“Can I feel you? I want to know if you are.”
She swallowed audibly. “If…if I’m what?”
“Wet,” I said in her ear. “Between your legs.”
She moaned again, arching her back unconsciously.
“You’re…you’re hard,” she blurted out.
“Yeah.”
“Does it…hurt?”
“Uncomfortable,” I replied.
“Is it…okay?”
“My cock?”
Then she started laughing, giggling like an adorable schoolgirl who had cut classes and didn’t get caught.
“Yeah,” she answered, still laughing. “Is it?”
I let out a sigh. “I need to…adjust it.”
“Okay?”
“Hmm. You need to get off me first. Unless you want me to continue.”
She sucked in a breath and didn’t say anything, but her body did. Her hips moved.
I gripped her hips, then guided her against my arousal. I sucked on my bottom lip, grinding up against her. Wanting more.
“Stop!” she said, laughing, swatting my arm playfully.
“I’m sorry,” I said teasingly. “Are we finished?”
Her lashes fluttered. “Let me up, Cam.”
I could feel her body yearning for my touch. But I thought of the last time I had her on top of me and what I’d promised her. I let out a long breath, lifted her up, and placed her gently on the bench. She weighed as much as a feather.
Her face was flushed, but she didn’t look away, watching me as I adjusted myself in my pants.
“Better?” she asked. Her voice sounded raspy.
Not really. “Yeah,” I lied.
I was sure she’d drive the hell out of here using my truck and leave me if she knew what was in my head. What I was imagining doing to her. What I was imagining her doing to me.
She got up, pulling her dress down, fixing her hair. I felt the loss of warmth and the weight of her body as I pushed up from the bench, stood beside her.
“Here,” I said, handing her the blue hair tie so she could put her hair up if she wanted to.
She shook her head. “Keep it. I want you to.”
I smiled and put it in my pocket. I wanted to keep it. She’d given it to me. And now she couldn’t take it back.
I pushed open the wooden secret door and let her pass first. We walked for a bit. She was quiet, but she was making these little sighs now and then. I lowered my head so she wouldn’t see my smile. She was thinking about what happened in the secret passage.
“Do you have any hair ties from other girls?” she blurted out suddenly.
I frowned. “No. Why would I?”
She grinned. “Good answer.”
“It’s not a good answer,” I said, walking beside her deeper into the maze. “Or bad. It just is.”
Why did she want to talk about this? Feeling uncomfortable, I stole a glance at her. Was she going to blow up later about this, or did she just genuinely want to know?
I went out with girls before, and I thought I had a pretty good idea what they were like, but with her, I never knew what was coming.
She looked at me as if she was still waiting for an answer. I reminded myself that she wanted me to open up more.
I wanted to know more about her. But she was right. It wasn’t fair if I kept asking her for things I wasn’t willing to give. I hadn’t even been aware I was doing that until she mentioned it.
“I never kept anything from the girls I slept with before,” I confessed, sighed, then checked to see her reaction. “If that’s what you’re asking me.”
“Maybe you just keep stuff from the girls you haven’t slept with before.”
Why did she want to know this?
When I asked her that, she answered with a little shyness that I found so damn adorable, “It’s part of your past and I’m curious.”
I looked at her for a moment, studying her face. “I don’t spend time with a girl I’m not going to sleep with. I don’t see the point. I know that makes me an asshole, but I have to tell you that they don’t want to spend time with me either.”
“How would you know?”
I shrugged.
“I think some of them might want to spend time with you, but you just won’t. There are girls who want more than just sex, you know. How come you spend time with me then?”
I gave her a knowing look. “You’re the exception.”
“Why?”
Did she really have to ask?
“You’re just…different.”
She nodded as if she understood. “Like weird different.”
“No,” I answered truthfully. “Refreshingly different. You’re…real.” I remembered the very first time I saw her at my neighbor’s house. The one she nicknamed Dingle Dick. “Fearless. Fucking beautiful. I can’t compare you with anyone else because there’s no one that could measure up.”
Her eyes widened, then softened.
I shrugged. “It’s the truth.”
“What if I don’t sleep with you?” she asked. “Ever?”
“Then I’m just going to have to keep begging until you do.”
She grinned, enjoying the image she saw in her mind. “You might need to wait a long time.”
“How long?”
“A long, long time.”
I sucked my bottom lip in my mouth. “You think so?”
She narrowed her eyes. “That wasn’t a challenge.”
I smirked. “Then you shouldn’t have kissed me in the first place.”
“What if I don’t sleep with you?” She raised an eyebrow, unlacing her fingers from mine and walking ahead of me. “I might not. I mean you can expect anything you want, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”
Oh, it was going to happen. From the moment I saw her, I wanted no one but her. And I knew I would want no one for a long, long time. We could barely resist each other now. I could feel it by the way her body shifted toward me, the way her eyes lingered on me, the way she kept biting that irresistible bottom lip. The only question was when she was ready. I would never force her. She had to come willingly to me.
