After that it was stationary, and I picked some funky notebooks, pens, and pencils before we hit the bookstore to grab our texts for the coming term. The Beautiful and the Damned, Catcher in the Rye, Of mice and Men, Romeo and Juliet and a contemporary novel of our choice. I loved to read and if I wasn’t at practice, at the gym, in the pool or at school, I’d sit in my reading nook and read for hours, while listening to my favorite music.
Finally, our shopping trip was over, and we usually celebrated with shakes, but the whole experience of shopping was ruined for me. Both by Shawn’s unexpected appearance at lunch and by the whole Marty’s dad being married, rumor thing.
Once we were back in the car, all of us heading there, by unspoken consent, I brought up what I’d heard to my mom.
“Mom,” I murmured from the backseat, happy to let Josh sit up front, so I could muse.
“Mmmm” she said glancing at me in the rear-view mirror.
“Did you hear about Mr. Roberts getting married again?”
Her eyes shot to mine and she muttered something incoherent to me, when Josh spoke loudly over her mumbling.
“Yeah, mom. I heard something about that today too. Didn’t you know, Cara?”
Josh turned to face me, and I shook my head.
“No, I haven’t heard from Marty since he left to go on holiday with his dad.”
“I heard something from Mrs. Harris, but I wasn’t sure what to make of it.”
Mom was hiding something from me. I could tell by her tone, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it was. So, I just left it and resumed my staring out of the window position, willing the car to drive faster, so I could get home and check my cell to see if Marty had texted.
Chapter Two
Heartbreak and Horror
Cara
The car pulled into our drive and Marty was standing there. His usually happy face was turned down in a scowl and his lip was caught between his teeth. He wasn’t looking at the car and my eyes narrowed on him. How could he have such big news and not tell me?
Mom opened the door and stepped out, while Josh turned to look at me.
“Give him a chance to explain. He probably had a good reason for not telling you…”
He broke off and hopped out of the car leaving me alone. Part of me was reeling. I’d known Marty was gay since fourth grade. He’d told me before anyone else and I was the closest person to him. His Grams didn’t know. She was Christian and vocal about how all gays were sodomites, who’d be responsible for the end of days.
Marty glanced up and smiled a little when he saw me. He moved towards the car and pushed his Ray-bans up. His eyes were red rimmed and his smile wavered. My ire at not finding out from him was instantly forgotten. I rushed out of the car and into his arms as his first tear fell.
He didn’t speak, but his shoulders shook with sobs and I held him tightly as his tears soaked my shirt. We stood, holding each other for the longest time and he struggled with catching his breath. Eventually he calmed and grabbed my hand, leading me around the side of my house to the pool house.
The pool house was our safe place. We always went there when we needed to chat and, from the greeting he’d given me, I knew he needed to talk. We didn’t speak as we entered, and he flicked on the lamp beside the doorway.
Walking around the sofa, we both sat down. Something was different about him. He was different. His airy happiness and cheery nature were missing.
“So…” I began and he slipped his fingers through mine, as I sat stiffly beside him.
“I… I just…” he began, but his words choked off and his shoulders shook.
Every part of me wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I knew in that moment, he just needed me to comfort him. I crawled over, wrapped my arms around my best friend and sat helplessly beside him, as he broke apart in my arms. His whole body shuddered and the pain he was feeling made my eyes water. Without knowing the reason for his pain, and seeing him so devastated, hurt my whole being and I just wished he would tell me. I couldn’t help to fix it if I didn’t know what was wrong.
“Marty, what is it?” My voice was soft, and he sat back with a sigh.
“Where…” he broke off, swallowed, and then tried again in a small voice that trembled as he spoke. “I don’t know… where to start…” he told me, and I brushed his blond hair from his forehead and stared into his watery blue eyes. After a second, he straightened up.
“So…” he began in a shaky voice, “I’ve had the worst… summer of my life…” his voice broke and he gasped as he spoke, but he didn’t stop. “I’m assuming you heard that my dad got married?” I nodded and he grimaced.
