by Mary Tribbey
Chapter 12
Mandy was badly shaken, but, by the time she got back to the barn, she had forced herself to appear calm. “This situation with Jason is totally out of control. With everything else going on, I know I can’t deal with this alone. There is no one on the ranch that I can tell. How much more can they handle?” she thought. “I have to get this situation on record. I guess I’m going to have to talk to the Sheriff sooner than I thought I would. I hope he still remembers my dad. Dad worked with him for three years as a deputy, but that was years ago. Maybe he’ll really listen to me and help me. I can’t handle all this alone anymore.”
When Mandy got home, she took care of Thunder. She rushed into her house, grabbed a quick shower, dressed and drove over to the County Sheriff’s Station near Ventana. After waiting for a few minutes, she was escorted into Sheriff Larson’s office.
Mandy sat in the chair across the desk from Sheriff Larson. He introduced himself and asked with a polite smile, “What can I do for you today?”
Mandy smiled and said, “I knew you many years ago. You haven’t changed very much. I would have recognized you anywhere. I doubt if you’d remember me, since I was only about eight the last time I saw you. My name is Mandy Turner now. I’m married to Buddy Turner, now, but you knew me as Wayne Dalton’s little tag-along daughter, Amanda.”
“You’re right, I wouldn’t have recognized you. Wow! You’ve really changed since the last time I saw you, but I do remember you and your dad! He was a wonderful man, a great deputy, and a true friend. I was so sorry to hear about his death,” Sheriff Larson said.
“Thanks,” Mandy said. “He was a great dad, too.”
“I don’t imagine you are here just to talk about old times. How can I help you?” he asked with a friendly smile.
Mandy briefly told him about her marriage to Buddy and his accident. “This may sound like a strange question, but have any ranchers reported missing some cattle lately?” she asked.
“Not that I’ve heard. Why do you ask?” he said.
“I noticed some strange things on our ranch recently, and I believe we may have had cattle stolen from our ranch in the last month or so. With Buddy hurt and his parents so stressed, I decided to come and talk to you before mentioning it to them,” Mandy admitted. “I think we are missing about one hundred head of cattle. I’m pretty sure I know where and how they are being taken. I think I know who’s responsible, but I don’t have any proof yet. Do you have time to ride out to our ranch? I’d like to get your thoughts on what I’ve found,” Mandy asked.
“For you and for that kind of problem, I’ll make time. Let me get one of my deputies, and we’ll take a ride. You said you think you know who’s doing it. Who is it?” he asked.
“Because of past problems with this guy, this cattle theft may not involve any other ranches; it may just be directed against our ranch. Since I returned to Carmelita, I’ve had 3-4 unpleasant run-ins with Jason Burton. He and Buddy don’t get along. Since I married Buddy, and now, even more since Buddy’s accident, he’s been following me around, threatening me making lewd suggestions. Earlier this morning, he physically grabbed me and tried to rape me. Thanks to my dad’s training when I was little, I managed to get away. I’ve seen him snooping around our ranch in the middle of the night where he has no business being. I’m thinking this may be partially personal because of his anger toward Buddy and me.”
“About today’s attack, do you have any evidence?” he asked.
“Not really, except for bruises on my cheek and upper arms. I was alone repairing a broken stretch of fence a mile or so from the ranch house, so there were no witnesses. He said he’d done this before and always got away with it. He doesn’t think laws apply to him.”
“We’ve had other complaints about him before, but, thanks to his dad’s money and influence, we haven’t been able to get him convicted or even arrested,” Sheriff Larson said. “I believed the girls’ stories, but there wasn’t enough evidence to prosecute. I’d love to get that louse put away.”
“I know he bragged today that he had done this before. He told me that no one will believe a ‘poor nobody’ like me against him and his daddy. That’s why I want to be sure we get enough evidence to put him put away for a long time so I can get him out of my life!” Mandy said angrily.
“That would suit me fine, too. I’ll be glad to help you any way that I can,” he answered.