“What if I don’t want to sleep with you?” I teased.
She tossed her hair and shot me a look over her shoulder heavy with womanly knowledge.
This woman would have me begging on my knees anytime of the day and enjoy it.
I put my hands together and looked up to the sky. She threw back her head and laughed.
I smiled at the sound. She looked more carefree tonight, as if she’d left all her burdens back home and just brought herself. It was a pleasure seeing her this happy. I wanted her to be like this every damn day.
“Do you know your neighbors who live across from you?” she asked suddenly.
I chuckled. She was definitely talking about Dingle Dick. “I was just thinking back to the first time I saw you.”
“You were?” She sounded happy about that. “I first saw you on campus. In the lecture hall.”
“The first time I saw you was in front of my house. You were on a mission to cut off my neighbor’s balls. The one you named Dingle Dick.”
“Dingle Dick?” she laughed. “How did you even know? He did mention that…”
I frowned. “He mentioned what?”
She waved her hand. “Tell me about this encounter. I don’t remember seeing you.”
“Ouch,” I said. “You don’t remember?”
It was a dead end where she was heading, but I didn’t say anything. I wanted her to discover the maze on her own.
I pressed the remote in my pocket and the lights I’d installed in the maze came on.
“Pretty lights.” She looked at the blue lights on the ground, then the fairy lights I’d recently installed in the trees, th
inking of her. I wondered if, during the time I was installing the lights, after I left her, I’d always known that I’d bring her here eventually.
Yes, I realized, I did.
She turned around at the dead end, walked to her left, and kept going. If she kept going straight, she’d hit a secret passage. I looked at her long hair swaying behind her back as she walked ahead of me. The sway of her hips tempting me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t see you. I have this thing…” She looked over her shoulder at me and caught me checking out her ass. She rolled her eyes.
I grinned.
“Sometimes I block out everything around me except for my current mission in life, so that’s probably why I didn’t see you at the time.”
“I know. I noticed.”
“Really?”
I nodded. She stepped back so she could walk beside me.
“I went back to…look for you after you left…” she said quietly.
My eyes lifted to hers. She went to my house to look for me?
“Big Tony was there.”
“Big Tony?” I repeated.
She chuckled. “Your neighbor.”
“Ah.”
“He said you told him that I would harass everyone in his life if he didn’t pay his bill.”
“I had to improvise. He’s a piece of shit for not paying his bill.”
“He paid. Thank you for that. Although couldn’t you have made up something else? Like maybe I was a secret assassin or something. And, Cameron?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for getting me the job. At Rick’s.”
I frowned. “You know?”
“I asked Dylan when he’d just woken up. Why didn’t you just tell me about the job?”
“You wouldn’t have accepted it if you knew it came from me. You’d have been suspicious and rejected it,” I said. “Are you angry?”
“That you got me the job?” She shook her head. “No, I’m not angry, Cam.”
“I never stopped thinking about you. When I came back, I didn’t know if you’d ever let me see you again. Talk to you again. I knew our deal was off after what I did. I didn’t have a plan and I was going fucking crazy thinking of you. I had forgotten I had asked Dylan to tell you about the job before all…this happened. So when I found you at The Yard that day, I was caught off guard. I didn’t expect to see you. And when I did, I was desperate to hold you and never let you go. But I was more…afraid you’d reject me.”
“Was that why you acted like nothing happened? I thought you just didn’t care.”
“Of course I cared. I’m just good at…looking like I don’t.”
She gave me a small smile.
“I told Dylan not to tell you I referred you for the job,” I said.
“You can get him to talk about almost anything in the morning when he’s still half-asleep.”
I laughed, remembering what she was like in the morning. “You’re a zombie until you drink your coffee.”
She flushed. “I guess you know that by now about me, huh?”
“I want to know more about you,” I said.
“I want to know more about you too.”
She smiled at me, and I smiled back.
I noticed she didn’t have her blanket anymore. It must have fallen when we were in the secret passage. I took off my jacket and placed it on her shoulders. And this time, instead of shrugging it off and throwing it back at me like she did that first time I walked her home, she held it closer to her.
“Thanks.” She gave me another smile. I wanted her to keep smiling at me. “Can I ask you something then?”
I nodded. Just don’t ask me to leave you alone. Like you did before. Even if I deserved it.
She looked down at the ground as we walked before she asked, “Why didn’t you text me before you left?”
I didn’t answer right away, wanting to give her a real, honest answer by thinking about what I was going to say to her.
“Sometimes,” I began, massaging my knuckles with my other hand. “I need to get away from…everything.”
That sounded useless, but I didn’t know how else to explain it to her. I wished for words, better words I could give her to remove the sadness in her eyes.