“Well, he only told me the day of his wedding, which hurt, but it was what he told me that hurt the most. He told me I’ve to stop being gay because his new wife was like my Grams…” His eyes spilled over, I gasped and put my hand on his knee.
“Oh Marty!” My voice was soft, and he nodded once at me.
“That’s not the worst of it. He’s banned me from seeing Chase, which I wouldn’t have minded. I never would have stayed away from Chase, but I’d have pretended that we weren’t together. It wasn’t like we spent time at my house anyways.”
His eyes narrowed and he glanced up and caught my eye. His heartbreak was evident in the tears that were running down his cheeks,
“He texted Chase from my cell and told him we were over.”
His voice broke and his shoulders shook, as he twisted his ring around and around. The simple band was a promise ring Chase had given him for Christmas last year.
“He uh… he… he told Chase he wasn’t enough for me and that I deserved better…”
“And Chase believed him?” I asked in a shocked voice. I knew Chase and I knew how hard it would be for him to believe that.
“Yes…” Marty answered. That one word was filled with so much pain, that my heart hurt for my best friend.
“We’d been arguing before I went away and one of our arguments was about how I could do better. Chase knew I was chasing Harvard, whereas he just wanted to play football and doesn’t care where. He told me I was too good for him and then my dad used that against us. As soon as I got back, I snuck out and went over to see him, but his mom told me that he was out with his new boyfriend…”
Marty’s face crumpled and I wrapped my arms around him again. He buried his face in my neck and whispered.
“I’ve never wanted anyone but him, Cara. I don’t know what to do...”
My heart broke for my best friend. I didn’t know how to fix this, but I wanted to. I wanted to take his pain away, but I knew there was nothing I could do. I hated it.
“That’s not all…” he muttered, and I pulled back to look at him quizzically.
“My new stepbrother is a douche of epic proportions. He keeps making snide comments about me. I’m sure he called me a fag the other day, but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, so I couldn’t say anything.” He took a deep breath and picked at some lint on his jeans.
“Oh my God, that’s awful. What a horrible person.”
Marty shrugged and then continued.
“He has two older sisters, but they weren’t at the wedding because they aren’t really on speaking terms with his mom. Ollie is taking care of his sick dad and Kellie is away finishing graduate school, but she refuses to speak to his mom.”
We sat in silence for a while, before we decided to order pizza in and put on Magic Mike, so we could both drool over Channing Tatum. We both had the biggest crush on him for the longest time.
As the movie ended and I cleared away the soda’s and pizza box, Marty sat staring at the credits, without moving.
“I don’t want to go home…” His voice was laced with so much pain, that I didn’t know how to react.
“Stay here. My mom won’t mind.”
He glanced up at me and shook his head.
“I can’t. I’m not allowed to stay out. My dad has changed my curfew and I wasn’t even supposed to stay
out this long, but I couldn’t face going back there. It doesn’t feel like home anymore…”
His heart was breaking, and I was completely helpless. I wanted to go over and punch his dad in the face, but I knew it was a bad idea.
“Marty, you can stay here anytime. You’re always welcome, as long as you don’t make me watch Divergent again.”
We’d watched Divergent fifty thousand times because Marty had a crush on Theo James and so did I. He smiled and nodded once at me, before he stood and walked towards me.
“I know I’m welcome and I love you so damn much, Cara.”
“I love you too,” I muttered into his chest as I stepped into his embrace.
“Thank you for being there and I’m sorry for not telling you about my dad… I just couldn’t text you because he took my cell from me. I… I still don’t have it back. He said I can’t have it until he’s sure I’ll obey him. I don’t have my computer or tablet anymore either and he’s locked me out of all my social media accounts.”
Wow, I thought, that seems a bit excessive.
I hugged him tightly as he shuddered, and a tear dropped onto my head. I lifted my eyes to Marty’s and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, tasting the saltiness of his tears and hurting all over again at how his dad had been treating him.