“There is something else I need to ask about,” Mandy added. “I need to find out if my permit to carry a concealed handgun from Montana would be legal in this state. I had permits to carry weapons, including concealed handguns, but I wasn’t sure if I would need to get local permits. I was really lucky to get away from Jason this time, but I’m sure he’ll be more determined and better prepared next time. As long as that skunk is prowling around me or my family’s ranch, I want to carry protection. I didn’t bring my guns with me when I left Montana. I sold them to the lawyer who helped settle the estate. What do I need to do to purchase and carry firearms here legally as soon as possible?”
“As a permanent resident in this state, your Montana permits would not be good here. Normally there’s a ten day waiting period to purchase a gun. To carry concealed weapons, you also need to pass a test to show competency to shoot and handle guns. Because of the special circumstances you’ve just told me about, I’m sure we can speed up the process,” he said. He pulled a stack of forms out of the filing cabinet. When his deputy arrived, they got into an unmarked sheriff’s department car and headed out to the ranch. When they got near the ranch, Mandy directed them to drive down the back road to the loading chute area.
The men got out and looked around the area. They noticed the clearly visible tire tracks, hoof prints from 2-3 different horses, and hoof prints from a large group of cattle. Mandy explained that it had been several months since they had shipped any cattle out for sale. She also told them about Robert’s count being short by about 100 head of cattle. After talking a couple of minutes, the men agreed that the tracks were obviously less than three weeks old based on recent storms. Mandy then showed them the two places where she had seen Jason snooping around. Adding all the facts together, they agreed with Mandy that it appeared that someone was stealing their cattle, and Jason was probably involved in the theft.
On the way back to the sheriff’s office, they stopped at the Sheriff’s shooting range. The deputy had been asking questions and filling in the permit forms while they travelled. By the time they entered the shooting range parking lot, the permit forms were completed. Mandy signed the forms, and they signed as witnesses. The sheriff asked the supervisor of the range to give Mandy the standard test for carrying a gun. Since Mandy didn’t have a gun, Sheriff Larson loaned her his gun to use. First she had to demonstrate how to load, unload, handle, carry, clean and store weapons. Having been around guns since a young child, Mandy easily passed that part of the test.
Next, they went out to the shooting range. The examiner explained that she would be required to fire twenty shots at two targets at different distances. To pass the test, she would need to score at least sixteen shots inside the inner two target rings.
Mandy looked carefully at the sheriff’s gun and asked, “Does this gun aim a little off to the right?”
The Sheriff laughed, “Yes, that’s very observant of you.”
Mandy steadied herself, spread her feet shoulder width apart, and took careful aim. She fired the first shot and asked how it scored. She adjusted her aim and fired again. She was inside the center ring of the target. Then she fired eight more bullets in quick succession. The next target was about ten yards farther away. She repeated the process and completed the test. When the supervisor brought the targets up, he showed there were eight clearly in the smallest center target zone and ten in the second ring. The other two were clearly in the next larger target circle.
“That’s really fine shoot
ing. That’s better than some of your deputies,” he said with a smile. “Sheriff, maybe you ought to offer her a job.”
The men laughed, but Mandy said, “No thanks. I don’t want a job, just a permit!”
On the way to the Sheriff’s office, Sheriff Larson said, “It’s possible for me to authorize a gun purchase without the waiting period if there are extenuating circumstances. I think this situation with the rustlers and the threats from Jason would easily qualify you for an early purchase. I’ve filled out and signed the release form. When we get back to my office, my clerk will notarize it. Then you can go and buy your gun. To keep this more confidential, I’d suggest you buy the gun here in Ventana at the Westin Gun Center, instead of at the local store in Loomis,” he advised.
Mandy shook hands with the Sheriff and his deputy and thanked them for all of their help. “I have hired Max Brown, a senior at the Ag Center, to secretly camp out by the loading dock at night. If he sees the truck pull into the loading area, he will call me on my cell phone. Would it be all right if I call you so, hopefully, you can arrive while they are still there, and we can catch them in the act. To make sure we have enough proof that cattle theft is the reason for their being there, wait until you see a bright flash of light. That signal will mean they have loaded some of our cattle on their truck. Then you can rush in and arrest them.”
