by Clara Capp
“It’s ok,” Stephanie is patting his shoulder. She’s moved his left leg up so he has less trouble laying on his side.
There are sirens in the distance. It’s not long before paramedics rush over and take her spot. She skitters over to me.
“I need to wash my hands.”
We disappear from the scene. People gather to watch the spectacle now that EMTs are here, and they don’t even know that Stephanie was the one who helped the man.
She walks out of the bathroom and smiles at me. “Sorry about that.”
I want to say a million things to her. How she’s so selfless, good, and kind. That’s she’s beautiful from the inside out. Unfortunately, I’m not sure how to phrase any of that.
“Do you want to look at the view again?” I ask.
“Yeah!”
We walk down the side of Griffith Observatory, and I hop the small barrier into the brush.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“There’s a trail down here. Same view, less people.”
We walk around the side of the trail and to the view. It’s still as great as before, but now we have no people filing by us.
Stephanie runs her hands over her bare shoulders and tries not to shiver. Her jacket was trashed after the man vomited on it.
“C’mere.” I open the side of my jacket for her to warm up.
“I…okay.” She nervously presses her body against mine under the jacket.
We stand in silence. Her body begins to relax into mine, and she wraps her arms around my waist.
“That was very kind of you to help him,” I say quietly.
“It wasn’t a big deal.” Her head is against my chest.
“Most people wouldn’t. Did you see how they all stopped and stared? None of them offered to help. Hell, you even had to ask me to help you.”
“I have an unfair advantage, if you’re comparing me to most people.” She takes her head off my chest and smiles. “I’ll always help someone who needs it.”
I think back to the day we met. She was terrified of me, but she still made sure I lived. She should still be terrified of me, but here she is, with her arms wrapped around my waist, giving me the kindest smile I’ve ever seen. She’s a ray of sunlight in my darkness.
“Why are you so good?” I whisper.
I can’t take it anymore. I lean in and kiss her. Her lips are even more intoxicating than kissing small sections of her body, and I’m soon hooked to the drug that is Stephanie Hawthorne. More. I need more.
She lets out an ‘mmm’ noise as I suck her lower lip. Her hands work their way from my chest to my abs, and she starts running her fingers in the dips. Her hand slips and accidentally grazes the bulge that as formed in my pants.
“Fuck, Sweetheart,” I moan.
Even in the dark, I can see she has gone bright red. “We-we should go. S’embarassing kissing in public.”
There isn’t anyone around. But if she wants to go home, that’s fine with me. I’m ready to take her, now.
I run my hand along her inner thigh on the drive home. She lets out a small gasp anytime I get near her core, and if those small gasps have me this turned on, I’ll be out of control later.
In a few minutes, I’m going to have my perfect girl writhing under me. I can’t wait to take her.
Stephanie
Shu presses me against the elevator wall of his apartment, and I love it. His massive body wrapped around mine always gives me a strong feeling of protection, and I know nothing will ever hurt me when I’m in his arms.
He sucks the delicate flesh of my neck and grinds against my body, and I let out a whimper as I feel his need against me. It would’ve freaked me out a couple weeks ago, but it doesn’t now. When his hardness rubs against me, it’s a silent reminder of his feelings for me.
What scares me is getting back to the apartment. I’m not ready to do that. I like feeling Shu on the outside. I want to run my hands everywhere, from the dips of his abs to the bulge in his pants. But I’m not ready to have him inside, yet. I know I want it to be him, but I’m still too afraid to act on it.
I’m not sure what to do. I want to keep kissing him, but I’m not ready to do anything else. It’s not for sure that he wants to have sex. Maybe he only wants to make out, and then we can go to sleep after.
Yeah right.
He captures my lips as the elevator door dings, and we stumble towards his apartment door. We trip as we try to get to our destination but can’t let go of the others lips. He curses as he fumbles with the apartment keys.
He slams the door shut and pins me against the sofa cushion. Shu spreads my legs and grinds the bulge of his pants into my core, and electric waves shoot through my lower body. I gasp. No one has ever touched down there before, and I didn’t know it was possible to get sensations like those.
Shu makes me feel like I may explode. I don’t know how the explosion will work, but as he grinds into my core, I know I want him to give it to me.
“I need you,” he pants in my ear.
The spell is broken. I know exactly what his need entails.
“I-I’m actually kind of tired.” I wriggle out from under him. “I’m going to sleep. Goodnight!” I skitter to my bedroom before he has the chance to say anything.
Ugh. That wasn’t smooth at all. I cringe as I fall into my bed, wishing it would have gone different than that.
Shu put an ache in my lower half, and I’m frustrated that I don’t know how to get rid of it.
* * *
I was expecting things to be awkward the next day, but Shu acted like everything was normal, which is fine with me. The only thing that isn’t fine is the lack of affection. He hasn’t kissed me at all since that day.
And me, with my almost nonexistent experience, isn’t sure how to phrase ‘please continue kissing me but I’m not ready to have sex.’ Our nights are spent watching TV on the sofa three feet apart, and I want to beg him to close the gap.
