Take A Number: A Fake Dating Romantic Comedy

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Take A Number: A Fake Dating Romantic Comedy Page 8

by Amy Daws


  Suddenly, the bell on the front door chimes, and Norah walks in. She’s bathed in sunlight and tugging at the black bandana covering her blond hair while buttoning her baker’s coat over her ample breasts that I’ve felt the size of against my chest.

  She halts mid-step when her eyes land on me. “Hi,” she says woodenly.

  “Hi,” I reply with a frown because she has a weird look on her face. “How are you?” I add, clearing my throat because I realize I probably have a weird look on my face too.

  “I’m good, Moser. How are you?” She glances at Max and gives him an awkward head nod.

  “I’m great.” I head nod too. It’s strange.

  “Great,” she repeats and then shrugs weirdly. “Okay then, see you guys.”

  She scurries behind the counter and joins Rachael, who’s just set down a fresh tray of croinuts to be frosted. I stare at Norah for far longer than is appropriate because now I know what her legs look like in a short dress, and I can’t help but wonder what they would look like wrapped around me.

  “What are you doing?” Max asks, interrupting my dirty thoughts.

  “I’m hoping Norah will come with me to Aspen.”

  “As your date?”

  “Obviously.” I furrow my brows at him because I would have thought that was obvious. “We got along great at her parents’ thing Friday, so it seems like the perfect idea.”

  Max’s eyes widen. “So that whole fake date thing you guys planned went well?”

  “It went…good,” I reply, turning my attention back to Norah as she finishes washing her hands and prepares to glaze the steaming sheet pan in front of her. She looks so excited. It’s adorable. “Parts of the night were weird, but it was mostly awesome. Norah can be really fun when she wants to be.”

  “I told you I thought she could be fun when forced.” Max is frowning at me when I turn to look at him again. He lifts his chin and side-eyes me. “You like her.”

  I scoff and take a sip of my coffee. “Duh, she’s hot as hell and can bake. She’s the perfect woman.”

  Max’s eyes narrow. “I mean like like her. You’re looking at her differently now. I wondered about this.”

  I pin him with a look. “I’m looking at her because she’s glazing my croinut and I’m starving.” And I know what her lips taste like and how her ass feels beneath my hands and against my dick.

  Fuck.

  “Yeah, okay,” Max says with a knowing laugh. “Look, man, you do you. I thought it was crazy when you told me what you guys were doing this past weekend, but I’m just her franchise manager, not her love coach.”

  “You’d be a horrible love coach,” I say. “You’re shit with relationships. A great father, yes. A great husband…no way.”

  Max scowls at me before gesturing over to the donut counter. “So, would you invite Norah as a fake date or a real date?”

  “What’s the difference really?” I waggle my brows suggestively, and he barks out a laugh.

  “I think Norah could name quite a few.” He pins me with a look that says, don’t go there, Moser.

  I exhale heavily. He’s right. Fake relationship or not, Norah isn’t the type of girl to blur boundaries. Although, I would never have expected her to take me to her parents’ thing this past weekend. And I damn well didn’t see that kiss coming. So perhaps Norah could surprise me. That is, if she still wants me.

  Shaking that thought out of my mind because the ball’s still in Norah’s court, I refocus my thoughts on Max. “Who are you going to take to the orgy party in Aspen?”

  “Do you think it’d be crazy for me to take McKenna?”

  His eyes are wide and hopeful as I fix him with a withering stare. “Your ex-wife’s best friend? Yes, Max, I think it’d be a horrible idea for you to take her.”

  He sighs. “They’re not friends anymore.”

  “Still…that is not a road you need to travel. Don’t you have that Aspen friends-with-benefits girl you could call?”

  He nods. “Yeah, and Everly is with her mom this weekend, so I think I’m available, but I should double-check.”

  Max pulls his phone out, most likely to text his ex and make sure she won’t need him at all this weekend. It’s been eight years since their divorce, and they co-parent their ten-year-old really well. I can’t figure out if it’s because they’re both really mature or because Everly’s mom ended up being a lesbian and the two of them went through a lot of shit to get to this point.

