by Jon Chaisson
*
Caren stirred and opened her eyes, and once again knew she was where she needed to be. Anando was holding her close, his fingers caressing her face and hair, keeping her close to his chest and watching over her in silence. His eyes shone when they met hers, completely happy to have her back. She inhaled slowly, tasting the sticky sweet air of energy that swelled around her, and realized that for the first time in her life she felt completely relaxed and at ease with herself, both spiritually and physically.
Hra khera, hra mehra, she thought with a smile. I am at peace.
She pushed herself out of his arms and into a sitting position, getting her bearings. They were in a small and dimly lit room, presumably in one of the mezzanine offices at the warehouse. It had grown dark outside, with barely any sunlight coming through the frosted windows. How long had she been out? “Where are we?” she asked.
“Upstairs offices at the far end of the warehouse,” Anando said. “We felt it best to distance you from the main floor for now. Amna has left to be with Denysia, so it’s just you and me.”
To her complete surprise, she did not feel the sudden shock of not knowing where her sister was or being able to get to her. For the first time in ages, she no longer worried about Denni’s welfare; rather, she now felt an immense pride, trusting her completely.
“Denni…” she stopped, twisting in place to face him. “Denni brought me to our apartment up in Berndette Corner. Just for a little while. She said she’s using me as an anchor for her own spirit.”
Anando nodded. “Amna is there for a physical anchor. Now that Denysia is bound to the both of you, she cannot be taken away.”
Caren didn’t like the tone of those words. “Tell me, Anando.”
Anando pursed his lips and frowned, looking away briefly. “She understood the consequences of the Cleansing, Karinna. She has to perform the Closing. Those down on the floor may be experiencing the blending of the spirits, becoming true cho-nyhndah, but unless one wanted to perform this ritual on the entire world…someone needs to close the connection. Otherwise this will continue to go on indefinitely, eventually expanding outwards into the Universe. And that is not part of the plan.”
“No…” she said. Despite her revived strength, she could not will herself to stand up. She felt so tired, so exhausted…the worlds had taken so much out of her the last few days, had asked so much of her that she now felt herself resigned to fate. She hadn’t made peace with it all, not even close. But for now, all the fight had gone out of her. All she could do was hope that Denni would be able to bring this all to an end somehow, bring everything back to a peaceful stasis.
Faith… she thought. I have faith in you, Den.
“I’m sorry,” Anando whispered, breaking the silence.
Caren frowned at him. “What are you apologizing for, Anando? You weren’t a part of all this…were you?”
“I’m sorry that we did not explain everything to you so long ago,” he said, looking away again. Was he ashamed? “The Mendaihu could only watch and protect Denysia and yourself…we could not prevent fate.”
“To hell with fate!” she growled, waving a hand at him. “If Denni and I were destined to do this? I wouldn’t call this fate at all! Predetermination? Sure. Prophecy? Sure. But it is not fate. We have a choice, Anando. Free will. We could have chosen not to follow at any time, you know. Our souls may sing, but we still have the ability to ignore it. It could have gone differently.”
Anando sighed patiently. “Nehalé still would have started the Awakening. Denysia still would have become the One of All Sacred. But you’re right, it was not fate…it was inevitability.”
Caren swore again, this time inwardly. He was right, damn it all. Despite her resignation, the situation still aggravated the hell out of her. Denni, Poe, Sheila and Nick, everyone else…they had been drawn into this by Anando, by Kai and Ashan…by Farraway…by her parents…and by Nehalé Usarai. “And I had the chance to beat the shit out of that bastard just a half hour ago,” she mumbled to herself.
Anando cocked his head at her. “What?”
She smirked at him. “Nothing. Sorry I yelled at you.” She reached out and held his hand. “Can’t escape this, can I?”
He squeezed her hand and offered her a weak smile. “I’m afraid not.”