“That sounds like a good plan. We’ll be waiting for your call. I hope we can catch those rats before they can steal more cattle from you or anyone else. Just be careful, Mandy. They can be very dangerous if they find out you are suspicious,” Sheriff Larson cautioned.
“I understand that only too well. I’ll be very careful and will let you know if anything else happens,” Mandy said before getting into her old car and driving away
Mandy patted her shirt pocket as she drove out of the Sheriff’s parking lot. Knowing she had Sheriff Larson and Deputy Blake’s private emergency cell phone numbers gave her a sense of confidence. Not only did they believe her story, they thought her plan was so well thought out that they agreed to follow the plan to sneak up to the truck and wait for the signal.
Mandy left the sheriff’s complex and drove directly to the gun shop that was located in a large strip mall in Ventana. The store was large and nearly empty. Cautiously, Mandy looked around. There were only two other people, a middle aged man and woman, looking at hunting rifles. Mandy saw a salesman about Robert’s age standing behind the glass case near the cash register. She went over and began looking at the guns in a large glass case. The salesman came over and asked, "What can I help you with today?”
Mandy answered, “I want to buy two guns, a holster and two boxes of bullets for each.”
“Did you know that there is a ten day waiting period for gun purchases in this state?” he asked.
“Yes, but I have a written waiver from Sheriff Larson because I need to purchase them sooner than that,” she responded. “I have all the necessary papers and permits right here.”
“Then you’re all set. Do you know what you want to buy?” he asked.
Mandy pointed to three guns in the first case. When he brought them out, she carefully examined them. She held each one in turn in her hand, feeling their weight and how well they fit her grip. She asked questions and thoughtfully compared the guns before choosing a small 9 mm revolver. “I like the size and feel of this one,” she said. Next she moved to a case that held larger caliber weapons. She chose four different guns to examine. Again, she carefully checked their feel and examined them thoroughly. “This is like the gun I used to shoot with my father. This should serve my purpose. I’ll take both of these guns. Now I’d like two boxes of ammunition and holsters for each.” After she made her purchases, she locked the guns in the trunk of her car and headed to the hospital.
Mandy pulled into the parking lot at the Regional Medical Center. She parked and walked quickly into the hospital entrance. She checked to see if Buddy was still in the same room after his surgery. She took the elevator to the fifth floor and walked along the hallway until she found Room 505. Mandy quietly walked inside the room. She barely recognized Buddy lying in the hospital bed. He had tubes and IV’s fastened to his body. His face was very pale, bruised, and badly swollen. She looked down at the outline of the stiff, bulky looking body cast that surrounded him from his shoulders to his hips. He had an oxygen mask covering his nose area.
Mandy slid a chair over to his bedside. She gently touched his hand. She leaned over and carefully kissed his parched looking lips. She sat down and silently prayed that he would completely recover soon.
When a nurse came in later, she asked, “How is he doing today?”
“So far, so good. His vital signs are steady, and he doesn’t have a fever. The danger of infection is always high after extensive surgery like he had when he was first admitted,” she answered quietly. “Since he is still under sedation, you’d probably be more comfortable in the waiting room.”
“May I please just stay here with him? I promise, I won’t get in the way. I just want to be here when he wakes up,” Mandy said.
“Of course. Just ring the bell if you see any change,” she added.
Mandy called Robert and Madge and told them that Buddy was still asleep. “He seems to be doing all right considering the extent of his injuries. He’s still asleep so there is no hurry to get down here. I’m going to stay here and wait in case he wakes up. I’ll call you if there is any change,” she promised.
Madge said, “Thanks. We’ll come over after supper, or sooner if you need us there.”
“I’m fine. Try to get some rest. If you are like me, I had trouble getting to sleep. The house seemed so empty, and I didn’t fall asleep until very late. There’s no rush. He is still being sedated,” Mandy assured them.