  Regardless, Max gets Everly three out of four weekends a month and one weeknight every week. It’s tricky for him to have a social life because the man is involved in almost every business deal in Boulder, but he always makes time for Everly.

  Suddenly, Rachael is at our table with two croinuts in hand. “Hey, boys,” she says with a smile. “Here you go…today’s flavor is Morello cherry with toasted almond cream.”

  “I don’t know what any of that is, but I don’t care,” Max says with a hungry look in his eye. “God, look at that. It’s a work of art.”

  Rachael winks at his praise. “This is actually one of my new recipes.”

  “You and Norah are a dream team,” Max says with a genuine smile. “Are you going to be comfortable here all on your own when Norah’s world implodes with more business and less baking?”

  “If I could keep that girl out of the kitchen, I would…but fat chance that will ever happen.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see something move, and when I look over, it’s Norah. Her blue eyes are wide, and she’s waving me over and gesturing for me to follow her to the back exit.

  “I’m…going to hit the restroom,” I say, but Max and Rachael barely notice my words or my exit.

  I make my way down the hallway, past the bathrooms, and out the rear exit. The warm air hits me, and my eyes find Norah standing there, waiting.

  “Hey,” I say casually and straighten my glasses, feeling oddly nervous for some reason.

  “Hey.” She wrings her hands in front of her, looking crazy shy.

  “How are you?”

  She nods. “I’m okay…you?”

  “Great.” I hook my thumb back to the door. “I got a fresh croinut in there waiting for me, so my day is looking up.”

  She smiles and chews her lip nervously. “Look, are you still game for this fake relationship idea? If you want out of it, you can say so now. I would totally understand.”

  My brows furrow. “Norah, I wasn’t high on champagne or a delayed, teenage rebellion Friday night like you were. I was dead serious when I said we could help each other out for the next few weeks. It’s not just me doing you a favor anymore. This is mutually beneficial.”

  She exhales heavily. “Good…because my mother has been blowing up my phone all weekend to host a dinner with the Hawthornes, and I’ve been ghosting her, which means she’s going to come storming in here any second now.”

  I smile knowingly and hit her with a coy tone. “Norah, are you asking me to be your fake boyfriend?”

  She cringes, squeezing her eyes shut, and nods. “As pathetic as that sounds, yes.”

  I step toward her and wrap my arm around her shoulders, trying to loosen her up. The faint smell of vanilla and cherry hits my nose, and I get a strong urge to lean in and give her a big sniff. “This is going to be fun.”

  She groans and rubs her forehead over her Led Zeppelin bandana. “I have some stipulations, though.”

  I release her and cross my arms over my chest. “It would shock me if you didn’t.”

  “So first of all, no one can know this is a lie. Max doesn’t know, does he?”

  I cringe. “Sorry, he’s one of my closest guy friends, and I sort of told him all about the fake date plan before the party.”

  “Oh my God,” she groans and scrubs her hands over her face. “I had a business meeting with him and he knew the whole time? He must think I’m so pathetic.”

  “No, he doesn’t,” I snap. “He thinks you’re a boss bitch who puts work way above persona
l life. Plus, you’re his franchise client, so there’s client confidentiality or something.”

  She pops out her hip and hits me with a look. “Have you told anybody else?”

  “No, I haven’t. Scout’s honor.” I hold up three fingers and smile like a dope.

  It works because the smile she shoots back to me lights up her whole stressed-out face. “Okay,” she acquiesces at last. “Rachael knows too, but she’s a steel trap. I’m not worried about her leaking it.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “Norah, relax. We’re not performing a high-stakes crime here. We’re just a couple of friends being extra friendly for a while.”

  Her lips thin. “Just promise it won’t get weird between us.”

  “Why would it get weird?”

  “I don’t know, Dean. I’ve never faked having a boyfriend before.” She turns and begins pacing. She tugs on the back of her bandana. “I don’t know where to begin with all of this.”

