by Shayla Black
Would it be the same when this idyllic week was over and they had to return to their real-world responsibilities?
Heavenly tried not to dwell on that Friday when they visited Catalina. She’d been morose during the ferry ride to the island because it had given her a solid hour of silence to stew alone. It touched her so much that Beck and Seth had gone to this much trouble and expense to give her a week of adventure. But she knew this wasn’t what her father had meant by spreading her wings and seeing the world. On the other hand, it was making sense why she couldn’t live her life for Dad.
She was relieved to reach the charming town of Avalon. From the Catalina Casino, she watched boats sail in and out of the gorgeous horseshoe-shaped bay. She strolled Wrigley Botanical Gardens, her thoughts still engaged in the tug-of-war between her sublime happiness and the sludgy guilt-grief mixture that kept trying to wash it away.
Beck and Seth hunted her down early that day—she still had no idea how they were so uncanny—and led her to Lover’s Cove, where they just held hands and kissed while watching the waves and the other tourists go by. Late in the afternoon, they took a private Jeep ride up the island’s peaks for an amazing three-hundred-sixty-degree view of the Pacific Ocean. They found a cozy steakhouse, indulged in filets, lobsters, and wine, before retiring to a charming hotel on the water and their suite with a full view of Avalon Bay.
They ended the night not by exploring her sexuality and pushing her boundaries but by wrapping themselves around her and making slow, sweet love to her that lasted into the wee hours of the morning.
After a leisurely breakfast, they took the ferry back to Long Beach together. Beck drove the two of them to his place, Seth following in his SUV. Heavenly was glad not to be driving. She’d had enough California traffic to last her a long while. Besides, she was beginning to feel far more settled when she was with one or both of the guys than when she had time alone.
What does that tell you about where your future lies?
She wasn’t ready to answer that voice. It would be so, so easy to tell Beck and Seth she loved them, too, and wanted to stay forever. But her father had only been gone two weeks. That wasn’t long enough to decide the rest of her life.
The bigger problem? She hadn’t given any alternative future a chance. She needed the comparison…but it was getting hard for Heavenly to picture any future without them.
Sunday, April 14
* * *
They woke Sunday morning to rain—and an absolutely empty refrigerator.
As Seth spooned Heavenly while Beck pressed good-morning kisses to her face, he was perfectly content to enjoy the sound of the drops hitting the roof…until his stomach rumbled.
Heavenly giggled as she looked at him over her shoulder. “I’d offer to make you breakfast, but…”
He kissed the tip of her nose, then settled his mouth over hers. God, he loved the way she smelled in the morning—feminine, fresh, musky. The scent of last night’s sex clung to her and made him eager to violate her again.
On the other side of the bed, Beck must have had the same idea since he palmed her breast and took her nipple in his mouth. Just the sight of her, soft and naked and being aroused by the surgeon, was enough to turn Seth’s morning wood into something real and urgent.
“Again?” she breathed.
“Are you complaining, angel?” Seth asked as he dipped his hand between her legs to find her already wet.
Beck was too busy with her tits to participate in the conversation.
“No,” she gasped.
He smiled. “I didn’t think so.”
“But you’re hungry.”
“I am. So why don’t you roll onto your back and spread your pretty thighs for me?”
On her other side, Beck grunted his approval and took her untended nipple onto his tongue.
“I meant for breakfast,” she all but moaned as she complied, her back arching.
Seth loved that she was already panting as he positioned his mouth above her slick flesh. “Food can wait. I’d rather have you.”
As he feasted, Beck swallowed down her cries with his kiss, then kept her mouth plenty busy after Seth put his condom to good use.
A sweaty, screaming while later, Seth fell back to the mattress, breathing like a bellows following a spine-melting orgasm—and barely caught himself from rolling off the edge of the mattress. “I know this bed is king-size, but it’s too goddamn small for three adults.”
Between breaths of repletion, Beck glared at him. “We need something bigger. You take up a lot of space.”
Between them, Heavenly seemed to curl into herself. “It’s fine. Besides, finding a bigger bed seems like a lot of effort.”
Seth heard her subtext loud and clear: she might not be here seven weeks from now. Yes, they’d given her until the end of the semester to make up her mind, but after the week they’d just shared, he’d never pictured her leaving. Her reminder—almost like a warning—felt like a slap to the face.
His mood went to hell. He jackknifed out of bed. “I’m going to take a shower.”
As if on cue, Beck’s phone went off. He reached for it on the nightstand and scanned the screen. “I’ll hop in after you. Looks like I might get a case the surgeon on call can’t handle.”
“Go ahead. I’ll use the one down the hall.”
Heavenly sat up. “I’ll find you two some breakfast.”
“May not be time,” Beck warned, then pushed his way into the master bathroom.
Seth wasn’t surprised when the doctor slammed the door behind him. He’d gotten Heavenly’s message, too.
“Don’t bother. I’ll feed myself,” Seth told her.
Before she could protest, he left the room. The last thing he saw was her deflated, near-tears expression. By the time he exited the shower, he felt like a heel. She didn’t know what to do; that wasn’t news. And he shouldn’t have expected their week-long chase to clear up her confusion…but he’d thought it had brought them closer.