Except for using the rest room or going to get a cup of coffee from the cafeteria, Mandy hovered by his bedside. She watched him sleep, longing for him to open his eyes. She looked at his body cast and realized how hard being confined to bed in it was going to be on him. He was always active and rarely ever just sat around. She remembered Dr. Owens pessimistic words about his possible paralysis. She dreaded his reaction when he heard how serious and permanent his injuries might be. She was afraid the thought of paralysis would be too much for him to cope with. Her heart ached when she thought about the long days of confinement he would have to endure before they would know whether he would be able to walk again.
About six o’clock, Dr. Owens entered the room. He scanned the chart, looked at the readings on the monitors, and made a few notes. “How is he doing today?” Mandy asked.
“He seems to be doing fine. We started cutting back on his sedation this morning. We are hoping he will wake up by this evening. The CT scan today shows the bleeding in his brain has stopped. In the next few days, his body should re-absorb it. That’s very good news. His heart is strong and steady. So far he is still stable. In a way, being completely sedated is the ideal state for this type of injury. This will be a long, uncomfortable convalescence for him, but we want him to wake up enough so we can assess his mental function and nervous system. After that exam, we can adjust the pain medication to help him be more comfortable. In the meantime, all we can do is wait.”
Mandy continued sitting by his side gently stroking his hand and talking quietly to him. She stopped when she heard a low moaning sound. She signaled the nurse. When the nurse came to check his monitors, she said, “It looks like he’s in some pain now, and he is trying to wake up. As soon as he does, let me know.”
Mandy got a small towel and wet it. She gently wiped his face. She bent down and lightly kissed his lips. She whispered to him, “I’m here, Buddy. I love you. You’re going to be all right.” She heard the low moan again. She noticed his eyelids were twitching. She called his name, “Buddy, please open your eyes.” His eyes twitched again and then slowly opened. Mandy stood up so
he could see her face better. His eyelids closed then opened again. This time, they seemed to focus in on her.
She rang for the nurse. While she waited, she said, “Buddy, I’m so glad you’re awake now. You had a bad accident, and you’re in the hospital. Don’t try to move. We’ll get through this together. You’ll be okay,” she reassured him.
The nurse came in again, checked the monitors, and hurried out. A few minutes later, Dr. Owens rushed in and began assessing Buddy’s mental condition. He looked into his eyes, checking his pupil’s reaction to light. He asked Buddy some questions. Buddy was very confused. He wasn’t sure where he was, and he didn’t remember what had happened to him. The doctor checked to see if he understood and could follow simple instructions. He could hold up three fingers, say his name, and grip the doctor’s hand. He could feel some sensation when the doctor scraped the bottom of his right foot, but he didn’t seem to feel anything else below the hip level. When asked where he was hurting, Buddy answered, “My back and my head.” The doctor wrote further notes in the chart for stronger pain medication to keep him comfortable. Then he left.
About an hour later, Robert and Madge walked into the room. Seeing that Buddy was awake, Madge hurried over and gave him a kiss on his forehead. Robert came over and smiled down at Buddy. “You really took a tumble, Son. It’s good to see you awake. You’ve been asleep nearly two days. How do you feel?”
Buddy was still groggy, but he answered, “I feel weird. I feel like I’m tied down and can’t move. I’m aching in places I didn’t know could ache. I want to sit up or turn over, but I can’t. What happened to me?”
Robert explained, “We were out counting the cattle when that crazy old bull took off. You spurred Buck and raced to catch him. He spun and charged at you and Buck. Buck jumped and spun out of the way. You lost your balance and you flew off! You twisted in the air and landed very hard. You have some broken bones, bruises, and a concussion. You’ve already had surgery on your back. In a few days, you’ll go back in to have your broken femur and hip repaired. The reason you can’t move is they had to put you in a full body cast. You just need to rest and get well.”
Mandy felt relieved that Robert had not mentioned the possibility of paralysis. There was no use worrying him about that possibility now. Once he was better and they knew more, they would tell him. Until then, they agreed to keep the pessimistic prognosis to themselves.