Marty had come out the summer after his mom died. His mom knew and she told him to be brave and that he was loved regardless of who he loved. He was so comfortable in his own skin, but this boy who’d come back, was crushed and I hated it. He stepped away and jogged towards the driveway, I stood in the doorway of the pool house and watched him. When he reached the corner, he lifted his hand, waved before turning and jogging away.
I crossed the patio and stopped at the kitchen doors, my eyes turning to the driveway, because I’d heard a noise, but there was nothing to see. I clicked open the porch door and stepped through, my eyes scanning the room. Noting my mom was sat at the table with a huge frown on her face, but she glanced up as I stepped inside and smiled at me.
“How was your night with Marty?”
I opened my mouth to say fine, but the word never came. All the pain I felt for him spilled over and I burst into tears. My mom swept me into her arms and held me as I cried for my best friend. He didn’t deserve what was happening to him. He deserved his dad to love him unconditionally and ruining Chase and Marty intentionally, was the worst thing he could have done. Mom and I sat and spoke at the table for an hour after he left.
At first, she just listened to me and I knew she wanted to know if Marty was okay. Her eyes narrowed as she told me she’d met his new stepmom, but she didn’t tell me what she thought. Mom went to the freezer and brought out some chocolate ice cream, chocolate sauce and we sat and ate it in silence. When dad came home, I took it as my cue to leave and decided to go for a run to clear my head.
I raced upstairs and changed from my jeans and t-shirt into a sports bra, zipper and running shorts. My running sneakers were well worn, but super comfy. I snatched my iPod from my dresser, putting on Nickelback to drown out my thoughts and blasting the music.
I ran my usual track through the woods and pushed my body hard, leaping over logs and running around the lake twice, before heading back home at a slower pace. My breathing was harsh and sweat was rolling down my cheeks as I made my way home. I loved the quiet of the woods and ran there four or five times a week, but I had to be careful. There were snakes around and I was petrified of them. Josh had a pet python when we were kids and I hated it.
On my run back home, I saw a garter snake hidden under a log and changed direction, running parallel to my usual path, by the clearing that Marty and I used when we were kids to build bonfires. I glanced around and saw a boy sitting with his back to me. He wasn’t paying attention to me, but I watched as I ran slowly by. He never turned round and soon I was beyond the point where I could see him anyway.
I was home and in the shower within fifteen minutes and the stresses of the day hit me all over again. As I dried off and slipped into my pajamas, I wanted to text Marty, but after writing out the message, I remembered that his dad had confiscated his cell.
Stupid parents.
His dad was stupid. We were back at school tomorrow and I wanted to believe everything would be okay, but I just didn’t know what to believe. Or how to help my best friend with what he was going through.
I went to bed wrung out with my heart hurting, but I was so glad my mom completely disapproved of what Marty’s dad had done. Josh was straight, as was I, but it was comforting to know that if either of us were to come out to my mom, she’d support us one hundred percent. Just like she had Jonah, when he’d come out five years ago.
I was also worried about my sister. Something wasn’t right there and while I didn’t know what, I wanted to make sure that Lissy was okay. My fingers hovered over her name as I tried to decide what to text her, but I couldn’t find the words to put my worries down. So, I rolled over, closed my eyes and, surprisingly fell asleep almost instantly. Not waking up until my mom banged about in the kitchen at five am, the next morning.
Chapter Three
Changes and Chances
Cara
Since my mom woke me up, my nerves had kicked up a notch.
This was senior year. Senior year!
I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t feel ready or adult enough to be entering my final year in high school. College was looming and I knew coach would want us practicing every spare moment we had. I lay in bed contemplating the day ahead and trying desperately to fall back asleep, but my mind wouldn’t switch off.
After ten minutes of lying with my eyes closed and nervous energy flowing through me, I decided to get up and go use the gym, then go for a swim. I crawled slowly out of bed and shoved on some sports clothes, stuffing my bikini and swimming pants into my gym bag, along with my iPod and my cell. My eyes stung with tiredness as I made my way downstairs for my first coffee of the day.
