.
We step up into the snug, which is one of the smaller restaurant areas. There are only five tables in here and three of them are already occupied. I glance across at Mel and Ross, who are seated in the far corner, as she waves out to attract our attention.
‘Take my lead.’ I half whisper the words over my shoulder, not even sure Arran heard me, but I don’t want a repeat of last night.
‘Sorry we’re a bit late, it’s been a crazy day.’ My voice is light and enthusiastic as I give Ross a warm smile, then wait while Mel walks around the table so we can hug.
‘You look nice,’ she says but her eyes immediately travel across to Arran.
‘Arran, this is my best friend, Mel, and we’re both meeting Ross for the first time. Hi Ross, lovely to meet you.’ He’s wedged into the corner but rises and I lean across to shake his hand.
‘There’s not a lot of space, I’m afraid. Lovely to meet you too, Brie.’
He’s another tall one and I wonder who will be the first to forget to duck next time they pass one of those low beams. I stand back so Arran can lean in to shake the hand Ross has extended in his direction.
‘It’s a pleasure, Ross.’
I can see that Mel and Arran aren’t quite sure how to greet each other but Arran only hesitates for a split second before stepping in front of me to give her a hug.
‘Hey, Mel, lovely to meet you at last. Sorry about all the madness of the last few weeks. We’re hoping to slow things down a little, now.’
Well, it’s a better introduction than I was expecting and as we settle into our seats, I give Arran a reassuring smile.
Ross is rather reserved but as he begins to feel more comfortable in our company he warms up. As soon as Arran finds out Ross is a graphic designer and into all things technical, they strike up quite a conversation. Mel and I don’t want to talk over them, so we listen in and there’s a lot of head nodding. But I can see that she’s finding it harder and harder to contain a myriad of questions.