Mandy gently stroked his head. “Is there anything you want or need? Are you having a lot of pain? They can give you more pain medication?” she said.
“Not right now. I hurt, but not too much. I can’t think of anything I need now, except you and to go home. Dad, how are we going to get along with me laid up like this? You know this is a very busy time on the ranch. You can’t do all the work by yourself,” Buddy said.
“Don’t worry about that, Buddy! Mandy saved the day. She got a young man from the college to help us out part time. Between him and the family, we can get along until you are well.”
“What’s he like?” Buddy asked.
“Bill is a junior. He was raised on a ranch so he is familiar with ranch work. He seems like a hard worker. He put in several hours hard work this morning. I’m impressed with the way he works and thinks thing through. I think we’ll be fine with his help. I think you’d like him. Another great thing is he is earning job experience credit at college so we don’t have to pay for his help. Don’t worry about the ranch. Your job right now is to rest and get well,”
After Robert and Madge left for home, Mandy asked, “Are you having more pain? Would you like a drink or anything else?”
“I’m hurting more now. I think I’ll need some more pain medicine so I can sleep. A drink of water would be good, too,” Buddy answered. Mandy told the nurse, and she added more pain medication to his IV. Mandy got a glass of cold water and a straw. With Buddy flat on his back in the cast, Mandy found she couldn’t give him a drink with a straw without spilling most of the water on his chest. She found a spoon and began ladling the water into his mouth until he was satisfied.
Buddy watched her as she moved around the room and said sadly, “I sure messed things up. I’m sorry, honey. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Don’t apologize or feel guilty about this. It was an accident. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just concentrate on getting well. I’m just so happy that you are awake and talking to me. When you hit the ground so hard, I was terrified that you were dead. You are alive! That’s all that is important. With God’s help, we’ll get through this together,” Mandy reassured him. When Mandy was getting ready to leave for the night, she leaned over to kiss him. Buddy noticed a small bruised spot near her chin.
“What happened to your chin? Did you get hurt, too?” he asked.
Mandy hesitated unsure what to say for a moment, then she answered the way she had in Montana, “Oh, I slipped and bumped into something. Sometimes when I get in a hurry, I move too fast and bump into things.”
“Please, be careful, honey. You know I don’t ever want you to get hurt,” Buddy said.
“I will be more careful,” she promised truthfully as she thought about Jason and the rustlers. Buddy insisted that Mandy go home because it was after nine o’clock. She kissed him tenderly and drove home. After she parked near her house, she carried the guns inside. She put the large gun in the closet and loaded the 9 mm gun. She slipped it in her jacket pocket. The feel of its weight gave her a sense of safety.
When Mandy washed her face, she noticed the bruise on her chin. It reminded her of Jason’s arrogant boasting and his cowardly behavior. She remembered with horror the feel of his hands and the nearness of his mouth. She felt guilty about lying to Buddy and for keeping secrets from Robert and Madge. “I hope they will understand and forgive my lying when the truth finally comes out. Please, God, put a hedge of protection around me and Buddy, and all of my family. Protect me from Jason, but most important, please heal Buddy’s body and bring him home strong and well,” she prayed fervently.
At 10 pm, she hurried to the corral next to the barn and looked around. In a few minutes, she saw a movement in the dark shadows behind the barn. She put her hand on her gun as she watched a tall figure moving towards her.
With a sigh of relief, she recognized Max. He approached her leading his black mare. He was dressed in black clothes, and she saw he was wearing a gun.
“I’m glad to see you got here all right, Max. I talked to the sheriff and he is aware of the problem. I don’t want you taking any chances, but I’m glad to see you are armed. I don’t want you to get hurt, but these guys can be dangerous. Here is a cell phone in case you see anything. No matter what time, call me. I programmed my number in your contact list. Don’t try to be a hero. When you call me, I will contact Sheriff Larson, and he and his deputies will come and make the arrest,” Mandy said.
