by Jon Chaisson
*
All is Light, my dearest.
The voice of a young man, someone she did not know, crept into her dreams and invaded the solace of her lumisha dea. No—not invading. Merely stopping by, saying hello. A friend. She hadn’t had visitors here in years, so she hadn’t expected to hear anyone here, ever. Who was it? It was a voice so desperately familiar, someone she’d known for a very long time. She knew this person well, but had forgotten him somehow. She risked a single thread of sensing, probing for the source.
She spoke quietly in her inner voice. Who are you?
I am a friend, dear, he answered. You called me Anando.
Something deep within caught at her heart at the sound of that name, and without expecting it, her sensing thread whipped around and stretched out in front of her. It knew where he was, who he was. Her spirit knew him, had known him for years. Decades. Lifetimes? Despite her natural wariness she followed the sensing thread, trusting it would bring her closer to him. Why are you here?
Anando let out a small, joyful laugh. If only you knew where you really were, he said. You've met me before, Caren. Here on Trisanda.
What?? A shiver ran through her body. Trisanda…the Meraladian homeworld? She couldn’t have been there, light years away! Impossible! She had no ability to enter Light at will, nor had anyone else in her family. She was safe and sound in her apartment, snoring away on the couch.
…or was she?
Open your eyes.
She felt warmth. Natural warmth, a sensation of sunlight on her skin. Curious, she opened her eyes.
And indeed, all was Light. Pure energy, warm and inviting, enveloping her entire body in a cocoon, protecting her, and illuminating everything around her in a crystal clarity she’d never witnessed before. And it was absolutely, heart-achingly beautiful. It was…
Home? She recognized this place, she was sure of it. She’d been here before, years, ages ago…lifetimes ago.
Anando, she whispered. Where am I?
She stood in a wide field of grass bordered by tall, narrow trees. The sun hung lazily in the afternoon sky, bringing out the vibrant colors of an autumn day. An extremely long wood table sat in the middle of this field, weighted down by plates and baskets of all kinds of meats, breads and vegetables, as well as bouquets of flowers and large, unlit candles. A hundred or so people surrounded the table, chatting and laughing excitedly. Something fantastic had happened, and they could not contain their glee. Though she couldn’t quite make out the words, she understood that they were all speaking of someone’s long-awaited return. Caren smiled despite herself; surely they weren’t excited by her presence?
Moving closer, she was startled by the fact that she recognized certain faces, those of people she was sure she didn’t know in reality. Two men were having a heated discussion, each one trying to convince the other that they knew this prodigal someone personally; in her mind, they were friends and coworkers of her father’s from when he was her age who loved to bicker at each other. Another man spoke in hushed tones to his beloved, promising her that he would introduce her to this someone, and she blushed and smiled at him; in her mind they were friends she’d known in school, a loving couple that had always been together. There were five siblings of varying ages, three boys and two girls, who were laughing and joking while they stuffed their face with the delicious food before them; in her mind, they were her younger sisters and brothers.
And yet on Earth, in real life, they did not exist.
She could not deny this sense of closeness, of relation to them. Their aura…their essence felt so familiar, so familial to her! Despite everything her mind told her, they were here, in front of her. She could hear them, see them…if she reached out, she could even feel them. She caught her breath — suddenly all made sense! This was not her lumisha dea at all, but truly another plane of existence. She really was on Trisanda! She’d found and recognized another family…her astral family, her spiritual kin. And at that very moment, those closest to her turned, saw her, and acknowledged her. Some waved, but mostly she felt ripples of emotion, of affection…a soulsensing of love.
For a brief moment, she felt this was her true home.
Anando, she whispered again. Am I…?
You are where you need to be, he answered. I am here with you, because it was time for you to see this. I’m here for you. Keep that in mind, Karinna.
She shivered…those words, they were so familiar to her. He’d spoken them tenderly and honestly, at some point in the past…in the deep past. Her heart skipped a beat, fully expecting his next words. A memory, hidden deep within, not in her mind but in her spirit, had been safely hidden away —
I will be your guide and your anchor, he said.
A stray tear left her eye and fell down to her quivering lips.
…allei aiya, Karinna.
And in that very moment, a veil had been lifted.
She felt another, stronger ripple of emotion, a deep, unconditional love, stronger than anything she’d ever felt in her life. An energy within her soul that reached far past any emotional connection she’d ever had. It went beyond logic and reason, it went to the very heart of her being. This was her higher self. It was her Mendaihu self — no, it was higher than that…much higher in her spiritual consciousness than that. It was her Trisandi self. Her ancestral soul. Anando was…Goddess…he’s my…she gasped. Here, on Trisanda…he was her cho-shadhisi, her soul mate! Her heart raced at the realization, and she shivered with both excitement and awe. From the deepest confines of her own soul, she knew this to be absolute truth. Anando had returned! He had come for her!
…allei aiya, she responded. Anando…where have you been?
On a long journey, he answered. A soul-seeking journey.
Yes, she thought. I remember. He’d left for a deeper part of reality in search of…in search of what? The answer held itself away, just out of her reach. She knew she had this answer, but had forced herself to forget it. She stirred, frustrated.
I believe my journey was fruitful, he said. We will speak of it soon.
Caren trembled. Something ominous in those words. Wait —
