Untangle My Heart: Book # 2 The Hunter Brothers

by Iona Rose

  I put my phone back In my pocket and get up. I can’t sit still, I’m too full of nervous energy again. It feels strange being here in Kimberley’s suite without her in it, but I tell myself it doesn’t matter. Once I convince her to stay, she’ll see the romantic side of me being here.

  I go to the kitchen area to grab a coffee while I wait, and that’s when I see it. A small white card, innocent looking but anything but innocent. I feel my heart lurch and my hand is shaking as I reach out and pick up the card.

  It’s an appointment card for a nearby family planning clinic. She’s already booked the appointment to abort out baby. How could she? I look at the date and time and horror fills me as I see today’s date. I glance at my watch. I have less than forty-five minutes to get to her and stop this.

  I’m back off and running to my car, my heart pounding painfully in my chest. Each pulsing beat seems to mock me. There’s no hope for Kimberley and I. She won’t come around. If she can do this to me, to us, kill our baby, then I know we’re never going to be able to work this out.

  I can’t get her back. I know that now. But hopefully, I can still stop her from killing our baby. I drive to the clinic on auto pilot, ignoring the beeping horns, the shouted abuse, as I cut people off and narrowly avoid smashing into the car in front of me as it pulls in to park. I don’t bother slowing down or gesturing angrily. What’s the point? It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters except saving my baby.

  I park in the clinic’s car park, my car on an angle even a learner driver would be ashamed of. I don’t care. I run into the clinic. I’m ready to demand Kimberley leave the clinic right now. I’ll tell her I’ll raise our baby alone if she really wants no part of this, and I’ll tell her exactly what I think of her for attempting to do this behind my back.

  I dash into the waiting room and feel a room full of eyes fall upon me. I barely notice them. I barely notice anything except Kimberley. She’s sitting alone in the corner of the room. Her eyes are the only eyes that don’t fall on me as I burst in. She’s looking down at the ground, and I can see small wet spots appearing on her lemon coloured skirt as tears drip unwiped from her chin. She looks smaller somehow.

  Looking at her like that, I know I won’t yell at her. Or demand anything. Seeing her in so much pain hurts me physically. I can’t make that pain worse. I won’t. My plan gone, I no longer know what to say, but I feel myself walking towards Kimberley anyway. As I sit down beside her, she finally looks up. She’s not wearing any make-up and she looks younger, more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen her. I reach out and wipe the tears from her cheeks.

  “Sebastian. What are you doing here?” she asks in a small voice. “How did you even know I’d be here?”

  “I went to your hotel room. The door was unlocked and I went in. I found your appointment card,” I say.

  She nods, not even angry that I invaded her privacy that way.

  “Kimberley listen to me,” I say. “I love you. Completely and fully. And I will be right by your side through all of this. Whatever you decide to do.”

  It hurts me to even think she might still choose to abort our baby, but I mean what I say. If she doesn’t feel like she can be a mother, then who the hell am I to force that life on her? It will hurt to know that our baby is gone but it will hurt more to lose Kimberley.

  She gives me a sad smile and I reach out and gently stroke her hair.

  “Just promise me you’ll stay here Kimberley,” I say.

  She looks down at her lap again and shakes her head.

  “I’m sorry Sebastian. I can’t do that,” she says.

  “Why not?” I demand. “You were up for us giving this a go. What changed?”

  Her head comes back up sharply and she looks at me like I’m crazy.

  “You really need to ask what changed? I got pregnant Sebastian. That’s what changed,” she says.

  “I know. And I know that was never part of your plan, but it doesn’t mean we have to be over,” I say.

  “Yes. It does. Because I’m not going to be one of those women,” she says.

  “One of what women?” I ask.

  I’m starting to get really frustrated now, but I force myself to bite it back and be patient with her.

  “One of those women who get pregnant and try to trap someone,” she says.

  “Ok, you’ve lost me. Why would you even think I would think that?”

