Me.
Mandie
I wasn’t sure what to expect when we got to the clubhouse, but the feeling of family and camaraderie surrounds us as two little ones run around giggling and blowing bubbles. “Hey, Mandie!” Corrie calls out. “Come sit with us. Oh, aren’t you cute?” she states to Aria. “Shayla, I think she’s close to Meli’s age.”
“How old is she?” Shayla inquires.
“She’ll be four soon,” I reply. “She’s tiny for her age, though.” The guilt that swamps me at that fact has my head dropping.
“Nothing wrong with being petite, Mandie,” Matt rumbles out, setting Beau down in a playpen that I didn’t even notice was set up.
“Aria, here are some bubbles,” Shayla says to my daughter. I’m listening to all the conversations and the longing that wells up inside takes me by surprise.
This is a family.
They may not be biologically related, but they’re family, nonetheless.
I want that for my kids. I want the fun, the extra aunts and uncles, the love.
Beau, meanwhile, has grabbed a truck and is banging it on the bottom of the playpen, gurgling and babbling. I watch as Shayla shows Aria how to blow bubbles and smile through the tears.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Matt whispers.
“Yeah.” I don’t really know what to say. I mean, we’re just starting out and hell, up until he said that to me last night, I never in my wildest dreams thought it was a possibility.
“I’m gonna go grab a drink, what would you like?”
“Lemonade?” I ask. At my response, the women start laughing.
“You’re not the butt of a joke,” Corrie says, seeing the look on my face. “It’s just that when I was pregnant, I craved frozen lemonades and apparently, Kirsten here, is craving ice-cold orange juice. It just struck us as funny.” And in my case, it would be a miracle seeing as I haven’t had sex in almost two years, give or take. Beau is nearly a year old now, and Alistair left when I found out about the pregnancy.
“Oh, congratulations,” I reply, looking at Kirsten. Then, staring closer at Corrie, I see her small baby bump. “And I guess for you as well.”
“May as well make it a trifecta,” Shayla states, pointing down at her stomach. She’s barely showing but I can see the glow surrounding her.
“All three of you?” I whisper.
Their laughter rings out again as they nod at me. “Our poor men already don’t know what to do with us half the time,” Corrie snickers out between giggles. “Add in the fact that the three of us have pregnancy hormones and I suspect they’ll all be bald soon.”
“We’re gonna need you to be the voice of reason, Mandie,” Shayla intones. She tries so hard to look serious but loses it when I start giggling.
“If I’m the voice of reason, we’re all screwed, y’all,” I advise. That sets them off again and I watch as the three of them nearly collapse into each other, laughing so hard that they’re crying.
“Good to see you making new friends,” Matt teases as he returns with my lemonade. I turn to look up at him and see him grinning down at me. He’s so damn good-looking that it still blows me away that he wants me.
“I think they’ve lost their marbles,” I whisper. “Did you know all three of them are pregnant?”
“So Shayla finally figured it out as well,” he murmurs.
“Does everyone live here?” I question, figuring that’s likely how they know so much about one another.
“Just us single guys, although sometimes, if we’re here late, the others will stay in their rooms they have here.” I nod, even though I don’t fully understand. “But we’re a close-knit group, so we spend a lot of time with each other.”
While I watch, the other men come over and scoop up their women, sit down, then place them back on their laps. Not missing a beat, Matt pulls up a chair, plops his ass down then pulls me so I’m sitting across his lap, my legs dangling off to one side. I can feel the heat from his leather vest that he put on once we got to the clubhouse seeping into my shirt. The smell surrounds me; leather, oil, and something faintly woodsy, that I know has become my favorite scent in the world.
“Rex! How long before the meat is done?” Reese calls out.
“It’s done when it’s done and not a minute sooner, as-um, butthead,” Rex replies, looking at the kids watching him.
“Good save, Rex,” Corrie yells, causing all of us to laugh.