Twenty minutes later, he and the surgeon met up in the kitchen as Heavenly made a grocery list. They all sipped coffee. No one spoke. He’d give Beck a pass because he was texting the hospital about the incoming accident victim. Seth stayed mute because he feared anything he said would sound like he blamed Heavenly for needing more time to decide her future. And the girl herself probably didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t begin and end with an apology that changed nothing.
Finally, she closed the fridge door, wrote two more things on a piece of paper spread across the island, then put the cap on the pen. “Unless you have any other requests, I’ll be back with groceries shortly.”
“Do you want company?” he offered.
She was about to answer when her phone rang. A glance at the screen had her frowning.
“Who is it, angel?”
“It’s not anyone in my contacts, but the number looks familiar.” She pressed the button to answer the call. “Hello?”
Seth heard the garble of a male voice on the other end sounding stern and slightly combative. He tensed.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “My father passed away and—” The guy on the other end interrupted, barking at her before he finally let her have another word. “I know that. With everything that happened, I just—” The caller broke in again, his voice more of a growl that made Heavenly pale. “By when?”
Seth tossed Beck a raised brow. The surgeon shook his head. Yeah, neither of them liked this. I got it, he mouthed.
Beck nodded and answered another text from the hospital.
“Of course I understand what you’re saying. I didn’t realize—”
When the asshole interrupted again, Seth had heard enough of him disrespecting Heavenly. No one got to talk to her that way. He held out a hand, palm up. “Why don’t you let me talk to him?”
“Excuse me,” she told the man, then muted the call. “It’s okay, I’ve got this.”
Seth shook his head. “He’s being rude and not letting y
ou finish a sentence. I hate when pricks like him think they can bully a woman. I have no problem dealing with pushy people. Let me?”
“Actually, that would be a relief.” She handed him the phone.
“This is Seth Cooper,” he said into her cell. “I’ll be speaking for Ms. Young. Who is this?”
“Will you be paying her past due laboratory bills?”
He cut a stare to Heavenly. Oh, she had some explaining to do…
“What’s the problem?”
The bill collector launched into a spiel about how he represented a lab who had run tests for Abel’s previous neurologist. They hadn’t been paid in over three months, despite sending a last-and-final notice in the mail nearly four weeks ago, so the office had turned the invoice over to a collection agency.
“How much?”
The guy rattled off an amount that Seth thought sounded a lot like gouging. “Well, Ms. Young’s medical consultant happens to be here. I’ll ask him whether that’s a fair price for those procedures and call you back.”
Magically, the collection agent backpedaled. After Beck added his two cents, they agreed to an amount that wasn’t utterly ridiculous, then Seth gave them a credit card number.
All the while, Heavenly looked somewhere between relieved and nervous.
When Seth finally ended the call, he set her phone on the island. He wasn’t pleased. “What happened?”
“When we moved you out of that shithole you and your dad lived in, we asked you what other outstanding bills you had,” Beck reminded, face stern. “You didn’t mention this one.”
“I just forgot about it,” she said. “When it came, it was one of many. Most I stashed in the desk we cleared out, but that one I shoved in my school bag when it arrived so Dad wouldn’t see, then it slipped my mind. I swear.”
Seth wasn’t sure he believed her.
Beck analyzed her, eyes narrowed, before he finally nodded. “Okay, we’ll take your word. You had a lot going on, little girl. And everyone forgets things.”
The doctor had a point. Seth softened and moved in behind her. “It’s finished. They’ll never call you again.”
She turned to him, apology all over her face. “I’m sorry that my problems have been never ending for you two. And that I’ve messed everything up so much your natural assumption was that I’d purposely kept the truth from you.”
She looked so painfully young and earnest.
He softened, his heart clutching. He brushed a kiss over her trembling mouth. “When you received that bill, you didn’t know Beck and I would take responsibility for whatever financial problems you faced. I understand you tucking it away and forgetting it. But if you withhold anything from us intentionally, you know the consequences.”
“A spanking?”
“For something little like not telling us you don’t like horror movies when we’re pumped to take you to the next slasher flick, probably,” Beck said. “But…”
Seth wasn’t about to let that explanation go unfinished. “For major things, Heavenly, we’d have far more serious conversations. People can’t be in relationships with partners who aren’t honest. That’s even more true in BDSM. We rely on it, along with trust and open communication. Without that, what do we really share? And why should we go on?”
“You’d leave me?” She sounded stricken.
That face tugged at him.
He cupped her shoulders. “It’s not a threat. I just need you to understand our expectation and why your previous behavior is totally unacceptable now.”
She nodded miserably. “I understand. I’m sorry.”
He hated her sounding so small and defeated. “We’re not disappointed in you today. You’re human. If you forgot, you forgot.”
With a shaky nod, she tried to put on a happier face.
“Good girl.” Beck leaned down to kiss her.
“You sure you don’t want any company while you grocery shop?”
“I’ll be fine. Raine texted me earlier. She mentioned that River will probably call you this morning to catch up after our trip so you’ll be ready for Monday morning. I won’t be gone long.”