  “Sebastian you wanted to take things slow. And the second you saw that pregnancy test on the sink you said you loved me and we could be a family. I don’t want you to feel like you have to pretend to feel something you don’t to keep me happy. And frankly, I don’t want to be with someone who is only pretending to love me because of some sense of honour or whatever. I get that I was just a fling to you – that’s why you wanted to take it slow. And I can make my peace with that. But I can’t make my peace with forcing you into something you don’t want.”

  “Kimberley listen to me,” I say, taking her hands in mine. “You’re not forcing me into anything or making me feel trapped. I wanted to take things slow because I didn’t want to let myself feel anything for you too quickly and get my heart ripped out again. But that didn’t work did it? I told you I loved because I do. And I was going to tell you that the moment you walked through the door that morning, but I was too late. Look if you don’t believe me, call Matt. I was on the phone to him before you got back and I told him I was in love with you, and I was afraid I would blurt it out and ruin things between us. He convinced me to just tell you how I feel.”

  “Really?” she asks, looking at me hopefully.

  “Really,” I confirm. “Kimberley I don’t think I ever stopped loving you, even when I wanted to more than anything.”

  “Kimberley Montgomery,” a nurse calls from the corridor opposite the waiting room.

  Kimberley stands up and it hits me suddenly that if I let her go in there, we lose our baby. I meant it when I said I would stand by her side whatever she chooses to do, but I can’t let her do this without at least trying to get her to reconsider. I can feel tears prickling at the corner of my eyes just at the thought of her going through with this. I jump up and catch up at her as she crosses the waiting room. I catch her wrist and turn her to face me.

  “Kimberley wait,” I say. “I meant it when I said I’ll be by your side whatever you choose to do. And I will. But please, at least take a few more days to think about this. I … please don’t get rid of our baby.”

  She laughs softly, tears running down her cheeks at the same time.

  “Sebastian I didn’t want you to feel trapped or like you owed me anything. That’s why I was leaving. But I’m not getting rid of the baby. This is just a routine check up.”

  “You … you’re not?” I say.

  She shakes her head.

  “No. I was in shock when I blurted that out. It’s funny because I always said I didn’t want children, but the second I found out I was pregnant, that changed. I felt a warm glow whenever I thought of the baby growing inside of me. And I knew I would never get rid of it.”

  “Ms Montgomery? Is everything ok?” the nurse asks, stepping closer to us, a look of concern on her face.

  I realise I’m still holding Kimberley’s wrist and I drop it from my grip. Kimberley smiles at the nurse through her tears.

  “Everything’s perfect,” she says.

  The nurse nods.

  “Right this way then please,” she says.

  She turns and walks away and Kimberley starts to follow her. I stand on the spot and Kimberley looks back. She takes my hand in hers and pulls me forward with her.

  “If you’re going to be here every step of the way, you might as well start with the first step,” she smiles.

  I swallow hard, trying to get the lump out of my throat. I’m not completely clear on what will happen next, but Kimberley is going to have our baby. And it sounds like there’s still hope for us.

  I follow her through to the examining room. The nurse
asks her a ton of questions and takes a urine sample and a sample of her blood. She smiles and says that she’ll be in touch with the test results and she tells Kimberley to make an appointment for four weeks’ time for her first scan.

  “Where’s your car parked?” I ask Kimberley as we leave the clinic.

  “I walked here,” she says.

  “You walked here? Is that a good idea in your condition?”

  She laughs.

  “Oh God, don’t turn into one of those types Sebastian. I’m pregnant not disabled.”

  “Sorry. This is just all kind of new to me,” I say.

  “And to me too,” she smiles.

  “Kimberley, can we talk?” I say.

  She nods and lets me lead her to my car. I open the passenger door for her and although she rolls her eyes, she gets in without commenting. I go around to the driver’s side and get in beside her.

