I give up trying. I know what I want to say; it’s just that what’s coming out of my mouth is gibberish.
‘Francesca, my name is Nancy, and I’ve been looking after you since you arrived. You’re in hospital, recovering from hypothermia. The doctor will be along later, and he will explain everything to you. Let’s try to sit you up so that you can see everyone.’
Nancy is not as I imagined. The authority in her voice made me think she was in her fifties and homely looking. Now I can see she’s much younger than that, more like in her mid-thirties. She is lean and muscular and is wearing her hair swept up into a crown of tightly packed braids. Holding my arm, she leans me forward and plumps up my pillows, then presses a button to raise the head of the bed.
‘How’s that? Ready to face your audience?’
I nod in agreement, and she lowers the rails at the sides of the bed.
‘One at a time now,’ she says, addressing whoever is in the room. ‘She’s still confused. We don’t want to overwhelm her.’
‘Fran, it’s Laurie.’ He pulls a chair alongside and reaches for my hand. ‘You gave us such a scare. Thank goodness you’re okay. Alice and Flynn are here,’ he says, gesturing to one side of the room.
Two figures materialise at the foot of the bed, their faces pinched and full of concern. I stretch out my arms, and they come to me. I hug each of them in turn. Flynn wipes away a tear while Alice weeps openly.
‘We thought we’d lost you, Mum.’ Flynn’s voice is breaking with stress. He places an arm around his sister’s quivering shoulders, and they lean into each other as though braced against a storm.
Laurie looks worn out, and I notice the shirt he is wearing hasn’t been ironed.
‘How long…?’ I say.
‘How long is it since you came in? Is that what you’re asking?’
‘Yes. What day is it?’ My voice is still a dry rasp, and it’s an effort to speak.
‘It’s Sunday. They brought you here in the early hours of Saturday. You were very sick, Fran. We didn’t think you were going to make it.’
Alice gulps and begins to sob loudly.
‘Can you remember any of what happened?’ Laurie says. ‘And what on earth were you doing at the marina? It was a miracle that the man found you when he did. His wife had been on a first-aid course at work and knew some of the basics of hypothermia. Mostly, what not to do. You weren’t wearing any clothes, and she wrapped you up in a quilt and blankets from their boat while they waited for the ambulance. By the time they got there, you were unconscious.’
I can see that Alice and Flynn are becoming more distressed. I don’t want them to hear anything else that will upset them further. Not yet, anyway.
‘Y’know what me and your dad could do with?’ I say. ‘A nice cup of tea. Do you think you could find one for us?’
‘There’s a café by the main entrance,’ Flynn says. ‘We could have a walk down and see if they are open.’
He steers a reluctant Alice out through the door. I can hear their footsteps echoing down the corridor.
Laurie takes the opportunity to go into quiz mode.
‘First of all, do you remember how you got to Willington? You had no keys or phone on you when you were admitted. And where the hell is your car? Fortunately, the couple at the marina gathered up your clothes and gave them to the ambulance crew. One of the nursing staff found your bank card in your coat pocket and did some detective work. They got hold of my name from LinkedIn, found my number and rang on the off-chance. I got here about an hour after you were brought in. I hadn’t been too worried after you messaged me to say you were going to be late, although, when it got to after eleven, I knew something was wrong. I thought you might have skidded in the snow and were lying in a ditch somewhere. I was about to ring the police when I got the call from the hospital.’
My head is spinning from all the questions, and I’m conscious that Alice and Flynn will be back before I have the chance to say what I need to.
.‘I have to tell you something important, Laurie. It will make the kids even more worried, so let’s just keep it to ourselves for the moment.’
Laurie looks at me with a puzzled expression.
‘It wasn’t me,’ I say.
‘What wasn’t you?’
‘Whoever messaged you. It wasn’t me.’
‘Then who…?’
‘I was kidnapped, Laurie. They were going to take me somewhere and kill me, but I escaped. They messaged you from my phone and then threw the phone away along with my keys. I don’t know what they’ve done with my car. It was missing when I got to the car park at the crematorium.’