Other than that, living with Shu isn’t bad. He can’t cook, so when I moved in I started making all of our meals. He doesn’t let me touch a single dish after I’m finished and does them as we talk.
Slippers really likes him. He probably likes Shu more than he likes me. Slippers cuddles on his lap now while we watch TV. I was jealous at first, but it’s cute. Shu puts on a tough guy exterior and pretends to hate cats, but I see how happy he gets when Slippers starts to purr.
He’s been working a lot recently. I have to go to his office after work, and I play on my computer in one of the empty rooms, because I’m not allowed in his office. I know the work he does is bad, but I don’t understand how bad it can be for me to not see it.
It’s so boring here today. I’m sure Shu won’t care if I take a walk around the building. It’s not like I’m going outside, where someone might murder me. There are only people I know here.
I press the button down to the second floor. I’ve only seen all the third, because Shu’s office is at the very end, so he’s able to hear me if anything goes wrong—which it never does.
I trot out on the second floor, which has the same layout as the third. Boring. I peer into the offices that have windows, trying to see if there’s anything interesting inside.
Chairs. Tables. There’s nothing exciting in any of them. I grumble and turn around. A man around my age stumbles out of one of the offices.
“Hey sexy, what’re you doing in a nasty place like this?”
He’s drunk. I can smell the alcohol on him, and he’s ten feet away. And he called me sexy. Who does that?
“I’m just…going back upstairs,” I squeak.
“S’that so? Why do you spend some time with me first?”
“No, I don’t think so.” I start walking backwards towards the elevator. The man follows me.
“We’ll have some fun.”
I shouldn’t have explored here. There was a reason Shu told me to stay put. My heart races in my chest as the drunken man gets closer.
&nbs
p; “I need to get back to Shu.” He doesn’t recognize who I’m talking about. “I mean, Shudevil.”
“The Devil?” he laughs. “He don’t scare me.”
Who in their right mind would call Shu the Devil? He’s a nice guy. A little scary, and he’s killed some people, but that comes with his profession.
“Don’t call him that,” I say.
“Oh, little girl.” He laughs. “You don’t even know who you’re in bed with. It’s like a sheep sleeping with a wolf.”
“St-stop.”
“The Devil. Say it in any gang and they’ll know exactly who you’re talking about. He’s done things to people that are worse than death. Some say he’s peeled a man’s skin off, layer by layer—”
“Stop!”
“It don’t matter.” The drunken man lunges forward and closes the gap between us. “This time is about us.”
He shoves me against the wall and I can feel his excitement. But it’s not like when I’m with Shu. When I feel this man’s, it makes me want to throw up and cry at the same time.
“Stop it!” His hand muffles my screams.
How is he so strong? The man can shut me up and hold me in place with one arm. He uses the other to undo his belt and unzip his pants.
“Don’t worry.” His breath reeks of alcohol. “I promise you’ll enjoy it.”
He reaches his hand into his pants and I start to cry. This isn’t how I planned it. I want my first time to be special.
There’s a disgusting crunch as a fist collides with the drunken man’s face. Shu hovers above the man, who is now curled in a ball on the floor.
“The fuck…?” The drunken man moans. He sees Shu and turns white. “Oh no. I wasn’t going to do anything. I was just messing around.”
I guess he was lying about not being afraid of Shu.
Shu lifts him off the ground and twists his arm, and it makes a disgusting creaking noise as he slowly pushes in on it.
“Like fuck you were.” The creaking turns to a snap as he pushes it all the way in.
“Please stop! I’ll do anything!”
Shu’s going to kill this man.
“Shu, stop!” I cry.
“He was about to rape you, Sweetheart.”
Saying the word makes Shu angrier. He slowly starts to break the man’s collar bone, and he screams in agony.
“Stop!” I run over and try to hold his arms back. It’s completely useless because of how strong he is, but I try to get my message through. “He’s not worth it. He’s just a drunk.”
Shu looks like he’s going to press harder on his collar bone but turns to look at me.
“Please?” I whisper. Tears stream down my face.
He shoves the man away from him. “Taime will deal your punishment.”
The drunken man turns white. Whatever punishment Taime deals must be as bad a Shu’s.
He grabs my hand and marches me back to my room. Shu is pissed. I’ve never seen this much anger radiating off him before, and to be honest, it scares me a bit. What if there’s truth behind that man’s devil comment?
I tremble as he slams the door shut behind us. There’s not much space in here, but he’s using the small bit to pace back and forth. He won’t look at me at all.
“I’m sorry,” I squeak.
Shu stops and finally looks at me. “Why would you do that?” He’s not yelling. He rests his forehead against mine and uses his thumb to stroke my temple.
I wish he would have yelled. That action cut so much deeper than being screamed at. My throat constricts, and I try to apologize, but start to cry instead.
“Don’t cry.”
He leans forward and kisses me. Finally. I wrap my arms around him and pull him into me, trying to silently explain how much I missed him. He deepens our kiss, and I can tell he missed me just as much as I did him.
“Just think next time, okay?” he gives my lower lip a gentle nibble. “You’re mine. I won’t have any other men touching you.”