  “I meant it Kimberley. When I told you I’m in love with you. I really want us to make a go of this. If you still want to go back to London, I understand, but I swore to you I wasn’t going to let you go without a fight this time, and I meant that too. So if you want to go, fine, but I’m coming with you.”

  Kimberley looks at me for a long moment, an expression on her face that I can’t read. The silence stretches out between us and I want to say something to break it, but I don’t know what to say. I’m starting to think Kimberley is going to say no. She’s going to go back to London without me and I’m going to be one of those dads that misses his kid’s first steps, first word. I’ll get to see him or her the odd weekend and at school holidays and that’ll be it.

  “Kimberley, say something,” I finally beg.

  My words seem to break her out of her silent thoughts. She still doesn’t say anything to me. She turns to face out of the front window of the car and she bends down and picks up her handbag. She pulls out her phone and scrolls through it.

  “What are you doing?” I demand.

  Is she seriously checking her emails in the middle of this? She holds up her hand and I am so shocked to see she’s making a phone call now, in the middle of our conversation, that I fall into silence as she holds the phone up to her ear. Her other hand picks at her leg, removing imaginary fluff from her skirt. She won’t look at me.

  “Joe? It’s Kimberley,” she says finally. “About the transfer. Is it too late to change my mind?”

  Warm relief floods my body at her words. She’s still talking but I only catch a word or two here and there. Words like maternity leave. Pregnant. Baby. Less hours. She ends the call and finally she turns to look at me. She smiles.

  “Does that answer your question?” she says.

  “Yes,” I say.

  My insides are on fire as I look at this beautiful woman who looks back at me with love shining in her eyes. Have we finally done it? Have we finally got past the old problems and learned to communicate in a fashion? I think we have.

  I lean forward and brush my lips against Kimberley’s.

  “I love you Sebastian,” she whispers.

  I kiss her with everything I have, using my kiss to show her how much she means to me, how I’ll never let her go again. She shifts closer to me, wrapping her arms around me. It’s kind of awkward hugging over the gear stick, but I hold her as tightly as I can, kissing her like I never want this moment to end. I can feel my cock responding to the closeness of Kimberley, but more than that, I can feel my heart responding to her.

  I finally break the kiss and we look into each other’s eyes. Kimberley is a little breathless and she smiles at me.

  “Wow. I should have told you that sooner if it makes you kiss me like that,” she smiles.

  “I’ll kiss you like that every damned day,” I say.

  Suddenly, something occurs to me.

  “Wait. What did Joe say? Is it too late to cancel your transfer?”

  She laughs and shakes her head.

  “No. Joe never wanted me to leave here in the first place. He was only too happy to hear I’d changed my mind.”

  I grin, happier than I’ve ever been. I reach out and rub Kimberley’s belly gently. I lean in and kiss her again. My lips have barely touched hers when she pulls away from me quickly. I barely have time to wonder what’s going on before she spins in her chair and opens the door and retches. I hear vomit splattering on the ground. She wipes her mouth and pulls the door back shut, resting her head back against the seat.

  “Ok. Maybe I won’t kiss you like that again after all,” I say.

  She laughs softly.

  “It’s nothing personal. Just the baby letting me know he or she is awake,” she says.

  “Are you alright?” I ask.

  She nods, but she’s still a little pale.

  “Yeah. I’m alright. Will you drive me back to the hotel please?”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Sebastian

  I reach across Kimberley and open the glove compartment of my car. I pull out a bottle of water and hand it to Kimberley. She smiles gratefully and takes the bottle. She opens it and takes a big mouthful, swills it around her mouth and opens the door again and spits it on the ground. She closes the door and opens the window half way down and then she sips the water, before she puts her head back against the seat and closes her eyes.

  “Actually, there’s something I wanted to show you. Are you up for it?” I ask.