‘You’re not making any sense, Fran. Who would want to kidnap you? Are you sure you didn’t have an accident? You could have banged your head. I’m going to see if I can find the doctor. I think you’ve got a delayed concussion.’
He gets up from his seat, and I reach across to grab his arm.
‘No,’ I say with as much force as I can summon. ‘There’s nothing wrong with my memory. I know it sounds as though I’m delusional, but it’s all true, and I can prove it.’
‘I’m not doubting you. I think you do believe that’s what happened. Let me find a doctor to check you out, and then we can go from there.’
There’s no arguing with Laurie once he has got an idea fixed in his head. Anyway, I feel too exhausted to continue protesting.
‘Don’t go too far,’ I say to his retreating back. ‘They will want to come and finish the job. I need to talk to DI…’
My words fall on deaf ears, as he is already out the door and walking down the corridor. The sound of his shoes squeaking on the polished surface makes me want to scream in frustration at his retreating form.
Lying back on the pillows, I realise how barking mad I must sound. An icy-cold rush of fear washes over me. What if I can’t get anyone to believe me? What if they think I’ve lost my marbles, and end up sectioning me?
Laurie reappears with a man I assume is the doctor. Tall, dark and not much older than Flynn, he has a calf lick that causes his hair to fall over one eye in a rakish fashion. He is not wearing a white coat, but he does have a stethoscope around his neck.
‘Nice to see you looking so well, Mrs Hughes. I’m Dr Shah. I was on duty when they brought you in. You were so cold you were barely with us. Your core body temperature was very low, and we had to get you warmed up nice and slowly.’
He squeezes the line on the drip attached to my arm. ‘I can see that warmed saline has run through, so I’ll take your drip out now. You’ve responded really well to treatment, and all your observations have been good. I just need to do a few checks to make sure you’re in tip-top condition before we can consider letting you go home.’
Dr Shah takes my chart from the bottom of the bed and studies it carefully. He checks my pulse, listens to my heart and chest, looks down my throat, and then in my eyes. ‘Any headaches, blurred vision?’
‘I felt a bit groggy, and my vision was blurred when I first woke up. I still feel wobbly, but apart from that, I’m doing well, I think.’
‘Let me be the judge of that,’ Dr Shah says, winking at me. ‘Now I’m going to ask you a few questions. Don’t worry if you can’t answer them all. It will take time to get back to normal after what you’ve been through.’
‘Cognitive tests,’ I say wearily. ‘My husband thinks I’m going gaga.’
Apart from not knowing what time it is, I sail through the list of questions, and Dr Shah seems pleased with the results.
‘You are doing great on all fronts, Mrs Hughes. I think the best course of action is to keep you in for a couple of days, just to be on the safe side. We can arrange your discharge once we are sure you are on the road to recovery.’
I look across at Laurie. Judging by his expression, he doesn’t seem convinced by what he’s heard.
‘Is there any possibility she could have crashed her car and is suffering from concussion, Doctor?’
‘Highly unlikely
. There was no evidence of even minor injuries when she was brought in, just hypothermia. Of course, we can’t rule out the possibility that her car broke down. If she tried to walk in the snow, she could easily have become disoriented.’
‘Yes. I suppose you’re right. Except she was nowhere near where she was supposed to be. Her explanation for how she got to where she was found seems so implausible. I just wanted to make sure she hasn’t been hallucinating or suffering some sort of delusional episode.’
‘It’s unlikely, but you are right to be worried. We’ll keep an eye on her over the next day or so. However, I don’t think you have any need to be unduly concerned.’
Dr Shah’s beeper sounds, and he dashes off to go and find his next patient. Laurie comes and sits on the chair next to my bed. He has deep furrows across his forehead. Linking his fingers with mine, he sighs deeply.
‘You look tired. Why don’t you go home and get some rest,’ I say. ‘And what about Buddy? You can’t have left him on his own all day, surely?’