Beck cradled her jaw. “Sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah.” She sniffled. “I don’t know why that call made me so emotional. I guess it reminded me of all my problems and of Dad and…”
“I’m sure. We also didn’t let you get a lot of sleep last night.” Beck smiled.
“But I liked that.” She snuggled herself against him.
Seth flanked her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “We did, too.”
They embraced in the middle of the kitchen, letting stillness and silence envelop them for long moments. Then Heavenly gathered herself, along with her purse and car keys, waving as she headed out to Seth’s SUV.
The moment the door closed behind her, Seth turned to Beck. “What the hell?”
“Yeah.” The surgeon pulled at the back of his neck. “On the one hand, I have a feeling we’re going to step into more medical shit she couldn’t manage with her dad.”
“She was in over her head.”
“Completely. Do I wish she had told us about this invoice? Sure. We’ve taken care of all the others…”
“Yeah, so I thought we were done.”
Beck shrugged. “But I could tell by her sudden panic that she’d been forgetful, not deceitful. She hates disappointing us. That became clear in San Diego.”
Seth had come to the same conclusion for the same reason. “Yeah. If she’s holding on to other secrets or isn’t sharing her worries, I’m going to be royally pissed.”
“Face it. There are still a mountain of obstacles in our way. She didn’t put them there on purpose, but we’ll still have to overcome them.”
“And we have a lot to unpack from last week. She’s not always good about being forthright, so we’ll need a crafty way to make her talk to us.”
“You mean manipulative.”
Seth shrugged. “Semantics. All boils down to the same shit.”
The doctor nodded, and Seth fell silent as he pondered his own words.
When Liam and Hammer had needed to open a mistrusting Raine, they’d implemented a creative, structured program to help her tackle her fears and insecurities. It had worked. In fact, it had been good for them all.
“Well, Hammer and Liam sequestered Raine…” Beck blurted as if reading Seth’s mind.
He chuckled at the irony. “They taught her plenty, but you and I inadvertently got an education, too.”
About how to settle a sub together.
“Absolutely. I think it’s time we put that to good use.”
Seth cocked a brow. “You got a plan?”
“Let’s look at this methodically. Our biggest obstacles are her grief, her guilt, and all the bad habits she developed when she was alone and just trying to survive, right?”
“Yep. And except to be here for her—for as long as she stays—I don’t know how much impact we can have on her mourning. Ultimately, that’s a process she has to go through alone.”
“Maybe not.” Beck hesitated. “Can we help her by making her share her feelings with us?”
Seth bobbed his head, glad the surgeon hadn’t suggested his inner sadist as a means to “fix” her. “Some, yeah. Anything to keep her from bottling up her feelings is good.”
“Her guilt is something we can have a direct impact on. I think this past week opened her eyes to the fact we can show her new things in life.”
“You’re not wrong.” Seth fell quiet. “We should talk about San Diego.”
“Yes. That submissive breakthrough of hers…stunning. When she let herself kneel for us, it was like the heavens finally parted and—”
“She understood. I had no idea that would flip the switch in her. But I saw it, and it did something to me, man.”
“Me, too. She wants to submit. She’s aching to.” Beck shrugged. “Not shocking for a girl who’s had to handle everything on her own to want to give herself an
d her problems over.”
“No, but it’s deeper than that. Even without her circumstances, I think she would have eventually gone down this path. Her desire to please and serve is bone-deep. She wants to be coddled and loved and everything else we can give her. As long as she doesn’t have to commit.” That was really beginning to bother Seth.
“It’s her guilt.”
“I know. Think she’ll ever tell us she loves us, too?”
Seth wasn’t holding his breath, much less thinking they’d get lucky enough to marry her one day. Besides, that would be fraught with problems, too. Not only would they never be able to speak their vows in the Church, the relationship would horrify his staunchly Catholic mother.
Another problem for another day…
“I hope, but that’s not in our control. We have to focus on what is—being there for her, talking to her, breaking her habit of keeping everything in. Then we’ll hope the rest will come.” Beck nodded. “But we can teach her better communication. We’ll start sitting her down at least once a day and just talk. Nothing major. We’ll ask her about her homework, what hours she’s volunteering at the hospital, if she and Raine are getting together… You know, random stuff. We’ll keep it light and expand from there. We have to encourage her to share herself, whether that’s daily joys or drudgery. We’ll praise her when she tells us her hopes, wants, and needs. What we can’t do is get pissy when we don’t like it, especially if she’s being honest.”
Like this morning after the discussion about the bed. The surgeon was fucking right.
“It’s my impatience that makes me want to bypass the baby steps, delve straight into her psyche, and press her to decide whether she’s staying with us for good.”
“Considering all she’s been through, it will take time before it feels like second nature for her to share more than surface stuff with us—”
“And stop keeping us in the fucking dark about major shit.”
“If she does that, we’ll have to be prepared to hand down some harsh punishment,” Beck growled.
“Could you really walk away from her?” Seth hoped it never came to that. He didn’t know where he’d find the will or the strength to leave Heavenly for good.