“I figured as much,” she said. “Listen…whatever happens next…I want to thank you for finding me.” She suddenly found herself blushing and turned away. “Look at me…laughing like a moron. Damn it, I’m supposed to be pissed right now, Anando! I’m thirty-three, damn it. I’m too old to be falling in love again with an apparent soul mate I don’t even know.”
Anando let out a hearty laugh. “Ha! So you admit to it!”
She smacked him on the shoulder. “Shut up! I don’t even know how I feel about you right now!”
“Never try to explain love, you’ll only get yourself in trouble,” he said with a wink.
“Truer words never spoken,” she said, and pushed herself up, offering him a hand on the way. “Let’s go do this. I’ve a feeling we’re supposed to be going somewhere right now.”
Anando stopped in his tracks. “We’re supposed to stay here, in this room, Karinna,” he said.
Caren shook her head. “I’ve healed enough for now. I have you and I have Denni, and I’ve never felt safer. I don’t need to be here, not now. I believe I am already cho-nyhndah. Maybe it’s inherited from my parents…maybe Nehalé woke up the Shenaihu side of me that night…I don’t know.” She placed a hand on her chest, feeling her own heart beating, and it was completely calm for the first time in years. “I believe both sides are here within me, Anando. I can feel it, just like I can feel your connection to me.” She blushed again, laughing quietly. “I’m sorry…it’s hard to describe without sounding like an idiot.”
Anando smirked. “Trust me, dear one, you don’t.”
“Maybe I don’t,” she said. “Maybe you’re right, that this awakening was fate after all. Maybe it had to happen. For some of us, like Poe and myself, we already had our cho-nyhndah within. All we needed was for something to trigger our consciousness of it. Nehalé’s ritual. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“I think I do. But what about those downstairs? Are you saying that they don’t have that other side, as you put it?”
“I wouldn’t know,” she said, her brows lifting. “Who am I to be the judge of that? It could be anything. But letting those corresponding spirits — gods, that sounds so cold and distant, doesn’t it? Those newer spirits make me think of Prometheus, oddly enough.”
“A…a jinko?” he said. It took Caren a few moments to realize he’d used a street word of bastardized Japanese used coarsely and often rudely to describe the manmade AI so prevalent in office structures. A created lifeform, but devoid of soul. It was not quite what she had meant, but in a way it was close enough.
“Sort of,” she said. “Like Shirai at the Mirades Tower. It’s something so new to us that we, as a human and by extension a Meraladian race, aren’t quite sure what to make of it. We all have our ideas and opinions, but none of us really know what’s true and what might be imagined. I can’t help but wonder what their lives are going to be like once this is over.”
“If all goes according to plan,” Anando said soothingly, “there won’t be a difference at all. If Denysia keeps them close to her, they’ll keep their focus. The only change will be that of another awakening…that of memories. The other spirit’s memories…and they’ll perceive them as their own, which will be true, since both spirits will become one.”
Caren stopped him with a hand and shook her head. “Okay. That I didn’t know.” She paused, sorely tempted to continue this conversation, but she knew that there was little time left. “We can continue this later, Anando. Right now I’ve got to get outside.” She held out a hand. “You’re welcome to follow if you want to.”
Without a second thought, he moved forward and took her hand again. Together they stepped out of the office and made for the opposite end of the warehouse. She stopped momentarily at the end of the aisle, gazing at the thousands of people at the other end, kneeling in silent prayer. She watched them with both reverence and awe; these were the followers of the One — her sister! — and believed in her so deeply that they had put their very lives in her hands. Caren knew she was here among them, in spirit if not in person.
Peace, Love and Light to all of you, she said to anyone who could or wanted to hear. Love is with the One Everlasting. She turned back, and exited with Anando onto the rain-slicked street.
It had stopped raining for the most part, the clouds above slowly fading from a deep charcoal to a light gray. Whatever had been done, it was working. The Rain of Light had been successfully harnessed, and now the spirits would soon be released. She turned on the commlink on the lapel of her uniform and called out to Poe, hoping he was still there.