‘No, I went back this morning to get a shower and change of clothes. I took him for a long run in the woods, and he was fine when I left him. I’m not happy about leaving you, but he will be due another walk soon. If I go now, I can be back in an hour or so.’
‘Can you bring in some pyjamas and my toothbrush? This hospital gown is very unattractive.’
‘Of course.’ Laurie smiles, and some of the tension drops away from his face. ‘You must be getting better if you’re thinking about how you look.’
‘And, Laurie,’ I say, clutching his arm, ‘you do believe me about the kidnap, don’t you?’
‘Kidnap, what kidnap?’
I’d forgotten about Flynn and Alice. They have arrived, balancing cardboard cups of drinks. Alice, standing in the doorway in front of Flynn, has a look of alarm on her face.
‘Let me explain, Alice…’ I reach for her hand with mine, but she shrugs it off.
‘Don’t even try to fob me off, Mum. I’m not a child. Are you saying you were kidnapped?’
42
It’s early evening, and they have moved me to a room closer to the nurses’ station. It has a large glass viewing window and slatted blinds. They have been left open, and I can see the comings and goings as nurses, doctors and visitors congregate around the central hub. A police officer has been dispatched to guard my door. I can make out the top of his balding head through the porthole in the door and hear his booming laugh as he flirts with the female members of staff.
The light above my bed has been lowered and is casting a soft, warm glow. I want to sleep. All the activity this afternoon and the effort involved in talking has left me exhausted. Nancy has brought me a cup of tea and a stale ham sandwich. After taking a couple of bites of limp bread and sipping the lukewarm tea, I start to feel nauseous.
Earlier, after I had given Alice and Flynn a condensed version of what happened, Alice freaked out – and Laurie, for once, had been on the receiving end. She instructed him to ring the police immediately. ‘How could you not believe her, you idiot!’ she screamed. ‘She’s at risk, Dad, and you’re sitting on your arse as though nothing has happened.’
We are all used to Alice’s outbursts, but this took us all by surprise. Laurie looked shocked at being the target for her anger for once.
I was too weak to remonstrate with her, and Flynn’s attempts at trying to calm her were ineffective. I recognised the signs. Alice was winding herself up into a frenzy of rage. It reminded me of the terrible twos, which, in Alice’s case, lasted until she started school. Like a summer storm, it tended to blow over. After a cuddle and milk and a biscuit, equilibrium would be restored, for a while anyway. If only it were still so easy.
The ruckus brought Nancy to the room. She looked at Alice, who was still railing at Laurie, Flynn holding her arms to prevent her from lashing out.
‘What on earth is going on here? This is a hospital, not a playground, young lady. I will not have this on my ward. You need to calm down, or I will have to ask you to leave.’
Nancy’s firm talking-to had the desired effect on Alice. She gulped a few times before taking a tissue from the box Nancy offered to her, then wiped her eyes and blew her nose. I nodded in Laurie’s direction, and he got up andwent over to her.
‘Come on, sweetie,’ he said. It was a relief to see her collapse against his shoulder, her hostility towards him ebbing away.
‘This is my fault,’ he said to Nancy. ‘My daughter has a right to be angry with me. I’m afraid I haven’t taken my wife’s account of how she ended up here seriously enough. The police are going to have to be informed. I’m sure the hospital will have procedures to follow in cases like this. Can you contact whoever needs to be involved, while I make the call to the police?’
Laurie left with a reluctant Flynn and Alice. He will return after dropping them at the station and seeing to Buddy. The whirlwind of activity in my room subsided with the arrival of DI Holmes and DS Georgiou. For some reason, I was expecting PCs to turn out on a Sunday evening. I apologised profusely to DI Holmes for taking her away from her family at a weekend.
She shrugged and said, ‘Don’t worry about that, Fran. It’s the nature of the job. We’re used to it.’
They brought chairs from the corner of the room and got out their notepads.
‘We are aware you have been through a considerable trauma,’ DI Holmes said, looking solemn. ‘If we have your consent, we would like to interview you on the understanding that your medical needs take priority. The nursing staff have made that very clear. If you feel as though you want to take a break or it proves too much for you, you need to let us know. Is that okay with you?’