Before long, Rex hollers out that the meats are done, and I stand with the other women as we prepare the kids’ plates. Beau is still mostly on baby food, but I’ve been introducing some softer foods to his diet, so I make a plate for him as well. “You go get them situated and I’ll fix you a plate,” Matt says. “Anything you don’t like?”
“No, not really. I mean, I won’t eat any kind of exotic meat like gator or snake, but it looks like y’all made regular old hamburgers and hot dogs,” I reply.
He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear before he leans in and says, “Yeah, I won’t eat that either. Do you want a burger or a dog?”
“Burger, please.” My response comes out breathless and I chalk it up to the fact he’s so close. Granted, I’ve been sitting on his lap for some time now, but still, the impact he has on me is mind-blowing.
“Be back in a few,” he advises as he gently pushes me toward where Aria is now sitting, chattering away with her new little friends. I set her plate down and quickly cut her hot dog into manageable pieces before I hand her a fork.
“Looks good, Mommy,” she says. I’m fortunate that she’s not a picky eater. Judging from the little boy’s plate, as well as the other little girl’s, they aren’t either. I kiss her head and pat her back before I take the other plate I fixed for Beau and move toward the table near the playpen.
Picking him up, I grin. He’s such a happy baby and when he sees the food, he starts banging his hand against my shoulder. “Shush, Beau,” I say. “Mommy will get you fed in just a minute. Patience is a virtue.”
“Not for a little boy,” Reese quips, walking over with a highchair in tow. “Thought this might make it easier for you to feed him.”
“God, yes. He’s quite messy.” I glance down at my shirt, which now bears a slobbery handprint, causing Reese to laugh.
“Nothing a little water won’t fix,” he advises.
“Or in Beau’s case, a lot of water,” I reply, remembering the dirt from a few days ago. I get my baby boy situated and let him go to town with the finger foods I got for him, keeping a close eye so he doesn’t decide to overstuff his mouth.
Matt returns with two plates laden down with food and I feel my brows raise. There’s no freaking way I can eat all of that! He sees my look and says, “Whatever you can’t eat, I’ll finish.” Once he’s set our plates down, he goes back to the coolers and returns with fresh drinks for both of us.
As the afternoon progresses, the men pull out cornhole boards and soon, we’re embroiled in a guys against girls game while the kids play in the playground area. I’m thrilled to see Aria and Amelia playing together and have to hold my laughter back when I notice that Reese and Corrie’s little boy, JJ, is acting like one of the guys. He’s standing back, his little arms across his chest while the girls giggle with their dolls. “They’re so stinking cute,” Corrie whispers. I turn to say something and notice she’s crying.
“Why are you crying?” I murmur back, hoping to keep her man from noticing.
She waves her hand in front of her face. “Pregnancy hormones. I’m either crying, eating, sleeping or fu- um, you know,” she replies, her face turning red. I start laughing because I know where she was going with her response. I remember those hormones and even though I was single during my pregnancy with Beau, I was a hot mess most nights.
“For fuck’s sake, Corrie, what has you weepy now?” Reese asks, a smirk on his face. Obviously, this isn’t unusual for her, because he pulls her into his chest, and I hear her contented sigh.
“Just watchin
g the kids while we wait for our turn,” she says. He glances over to where the three older kids are playing and starts chuckling.
“I think we’re witnessing a future prospect, brothers,” he calls out, nodding his head to JJ.
“Train ‘em young,” Nick advises.
“He’s learning from some of the best men I know,” Matt states, coming to stand next to me. Leaning in, he asks, “Do we need to get the kids home? I know it’s getting late.”
I glance at my phone and see what time it is and reluctantly say, “Yeah, I have a class tomorrow and then I have to work for a few hours. Plus, they both need baths.”
“Alright, let’s get them rounded up,” he replies.
I touch his arm to stop him and murmur, “I’ve had a good time today, Matt. Thank you for bringing us.”
“My pleasure, sweetheart,” he returns, leaning in and kissing my forehead. Such a simple act yet it warms me to my soul. How is it possible to be falling for someone based on a few minimal touches?