I looked down, gathering my thoughts, and tried again. “There are things in my past that still haunt me. And I have to deal with them the way I know how.”
“Is this where you went?” She gestured at the maze.
“I went to finish a project up north first. And then I drove here. But yeah, I stayed here for a while.”
“I see.”
I must have taken a while gathering my thoughts because I heard her sigh.
“I’m not used to telling anyone where I’m going, Kara.” I stopped and leaned against a tree trunk. “Not since I was a kid. And even then…”
She leaned against the tree across from me. She gathered all her hair and piled it on her left shoulder. It streamed down her front silkily. She made a captivating picture, standing there, watching my face.
“I’m not making an excuse,” I continued. “It just is. I didn’t think about telling you that I was leaving because I never had to do that before. I’m not used to anyone looking for me.” I raked my fingers through my hair, uncomfortable at having to explain. “The people I’ve allowed in my life know I don’t want them to look for me.”
Her eyes drifted down. Was she hurt by what I said? The thought of her waiting for me to call or text squeezed my heart painfully.
“Kara, I’m sorry I left without a word. I had no idea how it would affect you. I know you like me. That you’re very attracted to me. But I didn’t know you…had feelings for me. That you cared.”
I let out a breath. It was hard opening up, even with her. It was hard. “I stopped thinking. I’m sorry. I didn’t think I was important enough to you to… I didn’t think at all.”
I was staring at her face the whole time, but she never once lifted her eyes up to mine. I kept quiet and waited until she looked at me.
When at last she did, she said, “I think I understand. And I’m sorry because I know I demand and expect things to happen right away, disregarding how hard it is for you to open up. I’m learning, too. This is all new to me too. But…” She trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip.
I pushed away from the tree and walked to her. Her eyes were on me, her face open, beautifully vulnerable to me.
I cupped her face in my hands, leaned down to kiss her lips. Her taste was a balm to an open wound.
“I was worried about you,” she said. “Can you tell me next time, if you leave again? Just send me a text, a call, an email. Send a bird with a note. Anything.”
I chuckled, kissed her again.
“I’m sorry you were worried about me. I’m an ass, but I don’t want to be an ass to you. I hate hurting you. When you told me I was just like everybody else…” I paused, feeling my chest tighten. “It…hurt me. And I realized that I couldn’t let you go that night without letting you know how important you are to me.”
I rubbed my face with my hands, wondering if I was doing this right. If I was making an idiot of myself. But her hazel eyes told me to keep going.
“I don’t want to be just like everybody else to you.”
“You’re not.” She reached for my hand. “You’re not, Cameron.”
“I know you said you care for me and that I don’t feel the same about you. You’re wrong.” I stroked her hair, her neck, her face. “Whatever I have for you inside me is stronger than anything I’ve felt before. I tried to forget you, but it’s impossible. I had no one I wanted to call mine…before you. I didn’t care about anyone. There are only two people I’ve let in my life.” I tipped her chin up. “And now there’s you.”
She sighed softly.
“I’ve never been good w
ith words. But I’ll show you. I want to show you.”
She closed her eyes as I kissed her eyelids, her cheek, her nose. “You’re doing good so far,” she said. “Really good.”
I kissed her lips, her chin. “Am I?”
She nodded and opened her eyes.
“I’m ready to tell you now,” I said. “About the maze.”
“All right.”
I looked down for a moment, feeling my heart pound against my chest. There was a familiar ringing in my ears every time I remembered what happened just behind the maze. Something I kept forcing my mind to forget.
I stepped forward, leading the way this time. When she grabbed my arm, I paused and met her eyes.
There was an understanding there and a whole lot of strength that reinforced my own. She slid her hand into mine, squeezing tightly. As if somehow she felt my apprehension.
“I got you, Cameron,” she whispered. “I got you.”
Goddamn it. Goddamn it. I gripped her jaw, yanking her to me. I kissed her again, hard and fast. Something that would tell her how much I wanted her. Her fingernails dug into my back as she rubbed her body against me. I would take her right here if we didn’t stop now.
“Baby,” I murmured in her ear, gathering her close to me. “You have to stop now, or I’ll fuck you right here.”
I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to possess her. Not just her body but…more. Just more. I seemed to want more from her than I ever wanted from any woman I’d been with. It couldn’t even compare. It left me frustrated. It left my heart aching.
She pulled away, licking her lips. She brushed her hair off her face as she tried to catch her breath. Then she nodded. “Let’s go.”
She walked close to me, still holding my hand. We were close now.
“How did you find out about this place?” she asked.
“Raven and I moved here when I was a kid.”
She frowned. “Who’s Raven?”
“My mother.”
“You call your mother by her given name?”
I nodded but didn’t offer her an explanation.
“How about your dad?”
“They’d divorced by then. She moved around a lot, and she took me with her everywhere. It was an adventure for her.”
Spitfire in Love Page 28
