by Iona Rose
Why the hell does everyone think I’m in love with Kimberley? I mean I know people say there’s a fine line between love and hate, but this is getting ridiculous now. I don’t even hate her. I just strongly dislike her. And Bernie doesn’t even know I have history with her. Is there something in the water at this firm or what?
I open my mouth to say something else and then I close it again. If I keep adding on more and more reasons why Bernie is miles out of left field, then she’ll start saying I’m protesting too much.
Bernie goes back out of my office and I move to the window. I take a moment to look out at the view of the city. This is our fucking city, our empire, and I won’t let Kimberley, or more likely the way she makes me feel, ruin it for me.
I hear my office door open and I know without turning around that it’s her. I smell her scent. Vanilla and something else beneath it. Something primal. I swallow hard and look at her reflection in the glass. She stands uncertainly between the now closed door and my desk. Good. I’m glad she’s fucking nervous. It makes me feel slightly better to know I’m not the only one who is way out of their comfort zone here.
I take a deep breath and turn around. I give her my corporate smile, the one I use to charm potential clients and investors. Not the one I use on people I like. Not my real smile.
“How are you Kimberley?” I say, stepping towards her and extending my hand.
She gives me a shy smile and slips her hand into mine. I feel it instantly. The same thing I felt when she touched my arm in the lobby yesterday. It’s like her hand is too hot and it sends fire through my whole body. The sort of fire that could consume me if I let it. But I won’t let it. I won’t even entertain the notion of it.
I shake her hand firmly and then drop my hand to my side, suddenly unsure of what the hell to do with it. It hangs limply for a moment and then I indicate the chair in front of my desk.
“Take a seat. Bernie’s grabbing us some coffee and then we can get started,” I say.
Kimberley sits down and crosses her legs and I can’t help but notice how her skirt creeps up an inch before she pulls it back down.
Why Kimberley, are you trying to seduce me? I shake my head and look away. Of course she isn’t trying to seduce me. I’m not really in a movie, and certainly not that one. She’s just getting herself comfortable.
I go around my desk and sit down in my chair. Bernie enters right on cue and I want to jump up and hug her for her perfect timing, but that would be weird all round so of course I don’t. Instead I thank her like a normal person and pick up my coffee. I take a sip which obviously burns my lip but I don’t show it. I put the cup back down and look at Kimberley again.
God why is this so fucking hard? I have zero issues making small talk normally, but how do you make small talk with someone you used to know without crossing the line from professional to personal?
“Are you ready to get started?” Kimberley asks.
She sounds confident, forceful even, but I think I detect a slight note of uncertainty in her voice. This is clearly as awkward for her as it is for me. Maybe even more so after my ridiculous performance in the lobby yesterday.
“Yup,” I say.
Yup. Not yes, or sure, or any of a hundred normal responses. I go for yup. Real smooth Sebastian.
I open my top drawer as Kimberley brings her briefcase up onto my desk and opens it. She pulls out a thick file and I pull out a matching one from my desk drawer. Kimberley puts her briefcase on the ground beside her feet, beside those fuck me heels she’s wearing, and slides the file over to me. I take it from her, nodding my thanks, being careful not to let my fingers brush against hers. I wonder if she felt the same fiery feeling as I did when we shook hands earlier. Probably not.
I push my file towards her and we both open the files at the same time and begin looking through them. The one she gives me is pretty standard and nothing jumps out at me as being wrong and no funds seem to be unaccounted for.
I am very much aware of Kimberley’s presence as she flicks through my file, tapping a red nail on the desk. Her tapping is something she’s always done when she’s concentrating and the memory brings up another wash of resentment that fills my throat like bile. I force myself to swallow it down. I promised myself I wasn’t going to screw this up. I won’t let Kimberley get to me.
“Where is …?” Kimberley starts.
I hold up one finger and cut her off mid-sentence. Why the hell did I do that? God I’m such a fucking douchebag when I’m not in control of a situation. I pretend to really focus hard on the figures in front of me for a moment and then I glance up.
She still has one perfectly in place eyebrow raised when I look up. I flash her a quick grin that I hope will ease the tension, but the look on her face tells me it didn’t work.
“Sorry,” I bark. “I just thought we should both go through everything and save any questions for the end.”
“Whatever Sebastian,” she says with a sigh.
I risk another glance up at her after a moment has passed. She’s back to focusing on the folder in front of her and I allow myself to relax a little bit again. The crisis has been averted. She hasn’t bolted for the door and ran to tell Matt she can’t possibly work with me. I can still pull this back.
I continue on with the file, forcing myself to lose myself in the numbers. They’re good. Very good. And it’s clear to me that Kimberley is very good at her job. There isn’t a single thing I can question in the figures. That’s probably a good thing. The less conversation we have to have, the less chance there is of me saying something stupid and blowing things up between us. The less time she is here in my office, the less chance there is of me reaching out and tucking the loose strand of her hair behind her ear and stroking her porcelain smooth looking cheek.