“I promise I won’t be a ‘hero’, but I didn’t want to be a sitting duck either. I’ll keep watch and report anything I see or hear to you. You look exhausted. Go on inside and get some rest. I’ll take care of things out here for you,” Max said.
“Thanks again for helping. Now that I know you are watching the ranch at night, I can relax and sleep better. Be careful. I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” Mandy said as he mounted and rode quietly out into the darkness of the night.
Early the next morning, Mandy drove to the hospital so she could see Buddy before he went into the operating room to get his hip relocated and his femur repaired. Buddy was already groggy from the anesthesia when she walked into his room. He smiled and watched her walk over to his bed. She kissed him tenderly. “I wanted to see you before your surgery. I’ll be here in the waiting room praying for you all during the surgery. The ladies group at church is having a special prayer meeting this morning to pray for your quick recovery. I know your mom and dad will be praying, too. Many people are prayi
ng for you. I’ll see when you get into the recovery room. I love you, Buddy,” she said with a quick kiss as he was being wheeled out.
While Mandy sat in the Waiting Room, Pastor Martin walked in and sat beside her. He took her hand and quietly prayed with her for God to bless and lead the surgeon’s hands and for Buddy to recover completely. He waited with her for a while. Mandy thanked him for coming and assured him she would be fine waiting alone. He squeezed her hand and left. The surgery took two hours longer than anticipated because the surgeons had to be so careful to not disturb the recent spinal repair. The body cast also made replacing the hip into its socket a much more difficult procedure.
After working on the dislocated hip, the orthopedic surgeon inserted a metal rod into his broken femur and secured it with metal screws. When the surgeons came out, they told Mandy that everything seemed to have gone very well.
When Buddy opened his eyes in the recovery room, the first thing he saw was Mandy smiling down at him. “The doctors said everything went very well. It will take time to heal, but you are one huge step closer to getting well.”
By the end of a week after Buddy’s accident, Mandy had established a daily routine. She got up early, had breakfast with the family, and helped with morning chores wherever she was most needed. Then she hurried inside her house, cleaned up, and drove to the hospital to help feed Buddy his lunch tray. Because of the body cast, he could not cut the food or feed himself. After lunch, Mandy sat beside Buddy. She read to him, talked with him, played music he liked on a small CD player she brought from home, or she sat quietly and held his hand. She tried to entertain him to help him pass the long, tedious hours of his enforced confinement.
When the afternoon supper tray was delivered, she fed him his dinner. Next she helped him get ready to sleep. Because she saw how much it embarrassed him to need help doing such personal things, she took over the job of washing his face, hands, and body. The nurses showed her how to change his colostomy bag and replace his catheter. She took over those tasks under their supervision. She finished by giving him a light sponge bath. The last thing she always did was to give him a drink, adjust his pillow and bedding and kiss him good night.
Most nights he seemed so sad to see her leave, she wished she could stay with him all night. She hated not having him at home with her. Finally, she drove home and parked by her house.
The last thing before getting into bed, she walked to the barn to meet with Max before he rode out to watch the loading dock. They talked briefly, exchanging anything he had observed. Two times Max reported he had seen the black pickup, but there had been no sign of a cattle truck. After that, Mandy went to her house and climbed in bed exhausted.
At the end of the third week in the hospital, Buddy went for another CT scan of his back and hip. Before Mandy arrived that day, Dr. Owen came in after he had examined the results of the scan and x-rays. He sat down by Buddy’s bed and began talking to him. “It looks like your back is healing normally. You have no fever or sign of infection in that area. You appear to be doing even better than we expected, but it is still much too soon to know if there has been permanent damage to your spinal cord. After your body heals more, and we remove the body cast, we can begin assessing whether you’ll be able to walk again,” he explained.
“What do you mean?” Buddy asked quickly.