6
Mandie
Last night after Matt brought us home, he helped me get both kids inside before leaving. As we stood at the door, he reached over and pulled me into a hug. That simple embrace stayed with me all night, through several breathing treatments for Aria, and one midnight bath after a coughing spell made her throw up. As I stand under the beating shower, I roll my head on my shoulders in an attempt to ease the tension that has me strung tight. Hearing Aria cry out, I fly out of the shower, pulling my robe on over my wet body.
“I’m here, sweetie,” I croon as I pull her close. Noticing that her lips are blue-tinged, I decide that we need medical intervention because what I’ve been doing isn’t working. “Let me call Olive and have her come to watch Beau.” Aria lays in my arms, limp and wheezing.
My fear ramps up as I carry her in my arms back to my room, where my phone sits on the nightstand. Grabbing it, I quickly call Ollie and she tells me she’ll be there in a few minutes and to call for an ambulance.
I can’t afford an ambulance, but right now, my sweet girl is struggling. I’ll figure out a way to pay it later. I place her on my bed and prop her up with pillows to hopefully ease her breathing and get dressed as fast as possible, while talking to the dispatcher. She advises that an ambulance is being dispatched and I send up a prayer that Ollie arrives before they do so that Beau is taken care of. With nothing to do but wait, I move us to the living room and grab her inhaler. She hates using it, but I need her to get more air into her little lungs, so I hold her as I squeeze the inhaler. She coughs and wheezes a little bit after the second puff, then bursts into tears.
“Hurts, Mommy,” she wails.
“I know, sweetie, I know.” I hear the knock on my door before Ollie walks in and despite the circumstances, I smile. She must have literally walked out the door when I called because she’s wearing a SpongeBob onesie and her hair is sticking up everywhere.
“How is she?” she immediately asks, coming over to the couch.
“Not good,” I whisper. I can feel the fear trying to paralyze me, but I push it back. I need to keep calm so that Aria does. “Can you maybe pack a few things for us really quick? I don’t know what’ll happen, but I suspect we’ll be admitted.” She nods and rushes down the hall to gather up some clothes and Aria’s favorite doll. I don’t think to ask for any of my hygiene items; it’s not on my radar right now.
I hear the siren and breathe a sigh of relief. “Help is here, Aria,” I croon. She’s almost lifeless at this point and terror takes hold of me. The paramedics rush into my house and immediately take her from my arms, leaving me feeling bereft.
“Ma’am, we need to take her to the hospital,” the older woman advises as they strap my little girl onto the gurney. They’ve already got an oxygen mask on her and an IV started.
“Yes, of course,” I reply, grabbing my purse and the bag that Olive shoves into my arms. “I’ll call you when I know something. Kiss Beau for me, please.”
“I’ve got you, Mandie,” she replies.
With nothing to do but sit by my little girl’s side as they work on her, I send up a silent prayer that she’ll be okay. I can’t lose her; she and Beau are the most important things in my life.
“We’re going to admit her,” the emergency room doctor advises. They’ve done a blood gas test and I’m still holding back the tears at how my daughter screamed while in restraints. Right now, they’ve given her something to calm her down, as well as some heavy-duty steroids and an antibiotic. “She’s in respiratory distress, Miss Matchum. I’m glad you called for help.”
“She started yesterday and had four breathing treatments, as well as one use of her inhaler before I called. Should I have called sooner?” I question.
“Unfortunately, with asthma, a child can go downhill quickly. It sounds like you were following the protocol her doctor has you on.”
“Yes, sir. I didn’t check her numbers today because her lips were turning blue, so I knew she needed help.”
“She’s going to be fine, Miss Matchum. We’re getting the admission paperwork done now and will get her settled into a room. I presume you’ll be staying with her.”
“Absolutely.” I know Beau is in good hands and that if she needs to, Olive will take him home with her so that Maria can help.
It takes another hour before we’re finally in a room. I look at Aria, so small and still, in a pediatric hospital gown. She’s got an oxygen mask on and while I don’t understand all the medical jargon, I know they’ve got it set at one hundred percent. Her left arm is strapped to a board and there’s an IV that is connected to three different bags of medicine. The worst part is that because she’s getting so much fluid-wise, they’ve put her in a pull-up, something she hates. As I sink into the recliner next to her, my mind races.