What? Why am I even considering doing that? I look back down at the file quickly, losing myself in the figures, a place of safety and very much my comfort zone.
I finish looking over the accounts and I quietly close the folder and take a sip of my coffee while I wait for Kimberley to finish up. Is she just being thorough or is she going to have a list of complaints that will be completely unfounded? I think of earlier when she tried to ask me something. It started with where is and then I cut her off. Where is what? There’s nothing missing from the file, of that I am certain, and if she starts making accusations of me hiding anything from her, then she’ll be out of the door. End of. Matt can moan all he likes but I don’t do business with people who accuse me of anything underhanded.
She finishes reading through the file and closes it. She looks up and nods her head.
“It all looks to be in order,” she says.
Did something she saw after speaking answer her question or has she actually found something and plans to use it against me later? I should let her. There’s nothing off in that file, I know it with a certainty that’s beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. I made damned sure everything was perfect for this. She will make herself look so stupid if she questions me in front of her boss and I shoot her down.
But that’s not how to start a good business relationship and I remind myself yet again that I promised myself I would do this right and treat Kimberley like any other potential associate. And if it was anyone else, I would give them the chance to ask their question privately.
“It is,” I say. “You were going to ask me something earlier though.”
“Oh. Yes,” she says. “I was going to ask you where the bathroom is.”
“Oh,” I say feeling like the biggest jerk in the world for making her wait until we’d finished going through the files to ask that. I point to the door behind me. “It’s back there. Or if you’re not comfortable using that one, there’s a ladies’ room by the elevator.”
“Thanks,” she says.
She gets up and heads for my private bathroom. I can’t help but watch the muscles in her calves move as she walks and the way her hips sway from side to side. She goes into the bathroom
and closes the door behind her. I pull my eyes away and run my hands over my face.
Ok this could be going better, but it could be going worse as well. Just tell her everything looks good at her end as well and then tell her you’ll be in touch. Keep cool, keep professional. It’s almost over.
Kimberley comes back out of the bathroom, interrupting my pep talk with myself. She sits back down.
“So do you have any questions or issues with our books?” she asks.
I shake my head and force another smile.
“No, it’s all good,” I say. “I’ll talk to Matt and Chance later on today and let them know we’re good to go on this end.”
“Perfect,” Kimberley says. “I’ll do the same with Joe and Gary.”
“Great. Say by five? Then I can give Joe a call and set up a meeting with him and Gary to get the ball rolling on the next stage of the negotiations.”
“Just Joe and Gary?” Kimberley says, raising that perfect little eyebrow again.
Actually, I meant the four of us, but the ice cold tone she uses when she thinks she’s been excluded gets under my skin again. Why didn’t she just clarify it without making it sound like an accusation? I really can’t be doing with having to keep dealing with her, and as CFO, her part in this really is over. The rest of the negotiations can take place with or without her, and if she’s going to be difficult, then without her works perfectly well for me.
“Well yeah. They’re the ones who make the decisions aren’t they? You’ve done your part Kimberley. Go back to the hotel and give yourself a pat on the back and have a spa day or something.”
Jeez what the actual fuck am I playing at? If someone had implied to me that my part in a deal was over because the numbers were done, I’d have hit the roof, yet here I am playing that card with Kimberley.
Kimberley stands up abruptly and scoops up the file off the desk. She bends down and picks up her briefcase but she doesn’t wait around to put the file inside of it. She heads for my office door without a word, and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from calling after her and apologising. I can’t apologise, because then she’ll know I’m being a dick to her on purpose, that this isn’t my usual way of handling this kind of deal. She’ll know she’s getting under my skin, and I can’t let her know that or she can play on it in future negotiations.
She reaches out for the door handle. Her hand is resting on it, then suddenly, it isn’t any more. She whirls back to face me, her face cloudy with barely concealed anger. She comes back towards me, a lioness closing in on her prey.
Chapter Eight
Kimberley
I am absolutely seething as I make my way out of Sebastian’s office. I don’t know who the fuck he thinks he is, but he doesn’t get to decide for Joe who does or doesn’t represent Benton’s in a meeting. What an absolute arrogant jerk he has turned into.
I wanted to say something, but I bit my tongue. I’m not going to get into a slanging match with Sebastian. He’s not worth the effort. Instead, I’ll feed back this information to Joe and make it known I want to be at that meeting. He won’t exclude me. Will he?
He might if he thinks bringing me along will be a deal breaker. Well fuck that. I’m not having Sebastian think he is somehow my boss. That won’t be the case after the merger, and it certainly isn’t the case now. How dare he try to cut me out of my own deal? Who exactly does he think he is?
I turn back to him before I leave the office. He’s watching me with the damned smirk on his face again.
I walk towards his desk, trying my best to bite back the anger I can feel. I don’t want this to turn into a he said she said style slanging match. I just want to make it clear to him that I will be in that meeting. I want him to think it’s going to happen either way and let him think he should just save himself the embarrassment of telling Joe to exclude me. Just in case Joe actually does it.
I reach the desk and bend slightly at the waist, flattening my palms on the desk to keep me from flapping my hands around as I tend to do when I get angry.