“In your fall, you damaged your spine and fractured the first three lumbar vertebrae. We operated the first time to stabilize that area to try to protect the spinal cord from further injury, but we can’t determine with CT scans or other tests if the spinal cord was just bruised, crushed, or severed. If it is just bruised, you have a good chance of walking normally. If it is partially crushed, it may have interrupted or interfered with some nerve connections, and you may have limited standing and walking. If the cord has been severed, you will be permanently paralyzed from the waist down and you will never be able to stand or walk. Only time will tell how your body will react to this injury,” Dr. Owens explained.
The news stunned Buddy and he began shutting down in shock. About an hour later, Mandy walked into Buddy’s room. Buddy glanced at her then turned his head and looked at the TV set.
“How are you feeling today?” she asked cheerfully.
Buddy ignored her question. “Dr. Owens was here to see me today. He told me I may never be able to walk again. I may be paralyzed from the waist down. Did you know about that?” he asked.
“He told us the first day that it might happen,” Mandy answered quietly.
“When were you going to tell me? Why didn’t you tell me about this?” he snapped.
“We didn’t want you to be upset and worry about something that may never happen. Your parents and I wanted to wait until later to tell you if and when it happened. We are praying and believing that God will heal you, and you’ll be fine,” Mandy answered slowly.
“Do you think I’m a baby or a child that has to be protected? Do you think I am so stupid or weak that I won’t understand or be able to face the truth? How can I trust you when you hide things from me? What else aren’t you telling me?” he lashed out angrily.
“We didn’t think any of those things. We were doing what we thought was best for your recovery. We were afraid you’d be upset, and it would keep you from resting and healing as fast. We don’t think you’re a child, stupid or weak. We didn’t tell you because we love you,” Mandy responded.
“Don’t ever try to fool me or treat me like a baby or lie to me. I’m going to be a cripple--totally helpless and useless to Mom, Dad, and especially useless to you,” Buddy growled bitterly.
“Buddy, please calm down! I’m sorry you feel like that. Only God knows what will happen in the future. I know I don’t know the future, but I do know that I love you with all my heart! We all love you. We would never do anything intentionally to hurt you or upset you. I love you now; I always will. That’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I know there are things I haven’t told you about. I will in time. I hoped you would trust me and my love for you. Until that happens, all I can promise is to love you and to do what I think is best for you and for everyone who loves you. I’m doing the very best that I can to help you. I understand you feel hurt and why you are angry. I hope someday you will understand and forgive me. I love you so much my heart aches when I see you hurting like this.”
Mandy moved closer to Buddy’s side. When she bent down to kiss him, Buddy turned his face toward the wall. Mandy saw what he did, and she felt like she’d been slapped in the face. Her eyes filled with tears, and she turned away so he couldn’t see the pain in her eyes.
“I know you’re scared and upset. You are angry and worried. Just don’t give up on yourself or on us. We can get through this together. Just remember, we are married, and I love you with all my heart.” Mandy said in a strained, controlled voice. When Buddy remained silent, she grabbed her purse, and walked out of the room.
Mandy wandered down the hallway until she reached the cafeteria. She bought a cup of coffee and sat down by the window. She grabbed a handful of paper napkins and wiped the tears off her face. She slowly sipped the coffee and tried to forget the awful feeling of rejection when Buddy turned away from her and stared at the wall. She felt isolated and alone again.
Outside the sun was shining. Mandy sighed, took her coffee cup and walked out into the enclosed patio. She dumped the tepid coffee and walked along the pathway until she found a secluded cement bench surrounded by tall flowering oleander shrubs. She sank down on the bench, closed her eyes, and fought to keep the tears from pouring out. In spite of her determination, tears rolled down her cheeks, splashing like raindrops onto her blouse. Silently she began to pray and recite some Bible verses that came into her mind. “Let not your heart be troubled” Other verses came from her memory. She clung to them and gradually began to feel calmer. She felt the hurt and gloom inside her begin lifting like the
morning fog in the redwood forest along the California coast.
After a few more minutes, her tears dried up, and she felt calm enough to go back to face Buddy again. “Love is patient and forgiving. It doesn’t hold grudges or keep a record of wrongs” and other bits and pieces of 1 Corinthians 13 flashed into her mind.