I forgot to notify my instructor. Most of my classes are now online, but I had a video conference this morning that I missed. Pulling out my phone, I send her an email to apologize and let her know what is going on. Then, I call The Steakhouse. When Juan answers, I say, “I can’t come in, Juan, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to this week. Aria’s in the hospital.”
“We know, sweetheart. Don’t worry about a thing. You have sick time and I’ll put that in for you.” At his words, tears begin to stream down my face. I’m not full-time per se, but Juan and Maria set it up so that as long as an employee works at least thirty hours a week, they earn time off. I never use mine because I have no clue when one of the kids will get sick and knowing that I have time that’s banked eases a bit of my burden.
“Thank you. And thank Ollie and Maria too because I’m sure Beau will be at your house while we’re up here.”
“He’s already there and Nonna Maria is in hog heaven,” he states, laughing.
“So he’ll come home more spoiled than he already is,” I surmise.
“Most likely. Now, what do you and the little princess need?”
“Not sure. Ollie packed a bag for me but honestly, I haven’t looked to see what’s in it.”
“I’ll bring you some food later. Hospital food sucks.”
“You don’t have to do that, Juan.”
“Yes, I do. Y’all are family and that’s what family does. I’ll see you two later. Kiss that baby for us,” he instructs.
“Thank you, I will. See you later.” I disconnect the call and sit there, my mind whirling and spinning until I finally fall into a light doze, my hand clutching Aria’s in a tight grip.
Matt
I smile on my way to The Steakhouse. They have several lunch specials and the need to see Mandie overrides everything else. I wanted so badly to kiss her last night before I left but was afraid it was too soon.
You’re a monster, you repulse me. Jessa’s words come to the forefront of my mind and I shove them back. I know now that the woman I dated in high school, the one I thought was my forever, was shallow and narrow-minded. While I’m still nervous as fuck about Mandie seeing all the scars, instin
ctively I know that for her, it won’t matter.
Despite everything she’s been through, she has an innate goodness that runs through her. I don’t know her whole history, but it’ll happen and I’m content to let it play out for the time being. I pull into the restaurant’s parking lot and frown when I don’t see her car. I know she mentioned she works most days, at least during lunch, so she should be here right now.
I get out of my truck and head inside after putting my cut on. Seeing Juan, I walk over and ask, “Where is Mandie?”
“She’s at the hospital,” he replies, a sad look on his face.
“Is she okay? Did she have an accident?” I fire question after question at him until he raises his hand for me to stop.
“It’s Aria, she apparently had an asthma attack that was severe enough to put her into respiratory distress. They’ve admitted her for a few days at least, so they can get things turned around. She apparently had an underlying case of pneumonia that triggered everything.”
“Does she need anything?” Right now, all I want is to be by her side, but first, I have to make sure she has what she needs to take care of herself and that sweet girl. “What about Beau?” I know she doesn’t have any family, so what will she do with him?
“My wife and daughter have him at our house. It’s not our first rodeo with Little Miss, unfortunately. I plan to take her some food tonight, but if you’re going up there, let me put something together for her for now. Knowing Mandie, she hasn’t eaten.”
I nod then ask, “If it’s not too much trouble, can I place an order for myself?”
“I already planned to make yours as well,” Juan advises. “Go, sit at the bar and have a soda or something. I’ll have it out to you shortly.” I walk over to the bar and ask for a Sprite, which the bartender quickly places in front of me with a wink.
In a short amount of time, although it feels like hours, I’m back in my truck, the smells from the bag causing my stomach to rumble as I head toward the hospital. I already notified Reese, who advised me to find out what Mandie needed so the club could help. He also let me know that they’d take care of Champ for me, at least until I get back to the clubhouse. An idea starts circulating in my mind and I hope she’ll at least listen to what I have to say.
Matt - The Black Tuxedos MC Page 6