  “Well, I have our first official outing as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  She nearly trips over her feet.

  “Aspen, this weekend.”

  Her eyes turn to saucers. “I can’t go to Aspen. I have to work.”

  “On what?”

  “On the press kits that are going out to all the media outlets for the opening of Rise and Shine-Denver. I have to write up press releases and do interviews. My list is a mile long.”

  I shrug casually. “It’s nearly a five-hour drive…you can do it in the car.”

  “Dean.”

  “Norah.”

  “Faking it for a dinner and a wedding is one thing. Faking it in front of all your friends for an entire weekend is a whole other batch of nuts. I can’t do this.”

  “Right, because why on earth would you ever want to do something that resembled fun?”

  “What are you talking about? This is much more complicated than a fun trip.”

  I step forward and grab Norah’s shoulders, willing her to take a deep breath. The girl is a ticking time bomb. She needs to relax, or she’s going to blow.

  “We can still follow your stupid rules, Norah. I’ll even sleep on the floor in our room in Aspen. We’ll be fine. Plus, you can tell your mother about our plans this weekend and get out of whatever matchmaking bullshit she’s trying to pull with Douche Kayak. Not to mention, Kate will kill me if I don’t bring a nice date, so I need you.”

  She groans and presses her head into my chest. “Dean, this feels like a bad idea.”

  “It only feels like that because you need a vacation.” I wrap my arm around her and guide her back toward the bakery. “Now, let’s go tell everyone the good news.”

  Norah stops and looks up at me. “Kate was pretty upset about my Team Dean admission last week. What if she hates the thought of you with me?”

  I smile. “She only fights with people she likes.”

  Dean’s car pulls up outside of the bakery on Friday at noon. My week has been such a whirlwind that I haven’t had time to agonize over this weekend road trip. Now that he’s here, it’s too late to turn back.

  Monday after our alley chat, Dean and I both changed our Facebook statuses from single to in a relationship. We figured that’d be the easiest way to get the message out without having to text everyone individually. Dean forced me to kiss his cheek while he took a selfie. He posted it on his Instagram with hashtag bae—a bit over the top, but I had to laugh. He’s having way more fun with this than I am.

  Max was the first one we told in person. He laughed…hard. It was really unprofessional. Then Rachael came over and joined him, and the two of them proceeded to critique our horrible acting for the better part of the morning. Needless to say, Dean and I have some work to do to make this more believable when we’re in Aspen.

  When my mother saw my new relationship status, she texted and asked if my account had been hacked. When I told her no, it was real, she sent me several crying emojis. Jesus, Elaine. Dramatic much?

  And of course, Rachael has been sending me GIFs of someone sitting back and eating popcorn all week long.

  Probably the most challenging faking-it moment was when my mom’s book club showed up at the bakery on Wednesday. They all fired questions at me about how Dean and I met. That was the easy part because Dean and I decided to keep that story pretty honest. So, I told them he’d been coming into the bakery and asking me out for months, and I finally said yes. Easy peasy.

  The hard part was the fact that my mother was dead silent the entire time I chatted with all her friends. In fact, she’s been giving me the silent treatment all week.

  Why didn’t I come up with the idea of a fake boyfriend ages ago?

  Aside from that, it’s been okay. Dean’s the one with a more active social life, so this change of status must be affecting his day-to-day life more than mine. However, he hasn’t complained. He’s been coming into the bakery and working like everything is normal. He passed me a sweet note on a napkin over the counter that said I looked prettier than the croinut of the day. The cheeseball.

  Now, I’m leaving work early to go to Aspen for a lover’s getaway and to see if we can pull this off for a whole weekend. It all feels a bit dirty to be lying to Dean’s friends, but at the same time, it’s kind of exciting. This is the most scandalous thing I’ve done in years. Probably ever!

  Rachael walks over to where I’m standing at the register and elbows me in the ribs. “He drives a Range Rover.”