  Kimberley opens her eyes and looks across at me. I know she’s going to say no and I try to swallow down my disappointment. I have to do what’s right by her and if she doesn’t feel up to this, then I will take her back to the hotel and we can go another time. But I so want her to see it. She’s still looking at me and I think she can see the conflict on my face. Excitement at what I’m going to show her and disappointment that I’ll have to postpone it.

  “Sure,” she says.

  “Are you sure? Because if you don’t feel up to it, we can go another time,” I say.

  She gives a soft laugh.

  “I say yes and you try to talk me out of it?” she says. “Jeez Sebastian, learn when to shut up.”

  She’s laughing as she says it and I do a quick salute and turn the engine on.

  “Point taken,” I say.

  I pull out of the car park and start to drive.

  “Like I said, I’m pregnant, not disabled, and I guess I had better start practicing what I preach,” she says.

  “Do you still feel sick like?” I ask.

  She nods.

  “I pretty much always feel sick. That’s why I did the test. I was so sure I couldn’t be pregnant with being on the pill and all, but I wanted to rule it out before I went to the doctor. The nurse said I’ll feel better after my first trimester though.”

  “And that’s when? Twelve weeks?” I say.

  “Yeah. The end of week twelve,” she smiles. “How did you know that?”

  “Lucky guess,” I grin.

  “Rubbish. I didn’t even think you’d know what a trimester way,” she says.

  “You’re probably going to think this is weird, but I’ve been doing a bit of research. I read some books on pregnancy and what to expect. I figured if I could show you I was prepared for this then you wouldn’t … well you know.”

  She sits up straight and looks at me. I glance at her out of the corner of my eye.

  “Seb I never should have even said I was going to get rid of the baby. I lied to you in there when I said it blurted it out because I was in shock. I mean I was in shock, but that’s not why I said it. I was so sure you’d run a mile when you found out, and I didn’t want you to think I was going to have the baby and you’d have to be a dad when you didn’t want to be.”

  “Do you even know me at all?” I laugh. “I love the idea of being a dad Kimberley. I just didn’t think it would ever happen because you were always so against the idea of having kids, and I guess I made my peace with it. I obviously did a good job of making it seem like I didn’t want to be a dad though.”

  “Yo
u did. But if we’re going to make this work, then you have to stop doing that,” she replies.

  “Well yeah obviously I’m not going to pretend I don’t want kids once we have one,” I say.

  “That’s not what I mean. I mean you have to stop lying to me about what you really want because you’re scared I won’t like the answer and you’ll lose me.”

  I pause for a second. She’s right and I know it. I was so afraid of her rejecting me when we were kids that I never really tried to get her to stay. And I have been so afraid of losing her since she came back into my life that I’ve been walking on egg shells instead of just telling her how I feel. Well that stops now.

  “You’re right,” I say. “I promise that from here on in, I’ll tell you the truth, even if I think you won’t like it. But I need something from you in return.”

  She nods for me to go on.

  “I don’t feel like I can be open with you because whenever you think we’re going to have a problem or you feel hurt, you push me away and you run from me. I need you to promise me that ends now. That if you’re feeling scared or overwhelmed or hurt that you’ll come to me and we’ll talk,” I say.

  “It’s hard for me to let my guard down and let anyone in,” she says.

  “No shit,” I grin.

  She gives a soft laugh.

  “You think any of this came easily to me?” I ask.

  She shakes her head and smiles.

  “No. We’re a real pair of fucking screw ups aren’t we? I can’t promise to be perfect Sebastian, but I can promise you I’ll try. Can you live with that?”

  I nod my head.

  “Yeah. How about we both try and learn together that maybe it’s ok to let someone in?”

  “I like the sound of that,” she smiles.

  We fall back into silence. I keep sneaking glances at Kimberley as I drive. The colour is mostly back in her cheeks. Her skin looks healthy, glowing.

  “So, where are we going?” she asks.

  “It’s a surprise,” I say.

  “Oh God, why does that make me nervous?” she laughs.