As soon as I tasted the first drop of life-giving elixir, my body relaxed, and I rested against the breakfast bar, watching the sun rise over the back garden and woods. I finished my cup in record time and rinsed it out with the faucet, before grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, a towel from the closet and stuffing them both into my gym bag.
The gym was converted for my older siblings when they were younger and now was used by both Josh and I, it was great. It had a treadmill, spin bike, step machine, rowing machine, weight bench, numerous weights, gym balls and pull up bars. It was nirvana for my brother, but I also used it a lot too.
I started out on the treadmill, running for twenty minutes to warm up, then hit the rowing machine for twenty more, before doing twenty minutes of weights. My heart hammered and my body was coated in sweat. I glanced at my cell and saw it was only six-thirty am, so I decided to go for a swim and then sit in our hot tub for a little to relax, before it was time to leave for school.
The pool was heated outside, and I pulled the cover off, before testing the temperature with my hand. It was nice, so I dived in and began swimming some lengths. After ten minutes, I began to tire, so I turned onto my back and allowed myself to float along the pool, listening to the sounds of the grass swaying slightly in a brisk, morning breeze. The sun was bright overhead, but clouds threatened, and I considered the possibility that it would rain.
I closed my eyes and was relaxing, when rough footsteps my calm. Spinning quickly, I splashed water on my face and spluttered as some went into my mouth. My watery eyes shot up and I saw the boy from Boise crossing my yard, before heading into the woods. Part of me wanted to follow him, but another part of me was terrified.
How had he found me?
How did he know where I lived?
My heart was racing as I swam quickly across the pool, lifting myself out and picking up my towel to reveal a garter snake underneath. It hissed at me as I scuttled backwards in horror, losing my footing, and falling ass over elbow into the pool. I raced across the pool as quickly as I could
and pushed up on the far side of it, abandoning my bag with my cell and iPod. My towel was soaked, I ran across the lawn into the house, slipping on the cool, marble tiles underfoot, as I tossed my soaked towel into the washer. When I reached the closet on the landing, I grabbed another one and wrapped it around myself, before hitting the shower again.
I needed to carefully dry my hair, since I’d plaited it after my shower the previous night and I wanted it curly for school. After my shower, I got dressed into cut-off jeans, a grey blouse and black cardigan. My black Converse and my new backpack completed my outfit.
As I fixed my hair, I thought about the boy from the shops and how he’d found me. It creeped me out, to say the least and when Josh banged open my room door, I jumped out of the chair and managed to get eyeliner all over my face.
“Ready to leave, Cars?” Josh asked and then burst out laughing when I turned to glare at him.
He was driving us to school, much like he had for the past year. I wasn’t sure if Marty would meet us or make his own way. Would he even be allowed to drive his car? My thoughts swam as I cleared the eyeliner off my face and applied mascara. When I looked presentable, I tidied up my make-up into my travel bag and put it into my backpack with my new notebooks, pencils, and water bottle. I also grabbed my gym bag and then remembered that I’d left my cell outside in the garden because of the snake incident.
“Josh, can you grab my small gym bag from the patio, while I grab my lunch please?”
He rolled his eyes and strolled towards the patio, as I made a sandwich and put it into my lunch box with an apple, a banana, and some chips. Mom had also left me some cash on the counter, which I pocketed, gratefully.
Outside the sky was a mix of greys and blues, it definitely looked like it was going to rain. I was glad I’d grabbed my Parka on the way out. Marty wasn’t outside and when I checked my cell, I hadn’t heard a word from him, so we left and headed to school. Josh listened to his obnoxious music, but I tuned them out wondering about practice, classes, and Marty. As we neared school, the traffic picked up and the first of the raindrops began to fall. My eyes followed each drop as it rolled down the window and puddled at the bottom of the glass.
Nothing but The Sheets Page 2