  “Don’t judge him too harshly for that,” I reply, unbuttoning my baker’s smock. “He’s made my mother stop speaking to me for five blissful days, so he deserves free croinuts for life.”

  “Don’t forget you’re doing him a favor too,” she says, side-eyeing me. “I don’t remember the last time you left the bakery early for a weekend.”

  “I know.” I groan and shake my head. “You sure you’re going to be okay without me?”

  “Zander and I got this!” She waves her hand. “You have business stuff to do anyway so it’s not like you were really going to be here.”

  She’s right. These days, I work upstairs in my apartment while Rachael runs the bakery. I’d be lost without her.

  Dean strides in looking crazy hot in gray shorts and a fitted dark Henley. His beard has grown out a bit since my parents’ party, and his dark hair flops over his forehead in an appealing way that makes me want to run my fingers through it.

  I exhale and pull off my smock, revealing the outfit Rachael laid out for me: frayed white denim shorts and a heather green tank that makes my boobs look giant. Luckily, she let me put an unbuttoned plaid shirt over it, so I don’t feel like I’m trying too hard.

  “Hey, sugar butt, you ready for a road trip?” Dean asks, sidling up to the counter and pulling his Ray-Bans off to reveal his brown-sugar eyes.

  Rachael barks out a laugh at his endearment that we argued about via text message all week. Dean said if he wasn’t allowed some pet names, he wasn’t going to look like a good boyfriend. I submitted when he told me it would drive my mother insane.

  Rachael points at Dean. “You better be good to her this weekend, Dean Moser. I know where you live.”

  “You do?” he asks, his brows lifting.

  She nods. “I got your address from Max…which means I can light your shit on fire if I hear you’ve done my girl dirty.”

  Dean’s face falls. “Jesus…arson threats? I think you skipped a couple of steps there, Rachael.”

  She pins him with a stern look, and he holds up his hands in surrender. “I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”

  I roll my suitcase around the counter to join him, and he walks over to take it from me. His eyes flash to my chest before swerving down to my bag. “Is this everything?”

  “I sure hope so,” I reply with a nervous grin. I was so busy trying to get some of my press stuff out of the way this morning that I had a packing emergency, and Rachael had to come rescue me. She ended up taking over, so I’m not entirely sure what she shoved in there. But she had t
he itinerary Dean sent over, so I hope she got everything.

  “Let’s get out of town then.”

  I grab the box of fresh croinuts I made for the weekend, and we load up quickly. Sliding into the passenger seat, I crack open my laptop and am already deep into my work before we leave Boulder city limits. I need to make good use of this drive if I’m going to screw off with Dean and his friends for a whole weekend. When is the last time I screwed off for a day, let alone a weekend?

  The drive is quiet for the first couple of hours as I make my way through my long to-do list that Max gave me. When I look up and pop out my earbuds, Dean is listening to a podcast about birthmarks. Definitely not yacht rock. This is an even stranger choice, but I’m drawn into it, despite the mountain of emails I still need to reply to.

  “This is so weird,” I state, finally succumbing to my interest.

  “I know. It’s awesome,” Dean replies, staring forward and listening intently with an awestruck look on his face.

  “Why do we care about this so much?”

  He shakes his head slowly. “I have no idea.”

  When we’re about an hour away from Aspen, I close my laptop to take in the mountainous view. We used to come here to ski a lot in the winter, so I’ve been on this drive a million times, but nothing compares to entire mountainsides covered with aspens changing colors in the fall. It’s impressive how I dream of living in Paris, but Colorado still manages to take my breath away even after all these years.

  “So, are you done working finally?” Dean asks, his hand draped casually over the top of the steering wheel as he glances at me curiously.

  I press my hands to the top of my laptop. “No, but I can catch up later.”

  “Good, because I think we need to revisit and revise some of your rules.” Dean glances at me and waggles his eyebrows in an ominous way.

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “Well, Kate and Lynsey are like sharks, and if they smell blood in the water, they will attack. So…we need to tweak those PDA restrictions you have. I need to be able to touch you freely if we’re going to sell this.”

 

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