Mandy walked into the restroom, scrubbed her face, repaired her makeup, and walked back to the cafeteria. She bought a cup of coffee for Buddy, added a little cream and sugar to it, and walked back to his room. She looked at her watch and was surprised to see it had been nearly two hours since she had walked out of his room.
She immediately noticed Buddy’s face was turned towards the doorway. Mandy walked in and said cheerfully, “I brought you some coffee fixed the way you like it. I thought you might enjoy having something hot to drink. It isn’t as good as Madge makes, but it is warm and refreshing.” She got a spoon from the drawer and walked over to his bed. He didn’t say anything, but when she began spooning it into his mouth, he drank it.
Mandy had to look away when she saw his eyes were red and tears had dried on his face. She put the coffee down, got a wet towel, and gently washed his face.
Buddy looked up at her and whispered brokenly, “I wasn’t sure if you were coming back. I’m sorry I lashed out at you. I was so shocked by what Dr. Owens told me. I’m scared, Mandy, more frightened than I have ever been in my life. I don’t know how I will survive if I am paralyzed. All I could think about was you and us. How can I live without you, but how can I let you stay and sacrifice your life taking care of a cripple? I can’t stand the thought of either. I’m sorry, honey. Can you forgive me?”
Mandy leaned over and stroked his hair, brushing it off his face. She leaned down and kissed his forehead, his cheeks, and his trembling lips. “Of course, I forgive you. I’m sorry you found this out in such a cold, shocking way. We were really trying to keep you from worrying. I think we refused to tell you, as if just saying it might make it come true. We are all praying, and we really believe that God will heal you. Please, don’t give up hope. Look how God brought us together. That was a miracle. I believe your total recovery will also be a miracle. Trust in God, Buddy, and don’t give up,” Mandy begged.
While Mandy sat by his bed, holding his hand in hers, she talked softly to him. “Buddy, no matter what happens, you are my husband, the one true love of my life, and I will never leave you. When we got married, I promised before God that I would be your wife in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer for the rest of my life. Buddy, you are stuck with me. I made that promise and I intend to keep it, because we are one now and forever.”
“But what if I can’t walk again? How could I ever be a real husband for you?” Buddy asked.
“Always remember this, Buddy. I didn’t fall in love with your legs. I love all of you--your smile, your gentle caring nature, your honesty, your funny sense of humor, and the delicious feel and taste of your lips when you kiss me. I refuse to let you push me away. My fervent prayer is that God will restore your health and strength, but not for my sake. I just want you to be happy and whole again. Until that happens, just trust in our love. It will see us through this and everything else,” Mandy whispered softly in his ear. Then she turned her face towards his mouth and kissed him tenderly.
A few minutes later, after a nurse brought in his dinner tray, Mandy carefully fed Buddy his supper. Mandy wasn’t sure what it was supposed to be. It looked awful, not like anything she or Madge would serve. “I wish Buddy was home with us. Good home cooking and less interruptions and somberness would be a much better place for him to heal,” Mandy thought, and a crazy idea formed in her brain. Mandy remained with him after dinner until he dozed off
When she left his room, Mandy told the nurse how upset Buddy had been after learning he might be paralyzed. The nurse promised to keep an eye on him.
“If he gets too upset, I have the doctor’s permission to give more pain medication. You need to go home and rest. You look exhausted. Now that he knows about possible paralysis, he’s going to need your strength and courage more than before. If you get too worn down, you won’t be able to help him as much,” she added.
On the drive home, Mandy kept remembering his words, “What else haven’t you told me? How can I trust you when you don’t tell me the truth?” Mandy thought about the growing list of things she had not been totally truthful about: her financial condition, her problem with Jason and his attempt to rape her, the cattle rustlers, the plan she had with the sheriff, buying guns, and about hiring two men from the college.
“How can I tell him about any of these things now when he is already so stressed and can’t do anything to help? I pray he and Robert and Madge will forgive me when this is finally over, and I can tell everyone the whole truth. Will they ever trust me or believe me again?” Mandy worried as she parked at her house.
