by Jon Chaisson
*
Caren gasped in a lungful of cold, bitter air and immediately knew that she was not where she wanted or needed to be, even before her eyes had opened. She had been lashing out at Nehalé Usarai when she’d been struck by…lightning? Wait, no. That wouldn’t make sense. Then she’d be dead, or at least in a lot more pain. She was…fine? She felt dizzy, same as before, but her eyes no longer felt the pain of the searing white Light. She was lying down on a bed, in a darkened room that somehow felt familiar to her. She reached out a hand tentatively in the air, touching nothing but the cool night breeze. She drank in its iciness, her head spinning from its purity. She recognized it as pure oxygen…like the oxygen tanks she wore once, after she and Poe had gotten caught in that burning apartment in Branden Hill…
“…Karinna.”
“Who —”
This is not right. She sat up quick, her hair a complete mess and covering most of her face. She stubbornly pushed the strands back and tucked them behind her ears as she looked around the darkened room —
Her room. In her apartment. A quiet night in Berndette Corner.
This is not right. She jumped out of her bed and scrambled into the dimness of the hallway and over to her sister’s room. The door was locked, but she could see light spilling out from underneath. She immediately started pounding on it, calling her name.
This is not right at all... “Denni!” she screamed. “Denni! We’ve got to get out of here! Now!”
“…Karinna.”
Caren stopped dead in her tracks. Her voice…so calm. So frighteningly calm.
“…Den? Is that you?”
“…Karinna.”
She shivered at the sound of Denni’s voice. She spoke in quiet, soothing voice that sounded all too unnatural. It wavered synthetically like a voice construct, almost exact in its replica yet never completely hiding a clipped digital soundwave. That isn’t her talking. Or is it…? It sounded like…
It sounded like many voices at once, all imitating hers, all speaking in unison.
What the hell is going on here? “Denni?” she called out. “Where are you?”
Silence. No…not a silence. She hadn’t heard a thing just a moment ago. Now she could hear but not feel a breeze, almost beyond the edge of hearing, and it came from Denni’s room.
“Denni!” She rapped on her sister’s door again. “Den?” She started again, quieter this time. “Den, are you in there?”
The door opened slightly, and muted light spilled out of the room and into the hallway. She stared inside, which looked every bit like the bedroom she’d always known, and saw nothing amiss except for the unseen light source. Warmth spilled out towards her, the source of the breeze as it pushed outwards at Caren and out into the hallway. The walls behind her and beside her absorbed the light, absorbed the warmth, and soon the entire apartment was awash with…
Light, Caren thought. Goddess…she’s —
“…Karinna, I am everywhere.” The pulsating light inside the room grew in intensity, at once pulling at her and warning her. “I am…”
The light of the room suddenly burst into high brilliance, its energy sending a sharp wave of heat past her. “De—Denysia,” she called out, waving her arms half-blindly. “Oh Goddess, Den…What’s happening?”
“Come, Karinna,” she said. “Come and see.”
“See?” she cried, shielding her watering eyes and taking a tentative step into the bedroom. “See what? Where are you?”
As if in response, the light dropped back down to its ambient hue, a semi-dark room just before dusk. Just as before, nothing had changed. This was Denni’s personal hiding space, her own world away from the pain and confusion of the Bridgetown Sprawl. Her plush animals were still piled haphazardly on top of one another on a corner of the still-unmade bed; the heaps of clean and dirty clothes she hadn’t yet divided were still scattered around the floor. Her vidmat on the desk near the window still blinked in the dark green of her screen saver.
This is where you sing me to sleep, Caren.
“…sing,” she said, shaking herself back to attention. She reached up and wiped away tears that had begun to form. Sing, she thought. Yes…I remember that. That had happened ages ago…when her mother and father had taken night duty at ARU Headquarters. When they were still alive.
Do you remember the song?
She laughed despite herself. She could not remember the song to save her life. It had been so many years ago…she’d been in her third year at the ARU Training Base just over the Sachers River. She’d chosen to live at home then, just to help out around the house while her parents adjusted to their new schedule. She remembered life being so much more stressful then…she had been so short of money that she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to afford her last year at the base. She’d refused to take her parents’ patronage on the simple fact that everyone she had ever known had expected her to.
Caren sniffled. “Sing it for me?” she asked.
Denni began to sing, and each note began to resonate within Caren’s heart.
Do you know, my dear sweet child…that the love within your heart will keep your soul living forever?
Caren smiled as more tears came. “Yes, now I remember…
“Do you know, my dear sweet child…” she sang. Goddess, yes! She remembered this song now. She felt it now, so deeply within. “…that the love within our hearts…is stronger than anything in this world?”
Denni joined her in the chorus. “I can see your Light, dear child, and it’s shining within mine…”
I can see your Light, dear child, and it’s shining within mine…
“Denni…” she whispered. “Why am I here…?”
You are my anchor, Karinna. You always will be.
“Your…” Caren stood in the center of Denni’s bedroom…a place that seemed so cluttered and small to her in the past, yet so empty and fragile without her there. That was it — now she understood why she had been brought here. She recognized everything in the room as distinctly Denni’s; everything here was an anchor to a reality she’d known her entire life. This included Caren herself. This was her fate as Protector of the One: to watch over the One of All Sacred at any cost, in any situation, no matter how dire…or mystifying.
I am your anchor, she said from within. Stay with me, Denysia. I will be here.
Denni laughed softly. Thank you, Karinna.
Caren suddenly felt the rush of warmth pushing by her…and stopping. She shivered as the air displaced itself around her. This was not only Denni’s love but her spiritform she felt swirling around her in a surreal dance with her own spirit. She felt her own soul intertwining with Denni’s, becoming one.
Come see, Karinna. Come see what I’ve seen…
“I…can’t.” The words seeped out before she could stop them. Of course, she should have said. I’d love to! But she had shied away. She truly could not begin to guess what Denni may have wanted to show her, but she knew it would have been well beyond her understanding. She did not want to lose hold of her own anchor…this place, this apartment. This city! She had lived in this city for so long she could not comprehend leaving it, especially now that her fate had been sealed along with Denni’s. If she were to be a link to this reality for her…then it would be wise to be the strongest damned link she could be.
“I’ll see it soon enough,” she said. “You can tell me when you return. Do what you have to do there, kid, and come back to me real soon, okay?”
Denni laughed. ‘kay, she said, and the warmth surrounding Caren slowly started to dissipate along with the light. The room dimmed to the point of ambience, just enough that she could see where she was, and just enough to make out certain objects in the room. I love you, Karinna, she said, her voice now just a whisper. I’ll be back. I promise. I’ll call if it’s going to be longer.
Caren laughed, instantly recognizing those same words
she had said to Denni just a few days earlier. “I love you too, kid.”