I’m his. The words put butterflies in my stomach.
“I missed your kisses.” I let out a laugh-sob, and wipe some of my tears away.
“I missed kissing you.” He plants one last delicate kiss on me. “Now, no tears.” He wipes them away with his thumb. “Should we bring pho home tonight?”
I nod again, and we leave.
* * *
“Want to know a secret?” Shu says.
We’re eating pho at the dining room table. Slippers is curled up by Shu’s feet, and I can hear his purring from the other side of the table.
“Hm?”
“I hated pho when we got it the first time.” I start to sputter an apology, but Shu interjects. “I really like it now, though.”
He playfully runs his hand across mine and keeps eating.
“You know what secret I want to know?” I say.
“Hm?”
“Your first name.”
“You’d have a better chance of stealing the Mona Lisa.”
He says it jokingly, but it still hurts. I think our relationship is close enough for him to tell me, but I guess he thinks otherwise. I frown and move on.
Shu
I didn’t touch Stephanie for days after what happened.
I’m a huge asshole. I told her how badly I needed her, and she ran—as she should’ve. Stephanie is too pure for that. She probably sees men for months before getting to that level of intimacy.
She isn’t the type of girl I normally have. The other girls instantly spread their legs because of my status, looks, and bragging rights to say they had sex with The Devil. And I take full advantage of it. I fuck them and leave the next morning.
There’s something about her that makes me want to stay. Yes, I have to watch her per her father, but it’s more than that. Stephanie is too good for this world. I’ve seen more kindness from her in two weeks than I have in my entire life. She saved my life, helped the man who had a seizure, and that day at work.
When I saw that drunk about to rape her, there was no doubt in my mind I’d kill him. I would have broken every bone in that man’s body, but she begged me not to. One look at her was all it took to stop.
She begged me to not kill him, even after what he did. I wouldn’t kill him since Stephanie asked, but I also couldn’t let that slide. Taime took care of him.
Why did she choose a devil like me? I’m going to damn us both.
Stephanie beams at me as she walks out of her bedroom. “Morning.”
“Morning.”
She stands on her tip toes to give me a kiss. Stephanie is tall, but I’m a giant. I think it was 6’6 last time I checked.
I run my hand along her back. “Good morning.”
“Any plans for today?”
“Yes, actually.”
I know she won’t like it. I haven’t been able to get any ‘work’ done since I’ve been watching her. There are people that need to be interrogated, drug shipments that must be overseen. I’ve been keeping an eye on her for a week and a half and haven’t done any field work.
“What’re we doing?” she asks.
“I have to go out. I’m having someone come over and watch you in my place.”
“What? B-but, I don’t want a man I don’t know to be here. Just let me stay alone.”
She covers her body, and I know she’s thinking back to the moment at the office. I’m glad I had Taime take care of that dick.
“It’s only for a few hours. You can just stay in your room.”
“But…” she grabs the hem of my t-shirt.
I soften. “What if I see if Tony can watch you?”
“Tony?” she brightens up a bit. “Ok. We barely get to talk now.”
I’m irrationally jealous of him. Tony is a fifty-year-old Italian man, who probably wasn’t great looking even when he was Stephanie’s age. I know Stephanie looks at him as a father figure, but I still want to be the only one who puts that look on her face.
An hour later he’s at my front door, and we
give each other a gruff hello as he walks in.
“Tony!” Stephanie says.
Thank god she’s not walking around in one of her sports bras today. She’s wearing leggings and one of her old college hoodies.
“Hi, Stephanie.” He smiles as she hugs him, and for a moment, he looks like a father instead of a mafia member.
But those moments are few and far between for people like us.
Stephanie chatters excitedly to Tony as I grab my wallet, keys, and gun. She tells him things that have happened at work and how crazy life has been.
“I’m leaving now,” I say.
“Ok,” she says. “Bye, Shu.”
“C’mere.” I motion for her to come towards the front door.
“Huh? Ok.”
I give her a kiss and she turns bright red. “Th-there’s someone else here,” she sputters.
“I know.”
I kiss her one more time for good measure.
* * *
“What bullshit do we have today?” I ask Taime.
“Drug shipment at the docks.”
This is why we’re in bed with Gary Hawthorne. We use his medical business to ship our opioids through various parts of the country. Gary mostly sells medical supplies, but also dabbles in pharmaceuticals, so it’s common to find prescription drugs with his shipments. There’re no questions when cargo is stopped for checks (plus, it’s Gary Hawthorne’s company) so our drugs move to the next location without issue.
Today we have a shipment of Fentanyl that will net us two mil. As an underboss, I need to make sure this goes smoothly.
“What’s been going on with Eduardo?” I ask.
“He’s in Mexico right now, and I haven’t been able to visit him. Do you know how hard it is to get guns over the border? I think they’ve got border patrol in their pocket, too, so we’re too late for that,” he sighs. “Intel is that he has his compound locked down. After the failed assassination of both of Gary’s kids he knows the punishment will be worse than 500k worth of stolen drugs.”
“This has gone to shit fast. Gary is going to be on our ass that we haven’t murdered him.”
