by Jon Chaisson
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Awakening
Denysia?
Denni opened her eyes to the brilliance enveloping her body. She felt nothing...no wind pushing at her, no temperature to scald or freeze her, no gravity to pull her down, no objects for her to touch. The only other sound besides her own breathing was that of Ampryss, quietly but anxiously calling her name. She twirled in midair and let herself stop in what she thought was the direction of the voice, and leaned forward ever so slightly until she felt the sensation of moving towards it.
Ampryss, she called back.
Denysia, she repeated, a tone of relief in her voice. I am happy to hear your voice again. You have initiated the Cleansing?
I have, Denni answered.
Despite the freedom, despite the boundless knowledge she had acquired, she still felt something had kept her from knowing precisely why all this was happening. It had remained unattainable, even through her transformation, and she knew she was not the only one feeling this frustration. Caren had voiced hers quite a few times throughout this ordeal…she, of all people, deserved some sort of answer.
As if reading her thoughts, Ampryss spoke into the void: This is the way it has always been, Denysia. For you alone, to awaken as the One of All Sacred, all you needed was to comprehend the infinite power of knowledge. For you, it was the simple task of equating comprehension with Meraladian sensing. Because of that, it became instinct for you. You do not feel intimidated by your godlike status, because you trust yourself. You have simply accepted that You Are. That’s all it is, nothing more.
For others, however…for untold numbers to awaken at once to their True Nature, we as spiritwatchers have found it necessary for a life-changing event to trip people up, as it were. When Nehalé Usarai initiated the First Awakening ritual, the psychic blast caused a great number of people to see life with different eyes. When he brought you back to the Crest, you learned to achieve clarity by stepping away temporarily. Down there, in your city, those most affected were also the most changed. Their ancestral link to Trisanda had become strengthened by both your awakening and by the Rain of Light.
Denni let a long silence go by before she answered. That doesn’t answer my question, she said. Why is this happening?
Perhaps that is not the question you want to ask, Ampryss replied, because it is too vague. You are asking for a meaning to life. Perhaps if you narrowed your question down?
Denni growled in frustration. Ampryss was right, she needed a sharper focus. What would Caren have asked? She would have been able to get a straightforward answer out of anyone if she was angry enough. Okay, then, she huffed. What, exactly, was Nehalé’s motive for starting the Awakening? Are we awaiting — no, let me rephrase that. I understand the concept of Return, Ampryss. Countless religions, myths, what have you…most all of them have some sort of Return. It could be a soul’s return to a higher plane of existence…or a Messiah’s return to the mortal world. She let out a satisfied chuckle. I suppose I can be viewed as the latter. But all of this? Nehalé’s psychic blast…the Rain of Light…the hrrah-sehdhyn…the ongoing animosity between the Mendaihu and the Shenaihu…just so we can all achieve some sort of personal godhood? That’s not the full story. If Nehalé caused all that just to Awaken us, I’m sure he could have done without the sacrifices. Something scared him. Is that it?
Nehalé Usarai is a reality seer, Ampryss said. What he sees in the future is only one of a number of possible realities, all of which hinge upon the events that happen before it. He saw the possibility of your Awakening and moved on that without question. That tends to be his weakness most of the time, but truly, he had honorable intentions. As for the cho-nyhndah ritual, to bring the Mendaihu and Shenaihu souls together…
Ampryss left her in an uncomfortable silence as she gathered her own thoughts together. Denni squirmed in the sea of Light, already becoming restless and wishing that she were back on Earth, with her sister, with Amna, with her friends…with anyone now, in the physical plane. But to leave this Light now would be to leave the thousands she watched over as the Gathering and Cleansing rituals took place. It was her selflessness and love for them that kept her from leaving, but it was her own youth and individuality that screamed to let go. These were her own twin spirits manifesting themselves.
Ultimately, he believes he is building an army of Warriors of the One, Denysia, Ampryss said finally. He is readying Gharra for another war of the spirits.
“He can’t!” she barked. “I won’t let him, Ampryss! We cannot have another war between the Mendaihu and the Shenaihu!”
No, we cannot, she answered. That is why you must stop him from falling into the same trap again, Denysia. You’ve calmed the spirits now, but they need rest. They need direction if we are to avoid another war. It is your duty as the One of All Sacred to ease this tension and find a peaceful balance again.
Denni wanted to answer that, but she could find no words right now. Why was Nehalé trying to destroy everything he’d been working so hard for? And why was Natianos Lehanna responding to every peace offering with violence? Why was any of this happening? She already knew the only way to end this Cleansing ritual was to have Natianos interrupt it. He had to close the cycle, just as Nehalé had opened it.
She shivered, saddened and angry at the same time. I feel so…so frustrated, Ampryss. We’re all doing our best to be at peace, and yet our spirits wish otherwise. It’s like we’re victims of our own dichotomies.
Ampryss did not answer, but instead sent a ripple through Denni to let her know she was still there. Denni found her silence disconcerting. Ampryss had never manifested on Earth, not once during all the Embodiments. She would remain at her Great Table on Trisanda, forever welcoming those who visited and offering guidance, but never forcing it upon anyone. Ampryss was the ultimate reality seer, knowing all three levels of history: past, present and future. And yet she refused to become an active part of it. Denni ached for her, wondering if she had ever wished to participate, even once. Witnessing all, but never part of the whole.
She reached out for a random thought from the Light — from any of the thousands of people she was connected with — and within moments she was able to find the two names she wanted. They were from Saone Lehanna, the woman she had touched in the warehouse. Saone had given her these names freely, as a gift.
Natianos Lehanna and Janoss Mirades, Denni said, keeping her anger in check. They’ve visited you, haven’t they?
Yes, Ampryss admitted without guilt. Yes, they have.
Denni nearly exploded in a tirade of curses and accusations at the mere thought of Ampryss conversing with the enemy, but found the strength to keep herself in check. There was no reason to attack someone whose impartiality was the one thread keeping this delicate situation from unraveling. Her anger was dangerously misplaced, and the spirits around her were starting to respond in kind. She took several deep breaths and calmed herself. Peace, Love and Light, she told them. I have erred. Do not judge those who may be allies in the future. They shall trust you in time.
Well done, Ampryss said. You have calmed storms using only words and love.
I have screwed up, Denni replied flatly, and grunted. So…what am I to do now? Somehow I don’t think a summit between us all will help matters right now, even if it was at the Meeting Table.
My table welcomes everyone, Ampryss said.
Denni laughed bitterly. If only it were that easy! For that I thank you, Ampryss. Perhaps after everything has calmed down some. Getting them all together in one place seems like wishful thinking right now. It doesn’t seem like the right thing to do just yet.
You may contact them at any time, you know, Ampryss offered. They will listen.
It was tempting, but again her soul did not sing out for it. It was not the right time. There were too many variables, too many things that could still go wrong. I may eventually. The Cleansing Ritual is nearing its end
, and I must give my full attention to it. I will contact you when I can, regarding this summit, however. Perhaps within the next few weeks. I’m sure that we all will need time to heal first.
Ampryss laughed. My Dearest One, your intelligence knows no bounds.
That’s what’s so annoying about it, she retorted. Thank you, Ampryss. You’ve opened my eyes once again. I shall call for you soon. Peace, Love and Light to you.
…and with you, Ampryss said, sending another ripple of Light through Denni’s spirit as she exited.
Denni floated in silence for a long time, thinking and meditating, before she decided what the next step would be. She nodded to herself, sent out her own ripple, this time of Love, out to her newly awakened, faithful followers. Her newfound friends. Her soldiers. Her Warriors of the One.