I nodded in agreement. ‘I’m ready,’ I said. ‘It’s just knowing where to start; there’s so much. You’re going to be furious with me when I tell you the full story. I’ve been a complete fool, and I’ve got myself into a mess. Even Laurie doesn’t know the half of it.’
‘Just give us as much information as you can,’ said DS Georgiou. ‘You can leave the rest up to us.’
I talked, with very little interruption from the two of them, trying hard to include even the most minor detail that might have significance. Some of it was jumbled and out of order, and I had to backtrack a couple of times, my head thumping from the effort.
‘Is that everything, as far as you can recall?’ said DI Holmes, flicking through the pages of notes she had written.
It had been over an hour, and fatigue was setting in. ‘That’s pretty much it,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry, but I think I need to rest.’ I lay back against the pillows and waited for my head to stop swimming.
‘We have all the information we need for now, and your co-operation has been invaluable,’ DI Holmes said. ‘I don’t have to tell you that you are in a vulnerable position, especially in such a public place. I’m going to have you moved, and an officer will be placed outside your room for your safety. No visitors are allowed apart from direct family. We will speak again about your ongoing security when it’s time for you to leave the hospital.’
Not especially reassuring, but everything is now out in the open, with them at least. Telling Laurie the full extent of my foolishness will be a different proposition.
From my new vantage point, I see Laurie arrive. The ward has a buzzer-controlled door, and he walks in and strides past the desk where Nancy is sitting, tapping something into the computer. I wave, even though I know he won’t be looking in my direction. He returns a few minutes later, looking frazzled, before Nancy points him in the direction of my room. I hear him exchange words with the police officer, who sticks his head around the door. ‘This man says he’s your husband. Can you confirm his identity?’
I want to laugh out loud at how ridiculous it all is, but Laurie doesn’t look amused.
‘Yes. That’s my husband,’ I say, feeling like an idiot.
Laurie looks around the room. ‘Been upgraded to five star, I see. NHS patients don’t usually get their own en suit
e.’
‘Nothing but the best,’ I say. ‘Did the kids get off all right?’
‘Yes, they did. And before you ask, Buddy is fine too. A bit put out that I was leaving him on his own again. He sat by the front door as I was going, looking very sorry for himself.’
Laurie unpacks the bag he has brought. It’s one I use for yoga, and its bright blue and white spots stand out in contrast to the pastel tones in the room. I try not to turn up my nose at his choice of my nightwear and the plastic bag containing my toothbrush and toothpaste.
‘Can you come and sit down? I need to talk to you.’
‘Is it about Alice? She wasn’t upset when I left her. We had a good chat in the car on the way to the station.’
‘It’s not about Alice.’
I wish by some alchemy I could rewind and go back to the time before that fateful day when Tyler was killed. Press the erase button on all the sordid events of the past few weeks. I feel tainted by it all. A clean slate is what I want, but I can’t unsee what I’ve seen, or undo what I’ve done. And anyway, I’m kidding myself if I think everything was perfect before. It wasn’t. I just happen to have made things complicated and dangerous for us, and I don’t know how I’m going to make it right.
What I don’t feel like doing is any more talking, but I have to. The thought of Laurie finding out how much I contributed towards my own downfall is causing my stomach to churn. I gave him such a hard time after the affair, it will be fair game if he switches to the moral high ground and turns the tables on me. I deserve it, after all.
He’s quiet, too quiet, after I tell him the full no-holds-barred version that led up to the kidnapping. I have to fill in so many of the gaps. Tell him about what I discovered about Mel and the full extent of her involvement in the supply chain. He flinches when I describe how I tried to defend Gabe during his run-in with the gang in Birmingham.
‘Laurie…?’ I say, waiting for some kind of reaction.
He shakes his head and runs his hands through his hair a few times, then rubs the rough stubble on his chin. He doesn’t look at me for a long time. When he does, I see anger and disappointment in his eyes.
In A Deep Dark Wood: A psychological thriller Page 22