“What exactly is your problem Sebastian? Is it because I’m a woman? Or is it more personal than that?” I demand.
He gets to his feet, not wanting me looking down on him for this. I straighten up and stand tall, facing him, looking him directly in the eye. I force myself to keep my hands by my sides and keep them still. It takes everything I have not to ball them into fists, but if I do that, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from punching Sebastian in his smug mouth.
“I don’t have a problem. The finances are covered. What more is there to say?” Sebastian says. “You’re being ridiculous Kimberley.”
He sounds calm and I sound angry. Great. The hysterical woman cliché is always a treat. I force myself to calm down, counting to three in my head before I speak again.
“I’m being ridiculous?” I repeat with a bitter sounding laugh that I don’t like at all. “You’re the one being ridiculous. Not to mention childish. Honestly, it’s like trying to do business with a sulky teenager.”
“I …,” he starts, but I’m not finished and I don’t let him cut me off this time.
“Tell me honestly if at any time through your whole career you’ve tried to exclude the finance team from another company from a meeting,” I demand.
He doesn’t reply and he won’t meet my eye. He shuffles uncomfortably and gives an awkward shrug.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought,” I snap. “Now I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this isn’t because I’m a woman.”
He does look up then.
“Some of our best associates are women. Don’t even try to play the sexism card on me,” he says.
“Oh I’m not. I know this is personal. Are you really going to mess this merger up because of something that happened between us when we were just kids?” I say. I pause for a second and go on, some of the anger leaving my voice now. “Do you really still hold a grudge against me for wanting a career of my own? You of all people should understand being ambitious Sebastian. We used to talk about our futures all of the time. And when we did, we always talked about our careers. You knew I wanted more than being some part time shop assistant who lived off her husband.”
He looks up and meets my eye. He gives me a sad smile.
“Yeah. I remember. But I’m not the one who shattered the dream. I’m not the one who left,” he says.
He doesn’t sound bitter or angry. He sounds hurt. Am I imagining this, or is Sebastian still hurt because I left him? Is he acting out because I hurt him and he doesn’t know how to act around me?
Surely not. Surely after all of these years he’s over it. We were just kids. Kids with dreams and talk of the future. And when we talked of the future, we were always together in it. But things change. How many people actually stay with their childhood sweetheart?
I look into Sebastian’s eyes, searching for the answers, but the moment of vulnerability is gone and his eyes are as cold as ice as he looks back at me. Maybe I imagined it after all. Yes, that’s what happened. He’s just trying to manipulate me, to make me feel bad for him so I excuse his behaviour. And I almost fell for it.
“Look Sebastian, I have no idea what’s going on with you or why you’re being so hostile towards me, but listen up. It ends right here, right now. I’m as invested in this merger as Joe and Gary. Hell it was my damned proposal. So if you think you can push me aside because you think we’re done here, then you’re wrong.”
“I get it. It’s not nice to be pushed aside is it?” Sebastian says.
There’s no hurt in his voice this time. There’s not even anger. He’s back to that look and tone of amusement. He’s fucking taunting me, trying to make me bite. Well I’m not going to. I ignore his comment and go on.
“I’m going to be in that meeting Sebastian and you know it. Unless of course you want to explain to Joe that you think I should be excluded from it because I was mean to you in high school. I mean I don’t fancy your chances
of getting him to take you seriously with that one, but if you want to give it a shot, knock yourself out.”
I don’t wait for a reply or even a reaction. I just turn and walk out, slamming the door behind me.
“Is everything alright Ms Montgomery?” Sebastian’s secretary says as I breeze past her.
“Everything is just perfect,” I say.
I am barely out of sight of her desk when I hear Sebastian’s office door open. His secretary going in to make his booboo go away? Who knows, who cares. I just hope she can get him to act like a grown up for the rest of this merger which I am regretting more and more every damned day I am here.
Chapter Nine
Sebastian
The restaurant is too hot and stuffy. No it isn’t. The restaurant is perfect. Just I am too hot and I feel like I’m trapped in a cage with a wild animal. It’s the first time I’ve spoken to Kimberley since her low parting shot yesterday and quite frankly, she’s the last person I want to spend my Friday evening with. She did have a point though. It was never my call who Joe Benton wanted to bring to this meeting, and I would have needed a damned good reason if I insisted on him leaving Kimberley behind. As much as I hate her for what she said, she was right. The reason would have had to been a bit more sophisticated than saying I don’t like her because of something that happened when we were kids.
The starters are done and Sasha brings us our main courses, pausing for a moment to exchange pleasantries with me before fading back into the background.
“I have to say the food here is excellent,” Gary says as he tucks into his steak.
“So it should be. This place is Matt’s baby,” I explain.
“He owns it?” Gary asks.
“We own it. But the restaurant side of the business is Matt’s area. He’s always loved food and the social side of eating,” I say. “La Trattoria is our flagship restaurant.”
“Throw in a couple of free dinners at this place and it’s a done deal,” Joe laughs.
